I have great hopes for the future of our nation when I see brain dead morons of a certain age wandering down the street wearing headphones.
The other day I was driving along minding my own business when some idiot in cans walked straight out in front of me. I slammed the brakes on and leant on the horn and managed to miss him – but he was totally oblivious to his surroundings and leaning on the horn was a complete waste of time. Now I like a bit of Led Zep at full volume, but I’ve got more sense than to cross the street wearing cans.
And how about those cans? Personally I use earphones with my iPod – when not walking down the street or crossing the road – but what’s it with these fucking great cans? I asked a snowflake what it was all about. Apparently it’s a fashion statement. When you pay £300 for a set of cans (what sort of cunt pays £300 for headphones anyway ???) you need to be seen to be wearing them. So that people know you’re important. And cool. And presumably financially as well as mentally challenged.
So next time you’re riding down the street on your £2,000 carbon fibre bike, remember to plug your £1,000 iPhone in to your £300 cans so people will know just how cool you are when they scrape your remains off the road.
Yes, I am greatly optimistic about the future of this country – because with luck we’ll finish off a few of the feckless brain dead fuckers before they can do too much damage! Or reproduce.
Cunts in cans. Darwin would be proud…
Nominated by Dioclese
It” s probably beyond reason to think the worthless little cunt actually, learned something, so the best we can reasonably hope for is that the brain dead, zombie snowflake wasn’t on his way to the polls to vote Labour.
🤕 🚗
11
Don’t they call this “Jay Walking” in the States. In NY if you twatter about like that you will get at the very least an earful from a cop, or even get shot.
In NY I saw a tourist ( British ) try to own a cop ( as they do hear and get away with it )
It did not end well for the tourist.
11
Shit….”Here ” not “Hear”
2
@Simple
It is indeed referred to as jaywalking and it’s illegal in a lot of municipalities. It is usually, a “ticketable” offense as opposed to an arrestable one.
With regard to trying to “own a cop”… NOT a good idea here in the states. First of all they carry guns. Secondly, many police officers have an attitude. (I don’t fault most of them because they deal with cunts all day long.)
Nonetheless, I think Dio should have hunkered down…put the peddle to the metal…and nailed the snowflake cunt.
Then as he lay in his coffin…waiting to meet his maker…and explain how he got killed because he was stupid…Dio could have lovingly leaned over and carefully placed the cans on his one remaining ear. (What’s left of the other one now adorns the bumper of the Diomobile.)
Imagine having to listen to Chopin’s Funeral March for all of eternity.
😈
8
We need Jay walking laws over here, mind you we need ‘a lot of other things’ from America brought to Britain.
I need to get some American pen friends to send me ‘gifts’ that US retailers can’t ship to me.
1
General – Whilst I agree that getting lippy with a cop here in Yankland is a losing proposition, I don’t support the notion that they’re decent law abiding people doing their best at a difficult job. All that ‘protect and serve’ is utter bollocks. No, they’re cops because they want a gun and a badge so they can push the rest of us around and get away with shit we couldn’t because we’re not cops. Not met a cop yet that runs contrary to that assessment. Not that I meet a lot of cops mind you.
Hey cop in your gay super turbo charged Dodge Camero Crown Victoria Impala wank machine, the speed limit applies to you just as much as it applies to me. Cunts!
4
Hey Bob, you should be defending the UK citizen’s inalienable right to jay walk to the death!
Btw, as you must be aware, I am a very young and naive cunter: what, might I ask, are these ‘gifts’ you mysteriously speak of that US retailers can’t ship to you?
Perhaps Cuntstable Cuntbubble should be informed…
1
Hey Fake Yank,
I don’t entirely disagree with you. That’s why I said most…not all.
I know a lot of cops…A LOT. Many of them are complete total and utter jerks. But I’d rather call them than the local Meth-head…or Crack Dealer…or Peaceful Goat Fucker.
However, your point is well taken. Perhaps I will offer a cunting of some well deserving Cop…like Philip “Mitch” Braisford.
Google this cunt but be advised…it isn’t for the faint of heart.
1
Survival of the fittest. (“My cans more important than me staying alive…”). Bring on them gravel-trucks !
And eventually they’ll cunt-transform into the can-Goddess Alexa…
Cunts cunts cunts fackin cunts cunts cunts !
2
Them things have been around for fuckn ages. I remember Lesley Judd on Blue Peter making some out of a squeezy bottlle a couple of wire coat hangers and some sticky back plastic so you could look like a fucking Cyber Man or a cunt. Still works to this day.
11
Now Lesley Judd………Hmmmmm…tasty in her day. Definitely.
7
Valerie Singleton! Lot of spunk spilled over thoughts of her…
6
You’re a strange chap Francis…
5
No!..Valerie Singleton….deelish ! I would even fuck her today !……..
