Crowdfunding

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I’d like to give a Cunting to people who contribute to “Crowdfunding” appeals set up to rescue cheap Cunts who can afford to go on holiday but apparently can’t afford insurance.

I’ve been reading about some coffin-dodging old biddy who needs flying back from a cruise in Mexico after some medical emergency ( can’t be arsed to look up the story again to see what actually ailed the old bag). Her family organised a Crowd funding appeal saying that the old trout thought that her insurance,which covered Europe only,would be sufficient ! Now I know that geriatrics can get confused,but the old sponger wasn’t too confused to book a cruise (probably used the winter heating payment and a discount coupon from the Sun).

Anyone who contributes to some appeal like this merely encourages these shameless scroungers to think that if they have some medical emergency some Good Samaritans will pay to fly their cheap arses home while they continue to soak up their benefit payments as well as using up valuable NHS resources when they do get home.

Well they’ll wait a long time before I’ll contribute a brass farthing to getting the bastards back. Let them stew in their own juices until any resources that they have squirrelled away are exhausted…either that or tell the fuckers to smuggle themselves back into the country in the trailer of a Polish wagon.

Fuck them.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

77 thoughts on “Crowdfunding”

  1. I’ve took pity on this old dear and sent her the steam of my shit, it gave me an enormous sense of well-being.

    • I sent her a bottle of Lucozade. After I drank the contents. It’s ok though, she still got the original contents. In the same bottle. After I’d ‘recycled’ it.

  2. Nice cunting Dick! Over the last 12 months we have had a lot of stories of crowd funding for every stupidity you can think of. Usually some cunt with a big beard and an earring has lost his phone and wants another, or some feckless snowflake shit wants to go to a festival but mumsy can’t afford to shell out!

    I ask you!. Instead of getting a job, earning and saving, these fuckers want it all, and want it now! The lazy fucking cunts.

    And the old farts are now joining in! They want their arses kicked.!!

  3. Even more despicable are the celebs who use crowdfunding to milk gullible fans.

    I’ve read about porn stars appealling to kleenex-clad whiteknights for enhancement surgery, some old bint ex-Emmerdale actress emotionally blackmailing fans for terminal cancer treatment, social media ‘stars’ conning idiots for £5,000 to treat their fucking dog at the vets, and numerous instances of actors and directors begging for sums of money, sometimes exceeding $1million, to fund films and related projects.

    Now I’m not sure who the bigger cunt is in all this – the fuckers who plead for money, despite not being short of a bob or two; or indeed the thick fuckheads who, either from sheer blind stupidity, peer pressure or through some complex desire to be part of some social media ‘happening’, chip in to these shameless appeals for free money.

    I find the whole concept really fucking obnoxious. It’s akin to rifling the pockets of several thousand spastics for a sum total of money, who mistake minor theft for a tickling. Individual small sums accumulate into one big one. Even regular fuckers using crowdfunding for charity runs or the like really annoy me. I get many links from long-forgotten acquntances – who otherwise never get in touch – just to crowdfund their jollies across Kilimanjaro, or to take their elderly relative skydiving, or run like a cunt wearing a Fireman Sam costume. Kindly fuck off back to oblivion, one and all. Total donations by me: one enormous cunting zero.

    Last word on the twee messages accompanying the donations: ‘aw, good luck hun x’, ‘ur a star!’ and ‘lol at my cuntitude m8’. It all brings fucking bile to my mouth.

    I think I’ll set up a crowdfunding page, in order to charter an Apache helicopter over Lily ‘xenomong’ Allen’s mansion and boom out 24-hour non-stop verbose cuntings over the loud speaker. Yeah. Now pay up cunters!

  5. I want some crowdfunding so I can get a retired Mosad operative to take out the Labour front bench. They will need a harppon gun for our Muss Diane!

  6. Off topic, but Cunt of the Day has to be the outgoing Terror Head cop Mark Rowley. According to this establishment stooge, far right groups now pose a SIGNIFICANT threat to democracy!

    In a speech, Rowley draws many comparisons between Islamist and far-right groups, such as ISIS and Anjem Choudary in the former, and National Action and former EDL leader Tommy Robinson in the latter.

    That is PURE CUNTISHNESS of the HIGHEST order.

