Jack Whitehall deserves nothing less than to suffer all nine circles of Dante’s Inferno.
This 24-carat cunt is the epitome of of posh-cunt lad-banter cringeworthiness – about as fucking funny as an unanaesthetised castration with ‘wit’ equally as painful to match. That series on Al-BBC with him and his cunt of a dad was enough to warrant a jihad declaration on his entire family.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back
Jack Whitehall deserves nothing less than to suffer all nine circles of Dante’s Inferno.
This 24-carat cunt is the epitome of of posh-cunt lad-banter cringeworthiness – about as fucking funny as an unanaesthetised castration with ‘wit’ equally as painful to match. That series on Al-BBC with him and his cunt of a dad was enough to warrant a jihad declaration on his entire family.
Continuing on from Liberal Liquidator’s solid observations above, the Al-BBC appears to be the shit-gravy train for pretentious, chumley posh cunts/Oxbridge grads with minamal-to-zero talent; getting a leg up thanks to background/connections. Witness elite tier cunts such as Miles Jupp, Tom Hollander, Armando Iannucci, Stewart Lee, David Mitchell, Robert Webb, Sue Perkins, Richard Ayoade, David Baddiel and despite not being of Oxbridge stock – but having one of the most priveliged backgrounds in British history – who could forget substantial behemoth man-beast Miranda Hart.
Miranda Hart is the metaphorical equivalent of a rare KitKat that due to a fault on the production line is 100% solid chocolate. In Hart’s case, 100% solid cunt. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore. Well, except for Jack Shitehall that is.
9
What’s the difference between a Kit-Kat and Miranda Hart’s box?
You only get four fingers in a Kit-Kat…
5
Lol. Miranda Hart’s enormous box has it’s own system of post codes, and even a subdivision of air-traffic control.
4
Saw that utter Saturn sized cunt, Ace/King/Queen/Jack Monroe on the telly: ‘Campaigning’ to ‘raise awareness’ about struggling families having to choose between paying for either heat or food this Winter… Pull the other one, cunt! It’s got fucking bells on!
7
And we are held to ransom to pay these cunts wages obtained through the corrupt ABBC from the tv licence fiasco.
3
100 PC agree – what a cunt – Bring on the fatwa
Surely this cant be the first time this guilt edged cunt has been nominated.
10
Terminally tedious bearded arsehole with a supercillious stare.
Gives an air of complete superiority, but based on precisely what qualities, I am very uncertain.
As amusing as lower spinal cancer. A bona-fide, certifiable cuntchops.
14
His surname is too alarmingly close to Wetminster…
That alone is cuntish…
6
Never heard of this cunt and had to look him up. Described as a Comedian, awesome talent, and a legend in the industry. Really?
It seems anyone who can raise a giggle is an awesome talent these days. If you can make at least two of your audience laugh, then you are a legend.
My advice to this little feckless twat is simple. Study the art of some real comedy legends ( and there are many ) and then go slit your throat you useless vacuous piece of frog spawn. Legend you are fucking not!
15
I just don’t get modern comedians. They are all un-funny cunts. They play to thousands of sawdust brained termites on nationwide tours. Michael McIntyre in particular has on a few occasions made me consider moving to the Isle of Sark.
17
Perhaps it is an age thing. Like you I find Michael McIntyre deeply unfunny, his humor being banal and childish. Staggering to think he was the highest earning comedian in the world in 2012, his tour grossing £21m!! He describes himself as being a bit like Marmite. Brown (or more orange really) and a bit like shit? Of the Seasoned campaigners Lee Mack always good for a giggle, as is Sean Lock and Mickey Flanagan (in my humble opinion) however the up and coming comics of today (such as Jack Whithall have nothing new to say, it is too safe, and leaves me completely cold.
13
Mack is good and very quick. Have seen Sean Lock live and was a bit hit & miss but definitely something twisted inside which is good. Love Flanagan. Jimmy Carr very edgy, and I suspect in line with this site’s ethos. Frankie Boyle can be brilliant, although Boyle too right-on for me to completely get on with. Cant think of anyone else.
