Posh `explorers’

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Pointless Posh `explorers’ With No Sense of Direction

Another day, another prattish posho with a chiselled jaw but no sense of direction is pointlessly wandering around Antartica, trying to do what exactly? Ben Saunders, 40, (40! He’s too bloody old for this nonsense!) is apparently `perilously close to running out of food’ and his family back in Blighty are frantic with worry.

Bizarrely, he is making this futile foray into the wilderness `in memory’ of his friend, fellow pointless explorer Colonel Henry Worsley, who died wandering round the South Pole trying to break some kind of record in 2016, leaving behind a widow and 2 children.

He follows hot on the heels of Benedict Allen who cunted off to find a lost tribe without any GPS equipment or a phone. Never mind the fact his wife and young kids were frantic with worry: he apparently deliberately went walkabout in an ‘old school’ manner as he wanted some alone time and ‘space’.

Typical bloody man. Why not just go to the pub like a normal person? Or get a shed?

A friend told a newspaper: ‘For people like Ben it’s about finding out more about yourself.’

He’s 57! If he doesn’t yet know himself, he never will. Explorers are supposed to be interested in the world, not their own navel.

Meanwhile, Sir Ranulph Fiennes was feted by the press for having to chop his own fingers off after getting frostbite while climbing a mountain somewhere. It’s not heroic, it’s stupid!

In 2003, Steven Boultby Brooks and his pal Quentin Smith were trying to break a ridiculous record for something and had to be rescued in Antartica by the Royal Navy after crashing their helicopter into the sea. And don’t get me started on Mark Thatcher.

`Exploring’ is just an excuse for under-employed old Etonians with trustfunds and mid-life crises to stumble around the planet before being rescued by plebs at the tax payers expense.

None of these cunts has a sense of direction that matches their sense of entitlement. Why are we even bothering to rescue them in the first place?

Nominated by Caro

36 thoughts on “Posh `explorers’”

  2. And then they get to be on BBC Breakfast which seems to have an unnatural addiction to these work-shy fops.

    They should be let loose into some jungle or other, no GPS, no phone, just a peashooter and a bottle of Lucozade, see how far they get, daft cunts.

  3. Sir Ranulph Fiennes in my humble opinion is a man that the UK should be very proud to call our own.

    Served in the British army before undertaking many, many expeditions never before attempted, setting many records on the way to becoming one of Britain’s greatest ever historical individuals.

    Many of the expeditions he set off on were unsupported and unaided meaning he was not ecpecting to be saved in the event of a catastrophe and would have perished if the worst happened.

    Unconventional and but extremely brave, practical, highly interesting, fascinating to listen to and to read (he has many brilliant stories and life experiences he is willing to share) and by all accounts a very humble and thoroughly decent man.

    Probably the worlds greatest ever explorer of whom Britain should be extremely proud of

    • I agree to a certain extent Willie, I just can’t help wondering why these people don’t put all that time and effort into doing something a bit more worthwhile.

      “I walked to the top of a big hill 30 minutes quicker than anyone else, even though we have helecopters these days so I didn’t have to walk at all.”
      “I rowed across an ocean, even though we have engines these days so we don’t need to row anymore.”
      “I walked across a big sheet of ice for 2 weeks to see if it could be done, even though someone already did so it obviously can be done.”

      Just seems like a bit of a waste of time to me.

      • George Mallory, when asked in 1924 “Why did you want to climb Mount Everest?” replied, “Because it’s there.”

      • There’s a lot to be explored in Wales.

        I keep thinking of the twin peaks of Charlotte Church.

    • Should have left it at serving in the army. Why the fuck lose your fingers and toes on some feat that benefits nobody? I know, because it’s there.

  4. Great nomination.

    Never understood the point in exploring a lump of ice or a big rock.
    Exploring the nightlife, fine. Exploring the restaurant scene. Fine.
    Why bother to explore the north pole? what the fuck to they expect to discover? … some ice. …. and … .. Lots of fuck all.

    Maybe we should create a big adventure playground for them to explore and keep themselves out of trouble. … or maybe someone should just tell the cunts to grow up.

  5. Watch out where the huskies go
    An’ don’t you eat that yellow snow
    Watch out where the huskies go
    An’ don’t you eat that yellow snow

  6. The Mighty Boosh did a wonderful piss-take of this years ago.
    Howard Moon: I want to be remembered as Howard Moon, colon, Explorer.
    Vince: You mean Howard Moon, colon-explorer!

