Martin Freeman [2]

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A nomination of personal annoyance here – British actor Martin Freeman.

Famous for playing Tim in Ricky Gervais’ shit-fest The Office, he also played as Tim in the shit ‘n’ thankfully short-lived The Robinsons, Tim in pubehead Moffat’s Sherlock, Tim in the Hobbit trilogy and is currently appearing as Tim in the excruciatingly annoying Vodafone adverts.

This jug-eared tribute act to Norwich’s finest inbreeding programme has carved out a career from playing the same bemused, stammering, wise-cracking cunt in everything, and I mean everything he’s cast in. He’s simply one of those fuckers with a face so punchable it takes every effort to not deliver an uppercut to the TV screen. I must be missing something because I can’t see any appeal to this fucking buffoon.

He may not be a bad person, so the limited cunting opportunities on him may be as one-dimensional as his acting, but this turd in human form has been simmering my piss since 2002. So for that reason, he is a cunt.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

48 thoughts on “Martin Freeman [2]”

  1. Surely THE luckiest actor on the planet. From a few very average castings to then be given a role in the utter shite Lord of the Ring Pieces earning mega mega bucks. This wooden acting plank must think he’s in the middle of a dream. Lucky lucky cunt.

    • Unfortunately his dream is our nightmare!!
      Talking about being a one dimensional actor Hugh grant takes some beating, playing the foppish slightly bewildered Englishman to the fuckin hilt!!
      The best performance that cunt ever put in was getting caught being sucked off by a rough as you like black street walking prostitute!! I laughed so hard the old “ died laughing “ line was almost proved to be true!!
      funnier still at that time his girlfriend was Liz Hurley who was touted as being one of the Worlds hottest women??
      Obviously not so hot in the sack!! 😂
      And no one dimensional actor list would be complete without part time professional cockney wanker ray ” fuckin” winstone!! Saw him in the sweeney recently, he definitely had some input into the script!, how else on earth could you possibly explain the blubber whaled fat cunt shagging the young enough to be his daughter hotty in the film?

      • Forget to mention although freeman’s adverts are excruciatingly annoying for me it’s not in the same league as
        Paddy powers singing raspberry at football!!
        Ray “ gertcha” winstone 365
        Or the Xmas offering from the right on PC brigade at John Lewis with their noncy monster under the bed!!
        I’m completely unable to watch any of them and thank the gods for my remote control!!

      • That monster under the bed looks suspiciously like Nigel Hawthorne round the eyes…

        In any case, that kid’s gender-fluid parent/s need/s to clean under the bed more often…

        Did you see what I did there ?

        No wish to upset Mrs. Dio, Lady Stoke or the redoubtable Mrs. West over hoovering duties…
        It could even be orfspring of a single parent…

  2. And let’s not forget that if you were to guillotine this sack of shit, ‘Labour’ would be written through him like a stick of rock. Not that he’d be any better being an advocate of any other political party.

    • Freeman probably comes out about 50/50 in the voter attraction/repulsion stakes, unlike Izzard who must send whole swathes of swing and Labour voters into the arms of the Tories whenever his pink beret pokes above the parapet!

      • We really need an “old labour” party as no point in voting for them anymore with the leadership and direction they have went. I’ve voted for them all my life but no more.

        They will only get worse and imagine if they won an election? He couldn’t use the front bench he has just now, he would need to get some back benchers down or he and we would be totally fucked.

        But as long as he got sang to at festival’s, he’d think he’s fucking magic and doing a good job.

  3. Empire you are a complete and utter knob. Martin is not British he is American. He is also black and much older than the wanker in the photo. I thought he was particularly good in “Shawshank Redemption” and “Seven” and he was definitely not in “The Office”……unless he was that black bloke transferred from the Reading office. Get your facts right for fucks sake.

  4. Imo, he was actually ok in ‘The Office’, apart from the sicky sentimental bits which were probably down to Gerbil anyway. Since then he’s undoubtedly been wall to wall shite, in fact only outcunted in ‘Sherlock’ by mega-cunt Cunterfuck himself.

    However, the fact he’s a Labour luvvie activist totally puts the tin fucking lid on it! And those recent adverts, what the fuck are they even selling, Irritable Bowel Syndrome?

    Fuck off back to Middle Earth with Comrade Corbyn and the fairies where you both belong.

    • More or less agreed Shitcake,

      I do feel that some of the earlier Sherlock’s were of a decent quality, however totally accept that the later series have deteriorated into pretentious twaddle.

      Like you cannot not keen on spoilt posh boy Cumberbitch, seriously up himself despite what he says.