Whitehall a cunt as eloquently explained above. Didn’t realise Macintyre was a comedian. Just thought he was a fat, floppy haired cunt who ‘noticed’ things.
Prefer the old school – Chubby, Manning, Carson, Bowen, Dawson and of course Cook on his own as well as the wonderful Derek & Clive (You Caant)
11
Mickey Flanagan is a Cockney gobshite, he has a habit when on panel shows of telling what he thinks is a funny joke then staring at the audience until they laugh.
A comedy cunt of the highest order.
12
McIntyre … well summed up there as simply being a ‘noticer’ … fuck all funny there.
9
Forgot about Jimmy Carr, he can be absolutely brilliant when on form. Extremely cutting and demeaning in a stylish and joyous way. Fantastic host on EOOTC. Completely agree about Frankie Boyle. Once brilliant, but get the distinct impressiion he is a bit past his sell by date and has lost his edge. Bit of a sad character now and should look to bow out gracefully.
10
Am I correct in thinking most of these cunts are fed to us via that “Live at the Apollo” shite, a show that can only be described as a introduction / talent show where everyone is branded a winner by the host.
The rest seem to come via other shit ABBC programming, where these “funny” cunts appear as part of a panel of cunts competing against each other.
After several appearances their names become engrained and somehow its as if we have known them forever.
“Programming” at its best though the content fed is just a load of shit.
14
Obviously got a serious leg up from his wealthy, well connected, in the business daddy.
Given a fantastic education throughout his life and got a 2.2. in being a posh, lefty leaning (there’s a surprise) unfunny cunt.
Fucking cunt…
15
His mum probably sucks cock for money as well
8
These days his mother probably wears combat boots.
5
And that’s coming from the funniest guy i know.
Keep up the brilliance, J R Cuntley.
8
I get more laughs from this fine website than I’ll ever see from twats like Jack Shitehall…
23
100% – who needs the witless cunts above when you’ve got IAC? Watered down minge-juice bottlers all.
Except for Lee Mack in the first series of Not Going Out – or the Godfathers of Cunt: Derek & Clive!
13
You are not wrong Mr B.
Mrs WS gives always me the strangest of looks when I chuckle contentedly to myself when on the IAC website. Many profound, thoughtful and humorous observations about the stupid, the downright ridiculous and highly illogical shit going on in the world. I suspect I would go completely insane were it not for my daily pressure release dosage of IAC.
Many thanks to the IAC administrators.
14
No worries of any of the ABBC’s comedian cunts using material from here. They would be sacked following peaceful complaints.
That Barry Took cunt disappeared from Points of View just in time, he saw this shit storm coming our way just like Enoch did.
Bet it “Took” him most of the week to sift through the Yew Tree complaint shit that his bosses turned a blind eye.
6
fuck. anyone listen to james o’ briern this morning. he was really giving it some!. anyone who voted brexit is a certifiable moron apparently. he was asking for listeners to phone in and explain whats good about it and promising he could destroy any argument you care to come up with. ( does help when you can always give yourself the last word ) also he won’t be presenting Newsnight anymore because he was unable to toe the line on impartiality, especially when it comes to brexit. anyone brave enough to phone his show?
7
Ah shit, not fucking Lord Haw Haw again…?
O’Brian spent at least 20 minutes this morning frothing relentlessly on and on about how ABSOLUTELY NO-ONE on the Leave side ever said ANYTHING during the Referendum about leaving the Single Market or the Customs Union!!
FFS! If you weren’t a Leaver before exposure to O’Brian, you’d have to be a total dingbat not to be a committed Brexiteer afterwards.
And for the record, something like 98% of Leave campaigners and 80% of Remainers (including Cameron, Osborne & Clegg) made it abundantly clear that voting Leave would mean coming out of the Single Market & the Customs Union!
But lying about what Leavers said – then and now – is O’Brian’s USP, along with defensively slagging off fellow LBC presenter Nigel Farage at every opportunity, of course.
15
Another favourite is wheeling out the £350M written on the side of the bus that would be ours to spend on areas in need of money such as the NHS.
Remoaners continue to ask why the NHS isn’t getting any of that £350M. Don’t they realise we have not left yet and are still paying it to them or are they just being cunty?
