Ramblers

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I’d like to nominate Ramblers.

I noticed four figures the other day walking down the Fell,not following the signposted route. Even though it was pissing down, I jumped on the quad and got the dogs and away we went to meet them. When I got to them, it turned out to be a couple with 2 kids. To be fair to them,they were apologetic and admitted that they were on the wrong path when I pointed it out.

The reason that I want to Cunt them isn’t that they were trespassing,it’s that they thought it a good idea to drag 2 kids on such a shite holiday. Who in their fucking right mind would want to holiday in tents in the middle of nowhere in fucking March? There they stood,dithering with the cold and wet, having “the time of their lives”..fucking idiots. If my parents had tried to drag me on some kind of holiday like that, I’d have called Barnardos and demanded to be taken into care.

If your idea of a holiday is sitting under canvas,piss-wet,eaten alive by midges,dining on half-cooked sausages and burnt beans while tramping over acres of barren moor,you are a Cunt.

Fuck Bear Grylls too,the man is a raving wanker.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

Admin note, watch out for these fuckers Dick!

54 thoughts on “Ramblers”

  1. @Admin Note re. “these fuckers”…..”Naked Rambler”. I met the bloke a couple of years ago who kept getting arrested for being naked as he walked from Land’s End to John O’Groats. Nice enough bloke,but completely deranged. Prancing about the Co-op with a rucsac on his back and his nutsac swinging loose through the fresh-baked loaves is really a bit much. Must say though,if I was built like him,I’d want the world to know too.

    • Apparently, he’s an ex-Royal Marine. Which explains he why seems to be a couple of sarnies short of a picnic. I have no problem with him rambling naked. I do have a problem though, with him thinking he has a right to be naked EVERYWHERE. I’m no prude, but I would hate to have one of my daughters catch sight of some wrinkly old git’s tackle in a supermarket. And that’s another thing. Why is it that most nudists seem to old, fat, or, usually, both? Who the fuck wants to see that? Other than perverts.

  2. Well I dunno how North and South Korea finally came to a peace argeement but something tells me Trump calling Kim Jong Un “a little rocket man” had nothing to do with it but maybe I’m wrong I dunno

    But this is basically Trump right now https://imgur.com/ITBkwpG

    • After the heat of the fire, I just can’t help but think that Kim has the upper hand , and perhaps a “cunning little plan” to come out on top. Do I believe peace can be cobbled so easily after 60 odd years.?….Nah.

      • Good point, China probably had more to do with the peace argeement in all honesty but if Trump talked to them I guess that might be possible too

      • Maybe they thought… with a loose cannon like Trump in the White House… it might be a good time to stop playing silly buggers.

        Not the only thing of course, but Trump probably deserves credit – maybe even the Nobel Peace Prize! After all, O’Bummer got one for no other reason than being half black…

      • I’m guessing the libtard, PC, virtue signalling white half held the whip hand… so yes, the bottom half.

        Or was it the tranny missus who held the whip hand?

  3. In hindsight tho if Obama gets a nobel prize for drone bombing innocent civilians then I guess Trump should likewise get one for his twitter shit talking on North Korea

  4. The Countryside for country people! End of…
    I’m sick to fuck of City dwellers telling us all how the countryside should be. Where they can walk ( and fuck to us ) Im sick of all the little city shits bringing their crap to the country, littering, throwing bottles and of course the now obligatory syringes. Pissing and shitting as they please, and setting fires that they have no care to control. Ingram Valley and Alwinton reek of barbies , caked shit, cars rubbish, loud barking fucking music and foul mouthed cunts at top volume.
    And as for the fucking feral kids!!! Mass sterilization. That’s whats needed for these benefit breeding cunts.!