    Talk about Big fucking Brother…

    Great cunting btw Dick!

    • What a 24 carat cunt!!
      16 people fatally stabbed in London since start of the year!!
      How many people have these dangerous far right groups killed in the same period? ( have any cunters got a figure)
      Comparing them to ISIS is utterly ridiculous!! Worst of all he is fully aware he is talking utter bollocks!
      I just waiting for some security expert to claim that by leaving the EU the chance of being stabbed will rise by 75%… 😂
      Excellent cunting DPS ….
      As previous posters have pointed out CF is now another form of begging……

      • Far as I can tell Q, only one killed by ‘right wing’ terrorism, and that was by fuckwit cunt Darren Osborne, who doesn’t count in my book.

        Only other thing I can find is in September 2017 three men, including two serving British soldiers, were arrested and later charged with several offences relating to membership of the National Action and preparing for acts of terrorism.

        Drops in the ocean compared to peaceful atrocities!

        Cunt Rowley also says 4 right wing plots were foiled last year:

        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43200966

      • “Who’s left the gate open at the cunt farm” seems so appropriate…

        There MUST be a farm somewhere that produces these…

        JC, words just fail me. Read it in the paper this morning, and for the first time in ages totally screwed up two of the three sudokus.

    • What a 24 carat cunt!!
      16 people fatally stabbed in London since start of the year!!
      How many people have these dangerous far right groups killed in the same period? ( have any cunters got a figure)
      Comparing them to ISIS is utterly ridiculous!! Worst of all he is fully aware he is talking utter bollocks!
      I just waiting for some security expert to claim that by leaving the EU the chance of being stabbed will rise by 75%… 😂
      Excellent cunting DPS ….
      As previous posters have pointed out CF is now another form of begging……
      morning SB …..

      • Hiya SB…
        bloody phone froze and being a completely inpatient cunt I hit the send again…. 😡

      • Clearly all middle age white males according to many deluded fuckers are to blame for everything that anyone decides needs scapegoats.

        Whether it be women accusing men of sexual impropriety decades after the event, enjoying themselves at a men’s evening, or taking out an MP or driving into and taking out a peaceful.

        To place “white extremists” in the same category as IS after virtually no fucking terrorist attacks whatsoever and compare the two is both divisive, it is also incorrect and completely wrong to do so.

        It seems to me that anyone who voted for Brexit can now be deemed by many as being totally racist, and soon to be fair game to be labelled extremist. I voted for Brexit because of the huge influx of Eastern Europeans who take much, get in the way, have fuck all to offer, loud mouthed unmannered cunts who are gradually ruining our town but are not welcome nor wanted.

        I for one am completely fucked off with everything being blamed on white males.

        The politicians could stop this shit now if they really wanted to but don’t fucking care as not living amongst it. Useless fuckers.

        Great Britain, don’t make me laugh.

      • Corbyn campaigned for 30 years to get us out of the EU, now he’s in a bidding war with May to keep us in!

        Whatever next? – abandon lifelong opposition to nuclear deterrence? Pledge to bring immigration down to MINUS 10s of 1000s? Condemn IRA /Hamas /Venezuelan Government? Embrace market economy? Root out anti-semitism in the Labour party? Stop being an unprincipled cunt?

      • Corbyn probably sticks he finger out of the window each morning to see which way the winds blowing!!
        His EU stance isn’t based on his beliefs it’s simply to pile pressure on to the hunchbacks
        Sloping shoulders…..

  7. An Update to this story:

    The old bag is home….apparently the hospital agreed to let her come home even though the bill wasn’t paid. Now I might be a tad suspicious,but what’s the betting that the Foreign Office (tax-payer) is the one actually footing the bill?

    The cheap old bitch didn’t even pay for the holiday herself,apparently. Her friend who she was accompanying paid for her ticket. So we’ve got a greedy old trout on a free holiday with no valid travel insurance being treated and flown home at the taxpayers’ expense. I’ve little doubt that the Crowdfunding money that was raised was used to feather the geriatric’s rent-paid lair on her return…either that or spent on cigarettes and bingo.

    Anyone stupid enough to these Crowdfunding appeals is a fool being robbed by greedy spongers.
    Fuck them.

    • Anyone who travels overseas without adequate travel insurance is taking a massive risk that all will be ok.

