The School Run Mum

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I have recently been working from home so have inevitably been roped into the daily horror show shitfest of the school run. I have identified the prime vomit inducing cause of this evil phenomena and that is the School Run Mum.

To help you identify if you fall into this cuntish category answer these questions –

1. Do you drive a vehicle of such epic proportions that you find it impossible to perform simple manoeuvres? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

2. If all that someone can see of you while you sit in your road going version of an M1A1 Abrams is a pair of eyes straining to see over the steering wheel and possibly a bobble hat thrown in for good measure? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

3. Do you constantly talk drivel on the phone while you ferry your precious Darlings to the school gate? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

4. Do you limit your focus to the two feet of road immediately in front of your car and frequently find yourself the cause of blocking the entire fucking road? If yes then you are a cunt and possibly a School Run Mum.

5. Are you a woman with school age kids? You are certainly a cunt and a school run mum.
If you have scored any more than 2 on this test then you are a monumental cunt, for the good of society as a whole, should prepare a bottle of whiskey and loaded revolver and do the right thing.

Nominated by Proper Cunt

62 thoughts on “The School Run Mum”

  1. It’s their self entitlement that winds me up, no consideration of other road users. All in brand new PCP funded fake 4×4 shite like Kias, Hyundais etc . Park anywhere they like so the kids don’t have to walk that extra 2yards but cause fucking chaos by doing that, drive at you to get through the gap you have considerately left for say an oncoming bus to get through.
    You’d think after dropping Polly or Tarquin off she’d be a little more relaxed, but no its like the wacky races to get to work, get to the fucking gym or get home to get ready for a personal ‘workout’ with Big Winston.
    Cunts.

    • Not only are the SRMs self-entitled cunts, their cuntish progeny are too, having inherited this from their parents. Not a thought or tuppenny toss for other people, they are so self-absorbed and solipsistic their world is the three feet around them and nothing or on-one else matters.

      I had the misfortune to experience this first hand yesterday, pushing in front of my mum to get some sweets off a shelf in the supermarket. (They were off school, natch.) My mum said nothing, except when she got to the checkout and bent the ear of the cashier. To my horror she also told her that I was a really good and polite son for taking her out shopping on such a vile day. I’m 59 and was totally embarrassed by this; but I wouldn’t push in front of an old lady to get my bag of haribo for all the tea in China.

    • Not at the school nearest to me (where most of the cunts eventually qualify with one qualification – an ASBO).

      The majority of them make Cathy Burke’s Waynetta Slob look hot (most can’t even be arsed to put a tracksuit on in deference to the dressing gown/PJs look), and those that are passable have usually had more cock than Bernard Matthews and are grandmothers at 28!

      There’s nothing more heart-warming than seeing “Our Kylie!” and “Howay our Kai!” dawdling behind their Brunhilde mater with her nighty blowing around like a galleon at full sail on the school “walk” – before retiring to a hard day on the couch, getting through the 4 litres of White Lightening and 40 Rothmans (picked up en-route via the nearest “Harry Hindus”), all paid for by the British taxpayer!

      Mind you I’d still have it go to them to piss up the wall than to a bunch of freeloading “peaceful” cunts!

  3. Lazy little bastards should make their own way to school ( and everywhere else ) instead of being ferried about by their soft as shit parents.
    No wonder we have a generation of snowflakes who can’t think for themselves and need everything done for them.
    When I was that age I would have died rather than be dropped off at school……everyone would have thought I was a mummy’s boy poof and given me serious stick. Kids these days are just cunts, made that way by their cunt parents.

  4. Women shouldn’t be driving. End of. Even more so if they’re some hormonal,on the rag “full-time Mummy.” Lazy tarts too idle to get properly dressed and walk their obese squealing piglets to school,they load them into some oversized car that their poor husband has to pay for for,and set off with no concept of road etiquette. They then just stop,not park,and stand around the school gates,smoking and updating their twatterbook,before pulling straight out into the traffic…”Mirror,signal,manoeuvre?”..not for these hopeless bints…just pull out and to fuck with everyone else. I assume that these women have a different driving test to men,that enables them to pass by just demonstrating an ability to deep-throat a gearstick.
    I take great delight in going out in a large tractor and watching their panicked faces when forced to either reverse or drive into the verge, as I advance on them,headlights flashing and horn tooting….although to be fair to the women,I’ve done the same to their husbands and got pretty much the same terrified reaction. It’s the ones who are incomers that I target. They take their little darling to a nearby private school,and seem to think that their weird children getting to some la-di-da dance class,or whatever,takes precedence over me driving slowly along the backroads. We’ll see about that.