    First series, naturally, as the other two were rubbish. Also, I recall a marvellous Monty Python sketch.

  8. How the fuck are you to do that ? Get two pillars of society to give you a reference that you are indeed 18 or over ? Produce your driving licence and passport before entering x Hamster ?

    • Tick a box to cover their arises.
      Another prize example of unjoined up thinking married to snowflake PC unworkable bullshit…

  9. … I heard Jeremy Swine announce on his Radio 2 show that he was to be speaking to the wife of the Benedict Allen chap who disappeared into the jungle and did his utmost to get lost …. a brief description of the tale … I thought what a selfish Cunt … then I heard his wife. Fuck Me … I couldn’t help but then feel sympathy for poor Benny boy seeing as how, I believe, they’d found him. Listening to his fucking missus, a right opinionated Cunt who never drew breath for about ten minutes … I don’t think it’ll be too long before we hear reports of The Benster going walk about again…

    • Another one was Alec Rose. I remember at the time thinking that being eaten by seagulls would be preferable to living with his missis.

  10. Neutral on this one. If some overfunded cunt wants to spend his money and time risking his life ‘exploring’, then let him. Make it completely clear that he surrenders all rights in the matter of rescue, or is heavily insured to pay for it. But it’s not just obscenely rich cunts. A steady stream of cunts goes up Everest or other Himalayas Andes and Alps, and some of them are never seen again: often ordinary cunts, not Etonian ones. I’d say that in addition to allowing the Darwin effect to improve the breed, it gets people out in the fresh air and gives them an appreciation of how shitty urban civilisation is.
    But cunt explorers who generally have some idea of what they’re facing and how to deal with it (I except mad cunts doing the Atlantic in a rubber ring or the proud builders from scrap of steam rockets)…pale into insignificance beside these cunts, reported today as taking their 5-year-old kid up Snowdon on a rough day in winter, without adequate gear and with the navigational skills of a decapitated chicken.
    https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/child-5-couple-rescue-snowdonia-14210520
    Hypercunts par excellence.

    PS sympathy for the rescuers is usually misplaced. Like most teams, the OVMRT is composed of volunteers who enjoy what they do for the most part. Be told.

  11. Sir Ranulph is a fucking hero of mine along with Scott, Shackleton, Livingstone etc. This country used to be a factory for fearless dashing explorers. It is one of my favourite subjects to read about. In one of Sir Ranulphs books he talked about how the mind closes in and thoughts become distorted. He was crossing The Antarctic in 93 with Dr Mike Stroud from Yorkshire. He told how unbelievably fatigued and hungry they were and that when cooking the food after a days treking when it was being shared out if there was one morsel or grain of rice remaining they would look at each other desperate for the extra piece in a way that said ‘I fucking want that, you cunt’. Stroud wore glasses for his eyesight and was continually having to stop to de mist them. This annoyed Fiennes so fucking badly that he admitted to having genuine thoughts about fucking shooting the cunt and hoying him down a crevasse. After it was as all over and Fiennes was asked what he had learned from the experience he replied ‘NEVER go trekking in The Antarctic with someone who wears glasses and NEVER go with a Yorkshire man. I wish I had a tenth of his mettle.

    • Agree totally Kendo.

      Like you have also admired him for many years. Nearly got the chance to attend a private dinner with him followed by a talk from him but unfortunately my boss decided last minute that he wanted to go instead. Cunt.

      Certainly a bit of an eccentric however there is no escaping the fact that he is a deeply patriotic and fearless man who merits much respect for his lifelong achievements.

      I cannot understand those who would wish to criticise or to slight someone for simply following their lifelong ambitions, particularly as he has done so by not hurting or exploiting anyone else in the process.

      A fucking great man with balls bigger than most.

      • Is right mate. I went to see him a few years back too. It was in a fucking big church with loads of wine beforehand and after. Very amusing and interesting night from what I remember. Wish he’d been my dad.

      • Reckon this type of person is wired differently to most, and yes, probably a bit nuts.

  12. What about an expedition to the peaceful areas of Blackburn. That would be good telly!

  13. Fiennes is a terrorist, he stole explosives and blew up a dam because he thought it was ugly.

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