9
James O’Brian’s Daily rants re £350million for NHS ‘lies’ really do my head in. Not content with misrepresenting what was actually written on the bus he then adds insult to injury by attributing the ‘lie’ to Nigel Farage, who had nothing to do with the Leave claim in the first place!
O’Brian presides over 3 hours wall-to-wall Project Fear every weekday morning on LBC between 10am-1pm. I catch him occasionally if I’ve had Ferrari on before to accompany my morning shit and fail to switch off too late.
You have been warned…
10
LBC presenters are very good at controlling the microphones of callers.
If they ain’t just cutting them off completely, they fade their volume down to that of the little Chicaboo “Hooks” from Police Academy.
They can then easily talk right over the top of any caller having a valid point to defend.
5
James O’Brien has a face I could punch until I die of exhaustion.
2
Wonky eyed Russell Howard is a fucking prick.
11
I suspect he enjoys close relations with his mother.
5
I’d just like a quick whinge about the “celebrity” guests on Countdown. It’s the old Cunt who was Boycie in Only Fools and Horses this week. I’d happily assumed the old bastard was dead,but apparently not. However,enough of my distain for coffin-dodging old wankers My complaint about the guests is the way that they pretend to always have the top-rated word. No matter that they sometimes don’t know how to pronounce it properly,or what it means, they invariably claim that they had it.
I can only assume that being a Z-list “celebrity” makes you a brilliant wordsmith capable of winning every edition of Countdown….Who’d have guessed?
Fuck them.
7
Rachel Riley is all I focus on if countdown is on.:p
3
Susie Dent is my secret fantasy. Havent seen the daytime programme but when 8 out of 10 version airs I get all unnecessary when Susie is on.
2
Whitehall apparently goes out with Gemma Chan. I’d happily give Gemma Chan a “gutter-flush”. Crusted port would be my beverage of choice,that way any lumpy bits wouldn’t be quite so upsetting.
4
Gemma Collins……two days ago………The Sun……..see through swimsuit………. Oh…….yeah!!!……
1
Hells teeth, Birdman. The thought of Gemma Collins splaying his arsecheeks and then squatting over my face while dribbling the finest Crusted port out of her orifices is truly harrowing.
4
Gemma Collins is like Miss Piggy after 200 Big Macs…
Angela White… Now that’s a big girl I wouldn’t mind giving a good going over…
2
I bet she will be like Grandma Libby Ellis when she’s older if she doesn’t give a shit now.
1
Some Muslim named cunt has tweeted ” three dead in Walmart shooting but he didn’t shout Alia Akbar so no biggie”
The cunts missing the point here.
Murder is murder, but a group of like minded scumbag cunts all over the globe pulling of murderous attacks in the name of Islam is fuckin terrorism committed by cunts who sneaked their way into our countries and are killing us in large numbers.
That’s why terrorist attacks by you cunts is a “biggie”
Cunt
13
Jeseus really this effeminate slimy syring of piss has never been cunted???.
His not a comedian his a extremely privileged girly unfunny posh twat playing at being a comedian, and a shite one at that. His never worked a real job in his life and has no life experience so how the fuck can he do comedy? Going to make jokes about the house staff or the joys of being David Cameron s fag at eton.
A funny word has ever crossed this camp weedy spunk bubbles lips . A total condescending know everything millennial nothing cunt who has his daddy to thank for everything his got as if he were nt his son he be sucking dicks for cash in Soho s red light district.
As you may be able to tell i really disapprove of this bandy armed weak kneed girly boy .
10
Will probably go through live telling others stories like they are his own.
Jack by name, Jackanory by nature….and a cunt into the bargain.
1
Jack Shitehall more like.
6
The bank rate has gone up 0.25% today.
Which means of course that the top cunt known as Mark Carney has earned his £650k salary for this year.
Stupid cunt has raised rates to counteract the 0.25% he put it down last year because of the ‘effects of Brexit’. Got that a bit wrong then didn’t you Mark?
The economy didn’t collapse the day after the referendum as he said it would, unemployment is down and investment is up.
What is the cunt going to do and predict wrong next?
21
Carnie is a cunt who consistently gets everyfuckingthing wrong. Should have gone the day after the brexit vote when the country didn’t collapse as he and Gideon predicted.
