Infantile Language

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I’d like to nominate Infantile Language,except when used by small children ,of course.

If I hear another grown woman talking about her “boobies” or “tummy” or one of the cunts in my office having another “chocky bicky”I won’t be responsible for my actions.

I was on a train this afternoon and there was a tannoy announcement “if you see something that doesn’t look right call the British Transport Police”. Well, the bloke sitting opposite had eyes too close together and somebody else was wearing trousers that were a bit short on the leg. Should I have rung the cunts up or not?

I’m sure the announcement used to talk about noticing something suspicious. Presumably this is too complicated and long a word for some of our blue haired tie-dyed legging wearing friends.

Nominated by Mary Hinge

57 thoughts on “Infantile Language”

  1. There was an advert on the telly saying if you see or hear anything suspicious to call the police immediately, and they had a peaceful looking person acting out the role of a do gooder calling the authorities, cunts!!!! asif

    • Like I say if your house is being burgled, or car being stolen don’t say your “John Smith” cos they won’t come out. You’ll be luck to get an incident number to tell your insurers!

      Put on a nasilly, abrupt, superior twang and tell them you’re “Mohamed Al Mohamed” and they’ll be out in nowt flat.

      The reason is that plod – from Cresida Dickless down – are so fearful of negative publicity from the “peaceful” terrorist sector of British Society that they will do anything and go the extra 2,000 miles in order to appease the cunt’s every whim.

      Any non-“peaceful” doesn’t matter as far as they’re concerned and if any non-“peaceful” were to complain about this disparity of service/commitment then the modern, neo-liberal, powers that be would simply shrug that off as being racist and probably threaten the dissenter in question with a public order offence.

      Merry 1984 everyone!

    • Off topic, Clint Eastwood has allegedly stated that Political Correctness has weakened society.Tell it like it is Harry! Like you once said,’When I see a naked man chasing a woman with a meat cleaver in one hand and a hard on in the other,I figure he ain’t collecting for the Red Cross.’ Class.

  2. Agree 100%… Also, people who actually speak in ‘texting’ are fucking cunts… Tossers who actually say ‘Lolz’ ‘Ell Emm Eff Oh’ ‘Oh Emm Eff Gee’ ‘Hugz’ ‘Meh’ and suchlike are complete wankers…

    Also twats (and usually always thick wimmin) who use the word ‘rape’ so flippantly (as in ‘They totally raped my credit card!’ or ‘Hey! Stop raping my Maccy-Dees fries!’) are also cunts of the highest order…

    • It’s yet another way of pandering to the lowest common denominator. God forbid anyone should be oppressed by having to learn a new word or how to spell a word correctly. Ickle pwinces and pwincesses can’t be subjected to that can they?. Festering pile of old cunt.

    • Reminds me of the tart who goes into a police station and says “Officer, I’ve been graped”.
      PC says ” Madam, the word is raped”.
      Tart says “No, there was a bunch of them”.

  3. At least the GMP did that in Manchester in 96… They more or less told everyone ‘Irish cunts have put a big fuck off bomb outside the Arndale… Now get the fuck out of here now!’

    But that was a year before Blair, of course… Into Eden comes the Serpent, as they say…

    • I remember the days when any cunt with an Irish accent was profiled as a potential bomber. Any cunt with mutton chops AND and Irish accent was almost certainly going to get his collar felt for a few questions, and any cunt with mutton chops, Irish accent and a navvy jacket was simply shot.

      How times change.

      • Good to see your name amongst the posters again, Mike. Don’t be a stranger! Cheers – I.Y.

      • We still know in the current climate who the criminals are, there’s a list so big that the government can’t keep track of them all and they can’t enter their “establishments” to see what they are up to, by order of their superiors.

        Imagine if you had a drugs factory going on in your house, wakening in the morning to a phone call from your area police commander telling you that a couple of his boys will pop round after three o’clock for a look around and a chat?

        As for when you discover that Abdul down the corner shop is trying to bribe the kids with sweets or booze, don’t bother calling the police with your “racist comments”, they are too busy to bother with busy, hard working shopkeepers.

  5. The ones that really piss me off, and it might be because they are frequently used by mega-cunt J.O’Shithead, are:
    Chrimbo , and
    Holibobs
    Fuck, just typing that has made me want to punch some cunt in the face.