    Fuck them.

    • Mirror, is to check makeup.

      Signal, as in virtue. Oh ya ya it’s terrible the plight of the rosingdra Muslim in Bangladesh, they really should do something…

      Manoeuvre. Fingers around the touchscreen or keypad of whatever device they are holding in order to update Twatter a of FaecesBook.

      As for reversing I barely see a cunt on the road of either sex that knows how to do it these days. Fuck only knows how they pass the test.

      • Understand the peacefuls usually pay someone else with driving experience to take the test for them. After all it is difficult to tell one from the other when their faces are covered.

        Once was given a lift of approximately half a mile by a middle aged peaceful lady. How the fuck we arrived there safely is still a mystery to me. Completely bewildered at what to do at a roundabout. Refused to get in her car again. Fucking horrible huge Chevrolet people carrier with gashes and scratches down both sides. Should have realised.

        The same woman that complained to me that post Brexit se felt uncomfortable about wearing her facial attire. When I suggested to her perhaps shethink about wearing western style clothing told me she did not see why she should have to.

        Was secretary to my sons badminton club. My son trains with a fantastic player who at 12 had already represented England. Same pushy Peaceful mother asked if her sons could join them. Said I would ask. Anyway he said no and I told her this. She then asked me for his number, which I obviously refused to give her as he is at 12 a minor and he has already given her his answer. Later the same evening she asked his older brother for the number! No fucking respect or manners.

        Sorry, rant over.

    • I have seen you, you cunt. Traffic behind your tractor-and-wurzel-grinder, stretching back 5 miles, well past the field from which you emerged half an hour ago, leaving much of it on the road as it detached from your knobbly tyres in chunks. Every rush hour.

      While I certainly appreciate your efforts re. the school run, applaud them even, I think you and your like are seriously overdue a cunting.

      Mind you, I’m impartial on this, as I can usually get past the queue and you on the m/c.

    • Icke has an interesting forehead – has he been clawed by a lizard perhaps?

    • Just watched/listened.

      Have to say thought him somewhat strange back in the day, ‘ the son of the godhead’ and all that lizard and flat earth bollocks.

      However listen to enough of his theories and apply a non MSM and leftish teaching approach to what he is saying and there is truth in the global political class, the one world order etc etc.

      This particular piece is spot on and everyone should listen. The dissection of Cuntbin and his turncoat political view is first class.

      Uncunted by me, if even if he’s sporting a Beardy Branson mullet hairstyle.

    • I’d like to see Icke given equal time with Blair on the BBC. That would be a lot of time, but hopefully the two cunts would annihilate each other in a quantum media event.

  6. Do you perform a 3 point turn on a blind bend crowded with parked cars without warning or indication? You are a school-run mum.
    Do you double park, with doors wide open blocking the road and pinning other vehicles in? You are a school run mum.
    Do you suddenly pull out from the wrong side of the road without indicating? You are a school run mum.
    Do you then tailgate all the way to work because you are in such a hurry, and tailgating always gets you there quicker, doesn’t it? You are a school run mum.

    If I am cunt enough to drive past the village school at 8.45 am this is what I see. Every time.
    Accurately cunted.

  7. Spot on proper cunt, excellent choice , and very appropriate with the current weather!
    These are the cunts who continually bleat about road safety, yet park outside schools in such fucking numbers ( and on both sides ) that little Johnny a) can’t see HIS mum for all the other fuckers b) Mum can’t see little Johnny for all the other fuckers.
    Access for other users is stopped until all those fucking trucks leave, and fuck help any blue light trying to get past.
    Now then, to the meat. Why in fuck do women on the school run gather in gaggles to yap senseless shite AFTER picking up little Johnny, oblivious to the fact that the little cunt is now running around cars and onto the road in a game with his chums? They stand around yapping long long after school comes out, and then, when they have finished, it is a fucking mad escape job with 20 fucking big trucks all leaving together en masse.