      • To be honest Willie I would be hard pressed to think of anyone on my telly these days who is not a steaming pile of cuntage.

        Btw – where the fuck did Dick Fiddler’s post go???

      • Shit…rampant dementia rules! It was just below this one all the time! What a silly bunt…

  5. You forgot to mention his party political broadcast which firmly established him in the firmament of cunts.

  6. Fuck me. With all due respect, I can just about hear the bottom of the barrel being scraped. I’ve just looked the Cunt up and he seems the very definition of innocuous.

    Are we moving onto Guide Dogs for the Blind next? Complete with a photo of a labrador puppy,probably.

    Sorry, TECB, I always enjoy your contributions,but I’m struggling with this one.

  7. Don’t know anything about him. OK in Office, good in Fargo. Sherlock was all round shite anyway and he was in the shadow of uber cunt Bendidick. Haven’t seen him anywhere else, so cant judge.

  8. Martin Freeperson is a cunt… A Labour Luvvie who is rolling in it… Goes on about how nasty the Tories are, yet loves Corbyn and his ilk… Freeperson the millionaire going on about how the Tories are bringers of poverty and how Labour would be great and make everything tickety fucking boo…. Not unlike that fat tribute act cunt, Shagalotte Church or that other cunt, Hairy Mulligan…. One of the worst type of Labour supporters: the rich luvvie cunt, pretending they give a fuck about the sick, poor, and elderly and who have never done a proper day’s work….

    Freeperson also cannot act… Like Jimmy Nesbitt, he’s the frigging same in everything he’s in… Not a fan of Cuntberbatch, but at least he can act a bit….
    And Freeperson also unleashed the horrendous Amanda Abbington (his tax dodging talent-free girlfriend) onto our screens… Sherlock wasn’t great to start with (with Moffat and Gatiss in charge, it was never going to be), but Abbington as ‘Mary Watson’ totally destroyed any chance it might have had… So, maybe if he got his bit on the side to hasten the demise of Sherlock, maybe Freeperson isn’t that bad after all?… Ah fuck it, he’s a cunt and his bird is even worse…

    • James Nesbitt.

      Remember watching him a few years ago in a BBC TV drama entitled “The Missing”. Surely one of the most depressing and shittiest series ever made. A poor UK/French joint effort.

      My masochistic tendencies forced me to watch it from beginning to end. Realised soon on that the original trailer 30 second trailer was by far the best thing about the series. Hated the story line and hated all of the actors in it. Did not care what happened to any of them. Particularly Jimmy boy. Northern Irish cunt who cannot act to save his life and vain enough to get himself a hair transplant.

      Even the usually reliable Ken Stott was disappointing.

      Eight hours of my life completely wasted. For obvious reasons did not bother with the second series.

  9. Even though he’s not doing anything at the moment, Gervais is still a cunt. I feel Freeman is just guilty by association.

  10. Glad to join in on this verbal onslaught of the bloodhound-faced, wooden wankmonger.

    His acting skills are comparable to those of the late, great Roger Moore. Moore admitted himself he was wooden, but he had charm and charisma in spades.

    The Labour loving, plastic socialist Freeman has all the charm and charisma of a Wartner-resistant verruca.

    His ex Amanda Abbington reminds me of the child catcher from the Chitty Bang Bang film, with her pointy nose and beady eyes.

  11. “Kidnapped British missionary was shot dead by Nigerian gang after singing Amazing Grace to lift fellow captives’ spirits.”

    …………………………………..
    I hope that this story serves as a warning to any carol singers who might even be considering attempting to inflict their fuckwittery anywhere near me this year.
    Fuck them.

    • If you went around knocking on doors and saying “please give me some money” you would probably be breaking the law, but if you sing “please give me some money”, well that’s all right.

    • also the Sally Army will soon be upon us, with their “mournfull sagbutts and cornetts”

      When I lived in Switzerland, I came across a solitary commissioner rattling his tin outside the local dept. store.

      So bloody relieved was I that there was a total lack of brass instruments in the vicinity, that I was easily duped into giving him a 5 franc coin.

      To my horror, when I was queuing up for the trolley home, my lugholes were assaulted by some jazzed up (jizzed up??) carol, emanating from the SA fuckers standing by the church near the bus stops.
      We were a captive “audience”, directly in the firing lines of their weapons of mass distress.

      Cunts. For a moment, they had me fooled. And there wasn’t an alphorn in sight, sadly (they are rather nice, but being so very famously Swiss, they originated in Latin America…)

      • Bit that pisses me about the Salvo campaign and the other charities that have followed is the request to text to donate a specific amount such as £19.