  7. Fortunately most people I know (apart from my next door neighbour) would be offended if I called them a ‘cunt’ or told them to ‘fuck off’. Why would you wish it any different? They’d just be meaningless noises otherwise.

  8. It’s not just language that is being infantilised,it’s every aspect of life. We are being subtly conditioned to believe that decisions are just too complicated for us to make alone,better to listen to Big Sister. She knows best.
    This gradual removal of our ability to consider ourselves capable of issuing a firm “No” when faced with something we disagree with is important to our Betters.How much easier to dominate a people who mentally consider themselves subservient to the Rulers,than a people who used to glory in their sheer awkwardness and ability to undermine and subvert the pomposity of our would-be Leaders.
    As the older generation is replaced by the conditioned generation,more and more civil liberties will be quietly removed until “The People” have lost their own individuality and are more akin to some brainwashed cult members waiting to be told how to live every aspect of their lives.
    Fuck them.
    (Amazing how I deduced all this from a reference to “Choccy biccies and tummies” eh? Conspiracy theory behind every bush?…Too fucking right.)

    • Nah Fiddler ,you’re spot on

      heard some cunt on a radio phone in recently saying people who voted leave in the referendum were , “sorry to say ” ( his words ) a bit thick and uneducated….

      he then went on to say this beauty when asked if he agreed with an EU army/parliament/flag/anthem/monetary fund etc etc

      I don’t know about anything like that , that’s why I elect my MP to make those decisions for me……

      totally sums up your point…. spoon fed to believe anyone who says NO is dangerous whilst unaware of just how subservient they have become themselves

      total cunts

      oh , and were not dying off that fast either you fucks

    • The evil confectionary megalomaniac of Mr Kipling with his itsy bitsy Viennese Whirls, what a bastard.

    • Funnily enough I was listening to the “Brave New World” serial on ABBC iPlayer radio app.

      Written in 1931 by Aldous Huxley, it’s amazing how the neo-liberal (fascist) flake society parallels that fictional dystopian society. In fact if you were to show it to the neo-liberal (fascist) flake society they’d probably assume it was a manual!

      Control how people think and you control the (Brave New) world!

      Or George Soros’ world as I call it! Interfering old globalist cunt!

      Pity the cunt wasn’t so conscientious when he was “ray-ping” the financial system ahead of the various crashes that subsequently ensued! Cunt!

      • Can’t say we weren’t given adequate warning:

        H.G. Wells (1895) – The Time Machine, featuring Morlocks & Eloi (Peacefuls & Snowflakes).

        Aldous Huxley (1931) as quoted by Rebel above.

        George Orwell (1948) – 1984 & Animal Farm, amongst others.

        All bang on the fucking money!

      • Don’t forget Winston Churchill – The River War. Fucking prophetic – here is a clip to show just how bang on the money Winny was.
        “How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property – either as a child, a wife, or a concubine – must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men. Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of the Queen: all know how to die: but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome”
        Makes your fucking piss boil

      • Contrast a man like Churchill with our current so called ‘leaders’. Rubbish Pygmy cunts ALL.

        Thanks for the heads up Cunto. We really are in serious trouble.

      • People have walked right into it, what with public CCTV and now cheaply available private CCTV watching your every move, big brother is everywhere!

        Even Doris & Ernest over at number 23 have a cheeky little HD camera watching you in your own front garden.

        If that’s not bad enough, many even kit themselves out with a mobile phone which tracks every call / text you make or receive, where you’ve been / are and they can listen to you whenever they want. If you have that OK google or Alexa stuff, apparently its listening all the time and is recorded & stored somewhere. This also applies to these “smart TV’s”

        My travel with me phone is a bare bones Nokia that makes calls & text. No internet malarkey.

        I have a cheap Chinese smartphone I use as a tablet (shit Tesco tablet crashed) for ISAC and other web browsing through the home WiFi and no sim card is fitted to it.

        My home is pretty low tech, would be lower if not for her indoors. I’m a simple living law abiding person with nothing to hide but it doesn’t mean I’m leaving my door open to invasion of my privacy.

      • Not sure I’d feel too comfortable walking thru our town centre without a few CCTV cameras pretending to keep a watchful eye out. Especially since the police left and don’t bother with proper crime any more.

    • Spot on DF.