    Never in my day as a kid. We fucking walked in all weather!

    School runs! A pile of unecessary cunt

    • Totally agree – usually walk the little fuckers to school myself but occasionally have to drive which ends up with my piss boiling and the entire fucking day ruined. Due to the mayhem outside the school caused by the other cunting parents the danger to life is comparable to taking a stroll around Aleppo.

      Also, do these women even realise that there is a gear option included for free called ‘Reverse’ because I have never seen one of the cunts use it.

  8. My Dad only got his full driving licence after I’d left school, so I occasionally had to suffer the indignity of being dropped off in his Reliant Regal, the saloon version of Del Boy’s shitty little van.

    Walking was preferable unless it was pissing down…

  9. imagine the letter T! ok this is a daily scenario for me, tarquine lives about 60 meters down a side road, the bus stop is a further 15 meters down the main road.
    Every day “Daddy” loads his precious cargo into his porsche cainne (or whatever the fuck it is, its one of those 4X4’s that’s too expensive to go off road).
    Any way twat face pulls straight on to the road drives up to the bus, puts his hazards on, tarquine skips to the bus and daddy executes the most cuntish 6 point turn in the road with his hazards on and fucks off home.
    Ditto the local school (15k per term), a total cunt fest of black suv’s driven by dim whits who think that there is a section in the highway code that says ” It is only acceptable to drive in the middle of the road/ or wrong side of the road against on coming traffic providing that you are smiling and waving at them whilst doing so” fortunately some of the better parents have helicopters so I don’t have to deal with them.

  10. on a sub note, I would like to cunt my nephew who I dropped off at school once.
    I pulled up outside where plod was, the little fuck jumped out the door, knocked my sword bayonet out the car on to the road, didn’t shut the door and fucked off!

    (I had been at his parents slaughtering and butchering an unfortunate animal I don’t normally drive round with foot long blades in my car)

    • You make it sound as if the unfortunate child was making a desperate escape attempt, Lord B.

      (just kidding)

    • Sword bayonet? Christ. What’s wrong with an Opinel? Bar splitting the beast, you can do the lot with one of those.

      • I learnt to slaughter abroad, (in a little besiged village in a war) one way was using the old m48 bayonet, was to stab the pig in the heart and let it bleed out, the better more effect way was to twat the pig over the head with a club hammer and stab through the neck and cut forward, that ripps out all the arteries and the wind pipe, very effective.
        you need a long blade.

  11. We live opposite a private school. Many of the vehicles used to drop the spoiled brats off are 4×4’s, and which many have orivate number plates.

    The council in their infinite wisdom have designated a drop off zone approximately 300 metres from the school however in a side road (the road in which we live) however this is clearly far too far away for the little darlings to walk so they stop Immediately opposite the school on the main road, causing congestion and delays for others, it often takes quite a while to unload the little fuckers as they seemingly have much sports stuff to collect from the back of the car. The parents obviously think this is ok, as never a fucking apology for the chaos they cause, just the hazard warning lights making everything ok.

    Collected my son from the local school on Thursday afternoon (he usually walks or cycles the 1.6 miles home however decided to treat him to a lift) as he had a lot to carry on that particular day.

    Parked immediately behind another waiting car, our two cars both considerately parked and legally, leaving enough space and not blocking the driveways to both of the houses we were in front of. A woman with a tiny brain but large vehicle then decided that she would park immediately in front of mr, not only blocking me in with the car behind (not allowing me enough room to manoeuvre forwards or backwards) but also totally blocking the driveway to one of the houses.

    Unbelievable, unthoughtful and a couldn’t give a fucking shit attitude from a female halfwit.

    Agree with the nomination entirely.

    • That’s nothing!

      Cunt parked on my drive in front of my garage, blocking my car in which, unbelievably, was actually in the garage. I gave her a mouthful.

      “There’s nothing in the garage so what’s the problem?” so I opened the door and pointed at the car. “What’s this then? Scotch fucking mist?!?”

      “Well it’s your own fault because there’s nowhere else to park”

      Never their fault is it? She came back to four flat tyres.