2
Let’s not forget that JACK WHITEHALL famously upset PRINCESS EUGENIE after she received an explicit text about his manhood sent from his phone. But it seems she has got her own back — by claiming he has a tiny todger.
Looks like he is a pervert as well
7
She’s probably more used to seeing her father’s good friend Jeffrey Epstein’s cock.
3
I’ve just seen Pat Sharp on the telly. I wonder how many hours Operation Yewtree wasted investigating the totally innocent Mr. Sharp. I wonder what happened to those young blond twins who presented “Pat Sharp’s Fun House” with him? ….Probably both became teenage mothers with babies who sported a mullet hair style.
10
You should invite them to one of your famous house parties Mr Fiddler.
http://www.funhousetwins.co.uk
4
They’ve aged better than I’d have expected. Most women go to seed after popping a kid out. Too busy sitting around eating chocolate and watching daytime telly when they should be trying to lose a bit of weight and get some tightness back into themselves. No husband should have to come back from work to a wife who has no regard for her partner’s needs
5
I think he was on that Saturday morning shite, No 73 with that Sandy Tossvig as well.
1
Three quick observations having just seen some of Channel 4 news:
1/ That Gavin Williamson’s a creepy looking dude.
2/ That Esther Mcvey’s a mucky looking filly.
3/ That Vince Cable’s still a stupid wobbly old cunt.
9
Not usually into coarse spoken milfs, but could probably fuck Esther Mcvey ragged if you paid me.
5
I would need 4 pints.
3
McVey?! Nah! She’s a Scouser….
3
She’ll lift your wallet whilst you are working on her from behind.
5
Williamson reminds me of Frank Spencer
3
“Ooh Betty I made a whoopsie in front of the paras”
6
Cricket a know the girl accusing Labour MP Kelvin Hopkins of sexual harassment.Hope I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t to her at a drunken party.
1
#Crikey I
Oh shit I leant on her when I had a bad knee after getting drunk at a party.Nice knowing you all.
3
Sounds like ideal Saturday night entertainment, or maybe have them run The Eliminator like at the end of Gladiators with a peaceful in a suicide belt ten seconds behind.
3
Who is this fuckhead? is he James Cordens butt buddy or something? when I first saw the photo I thought it was a skinny clone of Corden I don’t watch alot of tv and I avoid it as much as possible
5
I reckon Hopkins is guilty in all seriousness the lady making the complaint is a reliable individual who is not the sort to make unfounded allegations.I say that as someone who knows both her and those who have wilfully mislead people in the past.I would be astounded if she was in any way fabricating or exaggerating.
2
I believe her not because I know who she is but because I know labour is trash, and to be fair so are the Tories they are all a bunch of thieving chin stroking liars
4
My impression of her always was that she was far too nice in principled to succeed in Labour .A massive Miliband and Corby critic who referred to the pair as fucking weirdos.I have a pic of us together but won’t share it.Although me being an ISAC admin and her being a Labour activist I don’t know who has more to lose.:p
2
Fact is she is very anti Cornyn yet when I last saw her Hopkins was promoted to the front bench yet she said nothing.Am under the impression that were she an opportunist she would have brought it up.
2
If you ever get accused of molesting a 14 yr old boy just take the Kevin Spacey defense “I molested you when you were 14?! Haha jokes on you I’m really just a gay drunk, nice try buster”
7
Spacey has confirmed my suspicions on what most poofs are really after. This is why I think that a great deal of care should be taken before they are allowed to adopt children,or even have unsupervised access to children…..although I’m bound to say that they’re probably not all the same.
6
Young fresh meat and the thrive on the knowledge they have fucked up and scarred somebody for life who will likely remain on the “wrong” bus for life.
I bet that some victims end up so screwed up that they go out and do the same, keeping the circle going round.
Gaddafi had the right idea how to do things.
Our country preaches how other countries are to behave when they have buggered our own up.