        What if I only wanted to donate £2? …..is that not good enough?

        Well I only have £2 spare so I may as well keep it as it won’t even buy water for Kyundai, the latest arrival to the camp. He’s the one that cries like fuck when the bongo bongo nurse tries to impale him with a stethoscope.

        Probably has a drawing pin blu tacked to the listeney part.

        Its also a piss boiler that if you are silly enough to text a donation that you will be pestered for life from other charity mugger who got your number as it was passed around the cunts circle having identified you as a right mug

        Its then sold to the PPI, sick holiday cunts as part of a CD-ROM collection that started off with “Now Thats What I Call Mugs”.

        They’re onto Vol 12547 now.

  12. His face in those adverts irritates me too, but then all television adverts have that effect because they’re made for stupid tossers. When was the last time you saw an ad on tv and said ‘Oh that looks good, I’ll have to buy one of those’? It’s never happened to me once. Only fucking idiots take any notice of them, and those are the people they’re aimed at.

    • I saw one once while flicking through the channels but then realised that Babestation was not actually the shopping channel when I phoned the number on screen to place an order.

    • I saw an ad last week that was for a baby doll that you feed Plasticine and it then shite it out.
      The next day there was one for a toy dog that did the same.

      Bravo to the inventor.

  13. Fuck me in the bunghole with a baseball bat! Just heard Liz Truss talking 70% sense on ‘Any Questions?’… Strange days indeed.

  14. I just need to re-cunt Emma Thompson for showing up at a rally despite suffering from ‘pneumonia’!!! to support that Nazanin woman in jail in Iran. Oh do fuck off you fucking attention seeking dollop of fanny batter. For 1 it’s probably a fuckin cold and for 2 I bet she was doing more than just holidaying in that shit hole. Oh and 3 who gives two fucks. I didn’t see the fucking leftmong protesting when I got locked up in the 80’s for being drunk and a tad disorderly. Get your priorities right you sanctimonious bitch.

    • Just heard something on Sly news™, the captured one speaking live on air by telephone in Iran to the protesting cunts.

      She sounded in great spirits, mind you the prisons in Iran must be far plusher than ours with phones in their cells / suites.

      She knew the risks, she wasn’t just any old tourist, she has lived their previously and knows what the laws are. She knew exactly what she was doing.

      Everyone’s on Boris Johnsons case however he must have heard what he said, being said by someone else. He didn’t make that up did he? Why would he?

      I bet she’s being held “comfortably” & “diplomatically” after being caught and now awaiting the purchase of freedom of which knowing those cunts will be costly in terms of “monetary payments and lifting of sanctions” against them.

      All because one stupid bitch got caught…007 becomes “We owe” 7 millions worth of shit to a bunch of terrorists.

      • I agree but its our money that pays and our political pressure on them cunts to be more human will be relaxed.

        At least we know she’s not a double agent?

    • Of course not pneumonia! What sort of thick cunts does the soppy cow take the British public for? Oh yeah…doubt it’s even man-flu!

      Attention seeking publicity hungry has been never was slut-bitch fuck.

  16. Chris Trace was sacked from Blue Peter just for being divorced. Wouldn’t do for us 6 year-olds to be broadcast to by such an evil beast! Never heard he felt up Valerie Singleton though. Mind you, even though I was a kid, I’d have jumped at the chance! Phwoarrr…!

  17. Actors orf stature were generally patriots having experienced the war and felt they had a duty to the public. Dear Noel, a touch lavender admittedly, was as brave as they come and endured many hazardous flights and sea voyages to entertain the troops overseas. Like virtually all of Britain they did their bit. The rot set in in the sixties and accelerated in the seventies when the Redgrave children discovered Agit Prop and set oit to become commie arseholes.

    Corin Redgrave (the brother now croaked who used to march aboit with red steam coming oit his arse) founded with his sister the WRP (Workers Revolutionary Party), a right bunch orf ultra Trot cunts with whom Yours Truly had a number orf run-ins. Tried to black me old arse in West End once and having failed tried to picket me nubile fillies going in at Stage Door and then tried a demo orn stage. Soon sorted the scruffy cunts oit. Rather enjoyed it. Lovely publicity.

    Knew in passing old man Redgrave, Sir Michael. Quite a gent but liked to play both ways as we used to say in my day. Rather notorious. Quite a scandal when it came oit. He and the missis (Rachel Kempson) lived separate lives.

    Basically the luvvie cunts learn the poliical bollocks at drama school now. Tutors are usually failed actors with a grudge. All the worst actors I have ever known have gone on to lecture at drama schools. Being “politically active” gives the cunts a status and an illusion orf control.

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