  12. My next door neighbour is blonde late 30,s and you must definitely would!!
    She drives her kids to school in the mandatory Hove tank (4×4)
    I’m unsure as to her road crimes but considering the schools a 5 minute walk that alone qualifies her for a mention on this most illuminating post!!
    5 fucking minutes!!! And even stranger she’s a keep fit fanatic? Go figure…………

  13. News from the Home Front

    Two men from East Anglia are to be charged with “Conspiracy to Cause Explosions” in connection to the explosion earlier this week in which several people died.

    This is NOT a terrorist matter, the making of bombs is a non terrorist act.

    The Police re-iterate, the men were from EAST ANGLIA.

    This is NOT a terrorist Act.

    The Dead are simply unintentional collateral damage.

    Police wish to remind extremely predjudiced people, that those arrested are form EAST ANGLIA

    • And yet the Paul Moore case (please note the name explicitly mentioned by every news outlet going) – another feckless cunt of the Darren “cunt” Osborne mould – gets the full “terrorist”, “hate crime”, “Islamaphobe” treatment, whose prosecution as a “terrorist” is welcomed by local Imams.

      What a fucking surprise!

      Leicester – where the explosion occurred – is a very “peaceful” area, and normally your archetypal coward “peaceful” bomb-maker cunt doesn’t shit on their own doorstep, so I’m reticent to assume that the perpetrators, and the “East Anglian” arrests are “peaceful”.

      But then again the conflict is that news agencies – why, I don’t know – will do everything in their power to not mention names, infer religion or immigration status when the cunts are “peaceful”.

      Like I say, had it been a couple of hated middle-aged white men who’d accidentally stood on a “peaceful’s” toe, then their names would be plastered everywhere, linked to neo-Nazi sites (i.e. the read the Daily Mail once), decried as terrorist and hung by media for a week long period!

      Also statements by the likes of Sir Peter Soulby (Leicester Arabia Mayor) such as: “We can definitely say it was not terror related.” – has connotations of “you deny too strongly my friend” to make me wonder.

      Well we now know that this was no “gas explosion”, nor was it “accidental”.

      If the perps are “peaceful” then it definitely won’t be terrorism.

      If the perps are Afro-Carribean then it definitely won’t be drugs related or yardie-boy tit-for-tat related.

      And if the perps are EU eastern bloc dregs scum then it definitely won’t be immigration related.

      Only if they are hated middle-aged white men will it be a terrorist hate-crime organised by right-wing fanatics.

      • I live there and it’s around 20% peaceful but it has definitely turned into a complete shithole even in my lifetime. Some local peaceful organisation wants these types of offence to be classed a race, religion, you name it, hate crime. I pointed out in the online paper how fucking quiet these cunts are when it’s one of their own blowing up innocent people.

    • East Anglia? Somewhere near Upton perhaps?

      Leicester is a shithole full of Asians chucked out of Uganda by Idi Amin. My family originates from there. It’s unrecognisable these days as the place they used to know. So bad that my ultra-moderate cousin has become a rampant right wing extremist. Bit rich really as he’s married to a Pole.

      • Amin had a reason for chucking them out. We should have thought long and hard about that.

    • And funnily enough within 10 seconds of the explosion the old bill were saying “its definitely not terrorist related” fucking psychic now stupid pull the wool over our eyes cunts.

      • An early press report said that it was an illegal still that had exploded. That has now disappeared from the police website, and has been replaced with “2 men from East Anglia are to be charged with conspiracy to cause explosions ” When one brews liqour you set out to make a product. Not to blow yourselves up. The whole fucking issue is a desperate attempt to cover inadequecy in the system.

        As you rightly say goodwoodone, the cops struggle “psychic” is the word.

  14. Police wish to reming bigots, that a deep suntan does not denote anything of note.

  15. Great nom.

    I was working by a school in teddington a couple of years ago.
    I pulled up, turned off the engine, opened the door …

    bang.

    Van jolts forward.

    Look behind to see a stupid woman in a Porsche tank and 3 kids in the back. She apologised and I begrudgingly accepted seeing as there wasn’t any damage.

