Polite Drivers

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I’d like to cunt the pricks that wave you on.
It would seem that the UK is in the grip of a social change – a change that involves everyone being a mindless fucking prick. A new behavioural trait that implies goodwill to others but in reality involves drawing attention to themselves trying to be selfless.
What utter, utter cunts.
I am of course, refering to the hordes of pious dogooders that stop their car when the right of way belongs to them and “wave you on”.

What the fuck is all that about, and where the fuck does it come from?

Just yesterday, an elderly fella stopped his car on a blind bend to “wave us out”. We were looking to come out of a junction just before the bend. All of sudden, in order to acknowledge this guy’s saintly generosity we were left gambling with the possibility of death as enraged roadusers over and undertook in every direction.

And today, we pulled in between parked cars acknowledging the right of way to the road users in the other lane. So desperate to be seen as kind, the oncoming driver stopped and flashed their lights repeatedly. Even fucking honking their horn!

And a fortnight ago, (actually third time this has happened to me so far) a driver stopped, holding up main road traffic, wound down his window and encouraged me to cross the road.
Well, I refused, and “waved him on”. Thereupon he delivered a torrent of abuse in response to my refusal to acknowledge his generous good nature. In the end, the sheer number of cars behind him got him moving.

Fuck these assholes who want me to die or risk life changing injury just so they can tell themselves that they are kind, giving and patient. Fuck them all.

Nominated by, Cuntflap

78 thoughts on “Polite Drivers”

  1. I’m all for polite drivers, personally, and thanks to all the nice people who get out of my way when I’m filtering into town on the m/c, also people who go the extra few yards backwards on single-track roads with sparse laybys. I get it, though, the ones who use politeness as passive aggression are definitely cunts. There are too few of those round my way (aggressive aggression being preferred) to warm my piss more than slightly.

    Unlike bicyclists.

    • Oh, and – it may be a local statistical aberration, or maybe they’re sympathetic to bikers – white van man’s road manners are certainly no worse than Madame Schoolrun’s in any vehicle you care to name, and indeed considerably better than any of the right hand column’s. Though if you fuck up in front of them you deserve the shouted abuse.

    • To Mr K. and other Cunters ..
      I often wonder if there is a ‘high denominator’ factor amongst Cunters on all having something in common ( apart from having their piss boiled by Cunts)… and that of being a motorcyclist seems to be there or thereabouts … inc. Mr Bastard … don’t be shy, any other Cunters of the two wheeled, motorised persuasion ?

      • I rode a Lambretta in the early 1970s. It was a cunt – the kick start kept malfunctioning.

      • I believe that a Lambretta trumps a Vespa .. a bit more of a ‘man’s’ scooter …

      • I used to be snotty about scooters, but hey, anyone on two motorised wheels deserves a chance. And they’re great in traffic…but so’s my litre sports tourer with flat bars. Yes, I’d noticed we had a few of the elite here. Some ex-Forces, too. Not a coincidence, I think.

      • I’m riding an Aprilia Tuono at the moment. It’s rather good – probably the best handling bike I’ve had. I used to ride a Lambretta to school, many years ago. Never understood people scoffing at particular makes (like Harleys) or scooters – they’re really good at doing what they were designed for. I also drive a car but never ride horses because they’re cunts. They don’t have steering or brakes, the bastards.

      • A horse, when placed on its sides, quickly becomes an obstreperous, uncooperative animal. This does not apply to motorcycles, cheese or toothpaste.

      • Would have got a Mille last time, but I found my knees contacting my chin when I sat on it. So got an SV1000S instead. Lovely handling, and enough grunt for an old fart like me.

      • Last biggish bike was a 1979 Kawasaki Z650. Never owned anything newer and never, ever lusted after an HD. Nowadays just potter about on an old Honda twin built mostly from bits other motorcycle restorers had discarded as unworthy. Also have a 1965 Raleigh Runabout moped (yes I know ha ha point and laugh etc).
        I actually worked at a Vespa dealership for a few years, fucking awkward things to repair…

  2. Driving from a leafy suburb to Croydon (shithole) everyday I get the whole spectrum of cunts. From lycra clad wiggocunts who cycle so fast you can never safely overtake, to the van cunts who switch lanes at 40mph at the last possible second to avoid a stationary queue you can’t see, to audi and range rover bully cunts who think they’re best thing since sliced bread, and of course the aforementioned ‘nice’ cunts.

    Everyday some nice cunt decides to slam on the brakes because there’s a person on a traffic island they feel obliged to let pass. Never check their mirrors, or they would have noticed my car and then empty space behind, in to which said person could navigate.

