Football Co-Commentators
Co-commentators in football are overdue a well deserved cunting. These irritating fuckwit arseholes, most of which are also pundit cunts, ruin the match with their inane drivel and use of overused cringeworthy footballing cliches. As if it wasn’t already bad enough having to listen to shite analysis before and after the match as well as at half time, you also have to painstakingly endure a further 90 minutes of utter codswallop from the likes of Andy “Squarehead” Hinchcliffe, Danny “Jobsworth” Higginbottom, Kevin “Camp Bastard” Davies and all the other retired overpaid monotonous football tossers with nothing better to do than plague our viewing experience with their nonsense.
Every match I, as well as millions of other poor sods, have to endure this utter abomination week in week out. Old overused cliches, stating the fucking obvious and boring pointless chatter about irrelevant shite is what we have to put up with for the duration of the match. No one gives a flying fuck about your playing days of what you had on your toast for breakfast. Also, there is no need for your ‘expert analysis’ as I don’t need to be talked through the events that are unfolding. I’m sat here bloody watching it for christ sake I don’t need to be talked through what I’ve already seen with my own fucking eyes you useless git. What is the point in having two commentators anyway? You only really need the one cunt at the absolute max, having another giving us their view on things and conversing with the main commo is too much to bear. The shit that comes out the mouth of the co-commo gets me riled up more than if things are going against my own team. The same recycled cliches and their irrelevant shite opinion all the fucking time. Arselicking the ref by saying “it’s the right decision, he’s got that one spot on, for me. He brushed his boot lace, you can’t be doing that I’m afraid. He’s let his team, the manager and the fans down there.” Shit like this makes me want to drive to the stadium, locate the gantry where this fat cunt is sat and viciously assault him while shouting cliches at him. These overpaid and overhyped imbeciles need to be sacked immediately and taken behind a shed and shot.
Co-commentators, you are all cunts!
Nominated by, Jayniño
At the end of the day that’s you’re Hansens, Wright’s, shearers, murphy’s, Brights, Gerard’s, Lawro’s etc etc of this world.
Why the fuck in hells name do they have to go through the entire list. Cunts indeed Sir.
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Football. Played by cunts, reffed by cunts, commentated by cunts and watched by idiotic cunts… True sport of cunts!
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Im new here but have to say I agree with 99% of comms on this site… so much so, I have decided to join in on the cunting 😂
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Could we possibly have a ban on photos of the crisp eating, refugee loving, EU economist, filthy human oil slick? I can put up with cartoons and caricatures of the pool of slime but an actual photo turns my stomach.
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Good point. There is too much smugness in that shit eating smile of his. The cunt knows we all hate him but he couldn’t care less. He uses the opportunity he gets from presenting to rub it in. To make us all mad. “Look at me I earn in a year what you earn in two decades from eating a packet of crisps and being a shit puppet for the Al-BBC.” It’s a real shame that killing is punishable with a lifetime stretch in some cases. In an ideal world all these money grabbing lefty cunts would be subject to a good stoning before being hung drawn and quartered.
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Sky operate on the principle ‘ more is better’ it isnt. they start their ‘build up ‘ to a match about 2 hours before ffs !. by the time the match actually starts you ‘re sort of sick of it already. then there’s the after match ‘ in depth analysis ‘ jeeeezus who the fuck cares!. just put the match on and fuck off. thats all i do these days. i dont watch the build up or the analysis and actually i am increasingly losing interest in football anyway, the ‘wages’ are just obscene. i read last week that some players are getting ‘appearance fees’ on top of their disgusting wages. ffs i thought thats why they were getting paid – to fucking play.
10
A long overdue cunting. Why do they feel the need to say something every few seconds? Kevin Kilbane is the worst for this: “Ye, ball over the sideline. Definite throw in”. Shut up you cunt!!
My dad told me that the old commentators were great because they stayed quiet most of the time and only spoke when it was necessary
6
Don’t watch football but the rugby commentators can be shite and the experts are terrible. Only watch recorded games so I can avoid the expert analysis bullshit.
The worst was Bill McClaren – ‘they’ll be singing in the streets of Carnoustie tonight’ or some such bilge when a jock had caught a ball or stayed upright. Never understood the affection the cunt was held in.
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Cannot be bothered with the cunts at Sky so have to rely on BBC if I can be bothered, which if I am honest is rare these days. I would describe likes of the anti democratic crisp muncher more as a football pundit rather than a commentator, much like Alan “£40,000 ffs and episode and funny tiny eyebrows” Hansen and Alan “big nuts” Shearer.
Commentators I would include the likes of the late great Brian Moore, Barry Davies, David “One-Nil” Coleman and Clive Tyldesley. Love listening to these greats for their raw passion and love of the game of football.
Modern day commentators just don’t have it and leave me cold. Jonathan Pearce like listening to fucking Robot Wars.
Pundits, who the fuck nees them if you have great commentators.
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Peter Drury ain’t bad either. His commentary on the Roma vs Barcelona game last month for BT was exceptional.
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Agreed Willie. Jonathan Pearce was better on the radio. His transition to the gogglebox has been wank.