    Come out at the end of the day and the front bumper is damaged as some cunt had crashed into the front of my van.
    That’s the last time I ever parked my van near a school. I’d rather walk half a mile with my tools and drills in tow than risk my van getting fucked by these idiotic twats.

    School mum’s are cunts.

    They should start schooling kids by virtual reality or something.

    • I’m sure they will be inducted/brainwashed by a Jezza Corbyn hologram on the school curriculum soon. Blair cunt was about 10 years out.

  16. When I was a kid anyone being taken to school in a car would be beaten to a pulp at playtime for being a softy, quite right too. My grandsons walk as did my kids, does em good to get some exercise first thing.

    • Quite right too JTC. We are raising a nation of unfit, self entitled little fuckers. I’m glad to see you being the exception to the norm.

  17. The school mum cunts around my way are a joke.
    They do the usual thing pf driving the kids 200 yards to school time after time.
    We have a recreation ground behind our house and the other day I was walking the dog across it mid morning when I saw this….
    On one part of the rec’ there is a concrete basketball court. On it was approximately 10 of these school run mums doing some kind of weird keep fit session which consisted of a CD player blasting out some shit n*gger moozic (innit) and they were trotting, very slowly I might add up and down pushing EMPTY pushchairs while being ‘encouraged to keep going’ by another mum. It was hysterical. I’ve never seen so much sweat and wobbly lyrcra in my life. I laughed out loud. Couldn’t help it. They weren’t happy but never mind.
    We have a Naval estate just about 100 yards up the road and they come from there I think. If they actually walked somewhere occaisionally, perhaps their arses wouldn’t be so big.
    On the subject of The Forces, why is it that all male service personnel always seem to carry at least one of their kids on their shoulders whenever they’re out.?

  18. ‘On the subject of The Forces, why is it that all male service personnel always seem to carry at least one of their kids on their shoulders whenever they’re out.?’

    It’s no longer PC to put them in a bergen?

  19. Firstly let me admit to a very deep seated and sincerer loathing of children. Consequently I have never had one and had a vasectomy just in case some cunt tried it on. As a result I’m not particularly well informed about all things child related but it seems to me that people have to actually live near a school for their child to attend said school. I think they call it catchment area or something. If that is indeed the case then anyone employing a motor vehicle to transport child to said school and home again is a prima facie cunt and remains such until they are proven otherwise.

    However, I would hesitate to blame the mothers of the hateful little cunts for the cuntishness. The cuntitude, I would contest lies squarely at the feet of the fathers for it is they who almost certainly provided the financial means required for the purchase of the Chelsea tractor in question. Indeed, I have anecdotal evidence attesting to the veracity of this proposition for I had an ex work colleague who would buy his EX FUCKING WIFE a brand new cunting Land Rover every 3 years for the sole purpose of transporting his loathsome spawn to school. And he thought it was perfectly justifiable. So, in this instance, who is the cunt?

    • Where we live it is about catchment area, and how close you live to the school.

      The fact that your other children have attended that school and that you have lived in the same house for 25 years and paid into the system for the whole o that tie accounts for fuck all.

      Any Easyern Europeans or peacefuls who have just come out of the benefits office will automatically go ahead of you in the queue if they live (or rent) closer to the school than you do, regardless of whether the children or parents can speak the language.

      A brutal and unfair system wide open to abuse and to piss off totally the local residents who do not want the aforementioned fuckers here in the first place.

      In our case had to go to appeal to get our son into his local school, where both of his sisters attended. Four out of 190 appeals were successful, our son thankfully being one of the four.

      In my experience the private schools where we are are for the posh well off, with tons of Chinese (who board). Poorer Chinese kids and peacefuls take up the majority of grammar school places and the Eastern Europeans and the rest of the whites families fight for what is left.

  20. Most of our maters would have been at work so we had no choice to walk, and as was pointed out by Jack The Cunter, getting a lift was for softcocks.
    Strange that the yummy mum on the school run is a thing for this day and age when the split arse tarts are pissing and moaning about equality.
    Get a fuckin office cleaning job….. Split arse…..

  21. I saw one of those people carrier things things,full to the gunwales with little sand-bunnies,driven by something in one of those full-body binbags. Male or female,I know not,but there was no way that it could have had full vision peeping out of a little slot in the cloth… Imagine the horror had it crashed,the benefits office would have been on overtime.

