Telesales [3]

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I want to give a monumental cunting to cold calling telesales cunts.

At the moment I am being plagued by pakis trying to sell me google space WTF, so my business can be at the top of a google search page. The problem is now my customers can’t even get through on the fucking phone because of fucking fresh pesh from Bangladesh [who says his name is Daniel , yeah right ho] keeping my phone engaged all the time. Surely these cunts must know when they re not going to get a sale, but they keep on plugging until you run out of patience and tell them to fuck off………so cunting for telesales!

Nominated by Fuglyucker

30 thoughts on “Telesales [3]”

  2. Fuck me sideways! These cuntings are coming faster and thicker than jizz on Jennifer Lawrence’s face!

    https://kinkshed.com/photos/view/13/jennifer-lawrence-cum-on-face-pics-leaked

    Beats watching ‘Homes Under the Hammer’ & ‘Escape to the Country’…

    Full marks to Admin – and great cunting Fuglyucker!

    If any sales cunt phones me I quickly turn the tables and ask them how much dosh they are looking to borrow or zero in with a hard PPI sales pitch – don’t let the fuckers get a word in edgeways – soon shuts them up!

    Mind you, one prat kept trying to tell me I’d misunderstood the nature of his call for over 5 minutes!

    Thick cunts, ha ha…

    • Firstly I would like to find the man responsible for the Jennifer Lawrence incident and shake his hand!! Good skills……

      I used to get plagued with telesales fuckers, I had a standard answer for them “ hello is that mr quisling?” “ no im afraid not he’s away for 5 years” at this point the daft Cunts couldn’t resist repeating me “ away for 5 years?” “ yes he got jailed for killing a telephone canvasser” ……… click!!
      But with the advent of caller recognition I never answer the phone to Unidentified callers!!
      I know their only trying to make a living but if I wanted insurance, loan , PPI or anything else they are pushing I would fuckin call them!!

  3. When you answer … Just say you are a DCI …… They phone has been held of as evidence… And how do you know the deceased victim…. All call are being logged and followed up in the investigation of the case…. Get the cunts on the back foot from the start
    Works a treat

  4. BT are the real cunts here because they have the capability to end this for good but they don’t.

    They claim to want to help customers with their call blocking phones and boxes however they flog off data held about us to the highest…I mean any bidder.

    The regulator fines don’t go anywhere near far enough to deter these scumbags who are often scamming and harrassing our elderly population.

    I tell them to fuck off, however the elderly get quite scared and traumatized by these calls and its time it all ended.

    Service providers such as Sly etc claim to be powerless and pass the buck at BT. However if I made a telephone call and said the right “trigger words” often enough, I would have the special branch round caving my door in and taking me away.

    Rules for some…..

  5. Always getting work calls from Scally scragends enquiring into my well-being after my traffic accident and if I have thought about claiming compo. They can’t even say my name right. They ask if They can speak to ‘Pail’ and not Paul.

    Easiest way to finish them off is to tell them that ‘Pail’ does not work here. This is technically the truth. Scouser cunts anyway.

  7. Be careful, Cunters. After a particularly irritating series of calls from Sub Asians trying to tell me that they were from microsoft or some such shit,I lost my temper. “Hello,this is Gurapta” was as far as the next one got before I launched into a full-bore Cunting at the Paki on the other end. I told her that I’d fuck her up the arse ’till her ears popped,asked her if she interfered with animals and told her that her husband was probably out molesting kiddies in his taxi. “Don’t ever call this number again,you Paki felcher” was how I finished the call. Give her her due,she never did call again…..
    A week or so later, I rang the my diesel supplier to demand to know why my delivery hadn’t arrived. I’d worked myself up into a state of righteous indignation and was ready to tell them where to shove it until the delightful receptionist who answered my call introduced herself as “Gurapta” and explained to me that she had rung me to confirm my order but had had to listen to my foul diatribe. Apparently she had wanted to call the police,but the firm’s owners had calmed her down by cancelling my account. She even sent me a gloating letter in with my final statement.

    Fuck them.