      And the language continues to be debased – the simpler the language, the less understanding of complex concepts and issues.

  9. Fuck me, i’ve Just been up the shops. Coming back there was this old dear on the other side of the road shuffling along going
    “ please help me, please help me, somebody help me……”
    It was fucking pitiful, I thought some bastard has mugged the old Doris.
    So I crossed over the road and said, “ what’s up darling, what’s the matter” in my best sympathetic snowflake voice.
    She looked me straight in the face and said “fucking go to hell.”
    Innit fair eh? ….innit fucking fair?

    • It’s surprising how many elderly enjoy a bit of profanity. I greeted an elderly neighbour in the street once and asked if she was off down to the shops. ” What do you think I’m doing…counting the hairs on me fanny?” came the reply. No answer to that ,is there??

      • I pass two old steamers late every Friday night when out with the dog and they are always hammered, in a worse state than I used to get into in my late teens. Fair play to the old girls for having a good time though instead of wilting away in front of the telly. Always have a chuckle at the thought of them going in and jumping on their other halves…poor cunts or maybe lucky cunts.

        Their slurred language freaks the hell out of my dog though. 😀

  10. I’m sure the picture for this cunting depicts a scene very familiar to all parents on here. It’s also one of the many reasons why I have and will continue to enjoy a childless existence. The peace and quiet, lack of clutter and a bank account not bereft of kid related expenditure is a wonder to behold. I’m now going to go back to my Sunday and do what the fuck I like without having to worry about anyone else. Bliss! 🙂

      • Hey SB. How’s it going?

        I just need to take little Johnny to football practice. Oh wait, no I don’t. He needs new shoes, trainers, back pack and laptop for school. Oh, no he doesn’t. We can’t go on holiday next month because it’s term time. Oh yes we can. I just tripped on Johnny’s fucking Tonka toy and sprained my fucking ankle. Oh actually, that never happened. I’m trying to read but little baby Suzie’s squawking is driving me insane. Hang on, it’s deathly quiet actually. Life’s good, huh? Enjoy!

      • Am sitting on top of the world IY!

        Apart from that I’m as miserable as fuck.

        But thanks for asking…

  11. When I saw that the cunting was Infantile Language, I thought some cunt was out of order for cunting me…….

    As mentioned by Freddie the Frog, that word “holibobs” crossed my path recently when my cousin said she was going on hers…… I knew there and then that I don’t belong anywhere.

    I work with a guy who when enjoying some scran will describe it as “lush”
    He’s married, but I suspect he sucks a lot of cock.

    • Birdman, your colleague that describes his food as lush may well be married but is clearly and undoubtedly a closeted iron.

  12. Mourinho reckons the “football gods were with Newcastle”… Maybe it’s time he made a sacrifice to the football gods and set light to those cunts, Jones & Smalling 🔥

    • It was a foul on Gale too by that donkey Smalling. As clear a pen as you’re likely to see all season. Ref’s a cunt.

      Thought your lot were poor, Norm. Sanchez runs around like a headless chicken, tries hard but doesn’t do much that’s impactful or significant. Lukaku is just a waste of space. The one decent pass he got from Sanchez in the box and he gets an attack of the ‘gangly legs’. He’s just shit. Valencia should have been off for kicking that Nocastle player in the face. That was serious foul play. I could go on, but you know the rest.

      I must say I was very surprised to see Mourinho sign a big contract extension. Pep’s got the better players, the better team, the better system, access to unlimited cash and is strolling the league as a result. It’s difficult to see that coming to an end any time soon and Mourinho is going to stick around and play second fiddle to City for the next few years? Don’t think that’s sustainable. I’ll guess we’ll see what happens. Cheers – I.Y.

      • I got no particular issue with Lingard, but he’s a very odd looking fellow. Looks like the victim of a cruel medical experiment with a profile of a creature not of this earth.

  13. Never heard the holibobs used, hear crimbo alot more since that Keith Lemmon Bo Selecta thing.

    What pisses me off is the cunts who do the Mike Brewer / Wheeler dealer cunt goodbye….Ta da or Ta La.

    Snackbar addict cunt that he is.

  14. A most unfair cunting. Bear in mind that the average policeman is at most 12 years old these days, and only speaks estate patois.

    So I woz lahk, derez sunnick not right n e woz lahk wot woz it bro?

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