1
Looks rather ropey now but bless her for those muslin tops and no bra
1
And those nipples…………
2
She fucked Peter Purvert, you know…
I sat next to him once at the theatre… no bodily fluids were exchanged… it was a performance featuring John Shuttleworth…
3
Lesley Judd – I remember her having the shakiest hands on TV when “making” stuff – most likely administer a cracking wank but those teeth – Jesus ! She could eat an apple through a tennis racket with them fuckers…
4
The cunts wearing cans whilst driving their car gets me. A veritable, cunting deathwish on four wheels.
8
Not to mention being totally illegal.
8
Why would any cunt not just put a stereo & speakers in the car instead?
But strange to wear them in car.
6
As Dio said…
All about fasion, innit.
And fashion REALLY is the true realm of the uber-cunt (cf. comments made previously about The Gizzard only wearing top-hole wimminz’ schmutter.
What a gimp.
0
I confess to owning a set of £15 Sony cans. When you’re a deaf cunt with hearing aids in both ears you can’t wear ear buds.
Apparently you can buy a box of tricks that links the aids by Bluetooth so you can use the aids as headphones. Unfortunately it costs £150.
I’ll stick with the £15 cans…but not in the street…!
6
Doppler went bust in Dec 17.
This is the device that Dio is referring to. £150 and works with NHS hearing aids.
https://www.connevans.co.uk/product/7842549/3OASTP13O/Oticon-Streamer-Pro-1-3A–open-version-
2
I’m sorry but anybody using the word “cans” , referring to headphones, are the same arseholes who talk about “movies” and “guys”……fucking Yank wannabes………………………….oh shit!
12
Spot on, Freddie…”Cans” indeed. I have an awful image now of various “Cunters” standing around in backward baseball caps,gold chains, “sneakers” and kegs hanging half way down their arse,”dissing” each others’ “cans” before high-fiving each other and going off for some fried chiggun.
14
You’ve been spying on me again Dick…
7
I too have respect for Dio, but calling headphones “cans” is a bit “street”, innit? Come on Dio, you’re better than that. 🙂
3
I use Beyer Dynamic DT100 “cans” when recording my stuff – Still found in virtually every recording studio worldwide and recognised as the best – Around the £110 mark.
Clueless snowflakes can always be persuaded to part with far more money for the trendiest cans, though, ’cause they’re daft cunts.
8
Grado RS2e over here.
Love the clarity and depth.
Wouldn’t dream of wearing them outside of the living room.
0
Spot on.
I was involved in some commercial (VERY small-scale) CD production until dosh evaporated, Beyers indeed the benchmark. Strictly in the privacy of my own home, have a soft spot for AKGs, but for own listening.
I have zero musical qualies, so when I was out “on the job” (I was a sort of “commissioning editor” – chose the music, the venue, paid all and sundry), I was strictly “hands off”; I let the pros do their stuff, no interference !
1
The really irritating thing about these cunts (not that their mere existence isn’t irritating enough) is their indignation of them almost clattering into you because they’re completely oblivious to their surroundings.
Yes that’s your fault folks!
I remember one particular incident where a flake in “full emersion” cans, in a parker (hood up) and in shades (yes you can feel cuntishness oozing from this one already) walked straight across the entrance to our work’s building without looking causing a “peaceful” taxi driver to short his Prius’ batteries with reclaimed braking energy as he slammed the anchors on.
The flake in question – with the sensory deprivation of Helen Keller – never even registered the fact and carried on.
The “peaceful” taxi bloke – you could see – was visibly shook up by the incident (probably due to not being insured or sharing the same driver’s license with 20 other drivers) but I have to admit I was shaking my head in agreement with him.
O’course had the cunt been hit by the taxi it would be all the drivers fault right? Wrong cos had that happened – peaceful or not – I’d have backed the cunt up against this imbecilic twat!
Full emersion cans, Pokamong Go, etc., it’s a wonder there’s any of the flake cunts left!
If they ever remake Watership Down it will be with these cunts instead of rabbits!
12
And who started this trend…….
Fucking Premier League footballers, in particular those fuckin boons……
No class and more money than sense, oh yes they can run alright but give ‘em a basic set of Meccanno and watch them try and eat it.
8
“Boons” I’m still laughing now. Fantastic.
5
Darwin would be proud but Malthus would be prouder. Thinning out the cretins.
5
Newsflash!
Ardent dyke Linda race bater Bellos possibly up in court for trabsphobia. This from someone e who owns a diversity training company and calls herself a diversity activist?
The left is self imploding.
6
Never thought I’d agree with anything Bellos said. Think she also takes the Germaine Greer line – ‘transgenders are not real women’. No wonder the left have gone apoplectic!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5692727/Labour-activist-Linda-Bellos-took-partys-trans-activists-questioned-police.html
5
When i was a cuntling if you saw some bugger walking towards you talking and grinning to himself you knew he was a loon and you took evasive action and crossed over the road thereby avoiding unwanted attention and possible bummery, now every fecker looks like a nutter.
7
Real “Cunts In Cans” for the more discerning Cunter…………..
https://youtu.be/fXrwW6qosBk
2
Ill take the one that’s working it please Mr Fiddler . Cheques in the post.