    Then to top it off you get the hazard warning light thank you I’m a cunt flash. When the hell did that become a thing? All these morons using it at 50 or 60 on A roads to say thanks and giving everyone a heart attack because they now think there’s a hazard ahead. Brainless cunts.

    • Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents.
      Accidents in the back seats of cars…

    • You will have noticed that truly fucking horrible Travelodge development on Wellesley Road then – that was my gift to Croydon. What an absolute shithole of a place.

  3. I’m all for politeness in every avenue of life.

    This extends to drivers and much prefer politeness and courtesy to rudeness, selfishness, bad behaviour and aggression.

    • A situationally aware driver who is calm and polite is good. But there’s too many who lack the situational awareness.. they get virtue tunnel vision and see a chance to be ‘nice’ whilst failing to recognize the situation has evolved or is about too.. or never was safe to bloody begin with.

      Their ego gets in the road, and it really deserves to be smashed by an oncoming HGV at 70mph.

      • Agree wholeheartedly TBCC.

        I am sometimes staggered by the incompetence I see on the road, and wonder how some people ever got their licence.

        The answer is that most Eastern Europeans I read about seem not to have a licence and are usually too smashed to care. Many of our overseas apparently pay other people to take the test for them (as they assume we think they all look the same) and our Peaceful friends (without doubt the Peaceful women are the most clueless of ALL drivers on the planet) think we are raaaaaacist for insisting they have one.

        I listened to one Peaceful lady (her son used to attend the same Performance Centre as my son) telling me how she was cut up at a major roundabout (where the A12 meets the M25) and the other driver (who she said was clearly to blame for the damage to her and his car) lied and said she was to blame.

        Took her side until she gave me lift. Fuck me she was dangerous. Slow, clueless and no fucking road sense whatsoever. She drove a knackered Chevrolet 7 seater with scrapes and dents everywhere. Should have realised before I got in.

        Subsequently found out that she was also a bit of a liar about a lot of things. Thankfully has now fucked off out of the area.

    • My next door neighbour is one of the politest drivers I have ever known. The other day he was giving me and the wife a lift to the builders merchant, and whenever we passed an immigrant he pointed and shouted “Doctor”, “Architect” “Lawyer”, “Rocket Scientist”, etc. The immigrant scum were clearly impressed and flattered by his kind and savvy observations.

      Not sure how he could tell their chosen fields of expertise, though the doctor cunt was a no brainer cos he was openly prescribing drugs.

    • I’m with Willie on this one. Broadly speaking I think everyone should be treated with courtesy and respect…until they behave like a cunt.

    • I used to drive Audis. I had 2 in the early 90s and found them very reliable and driven mostly by normal people. Cunts drove Beemers then. I went working overseas for a few years and when I got back to Blighty, fuck me, Audi drivers were almost always tailgating, non indicating, cut you up cunts. What happened? Was it that cunt Blair? How did Audi change their demographic from normal to cunt?

      • Perceived as more “upmarket” and “exclusive” than a Beemer. Also appeals to twats who like to fantasise that they are Jason Statham in one of those daft Transporter films…

  5. I once ran straight up the back of one of these “polite” Cunts. The car in front of me decided,for no good reason,to slam it’s brakes on,and I piled into the back of the wanker in my Hilux. Totalled their car,and when the driver got out of his shortened vehicle I asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing…No answer. The van driver who he’d actually been flashing out wasn’t so shy and told me what had happened. Did no good,I was still held responsible because I’d run up the back of him.
    I’m aware that you should always leave a safe braking distance between you and the vehicle in front,but really,this Cunt was a fucking lunatic. If he’d been a dusty looking gentleman I’d have thought that it was a cash-for-crash job,but not this Cunt,he was an ordinary,run-of-the-mill wanker.

    • The percentage of cunts who can only see whats immediately in front of them, which is usually obscured by their own gormless ego too. Never a thought about what is behind or around.

      Mirrors. Incredible invention to which all drivers should and are required to use prior to a manoeuvre.

      • Trouble is, the manoeuvre is usually pouting, or the application of make-up and / or straightening of pink fluffy beret.

      • Or looking down at their mobile phone. I got rear ended by one of those cunts.. whilst we were both fucking stationary! She thought I had moved forward because the two other lanes in her peripheral had done so.

        Hottest day of the year, in rush hour, and made us both look like cunts as we held up traffic whilst I took all her details. Regret not having a dash cam otherwise I’d taken her to court and got 6 points on her license. Cunting bint.