      Failure to do do and some eventuality befalls them, ity is their own stupid fault and they deserve everything they get.

      Expecting others to bail out their own stupidity is the typical mindset of many fucking halfwits now residing on these shores.

      Fuck em.

      • Foreigners who come to UK don’t need any insurance, because everything here is FREE. Jammy fuckers!

  8. That’s exactly what I was going to say Mike, it is begging – pure and simple – behind the bling of a website!

    At least you get the satisfaction of telling Roma accordion playing spongers to fuck off in person, there is no such entry form on these sites to tell said spongers on there to fuck off!

    Pity cos I’d almost pay to use that feature – almost…

  9. Sorry to hijack this cunting but I need to vent off some of this piss generated steam. While having my Ready Brek I glanced at the ITV Morning show and was immediately exposed to a 3 and a half cunt fest. Piers Morgan (half cunt cos he does say some truthful things) Susanna Reid(complete cunt) and Mega cunts Tub faced Lord Prescot and unkempt stinking of piss Lord Heseltine. ITV are also cunts for having 2 remoaning cunts on to back up Catweazles Customs Union farce. Heselcunt waffles on saying how brave the Sourburys and Uriah Grieves are in standing up for the country even though when challenged by half a cunt that it may lead to a Corbyn government. This was met by a shrug of the shoulders in acceptance of if that’s what it takes to stay shackled to our captors so be it. All the while as he was bumbling on a slow river of clear snot was making its glacier like way down to his top lip. When the senile piss stenched cunt finally noticed this snot leak he then proceeds to wipe it off with the back of his skeletal hand. Get a fuckin snot rag you filthy old cunt, you can fuckin afford it cos I’m fucking paying for it. Cunts. Thanks for that, sorry to butt in. Off to work.

    • Well at least fuckface Catweazle has nailed his stinking traitorous colours to the mast. The Blairites and the Trots must be slapping him on the back and sucking each other off.
      Now it’s up to the electorate. Local elections coming up soon and the cunt can’t hide behind a fudge now. Any traditional Labour supporter who votes for this Islington mafia now must be a total cunt.

      • Blair, Corbyn, all the fucking same, Labour in Government whatever it takes, end justifies the means, Brexit means Brino…

      • I see in my crystal ball…the BBC and Grauniad suddenly deciding Corbyn is a jolly good chap after all, because this way the only Brexit available is going to be airside on a transatlantic flight. And there will be no possibility of his grabbing the reins of government when the Tories implode in a cloud of fart. He’ll have alienated his ‘populist’ (bad, m’kay?) supporters and he’ll be struggling to match the LibDems.

        Trebles all round, and call your broker. Cunts.

    • Grieve is beginning to look a right curtain-haired spaccy cunt, like the Verminhofstadt in its Berlaymont rathole.

      • Don’t worry, he’s only trying to seduce the green vote. When he displaces May, it’ll be back to greasing the bankers.

  11. Fair play to J O’B this morning,he’s just made the brilliant point that Teresa May who actually wants us to stay in Europe is the one arguing for us to come out while J. Corbyn who wants us to leave is arguing for us to stay in ! Confused? But he did say that he turns the boxing on TV off if his children are in the room.

    • O’Shithead actually admitted this morning to being “a complete hypocrite…”

      I may have taken that slightly out of context. Wonder what sort of cunt I could have picked up a crooked trick like that from…

  12. Another emergency crowdfunding plea.

    A Mrs T May of Central London is looking for donations for vital spinal surgery any donations are very welcome as this is time pressure situation with about 65 million people depending on it.

    • She can go fuck herself with the digit of a leper, the rancid waste of cytoplasm. I’ll send my usual donation of a warm wrapped turd, she’ll still be spineless, but at least it will keep her warm

  14. Crowdfunding’s a scam? OK, how about being a crowdfunding middleman? Set up a site which collects 10% of the donation and passes the rest onto a charity daft or dishonest enough to sign up to the deal.

    You don’t even have to be a charity yourself. And yes, it happens.

  15. I’m looking to buy a fairly expensive Linn stereo system. Can I write a sob story and get other cunts to pay for it? Is it even legal?

    • The answer to those questions is: Yes Yes and Yes.