    • Not just that, but can you imagine trying to drive if you cleaned a letterbox shaped hole in the snow on your windscreen? Plod would be all over you immediately but these bastards drive like that all the time!

  22. The thing that really boils my piss more than anything; is blocking my van in so I can’t get out. Fuck sake have some manners you cunts! NOT only dose the parking piss me off; it’s the endless sweet rappers I find in my garden from the little shits. Teach your kids to not litter and maybe the roads where I live wouldn’t be full of empty cans and food wrappers. If you teach them young they won’t become the next generation of rubbish throwing chav motor driving cunt!

  23. You’re right, they are as annoying as fuck. But there is a category of school run parent even worse than the school run mum. The school run Muslim. My mother lives about 300 yards from a primary, mostly populated by adherents of “THE Religion of Peace”. Five days a week, they turn up to drop off and pick up their progeny, and they do not give a flying fuck where they park. The park on BOTH sides of the rode, often so far up on the pavement that most pedestrians have to walk on the road to get past. I say most, because I and several other people who walk past at that time are quite happy to shout at the dumb muzzie fuckers who commit what is a parking offence. And they will also quite happily block the road by parking right in the middle of it, just to drop their little future terrorists off.

    Unsurprisingly, plod won’t do anything, especially when they find out who the offenders are. I find kicking the car usually provides sufficient incentive to fuck off, after some threats and swearing in Urdu, (yes, I speak Urdu. Learned in the Army. I consider muslims an enemy, and it’s important to know what the enemy is saying). You should see the looks on their faces when an insult is hurled at them in their own language.

    Only once has one of these ignorant assholes ever tried to follow through on a threat, and he soon got back in his car when he realised that I’m six feet three and was perfectly willing to fight him. Since the school, and even the local Labour council won’t do anything, there is little choice. Either the rest of us start damaging cars, or we take another, longer route to get where we’re going.

    Tensions are rising, especially the people who live next to the school, are inconvenienced twice a day by these pricks. The best of it is, there’s a large leisure centre right across the road from the school, who have told parents that they use their car park while picking up and dropping off. None of the ignorant fuckers has taken them up on that offer.

    • Why not buy a £100 shed of a car using a false name and fucking total it in the middle of the road before drop off time and leave it there to rot for a while.

      It would both fuck the cunts up while making them feel right back at home in whatever peaceful shithole country the cunts came from especially if you decorated the area with trash, dead animals and faeces. If they fucked off from it all before maybe they would fuck off again and make a beeline for the land specialising in gas and ovens and say Hi to Angela. A double win for Blighty.

      • Slightly off-topic, but…
        I always wanted to get an old Austin Cambridge, or a Maxi, and fill the bumpers, panels &c. up with concrete, and then just ram twats off the road.

        But I considered that with all the extra padding, it might only do about 5 to the gallon.

  24. Can anyone tell me how you get a photo on IAC please instead of the cartoon picture were given ????

    • I’ll try..
      Go to wordpress.com and open an account. It then takes you through how to use a “gravitar”..I was a bit baffled about how to upload a picture,so just took a screenshot of it and doctored it using the wordpress instructions.
      I’m a Luddite,so it took me a while,but I guess anyone with a better knowledge of computers would find it fairly easy. I didn’t.

      Good luck.

  25. A old wesh philospher called dai dodgeyknees once said” build me a car without indicators and no stearing wheel but with a massive horn and fuckwits shall inherit the earth”cunts one and all

  26. My school run was mother calling get ready for school and banging me shoes on the floor until she came up and tore the bed clothes off and opened the windows but being lucky as junior school lad and living next to the school there was hole in the fence or if we were lucky me and my mucker would jump on the milkfloat and nick a bottle
    and the teachers were veterans from ww2 and the best and i still love rice crispies with milk

  27. My daughter always cries when she see’s it’s me that is picking her up from school cos she knows she has to fucking walk home hahahahahahaha we only live a 15 minute stroll from the school ffs
    I’d rather cut my bollocks off than deal with that cunt fest

  28. The only thing these cunts do with any success is get cocked behind their hubbies backs.

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