      • And why is it that every other road user than a bicyclist is legally obliged to have a mirror (MOT, insurance, tax, knowledge of Highway Code, license)?

        Sorry, still fulminating after yesterday’s Lycra cunt – holding up long queue @10mph on blind bend section, then comes to straight, speeds up and moves out to force traffic to give his sacred sweaty arse even more room. I didn’t. I gave him 2 inches, and fuck him.

    • The careless Cunt deserved a horsewhipping,and I might have delivered it,but I’d been trying to roll a cigarette when the fucker executed his dangerous sudden halt…. baccy and rizzlas spread all over the pickup cab.
      🙂 .

    • I actually take the view when driving that every other fucking driver on the road has set out with the sole intention of killing me – I am usually not wrong…….

  6. Appeaser May has just caved into yet another nonsense Grenfell demand. It must be a whole week since she last caved in to the EU – probably suffering withdrawal symptoms, poor lamb.

  7. What the fuck has the hunchback done now?

    Oh my Christ the woman is a useless turd.

  8. Bitch has agreed to expand the panel of enquiry to make it more “diverse”. In other words sticking some communidee agitators in there.
    Why fuck about? Just give them all a brand new house and lob them a couple of grand a week for the rest of their scrounging lives.

    • The Hunchback Guide To Running a Country……give everything away to any foreign cunt with his hand out.
      Fucking thick useless fucking old crone.

      • Giving loads to those who least deserve it whilst cutting back on those who have paid into the system for most of their lives.

        I would also like a better life. Perhaps I will move to the USA and to the California Pacific coast to live, sit on my arse all day with my hand out and hope and expect others to pay for it. It simply ain’t going to happen.

        So why the fuck does it happen here in the UK?

    • How the fuck is having every shade of brown supposed to help the enquiry? Well I suppose they are all future doctors and brain surgeons but they haven’t rounded up loads of scallies from Liverpool for Hillsborough proceedings and it took until last year before any fucker was even charged.

      • What I really cannot believe understand in this country is the length of time and cost of inquiries in this country. Grenfell happened nearly a year ago, and they are still deciding who should be involved in the hearings. Agree the should be an inquiry in order to ascertain which cunts were responsible. Will they be prosecuted once the findings of the inquiry are realised?

        Yesterday there was an update regarding the undercover police inquiry. Started in 2015 (3 years ago). Not only has it cost already £10m, the results are not expected until 2023. From start to finish 8 fucking years and probably in excess of £20m. And for what exactly?

        The Iraq inquiry went on for years and cost millions. And what actually happened once the report was published and made public? Fuck all. Blair and his cronies never prosecuted.

        In my opinion inquiries are completely pointless unless lessons are learned and there is some sort of culpability at the end of it.

      • Your point is reinforced by the (present) government’s apology to Belhaj for facilitating his rendition and torture by the CIA. And its payment of half a million of magic money to his wife.

        Yes, it’s a very complicated story, and Belhaj wasn’t on ‘our’ side. But, at the end of it, both Blair and Straw were denying involvement to anyone who asked, suppressing all enquiry – as did Cameron – and buttering up the really sweet guy Gaddafi. Who was later brought down, to US order, by the very people Belhaj had been training, with Blair’s full support.

        Some of the facts only came to light when correspondence between Blair and Gaddafi’s head torturer emerged. And then the story was much harder to suppress, with yesterday’s result.

        And May has to apologise? For Blair? Blair has been completely silent on his comprehensive exposure as a liar and facilitator of torture by two foreign powers, and plans to remain so. There appears to be a D notice on all matters arising from the Belhaj affair, and while questions were asked by Tories as well as the predictable cunt Galloway, they will remain unanswered.

      • Government should invoice Blair for that £500,000. And if he won’t pay? Take him away…

  12. There’s a junction near us where right turners need to cross two lanes of traffic. Every couple of weeks some tool in the RH lane waves someone across, which they gratefully accept, and promptly get T-boned by some poor sod coming up the inside. As others have said, it’s the total lack of situational awareness that marks them out as cunts.

  13. Already heavily cunted in our parish and only in the last week so probably not due another – but as the caliphate of Londonistan sinks beneath a morass of knife, gun and acid crime, the shah of the city-formerly-known-as-london has unveiled his big new idea today: banning fast food adverts on the bus.

    Or, if you’re slightly cynical like me: banning adverts for non halal food.

    Cunt.

    • Yeah just like he banned ads with tasty, scantily clad birds because it promoted “body fascism”. Nothing to do with his belief that women should be covered up and kept in line.
      What the fuck has fast food got to do with the fucking Mayor? It’s not his job to tell people what to fucking eat, the cunt.
      Mind your own Muzzie business you wanker and do what you are paid to do. No cunt voted for a Mayor to set himself up as a censor. The cunt will be down London Zoo next trying to liberate the goats and camels. Fucking wanker.