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Great cunting, though I’d go one step further and cunt the main commentator as well. The art of football commentary has declined over the years. Back when the greats like Brian Moore talked you through a game, he didn’t need a sidekick.
These days, these co-commentator/pundit types have a job solely based upon their professional playing days or not in some cases like Danny Higginbottom – what the fuck did he ever do/achieve? It’s somewhat of an accepted fact that footballers are mostly as thick as pig shit. So why is it the TV companies seem to believe they turn into Plato when they retire from playing? And the describing exactly what you’re seeing or even worse telling you what happening during a replay, I’m sorry but what exactly is that adding to proceedings?
These people are cunts. With all the ‘advances’ in football TV coverage, you’d think there’d be a ‘no commentary/crowd only’ audio option by now.
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Last time I put it on there was some coloured doxie explaining centre-forward tactical play to a clearly bemused Alan Shearer.The sight of that gibbering dolt Ian Wright was the final straw and I turned the Cunts down.
What the fuck can a woman player have to say that’s relevant to Premiership standard football? This endless drive for equality is relentless,I wouldn’t be surprised to get the views of the wheelchair-spacca, Under 12, transexual, Pakistani goalkeeper before much longer.
Fuck them
12
Under 7s would surely be more appropriate?
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Another very agreeable and fine repost to the excellent cunting Mr Fiddler. Wimmin in football is just wrong – on every level. They attempt to mirror their male counterparts down to the finest detail – the blambo who is in the wimmins footy show is particularly pile itching – “yeh and she just managed to get under the ball instead of over the top of it” or benign statements like “she is going to be an England regular for years to come”. They have even started gobbing and blowing snot down their noses like the “pro’s” do.
As for the wretched refugee loving plastic faced jug eared leftie supporting pile of smeg that is Linemepockets – that Hep C should have finished the cunt off. Would have saved me having to hate the cunt for so many fucking years. The local wimmins footy team were in the boozer the other night after training – just a pile of fat rug munchers called shit like Joe, Al and Phil. To a rabid anti anything other than straight binary male / female it made me have to finish off my beer sharpish and move on.
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Have to disagree CUNTABUBBLE
MCCLAREN was diff class compared to the abomination that is John inverdale ( surely commentator cunt of every year )
The biased little dwarf cunt knows fuck all !!!!!
Then there is that welsh cunt Davies closely followed by our own Scots cunts Scott Hastings and Andy Nichol what a pair of wallopers they are
AND that’s leaving ALL your own English fuckers alone
And there’s loads of them All Aresholez and bunglecunts to a man
Oh but it gets much fucking worse when in six nations they then trot out a BLACK FEMALE as an expert with an opinion !!!!!!!!
Fuck me sideways
Infact fuck the lot of them
CUNTS
6
Don’t disagree with your examples. Davies was a great player and is a whining arsehole of a commentator. 2 things:-
I am not English
McClaren remains a cunt, albeit a dead one. The cunt.
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Oh and no fuckin wonder next it will be thon Big horse faced thing that does the racing
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I’m surprised that Balding hasn’t been sniffing around the women’s football. They mostly look like lezzas,but don’t appear to be physically strong enough to repel a determined sexual incursion by that butch swamp-donkey…. .rich pickings for her,I’d have assumed.
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She currently has her own show imaginatively entitled The Clare Balding Show and has interviewed one of the gold medal hockey lezzas, Tom Daley (sorry Bernard, no dice) and Martina Navratilova.
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I knew a woman who played professional rugby… ended up damaging her knees, silly bint.
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@Ruff
Played for Afuk did she?
🤔 🇬🇧
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She was well into porn videos, I know that much.
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@Ruff
A girl. A Rugby team. A scrum. Damaged knees. It conjured up a particular British image.
Might be that common language/separation thing again. Or maybe just my dry Americunt wit. (Well half of it anyway.)
🤓
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You may have a point there General… 👜
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Ha – I gotcha General! Sorry, have been a bit slow today… post Royal Wedding comedown…
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No worries Ruff. I’m having a post Royal Clusterfuck comedown myself.
💏. 👈. 🖕
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I see Grief-fell is back on the menu again.
I see the selective ABBC are agenda pushing again as the only “victims” or “victims’ families” were all of their usually hated demographic.
Not a “peaceful”, illegal or Africunt in sight. Cos we all know that’s 100% representative isn’t it!
Cunts!
And Lammy was their lapping it all up like mana from heaven – the cunt!
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Have to disagree with this one….without commentary a football match, or indeed any sporting event is absolutely pointless. The commentator can make a dull match up seem interesting at least.
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I always turn the commentary off for the snooker.It drives me mad some old Cunt who hasn’t won a game this century spouting off about where the player went wrong and what shot he should have played.
Of course, I don’t count snooker as a sport,so I must say you have a point.
5
I tune in occasionally when The Empire Cunts Back is on the green baize…
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Fair enough Mike. All matches need some sort of commentary. It’s just the co-commo is a bit irrelevant with all his pointless analysis. The main commos are proper commentators with a bit of class and experience. The second rate pundits are just being employed for the sake of it and they have little to offer.