  5. Ramblers are remoaners and liberal left veggies in boots and beards why the feck do they tuck trousers in socks ? Why do they use 2 ski poles? There is a huge herd of feckers round here with their maps a dangling from their necks their huge backpacks with survival gear in, your in Berkshire for fecks sake not the Amazon. And the priggy sanctimonious twats want to ban ALL vehicular access to the countryside even though less than 10% is legally driveable selfish twats 90+% seems pretty good to me.
    Janet street squaker is a rambler so thats another good reason to dispise them, fecking cunts

      • I think if they had their way you would have to wear smooth soled boots so as not to leave a mark, the twats have a fit if a lane gets churned up and they say how it will take years to return it to normal for fucks sake its only mud how do they cope when a farmer gets the plough out. The twat corbyn has a ramblers beard.

  6. I hate nude beachs always old saggy hairy fucks hanging about usually 50- 80 yrs olds senile cunts. No beautiful young nude people or gorgeous young women around just abunch of old burnt out hippies who took too much LSD and watched too many Timothy Leary lectures

    Don’t care for Naked ramblers either for that matter but boy that Stephen Gough is sure adamant about his nude rights good cunting Dick, Cheers m8

  7. Any fucking town in the Lake District in Summer you can find hordes of these fuckers with their brand new boots, rucksacks and compasses around their necks. Floppy hats, beards and nobbly knees complete the ensemble. Ray fucking Mears they ain’t but no doubt they’ve got the “box set.”
    Fucking tossers.

    • “All the gear and no idea” springs to mind. They keep the mountain rescue and coastguard in a job too and give them a few laughs at the predicaments the cunts get into.

  8. It’s the ski poles that crack me up. If you’ve no sense of balance, you shouldn’t be out there.

  9. Am I missing something here?
    I like England’s green and pleasant land. It’s a welcome break from immigrant infested cities. I wouldn’t want to spend my spare time in Bradford or Leicester.

    • You’re lucky. I live in Leicester and might as well live in India, except it’s cheaper there.

      • I live in Bulgaria, full of bloody foreigners here.

        Would be lost without my dog whip with which to beat the natives.

        It is very cheap living though, haggard old skinflint cunt that I am.

      • I was considering running away there in the event of a total whiteout snowflake Britain happening.

        Looked at some property around Reus and seemed decent prices though I don’t know if Brits are welcomed or get ripped off left, right & centre.

      • Brits are fine here, yes there is a bit of ‘con the newcomer’ best avoided by befriending some locals. Or beat them, don’t forget having a friendly wealthy westerner around is favourable to them too.

        Ruse (I guess that’s where you meant) is on the Romanian border up north and bastard cold in the winter.

        All the action is in Sofia frankly best avoided if cunt avoidance is key. Decent prices? Fuck me, one can buy a renovated house with land here for the price of a deposit on an a flat in a shit town the UK.

      • That’s the place. Wasn’t aware it was that cold but as you say you can get a house on a big piece of land rather cheap.

        Whether the law would entitle proper ownership or their is loopholes where you get landgrabbed or forced from your home was my immediate concern as the Spaniards were pulling such cuntish manouveres.

        Wouldn’t want to flee one piss taking government for another bunch of cunts.

      • Fuck, what I meant to write…..

        For the price of a deposit on a flat in a shit town in the UK.

    • No,I wouldn’t want to spend my time in Bradford,either, D of C. ,but it’s the Ramblers that I’m Cunting,not the countryside. I don’t believe that there is any nicer scenery than some parts of the UK.

      • No problem DF, from now on I shall go on a hike instead of a ramble.
        No matter where, my destination is always a pub anyhow.

      • Come up to Northumberland, D of C. Quieter than the Lakes,lovely scenery, good pubs and nice people…apart from me,of course.

        🙂 .

      • I’ve been there, the total antithesis of my neck of the woods. More castles than you can shake a stick at and enough elbow room to swing ten billion cats. I even peered out of the window that Grace Darling spotted the wreck of the Forfarshire from.
        You’ve got a beautiful part of the UK.

      • I used to holiday occasionally at Haggerston until the Sun started them £7.50 holidays and the park turned into a Celtic Football Club supporters riviera.