    • A story of a similar vein akin to sticking a plaster on a gunshot wound was the school who have banned pencil cases to stop poorer pupils being bullied.

      First off what teenage cunts use pencil cases anymore? Are classrooms not all laptops and hologram teachers now? secondly I think they are more likely to get bullied for not having the latest smartphone or trainers than a fucking pencil case.

    • Heard that on the wireless this morning. A desperate diversionary tactic; ban fast food ads and get the proletariat muttering about it and raise the associated news profile hoping it overshadows news of further streetgang monkeyshines and stabbings.

      He clearly hasn’t thought this through. The natives may have an issue if you try to ban big pics of their beloved chiggun at bus stops which they they can run their bootlips up and down whilst droolin’ an dreamin’ about the real ting, innit. They are spoiling for a riot and this might just be the excuse they need to kick off again.

    • Half the cunts of London who are staggering round with stab / gunshot /acid wounds won’t live long enough to die from bad diet related ailments .The stupid cunt.

      • If they are not shot or stabbed then a chiggun related coronary is a good bet.

    • I was going to cunt Al-Beeb News on this issue.
      A load more nannying, because people are too fuckin stoopid to take any responsibility for themselves, then, without the slightest irony, the next item was about life size chocolate cake models of Horry & Markel.
      Royal wedding AND Eurovision Mong Deviancy & Vomit-inducing PC contest within a week…
      I was hoping something interesting such as spontaneous combustion might take place during Eurovision (while some leprechaun arse-bandit’s tailpipe overheats and the grease ignites), then…
      Someone called SuRie suggested that she might spontaneously combust !!!
      A win-win.
      I won’t be watching, I’ll just await the good news the next day.

      Fuck them.

  14. Brilliant cunting Cuntflap

    I proper pissed myself when I saw the title on the previous page, fuck me I could have written this I thought.

    I genuinely really am with you on this subject. I do around 40000 miles a year in an Audi so I’m a proper cunt too but fucking polite drivers are a fucking menace.

    Only a couple of hours ago I was behind one such creature at a roundabout who was happy to let the world go by without a single thought for all the traffic behind.

    The cunt had even positioned its car so not only did you not know if it was going to go left, right or straight on the positioning meant you could squeeze past either way.

    It wasn’t until some really irate cunt in a black Audi directly behind her had had enough and started banging his horn did she panic and get the fuck out of the way.

    These cunts need to be removed from the roads as a matter of urgency. They are a danger. They have ZERO awareness of their surroundings only what’s in front of them.

    Any sensible driver not only knows what’s ahead but also what ‘around’ and stopping to let cunts out or not pulling out without considering what’s behind is as bad as pulling out without looking in my book.

    • Excellent analysis and one which I heartedly agree. btw that was probably me in the black Audi banging on the horn, or it would have been if I had been there.

  15. Driving a car is at the limit of most peoples ability, which is slightly worrying. Driving a car well is a whole different matter.

    Remember the words of George Carlin (paraphrasing); if the average person is stupid then 50% of people are stupider than that.

      • Talking of which I see that elitist treacherous cunt Dominic Grieve once again mouthing off in an attempt to subvert the democratic will of the British people. I call for all the cunts like Hesslecunt who receive grants and subsidies from the EU to declare their interests before even contemplating speaking on this matter. Paid for cunts.

  16. This silly old Doris came steaming round the corner the other day trying to overtake a cyclist. Nearly smashed me and my truck to oblivion. Lucky my reflexes are decent otherwise I’d be brown bread. Overtaking a cyclist on a blind bend? Fucking old bint.

  17. Fuck me, yet more “racist Britain” bullshit. If it’s so fucking racist how come every cunt and his wife are falling over each other to get here.
    I don’t see many cunts queuing up to get into Russia or China or any A-rab cunthole.

    • This is what puzzles me. Surely Iran, Saudi or any Muslim country would be better for Abdul and his harem of cousin brides? Perhaps they don’t do benefits, or any other social services. Who knows?

    • Abso-fucking-lutely, Mr Frog.

      These cunts can smell an opportunity a thousand miles off. This country is soft as deer shite to put up with this wankery.

      If they really think It is that bad then perhaps Johannesburg would be a fairer alternative destination for them to settle with their filthy brood of cuntlets.

  18. A ‘UN Inspector’ Yep, that’ll be some thick useless nomark who has an agenda that supports her kaffir feelings of entitlement.
    Cunt.