3
I miss many things about Blighty. Harvey’s Best Bitter, BBQ beef flavour Hula Hoops, sausage rolls, extreme sarcasm to name but a few. One of the benefits of being a UK escapee however, is not knowing who some of the cunts are who appear on the rather wonderful, informative and often extremely funny ISAC website. Case in point, Jack Whitehall. I have never heard of him. I’ll bet many of my fellow cunters wish they could say the same. 🙂
6
You never know IY, he might head out to the US and get himself a chat show gig like that fat sack of shit James Corden. There’s no escape from that cunt.
6
Stranger things have indeed happened, GJ. Corden really does come across as a smug arrogant cunt. Waterboarding was invented for tossers like him.
5
I see he has a new lacklustre vehicle on Sky alongside early 90’s one-hit movie wonder Rosie Perez (White Men Can’t Jump).
I have no idea if it’s a comedy or action thing – alas neither do they apparently!
Christ, Rosie’s looking rough, even though I’d have put up with hearing: “Lookad dyu!” every 2 mins (as in White Men Can’t Jump) as she had a lovely figure in that film.
Is appreciating the female form classed as sexual abuse nowadays? Shhh, say nowt!
3
Slight uncunting for the eyebrow mong that is Noel Gallagher. I saw a clip earlier of him commenting on recent terror attacks. The gist was…
“I catch the tube in London, my kids catch the tube, and you have all these bombers running around, and this government, the last government, and the next government won’t do a fucking thing about it because of some hippy crap about religious beliefs. Fuck those cunts, that’s what I say.”
11
QT tonight was pitiful. At one end of the bench was some SNP harridan who, by far, got the most words in. She was ably assisted by some Scottish Labour Doris and good old Owen ‘The only gay in the village’ Jones.
Daniel Hannan simply wasn’t a match for the tri-headed socialist Hydra. He did his best but it really needed an injection of Farage or the Mogg to quell the evil beast.
5
I vowed to never watch QT again after the election because the bias was beyond apalling. But funny you mention Hannan being outnumbered because I’ve seen him in that situation a few times on QT/Daily Politics etc.
The crowds in Scotland are generally loathe to anything Tory despite their improved position there. Doesn’t surprise me therefore to see socialist bollocks getting the furtive BBC handclapping.
And I can only assume that representing the SNP requires 10th-dan black-belt cuntitude as a pre-requisite; I’ve not ever seen a merely moderate SNP cunt.
2
BIG cunting incoming for MP Andrea Leadsom.
Turns out she was the one behind former Secretary of State for Defence, Sir Michael Fallon, being fired from his position yesterday.
The reason?
He once put his arm around her. And on another occasion, quipped that, when she complained of having cold hands, “I know where you could put them to warm them up”.
That’s it. That’s all it takes, folks. A reputation ruined and a political career on the rocks. For that.
Fallon, in my opinion, is something of a cunt and not really that appealling to me as a Tory voter. I also think he is incompetent and very much disagree with some of the defence policies operating around cuts and associated. But no-one deserves to be dragged through the coals for that.
On the flipside, Julia Hartley-Brewer, when asked about a time when Fallon touched her knee, dismissed the incident as ‘laughable’. That, to me, is the proper reaction. As an aside I’m beginning to think that JHB is the perfect woman.
Leadsom of course has shown her opportunistic tendencies before, attempting a smash ‘n’ grab raid for Tory leadership in the wake of the pig fucker’s confusing departure. This cunt clearly will do anything to further her career and even worse, has helped prove that men don’t need to be given a fair hearing before a dismissal or punishment for an admittedly clumsy, but ultimately harmless crude remark.
I’ve had females in the workplace say far worse to me and others than that level of comment. Until the last few years, I thought nothing of it, but Leadsom, like so many others, constantly serves to remind us how damaging opportunistic cunts can be when they use the guise of sexual victimhood to apply to any unwanted attention.
Leadsom is a cunt who deserves a Hellraiser-style crucification. I’d only be too happy to hand-forge the chains and barbed hooks for the occasion.
5
Andrea Loathsome.
That lisping, gobby socialist Nandy is attempting to make as much political capital from this as she can as well.
Fuck them all.
2
I expected better from Randy Nandy….Ooops, sorry Lise.
Think the ABBC must have got to her through her presence on the post QT show hosted by that shredded wheat headed cunt.
