Selfish Pet Owners

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I hereby call for an extreme cunting for selfish owners of both cats and dogs.
I’ve just walked out of my drive to discover about 3lbs of shit right in the path the driver side wheels of my car will take in the morning. Fucking cunts! The dog is a cunt anyway but so is the owner.
I’m telling you, given the amount, the dog would have been squatting there shaking for about ten fucking minutes whilst the owner spent every one of those minutes planning to deliberately fucking leave it there.
If I knew who it was I would smear it over their front door handle, letterbox, bin handles, gate handle, front doormat, car door handle, freshly delivered milk, you name it.
What the holy flying fuck is wrong with these people?
And as for cat owners, well, CUNTS. They dont even walk around with the animal even pretending like they are going to pick up the shit.
AND! The law is on their side! You can’t do anything about it without the PC brigade rolling out in force and prosecuting your ass. What the fuck?
There is no recourse through animal control. There is no recourse through the law. There is no recourse through polite conversation and request. When you’ve exhausted all options, do you know what the official line is? Adopt the cunting thing and pay for it to be nuetered!
Any other less fluffy animal what be classed legally as vermin, but not those cutey kitties.
Bastards.
Killing all the birds. Digging holes everywhere. Pissing and shitting all over everything. Keeping us all awake all night with that wierd orgy chorus of theirs.
FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
Of course, pet owners say that they are animals and its natural and what can anyone do?
Well, at the very least if they’re so fucking lovely then keep them indoors 24hours a day so you don’t miss a thing. And learn how much fun it is to live with their shit and piss.
And if you’re feeling generous, do us all a favour and get them euthanized.
Bastard cunts.

Nominated by Cuntflap

41 thoughts on “Selfish Pet Owners”

  2. Indeed, never seen a peaceful with a pet. Perhaps a peaceful would not want to be associated with something as (relatively) clean as a dog or cat, given they wipe their dirty arses with their bare hand.

    I have a dog and always carry a poo bag when I take her for a trot. My cats do not have access to beyond the confines of the house and their pen in the rear garden. Too many big brave cunts around nowadays harming pets, so I can’t take a chance.

  3. I always pick up my dogs shit. I wouldn’t want to stand in it, why should anyone else?

    People who don’t do this are grade-A cunts.

  4. The French are the worst. Can’t walk down the street without doing the dogshit shuffle. Pavements are covered with it. Dirty bastards…

  5. Despite the title of this nomination, the subsequent write up seems to strongly suggest that dogs and cats are somehow cunts and should be banished from the face of the earth.

    We have a cat flap in our kitchen and not one cunt has ever been known to emerge through it. The only cunts known to enter our house come through the front door on two legs.

    We will soon be psyching ourselves up to greet quite a high volume of cuntage at the front door over Christmas and the New Year period. Not one will enter via the cat flap.

    Merry Christmas Cuntflap, ha ha.

  6. They say it’s good luck to stand in a dog shite . Load of pish I’ve stood on a few intentionally when going to the bookies and I still won fuck all

    • You have to stand in it accidentally. Otherwise every cunt doing the lottery would be jumping up and down in the stuff before filling their numbers in.

  7. Apparently a lot of dogs are clearly not as advertised.

    My nan was given a rescue dog but when her flat caught fire, did he fetch a ladder….did he fuck…

    • Ginger beers all round! Saw his future Mrs was worried about moving her dogs to the UK as they had to be quarantined, given injections/medical and have the correct paperwork, only if the same applied to every boat jumping cunt who thinks they have the right to move here.

      • I wonder if this Yank bird is aware of the wife swapping traditions and sexual perversions of the British upper classes? Oh well, i expect she’ll find out on her first shooting weekend when she wakes up in the middle of the night confronted by baldy Wills dressed in stockings and suspenders with his little winkle in his hand.

    • Thank fuck for that! We have had this shite every day for fucking months. Will he/ will he not? Drives me fucking insane! Ginger cunt marring a Golly FFS

    • Wonderful news!

      My indifference has just leapt into action and is now inbreeding with my contempt…

    • “A ginger tosser who wears Nazi uniforms and likes to rest his bollocks on Las Vegas pool tables wasn’t my first choice” said Miss Markle…”But although I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with the prospect of a life of wealth and privilege, I still intend to be an ambassador for worldwide equality”……

      Pfft……

    • Who really gives a flying fuck about any members of the royal family any more.

      All useless parasites who rely on others to fund their lavish lifestyles.