        A good excuse to go out up to Berwick for the day.

    • Aaaah, “The Sound of Musik”

      Am waiting for the Tarantiono remake, where the Von Crapp family go picknicking in the buff, and get grenades lobbed at them by Hitler Youth out on a training exercise…

      “Do… a deer, any old deer”

  11. Talking about countryside related matters, Countryfile has got very right-on recently with recent segments on veganism, immigrant workers regarding Brexit (of course, Al Beeb) and now gay farmers. Sunday early evenings used to be a guilty pleasure, cushion over the crotch time for Ellie Harrison or Helen Skelton involved in wholesome outdoor pursuits like the cottage industry of hand made bread baskets from ferret turds.

  12. Ramblers aren’t the enemy. They’re actually trying to preserve the Rights of Way that selfish aristocunts would like to shut down. It’s an important British right which goes back centuries and which other countries don’t have. I’m glad of them roaming about and keeping alive the British way. Fuck the greedy landowner cunts.

  13. I made the mistake of getting into a conversation with a bloke from the Ramblers Association, the cunt just went on and on and on….

  14. The fucker in the photo looks like some cunt from Belson!

    If that’s what naked rambling does for you then I’ll stick to “fully clothed, know exactly where the fuck I’m going in my car”-ing instead!

  15. I can never understand why happy hikers walk along with a couple of ski sticks ? I tried it once , they serve no purpose what so ever.

    • Nordic walking is apparently very good for you as it exercises parts that other walking cannot reach.
      Having said that, you don’t need two poles for rambling. Not the same thing at all. A stick can useful when rambling and a small backpack for a jacket and water bottle, but you’re not climbing fucking Everest!
      And Bear Grylls is a cunt.

      I’m coming your way in July D F so watch out. I’m bringing a stick!

      • I shall man the ramparts in anticipation of the sight of a Pedantic Cunt coming over the hill wielding a stick.
        🙂 .

      • Evening Dick….

        Had to read that twice…thought it said ram the man parts…

      • Horizontal walking in good, blonde Nordic company is a better cardio-testicular workout.

  16. There’s a lot of dick pictures appearing all of a sudden. Has Kravdarth joined the admin team?

  17. Well cunted dick I fucking hate townies and City cunts
    Cops had to be called out recently to stop stupid cunts jumping into fields grabbing lambs for fuckin selfies and therefore distressing the mothers !!!!
    Don’t get me wrong I am a cunt and if I’m grabbing the odd lamb it’s for eating with mint sauce

  18. Apparently the going rate for lamb in Wales has increased considerably, and is now around £10/hr….

    • Well given a choice between uk lamb or lamb from as far away as is possible to the UK. I chose uk lamb, I will not buy nz lamb out of principle. The reality is nz lamb tastes fine but we do it better. Not only do we produce better lamb, we also produce better meat in general.

      • British first, NZ second, EU last.

        Welsh lamb is horrendously expensive and EU lamb is shit quality. Like the Donald, we should put our own stuff top of the list IMHO. But you do have to consider price.

  19. Now I am a country cunt as per my name. I have seen all manner of dumb cunts take to our fine environment. The cunts bring the thick of shit kids with them. Now I strongly think kids should know the cow from the pig ect. However they bring the city mentality of going to fast food places or even super markets. Not a crime in its self we all need to eat eat. What fucks my piss to nuclear level is the cunt waste they throw out the bloody window. From bottles to fast food waste, now the closest burger place is over 20 min away. So you drive through the countryside; and oh let’s toss the shit into the lanes for all to behold. Ignorant cunts!

  22. There were these city cunts digging out some plants that I had put to stabilize a bank. I asked them what street in town the lived in and they told me, then I asked what number, the guy asked why, I replied that the missus and I might pop around and see what we would like from their property, it might save a a bit of dosh also. They immediately dropped everything and drove off. Fucking arogant the ignorant cunts, seemed a nice family though.

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