Just thinking, how many comedians are actually born through other channels other than the ABBC.
0
The (Sweeney) Stasi,
The Stasi!
Dah, Dah dah-dah daaaaa, dah du dah dah!
——
“‘Ere you, scroat!?!” (BOP!)
2hrs later in Flying Squad HQ…
“Waaaa, waaht happened?”
“You’re nicked sanshoine! We was towld you ‘eld a door open forra bird and she’s grassed you ap as pervert sex offendah!”
“But, but, but…”
“Worra you? A fackin’ Indian! We got you banged to rights and you’re goin’ darn and forra lorng toime moy san!”
4hrs later in a Brixton surveillance unit…
“Ere gav! Wots this?”
“Wot!?!”
“Two blokes wiv’s shootahs.”
“Naaah, Carter you plam! That’s jast Mr Khan and Mr Mohamed. Are you radio-facking-rental!?! You won’t find two more stand-ap geezers than those two!”
“Bat gav, the shootahs?”
“Jast toys.”
“But the van full of fosgene gas?”
“Well maybes they’re doing sam paint work or sammink!”
“Rental van?”
“So!”
“And the twelve year old girl who looks stoned?”
“…a niece…”
“…in ‘ahhhnd-caffs?”
“Jast fan and games Carter you nonce!”
“Sorry gav.”
“It’s alright Carter, it’s good to be keen. No need forra report.”
—-
“OY! Wot’s this!”
“What!?!”
“This fence YOU CANT!”
“Er, well, it’s a picket fence…?”
“Yes, bat, worts wrong wiv’ it?”
“Er, is it too high?”
“Naw! Troy again.”
“Er, the chevrons too pointy??”
“Naw, naw, naw! You mast troy ‘arder san! Wort calah is it!”
“Er…white…?”
“Ahhhnd wot ovah calah?”
“Well, er, it’s all white, it’s a picket fence you see and…”
“Shat it! You’re nicked! Carter send this one darn for a long time on the race relations act 1984!”
—-
“Gav? Reports of a sex offender in Dulwich!”
“A nonce! Right let’s gaw!”
…
“OY YOU! NONCE CANT!”
“Are you speaking to moi?”
“Yes oy am! So wots your story feeling up the women in these swimming baths changing rooms then?”
“I beg your pardon!?! I am a woman today! And therefore when I say it, it’s true!”
“Well, er, I don’t know if that’s right but I…”
“Oh you DON’T do you! Well why don’t you ask your boss Cresida?”
“Cresida Dick?”
“She prefers ‘Cresida Strapon’ darling. Not too worry. She was just in earlier in the sauna having her bean flicked by that naughty young Polish pool attendent filly.”
“Er, she was was she?”
“Yes she was Inspector Reagan.”
(GULP!)”You know who oy am?”
“Of course dear. Cresida has a soft spot for you as you’re so right-on!”
“Aw…well in that case. Sorry to ‘ave disturbed you mam.”
“Not to worry inspector. Now can I have my camera back as there’s a woman just gone into cubicle 2 who’s got the most delightful fanny just like a boxer’s nose, and I’d like a few snaps for when I decide I’m a man again.”
“Er, yes, of course mam. Carter! Give the – er – lady her camera back with the telephoto lens.”
—-
Next week: Reagan and Carter help a traveller community ransack a small village in the Cotswolds for quite clearly being racist…
14
Best entry ever posted.
5
Empire had a good point about Leadsom and Fallon. What makes me laugh about the current sex scandal is its focus on white, rich women who have been allegedly touched up or propositioned by some cunt. The usual suspects at the Guardian and the so-called BBC are getting their knickers in a right old twist about this shit.
But when it comes to nonwhite girls having their genitals brutally mutilated or poor girls of all colours and backgrounds being abused on an industrial scale they don’t want to know. Utter, utter cunts. On their own terms, they are both racist and sexist.
Perhaps Weinstein and co should use the religious justification in favour of sexual harassment like this mad fuck…
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/egypt-lawyer-rape-girls-revealing-clothing-ripped-jeans-nabih-al-wahsh-a8030831.html
Full details here…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2017/11/03/quote-of-the-day-34/
2