      Go for it CnR, your sob story could revolve around a clinical state of depression brought about by the fact that Shitcake’s taste in music is far superior to your own and he’s probably got a better Hi-Fi system: Amstrad amp, 25 watt Wharfedale Denton speakers, tweeters blown, Garrard deck with Prinzsound cartridge+needle…

      • Were these things ‘she’ wanted you to have? They seem to be about 1997 vintage. Eh?

      • Oh, come. Wharfedale Dentons may sound like shite nowadays – like anything with a weak magnet – but they were state-of- the-art in 1969. The rest wasn’t, granted.

        I was about to suggest a similar stratagem, but invoking ADHD rather than depression. Easier to simulate.

      • State-of-the-art Komodo? Not in my experience. In fact they don’t sound like anything these days. Been in several garden sheds for the last 45 years or so, along with a pair of Solavox’s (35 years?) and a nice pair of Celestions (20 years) which weren’t half fucking bad.

        Last time I looked current system consists of B&W DM602 S3 speakers, Duel CS 505-4 turntable, and a Denon PMA-355 amp, Sony CD player, Pioneer CD-R recorder, Denon Tuner (not digital).

        (+ some Mordaunt-Short MS35Ti speakers and Technics SU-A700 amp in reserve.)

        Not that it makes any difference to ya…

      • My junk is like a Honda 50 compared to your Rocket III, or whatever you’ve got to play your K-Tel and Singalongamax records on, I’m sure K.

        Btw, WTO rules seem to work ok when it comes to U.K. trade with China. Practically everything I own seems to have been made there. Including a box of snooker tips bought for a couple of squid last year.

  16. I would like crowdfunding please to buy a BMW M5, and to add a few more thousand to my Bank Account. This will make me feel better as I can’t buy an M5 yet… Its the white man’s fault you see.

      • I know Shitcake Baker, I’ve been shouting at myself whilst looking in the mirror.

      • Good, although SCB, I’ve always wondered if you’re a baker who is poor at baking cakes or a baker who bakes cakes with shit as the main ingredient.

      • I have tried several times to answer your question in detail Smeggy, but each time I keep getting blocked. I will try again tomorrow. In the meantime, needless to say, I bake exceedingly good shitcakes…

      • Shitcake mark one is 100% organic and delivered fresh every morning out my ragged bunghole, usually just after breakfast at around 8.07.

        Shitcake mark two is a different animal altogether and is guaranteed to blow your mind approximately 45 minutes following consumption.

        I hope that answers your question…

  17. I thought that “The beast from the east” weather forecast would be the normal hysterical load of bollocks…must admit,they’ve got it right for once. I had to pull a jacket on this morning.
    Lucy Verisami and Clare Nasir are both highly doable. I think nowt to that floppy titted Carol Kirkwood. Look like they’d hang to her kneecaps.

  18. Crowdfunding as they call it… That horrible bitch from Emmerdale springs to mind… Smokes herself to near death by her own free will, gets the Big C, and expects every fucker to pay for her treatment through online and tabloid sob stories and scrounging – sorry- crowdfunding… But my mother never touched a cig in her life, worked her arse off for decades in various jobs, brought up five kids (two now also dead), got the big C and didn’t make a fuss or expect anyone to pay for her treatment, least of all people she didn’t know… Hell is a-waitin for that Bracknell bint… She can fuck off, the cunt…

    • Fucks Sake,that site is truly bizarre…I’m going to set one up saying that it’s to pay for Mr T Blair to be buried immediately, before the stench of corruption becomes unbearable.

      • I will gladly pay for a can of petrol and box of matches for Bliar’s open-air cremation.

    • I’m going for the £4k pledge,you get to stay the weekend with him and there’s the chance of hugs.

  21. Let me get this straight. I give money to some fucking harebrained scheme or project and the organisers take 10% off the top before anything gets started?
    In return for my generosity I get fuck all, with the added bonus of getting my accounts hacked.
    Sorry but you’ll have to get it from the guy next door , we’ve run out of stupid at this house.
    Since you’re here though, could you crowd fund me for a cruise on the new ship, Harmony of the Seas, I’m doing a research project to find out how poverty affects the passengers when they get home. The last one I took a few weeks ago was unsuccessful, ‘cos I didn’t bump into any poor people . I promise I’ll try harder this time

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