Modern slang

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Modern phrases that grind your gears and make you want to kill.

I think we can all contribute to this thread as there are so many of them. My current favourite is “My Bad”. A work colleague said that to me the other day by way of an apology for her fuck up.

I just wanted to grab her around the throat and say:
“Listen Mrs, you are a 55 year old white Englishwoman….. you are not a south central Los Angeles gangbanger wearing an oversized white t-shirt, a reverse baseball cap with your strides hanging halfway down your arse and you never fucking will be, Stop being “down with the kids” ( another expression that pisses me off ) and act your fucking age before everyone realises you are a thick as shit cunt.”

But I didn’t. Over to you Ladies and Gentlemen.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

My Bad? You axe me? Mah homies? Nucular?
Hand me the fucking flamethrower Martha and fire up the woodchipper.

Scenes from Aliens and Fargo dance in my head whenever I hear the movie stars, rap shit and worst of all ‘Mericunt politicians talking like this on the TV.

Movie stars you can forgive a bit ‘cos they only read what some other dipshit has written,rap stars ‘cos they can’t read or write. You just can’t forgive politicians because they’re all cunts anyway and probably say it on purpose to get the moron vote.

Don’t even get me started on the Sports Commentators who say ” they podiumed again this year” or “they were expecting to medal”
I’d run out of fuel before I got finished !

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

I would like to nominate for a cunting the buzz words and phrases used by the liberals and the leftie right on snowflakes, there are probably dozens of the fuckers.

Some of them hit my wind up button, for instance , ‘community’ when used by councils and social workers, ‘inappropriate’ used to end a discussion and uncomfortable, how the twats feel when they don’t like your views. Even typing them has made me annoyed.

Oh yes ‘campus’ – a school near me is titled as a “community fucking campus” what the fuck is wrong with “school”. Community champion is another phrase winds me up.

Nominated by Civvydog

135 thoughts on “Modern slang”

  1. Another one that makes me mad are people who give you the “finger” as its know by your American, i was on the receiving end of it the other day, i stopped what i was doin and asked the “fingeree” if they were a yank , no was the answer. I said we have enough of our own home grown insults without importing them, if your goin to insult me give me the V up for fuck sake.

    • I agree civvydog, just what is this middle finger alleged insult supposed to represent? Presumably it is supposed to be phallic, thus doing this gesture to another bloke, just what does it mean? I want to shove my cock up your arse? Ooooo look at my finger isn’t it impressive?

      Guess it is something only poofters can identify with.

      It is meaningless to me, apparently it is quite popular over here in BG

  2. This used to irritate me too, adding trendy, flavour-of-the-month words like ‘bodacious’ and ‘dench’ (for fuck’s sake!).

    I subsequently discovered that they quietly remove these fuckwitteries after a year or so and, consequently, normality is resumed.

  3. Cunts…usually young cunts….punctuating their every other word with the word ‘like’

    I.e, ‘So, I was like, and then she’s all like, and then he’s like’ etc.

    You’re not ‘like’ anything. You either are a thing, or you’re not. You imbecilic millenial cunt.

  4. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I have used ‘my bad’ recently. Who will absolve me? It just shows how all-pervasive the debasement of the language has become. I am a guilty cunt, and I shall try to mend my ways. But at least I avoid these:

    You are giving a speech or presentation, or answering a question. There is no connection between the topic and any preceding thoughts of yours. Your first word is: “So..”
    You are a cunt.

    You believe “I was like…” to be more concise than “I said”. You are a cunt. And a braindead cunt if you use “like” to fill a gap in your thought processes better occupied by thinking.

    You think “woke” is an adjective. You are a cunt.

    You turn nouns into verbs – eg ” to parent: parenting”. You are a cunt, a lazy cunt who doesn’t know how to use the language, and an Americunt.

    Gaaah. Cunts.

    • “Going forward”. Cunt. Try: ” we will maximise our brand loyalty while implementing best practice going astern” -inscribing it on a brick and sticking it up your cunt jacksie.

      • “The way forward”…

        Much loved by some bank managers in the early nineties.

        BMs for whom the only way forward, IMHO, was head first, at speed through a plate glass window…

  5. “How do you do?”
    “I’m good.”
    “I was not asking about your morals. I was asking about your health.”

    It’s nice to know I am not alone, keep up the good work, folks.

  6. I once threw a file (engineering, second-cut, not ringbinder) at the senior NCO in charge of me, for inserting ‘in actual fact’ in his stream-of-consciousness every thirty seconds.

    When charged, the officer remarked that he could understand my point and I got off with an admonition.

  7. Is there a fault with the java scripts or cookies? I just posted a comment and it appeared under another thread.

  8. These dumb folk are okay though. They never seem to use stupid words and if they did, I wouldn’t understand their finger gymnastics anyway.

  10. Modern English can be defined as the art of speaking a lot whilst saying nothing.

  11. You dissing me fam?
    Come round my hood and my bluds pop a cap in yo black ass innit?

  12. This corporate hipster cuntspeak climbs on my cock as well. Usually these bubble-living narrowminded office cunts who vanish to the toilet and wank at high speed over the Ryman catalogue. What I’ve noticed with a lot of these young affluent daddy’s girls ie Jacinta Harriet Fortnum Smythe and chinless cunts like that, is they seem to have their own coded language? “Ok yah, well and oh my god that was like so not right”. What the flamegrilled fuck is that and what does it mean? Stop being a cunt and speak clearly. Raping plain English in the arse with a chainmailled fist is a cuntish thing to do. Another one which makes me laugh is this current craze for calling fat-arsed girls in the US “thick”, because apparently they think it’s the word to describe their build? No…the word means someone who’s duller than a 1 Watt bulb with an IQ comparable to a blob of shit on the stairs.

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