    • Have these mud-hut generation cunts nothing more constructive to do than play da zippedy-do-da race card?

  19. The fat lezza geezer bird singing for Israel in the euro poofery song contest is part of the #metoo movement. Dream on darling. No one would touch you, apart from Greenpeace.

  20. Excellent cunting mr flap, I seriously think the Highway Code has been totally rewritten at times watching theses shitheads pull up on a free flowing major fkn road to allow another cunt out of a minor one. Twats!
    Why not go the whole fucking hog and stop at green fucking lights to let the poor fuckers on the red through
    And don’t mention the growing band of utter cocks who indicate on motorways prior to looking to see if it’s clear enough to swap lanes, thereby giving every other fucker a shudder as they wonder whether the countess really will just swerve
    Cunts

  21. This is cunting of the year for me.

    Driving is potentially dangerous and not the place for playing ego games. There are rules for a reason. So stick to them unless there is a very good reason.

    Ok if you’re in a line of traffic and someone wants to turn in, let him in everyone wins. If it’s totally choka letting someone in is generally a good idea. But thats pretty much it.

    Some people think they are a fucking mobile give way junction and that sums it up for me. The only rules are thejr kindly whims, but being kind to one is usually taking from others and if those others are travelling quickly in a 2 tonne vehicle then you better be pretty fucking sure what you are doing.

    The worst offenders:

    Stopping at the exit of a roundabout to let pedestrians cross: Fucking dangerous

    Stopping randomly where there are no junctions to let someone cross: Fucking moronic

    And worse, driving slowly so that you have a tail of cars behind you, then turning right, but before doing that letting another driver turning out of the junction out. Not realising that the trail of cars behind you have at last ridded themselves of your indulgently slow and imcompetent driving, have to now endure that chance of being slowed by another moron, as a parting gift: Fucking cunt.

    We’re fucked anyway but in the mean time just for the record I hope these ignorant selfish self righteous cunts fucking suffer. Thinking yourself kind and virtuous when you’re actually being a selfish cunt at everyones expense is the lowest of the low, and exactly wht the traditional morals are there in the first place. Follow the rules or fuck off and die cunts.

    • And the cunts who leave a two car gap when they pull up in a queue, because it’s safe you see

      Until the fucking clueless cunts do it on the exit slip off the motorway, sat there basking in their self-created safety buffer zone, while 25 metres back other poor cunts are sat queuing in lane 1, surrounded by 70mph traffic because stupid cunts left big fuck off gaps on the exit slip
      Fuckers

    • “Stopping randomly where there are no junctions to let someone cross: Fucking moronic”.

      As a pedestrian, I too find this behaviour irksome: I would rather wait until there is a natural gap in the traffic than feel obliged to cross when some interfering ‘polite’ driver chooses to hold up the traffic, more or less demanding that I cross at his behest. Cunt.

    • Its the cunts, who when in a line of slow moving traffic, refuse to move until there is a gap a mile long between them and the car in front of them or possibly even worse they don’t actually stop to achieve this much sought after gap but rather crawl along at a pace so slow that most cars behind them end up stalling or burning their clutch’s out. I usually overtake they cunts and funnily enough they then put the foot down to try and stop me!!! Fucking wankers of the road.

  23. Ban fast food adverts on public transport… Why? Are they going to give schoolkids a grant to be able to afford healthy food? Are they fuck. It’s just an attempt to take the headlines away from the violence, as if eating a salad will stop a kid stabbing someone. Otherwise, the rules are clear; No showing off your body if you are a hot woman. Men may do, particularly if they are promoting vitamins and hair loss remedies. Since no talking is allowed to fellow travellers, you must sign up to a dating website and give them a compete comparability survey (not stealing data, cough cough).

    I do not drive and never have because I have the coordination of a blind donkey on roller skates. I do, however, know the highway code inside out… Well, enough to know that anything else using wheels is often using them wrong. This is why, when virtue waved across a street, I panic and run to the other side pausing only briefly to thank wave the idiot who clearly wants me flattened. It’s much easier to navigate my way through traffic than to be waved by a ninny that has no idea of the speed and walking ability to the wavee.

    A couple of weeks ago I got shouted at by an elderly cyclist who didn’t bother to stop at a zebra crossing as apparently, I should have just given him my right of way. Do bikes not have brakes anymore??

  24. A “rappeur” on racism.

    Box-ticking bollox.

    Non-white – tick
    Female (?) – tick
    Professor of Law – tick
    California Univ. – tick

    Cunt – double-tick.

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