      • Not sure how much they get nowdays but always liked the old…

        “You keep paying us and we’ll keep waving from the balcony”…

        copyright….Liz….

      • I went into the bakers and bought a cake after seeing a sign in the window stating…

        ‘ All cakes £1″

        But when I got to the till was asked for £2.

        I said to the baker.. “I thought all cakes were a quid”

        He replied..”Normally yes, but that’s Madeira cake”….

      • Forgot about the fucking media circus. Pointless frenzy has already started. Many pointless wankers with cameras pissing about with fuck all better to do than take photos of the happy cunts.

        Continuous coverage from now of the engagement through to the choosing of the fucking wedding dress, the arrangements surrounding the multi million pound wedding cheered on by the usual fucking halfwits cheering in the streets, official leg over/pregnancy, birth of the first useless sprog (after the highly tedious will it be a be a boy or a girl game name) after watching pathetic cunts standing outside hospitals for hours on end with nothing to say. Followed by more of the fuckers.

        Of course will need new multi million pound house, royal staff, private schools for the new arrivals. And so on.

        End result, just more useless royal cunts who will contribute absolutely nothing worthwhile and be rewarded handsomely for their efforts.

      • If you have something I can buy from you to help me on my way or even a kind smothering with a pillow will be gratefully accepted Shitcake.

        Everything In modern life really is a becoming a cunt to accept and to deal with.

  9. I’m not an animal lover, never have been , never will. I watch people walking their dogs on fucking huge extended leads causing slips trips etc. etc. I see owners letting their dogs shite anywhere and not bothering their arses to lick it up ( which is what I would prefer them to do ) My garden smells of cat shite ( the fucking worst shite smell ever ) The carcasses of killed birds everywhere! And is visited by cats from god knows where exercising their “right” to mark out my garden with a series of turds as part of their territorial claim. Ex friends visiting who bring their smelly hounds and encourage then to jump on the furniture ( thats why they are ex friends ) And to make matters worse, these feckless bearded accessory driven retarded fuckwits buying designer fucking dogs for obscene amounts of fucking money.
    I might just be a miserable old geordie bastard, but a dogs place is a council estate. It will be called “lady” . It will have more fucking sires that lilly the mong, and it will gets is arse kicked if it gets in me way.!

  11. Talking of animals who smear themselves in shit, Michael Heseltine is the latest quisling to stand up and demand the cancellation of Brexit.

    This broad-faced cunt has always been deplorable, whether one is a Tory voter or not. His attempts to oust Thatcher truly pinned his cunt colours the mast, and he’s heen living up to this billing ever since.

    • He’s a Cunt … but it also gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that Heseltine will go to his grave on the losing side. That’s the thing that is really burning the Cunt up inside … and he thinks he knows best.

    • From Sir Nigel

      “Oh no. It looks like Mr Heseltine has escaped from the National History Museum again”.

      Britain will one day join the euro and it’s very possible Brexit won’t happen, says Lord Heseltine

  12. Cats are the problem where I live. Fucking vermin who shit everywhere, kill birds and fucking yowl at night. I have 2 dogs and control them and clear up after them. Cat owners let the disgusting creatures do what they want. Cats are vermin worldwide where they threaten the natural fauna. Should all be destroyed along with their stupid owners.
    There. I feel better now.

    • When the time comes and I’ve had enough, would you be interested in holding a pillow over my face till I stop breathing and shit me last?

      I own three cats Cuntstable, so should be more than eligible…Thanks.

    • Cuntstable

      My personal opinion for what it’s worth is that cats are truly fantastic creatures.

      Independent wild animals who are prolific hunters, fiercely territorial and protective of their and their owners space. They are relatively honest and straightforward creatures, have minds of their own, are selfish and usually do only what they choose to do.

      They seek help only when they really need it. In return and only if you are lucky, you will have a cat that respects your efforts and reciprocates in some way, albeit this is usually only very occasionally.

      They are incredibly clean creatures, and I am absolutely sure if they were capable of coming up with an alternative method of disposing with their waste they would do.

      For the record I would willingly clear up after our one, but thankfully he shits in neighbouring properties.

      Anyway, glad you feel better after getting that off your chest.

    • @Cuntstable Cuntbubble

      Hang on….. you’re not AKA the infamous Croydon cat murderer are you Cuntstable?

      • Willie & Shitcake
        It is convention on this site that we don’t go at each other. However, by being cat owners you have gone beyond the bounds of polite cunting. I am coming round with my .22 rifle and a thousand yard stare.

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