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On further analysis … I do in fact concur that co-commentators are indeed cunts!
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I don’t watch football so I can’t really relate to this cunting but a very entertaining cunting none the less Jayniño.
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Big Ron Atkinson was never afraid to call a spade a spade.
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Ken Livingstone has finally bit the bullet. Utter contemptuous piss head cunt.
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What a shame it is that the Al-BBC spackers get the rights to televise the main footie highlights. Thank fuck for the record function. Although it does come at a price with Sky charging about eighty a month for their shite. Anyway, I can watch the highlights in peace and skip all the shit talk thanks to record and fast forward
2
Football commentators should be routinely exposed to the Ebola virus. Match of the day would become interesting again, as we eagerly tune in to find out which cunts have died during the previous week. .. ” …….. “Unfortunately, Gary won’t be presenting any longer. ….” GET IN !!!!!!
Speaking of Ebola, there has been a breakout in the DRC.” I think if it plays a fast paced, open and attacking game we could get a great result this time ” Over to you John……
5
On footy-related matters, it was your usual graceful stuff from Mourhino when Manure lost the FA Cup final.
Oh fuck, silly me, of course it wasn’t. He blamed everyone else, including his own “striker”, then claimed that his miserably dull bunch of spoilt millionaire cunts deserved it more than the other indulgent millionaire cunts. Drink some cement you oily, stroke-faced loser.
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I can’t believe Mourinho’s only been cunted once, he’s a miserable twat and a bad loser. Anyone remember his guest appearance on Goals On Sunday? It was fucking embarrassing. I bet Chris Kamara and Ben Shephard said “we’re not having that cunt back.”
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Allow me to attempt to address this mistake.
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I’m a longstanding Sretford Ender, and I despise that Portugese cunt…. I cunted him myself about a fortnight ago…
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Football commentary is a cunt so of course it follows that co-commentators will be a lower pile of cunt.
What could also justify its very own cunting is the pile of cunt ‘sayings’ ex footballers churn out until their Duracell’s have run out
‘Ah the lads did well’. Cunt
‘You couldn’t ask any more of the lads’. Cunt
‘He’s running out of steam’. Cunt
‘The transfer window has slammed shut’. Fucking cunt.
‘Well it’s a game of 2 halves’. Cunt
‘We did as the gaffer asked’. Cunt
‘We win as a team and we loose as a team’. Really, cunt
‘The crowd were the extra man today’. Fuuuuuck offfffff
‘The lad covered every blade of grass today’. Oh do me a favour
‘The Premier League is the best league in the world’. Is it fuck
A worthy cunting indeed Jayniño
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That made me as sick as a parrot.
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Souness is a good pundit, and Phil Neville is the worst ever (and a cunt)…
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Mourinho is a shithouse and his teams play shithouse football, he claims all the glory when the team wins but blames everyone else when the team loses. United fans can look on the bright side though as next season will be his 3rd and that’s generally all he does before moving on.
3
Judging by the amount of football banter on here tonight, my hating of the cuntiful game puts me rather in the minority. Hey, that means I’m a minority…I hereby demand rights I don’t deserve and will start sympathising with fruits, uppity architects and kiddie-fiddling peacefuls. And Owen Jones.
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Quite right Mr Cuntengine. What kind of minority doesn’t moan and groan and demand their rights? ( ie their right to have the right to tell the majority, who obviously have their rights, that their rights have to recognise that the minorities also have their rights and those rights need to be taken into account when the majority…….fuck it, i’m all confused now……)
The point is…….WE MUST STAY IN THE EU!
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You’ll be safe from liberalism as long as you don’t knock one out over a picture of Polly Toynbee
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Manchester: A year of hate crime on channel 4. Says it all in one sentence……English are racist cunts and the peacefuls are loving souls. As for the police, they have done me no favours……so fuck them.
7
And an article in The Telerag that made said newspaper sound alarmingly like The Groaniad…
Yes, HATE !!!
Slimes HATE infidels, they HATE Christianity, they HATE the west, they HATE the USA…
Maybe if the psychotic in-breds had a site called ISAQ (Is a Qunt), they could let off steam in a more intelligent fashion.
No, I thought not. Qunts they remain.
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And still we are taking more…..someone telling us something perhaps !
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According to the internet (covering myself there just in case) it appears that newt-buggering wanker Ken Livingstone has resigned from the labour party.
Obviously old fairy-dust-and-unicorns Corbyn wasn’t “firing squad minded” enough for him.
Because, Ken says, Venezuala’s “people’s paradise” is on it’s arse because they didn’t execute enough people.
Don’t ya just love the little cunt…
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Vile Jew hating newt shaggng cockwomble.
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Probably agreed to resign to save Catweasel being forced into expelling him and alienating Labour’s Muzzie anti-Semitic supporters and hard left.
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Always liked Ken’s chutzpah ™, if I didn’t like his politics. From here it looks as if he is guilty of precisely what ISACunters for the most part applaud, in one respect. And that is a willingness to challenge a faith group’s desire for special treatment. Wrong faith group, eh?
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