2
I have a pair of bluetooth phillips ‘cans’ that I use for gaming (Yeh, sorry, I’m one of ‘those’ cunts) but for out and about its earbuds all the way.
There is a place for reasonably priced cans nut it’s indoors with a good drink blasting imperial era Depeche Mode.
2
As long as you can Get The Balance Right.
I’ve seen them half a dozen times and they can still perform with a swagger.
0
It’s not just cunts with cans. It’s cunts with phones as well. Oblivious to their surroundings.
Cunts
7
Unfortunately, I can envisage a law being enacted that states something like –
“People using phones and headphones will be entitled to extra compo / protection. This is because they are entirely at liberty to behave like complete and utter ballbags who are totally without any sense of taking responsibility for their own cuntitude.”
I am now going to etch some glass with my superheated piss.
0
“Cans” – that takes me back. Was an early adopter. Me and me little oppo Charlie used to go out on the razzle with our cans. Couple orf Lyle’s Golden Syrup tins (bit sticky if not washed out but they had lids. No risk orf bloody lugs from jagged tin opening – no poncy ring pulls in my day) and a nice length orf taut twine. Would take it in turn to deliver content or enjoy the listening experiance. Tech wise not leading edge granted but amusement to be had by getting the twine to trail acrorss the pavement then pulling and snapping tight. Skill and judgement exercised and some old cunt caught acrorss the crotch. Good game. Better have it away sharpish.
5
Makes me think of a Vic Lewis-Smith tv review of a programme re prostitution, in particular, mis-spelt cards in phone boxes…
“No canning for me, thanks ! I might cut myself on the sharp edges.”
0
Those fuckers are annoying, but in my opinion, the worst ones are the cunts who wear head and earphones while driving. It seems to be a growing trend, certainly where I live, for people to listen to music via their Ipods or other devices. I mean, why? Apart from the fact you can’t hear anything, I’ve found that, when listening to music through earphones at the gym, I tend to go into my own little world. I’m completely oblivious to what’s going on around me. I can only assume the same happens with people who do it while driving. And that, is fucking dangerous.
Over the past three months, I’ve been cut up by dickheads who weren’t paying attention while behind the wheel, NINE times. And that’s not counting the cunt who pulled out from a side street last week, nearly causing me to drive straight into the side of his car as he blithely passed in front of me. I’ve been in plenty of cars over the years, and although they’ve come in various shapes, sizes and colours, they’ve all had one thing in common. They’ve ALL had a fucking stereo in them. And a lot of modern cars have a USB port, my DS3 certainly does. I’m sure there’s something in the highway code about being to able hear while driving. And if there isn’t, there fucking well should be. In fact, there should be a law against it. It’s just as dangerous as using a mobile phone, which IS illegal.
As far as zombies with cans go, I’m quite a big man, if someone walks across me while lost in their music, they have this mysterious habit of suddenly falling over. I don’t trip them up, or let them bounce of me, or anything like that. Honest.
10
Let’s hope they all get tinnitus, the annoying cunts.
I don’t get the busses or tubes anymore but it used to really wind me up having to listen to the tapping and hissing sound of some twat listening to shite music on his headphones.
Let’s hope natural selection thins the numbers.
6
Where I work I have a splendid view of a level crossing.
Every bastard time the thing goes off some dopey inbred bearded moron with his head up his arse and wires dangling from his taint wanders across because he didn’t see the lights or hear the fucking alarms.
They really are fucking hopeless and a decent cull would do the job of thinning these wasterels out
3
I’m just wondering could it be these cunts in cars are wearing these headsets as a method of handsfree telephone device and maybe not listening to music?
I would think it would be quite difficult to hear the sound of another cars horn for a start when the cunts fail to move on the lights changing to green?
2
Your so right Robster,,, You have uncovered a massive conspiracy… Clearly the Police must be implicated… they are sending secret signals from Max Factor to the unwilling recipient… how’s UKIP cracking on?? Still wondering why Farage got the Fuck out of Dodge? Ever wondered what it would be like to walk the walk rather than talk the talk.. You Can! Join the Military or Polis… if your an emotional Crying Cunt who is bottleless scared of doing his/her job but is happy fitting fire alarms and shopping on duty in Tesco, then best throw yourself off Beachy Head.. or join the fire brigade,,, Bell Enders……
2
What about cunts on cans?
Remember the days of ‘The Lager Lovleys’ where we had the pleasure of a bit of snatch on the side of the can to look at when you got fed up looking at her indoors disapproving face?
Those were the days, and then their was wonderful calendars to brighten up each month as you went through the year.
Where did they all go to?
When did the need for them cease?
Who decided that we didn’t need them anymore for us after having them for all them years?
Someone is sneaking all these things away from us piece by piece and I don’t recall being asked if I would rather have my workspace improved by a calendar with world war aircraft, steam trains or locks & bridges of Britains canals.
Was this in preparation for the ones that can’t resist the temptation of western women I wonder?
Cunts making too many decisions and assumptions for my liking without asking whats best. Cunts.
1