    • Oh aye… The ‘Dis is microsorft’ Parky Stanlee lot… Not only are these smelly haggling blagslag cunts all over the high street, the parasites are on the phone and all… And another thing: why are all pizza and takeaway places Parking Stanley? I was always told as a kid that pizza was Italian…. But there is about as much chance of finding an Eyetie pizza takeaway joint as there is of finding Christina Hendricks in my bedroom in saucy undies and brandishing a Doddy style tickling stick… Ah well…

    • Couldn’t prove it was you, after all you had a house full of drunk people at your party and you didn’t use the phone. You were busy in the kitchen making the canopies for your guests.

  8. The other day at work I hadn’t checked my phone for most of the day and when I did I had 9 missed calls.

    Obviously you immediately think something bad has happened then I saw they were “Private” numbers, so less concerned but even so I was waiting to hear from the agency I work through to see if I’ve still got a job through Xmas.

    It was about 7.15pm when I left. Phone rings in the car (on the Bluetooth jobby), private number: “Hello Mr X. Are you interested in solar energy?”

    No doubt it had been these cunts all day long, and that’s just one of the plethora of pointless calls I get daily both at home and on my mobile.

    If you had some cunt form a political party who ran a campaign on quashing pointless immigration (and actually meant it rather than paying it lip service) and banning cold-calling they’d win with a 70% majority I’m sure.

    I’ve actually called BT (who are useless) about this and all they say is “Register with TPS!” (Totally Pointless Service). I’ve registered all my phones with that and do the calls stop coming in, do they fuck!

    And also why do you have to keep on re-registering with TPS on a yearly basis? Do they think after registering once (that I don’t want to be pestered by these cunts) that I’ll suddenly change my mind and think: “You know what? I really miss being disrupted at home and work. I’d love for those pointless calls to flood in again.”

    Hey TPS your useless service should be a register forever service until I decide to unregister – which I can assure you will be never!

    Not that it matters because if the number is blocked they can’t do a thing. “International” they can’t do a thing. But even by then you’ve already been disturbed/hassled so it’s already too late.

    Cunts!

    • I get out of area on my phone for some reason and numbers a couple of digits short of a real number which I never answer either.

  9. Just fuck them about as you say. Put on hold, ask searching questions or be abusive. That was how I finally got rid of the cunts from Sky who couldn’t contact me to tell me they were hiking the prices but magically found me when I fucked Sky off.

  10. Being a bit retired so I have time. It’s the calls about a virus on my computers. I pretend to be frightened and confused and I drag the call out as long as I possibly can, then when I’m bored I say “Do you think I came up on the fucking banana boat?” and hang up.

  11. I had had one of those ambulance chasing fuckers on the phone today. “We’ve just learned you were involved in an accident last night”, said the foreign on the other end. I told her fuck off and hung up. I haven’t had an accident for long time.

  12. I put one of these fuckers on hold to ask the boss if he wanted to take the call? He thought I’d hung up on him so rang back and repeatedly told he was going to kill us. I just thought FUCK OFF silly paki CUNT!

  14. AC/DC, I am still playing those albums now, even louder than when I was in my younger days. Cheers Malcolm Young and R.I.P

    • Personally I like the Bon Scott years better they were more varied Brian Johnston was so one tone as a vocalist not saying he was terrible either but Bon had a much deeper range

  15. Good comments and a good read QDM. Theresa May is a fucking hopeless PM and it came to light she was useless in her previous position. The hunchback is going to hand the keys over to Steptoe and his band of cunts. What a future this country has to look forward to.

    • You’re absolutely right there. Corbyn and his politburo piss ants don’t have to do anything. May and her crew are literally giving them the next general election. She threw away a 21 point lead with a lacklustre campaign and policies so pathetic the Tories may have well have handed out copies of Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses. And it’s not like she had to call a general election.

  16. Didn’t one of these overstuffed EU pissants say something along the lines of “The crowd does not get to choose it’s fate” or suchlike.
    I’m pretty sure that’s actually Fascism.
    And that whichever scumbag said it is a giant soggy welly-top of a cunt…

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