Children in Need [2]

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knitted chugger cunt


Is it too early to nominate Children in Africa – sorry – Children in Need for a cunting?

A night of ABBC cringe-worthy programming interspersed with famous cunts in Africa still following M’Tebe on his 8 mile walk to get a pail of water liberally mixed with bison piss only to walk back again.

“And it takes M’Tebe all day to do this. And the next day he sets off again. It’s a never ending battle just to get this most basic provision.”

Hey Ewan MacGregor, while you’re there, why not tell M’Tebe to move nearer to the fucking water? Oh, and while you’re on, instead of interviewing the hand-wringing mothers and their rotund bellied offspring, how about finding one of the papa-san’s who’s responsible for continually impregnating them? Oh, and don’t wait for the cunt to take off his AK-47 and dual bandoleros of 7.62 rifle rounds!

The ABBC will throw in the odd token local raspberry foundation story but – like Sir Cunt Geldof before them – the real story of the night is Africa.

It’s not that I’m unsympathetic to the plight of the starving millions in the dark continent, it’s just that after 40yrs and billions of pounds in worldwide aid, nothing has changed. Millions still starving, countries still run by tyrannical despots (who annex said monies/aid for themselves or to then sell it on to the peoples it was intended for in the first place), and the rich and famous still using it as a vehicle to signal how virtuous and caring they are, when the reality is that we all know they’re cunts at heart!

I used to be duped into giving to Pudsey and his clan but when I hit my 30’s I decided that the money would actually do more good in my own arse pocket because once the exec administrators have taken their cut, the aid facilitators taken their cut, the transporters taken their cut – only for the remainder to be annexed by the destinating Govt – poor old M’Tebe is lucky if there’s enough left to afford him an extra fly to go along with his 2 grains of rice and glass of bison piss!

Fuck off Children in Need!

And fuck off ABBC! If you’re that bothered about children, then please explain Savile? You cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

114 thoughts on “Children in Need [2]”

  1. Top, top cunting and very little to add except that Children In Need, along with Comic Relief and the next re-re-re-release of Band Aid, are all birds of a shit-feather, duping you into lining the pockets of African despots since 1984.

    I would love for someone to do a fully detailed study into how much as been donated to charities promoting work/aid in Africa. I think as equally as shocking as where the money has gone is the extortionate salaries execs for Oxfam and the like command… £120k+ if memory serves correctly.

    If a life-size Pudsey gets in my way this weekend, I will seriously consider punching the fucker to the floor.

    • Not much chance of that happening TECB, those so called charities know how to collect their pound of flesh!!
      Maybe they should cut out the children ( middle man) and just do a charity execs in need appeal ? ……..

    • Indeed, Saint Joe Cox’s hubby was a senior gaffer at Save the children – £120K + expenses + £11k a year for his pension pot – left for not saving the children but fiddling with his female colleagues, nowhere to be seen days after St Joe’s murder – also worked as an advisor to Brown the one eyed clown and big mates with Barry Soetoro.
      The cunts on lifetime gravy charridy trains are massive.
      Imagine being hungry and fat celeb bastards Henry and French turn up showing you what its like to eat 7 square meals a day and fly first class. The hypocrisy of the slebs, Execs, tin rattling cunts earning a nice wedge asking you, nay screaming at you to give them your fucking money Geldof style is stomach churning. Allegedly we don’t have any children in care over here apart from the obligatory ethnics kids who have been dumped by their wastrel fathers but we have loads of room for Syrian 22 year olds who crack on they are 16.
      When we have full employment, less of the brown, black, yellow, sandwogs to entertain, spare council housing and not a single white kid going hungry or being knocked around not a single penny will the yellow bear get from me – that’s ABBC off for the night. Oh – and in the last 40 years Africa has received half a trillion pounds in aid – that’s £500,000,000,000. Give a white man a fish and it will feed him for the day. Give an African a fishing rod and he will sell it. Fuck em!!

      • Yeah, he was a right cunt on his half million pound river boat. I know he obviously wasn’t getting much action at home while she was always overseas at every opportunity promoting British tourism to the peaceful religion worshipers. Maybe she wanted away from the embarrassing cunt.

        He should have saved the false tears, hoping for some female sympathy. The fluids retained could have been put towards a wank, like what he should have been faithfully doing years gone by.

        I hope we don’t have to suffer a “media memorial” for her every year, especially when they didn’t give much coverage to Lee Rigby, victim of the peaceful tourists his wife encouraged to come here.

      • I’d almost forgotten about her.

        Guess the Liebore party has some soppy book of never-never-forgetting with mawkish poetry included.

        Fackin cants.

  3. Off topic but hilarious.

    Greggs says ‘sorry’ for replacing baby Jesus with a sausage roll in nativity scene for Christmas ad .

    • Hope it was a beef sausage roll as pork in the gob is a no-no for followers of the Jewish faith. Talking of which, I’ve always wondered how Israeli women gives blow jobs. Are they sub-contracting this duty to their Palestinian maids? No, you silly cunt (me), they don’t eat pork either. I wonder who does it? Maybe some of those American actresses/celebrities/singers.

  4. Poor cunting. How are the corrupt officials and warlords of Africa to make ends meet without this? Geldof hasn’t enriched them for a while now. Give until it hurts.

    • Oh fuck CC you’ve made me feel all guilty! , fortunately I just found 2 old half full tubes of sunscreen!! , happy days…..
      sent them Hermes tracked !
      Delivery address….
      cunt Africa… c/o tax dodging bob geldof…….

  5. I’ve been following this brilliant site for a number of years now, but have never made a contribution due to the high quality of regularly submitted cunting’s. I’ve noticed you’ve got to be on the ball to cut the mustard on IAC!

    I can remain silent no fucking longer!

    I’m fucking sick of this shite being thrust upon us every year. The scrounging bastards! Are we British gullible or what? They’ve brainwashed into thinking that giving to charity is actually going to make a fucking difference to these poor unfortunate souls. I stopped giving to charity years ago when I found out hardly any of the money goes to where it’s supposed to, and if they say it does there fucking lying cunts!

    If anyone can be bothered to read it? I came across this great article on why we should stop giving to the African cause:

    http://plancksconstant.org/blog1/2006/12/stop-helping-africa.html

    Cunts!

      • Thanks, but you guys have got CUNTING the motherfuckers down to finest of an art!
        I’ll do my best to keep up?

    • “why we should stop giving to the African cause:” Because fuck Africa and fuck Africans is reason enough for me.

    • Welcome along, nice post with an informative link.

      Sterilisation, vasectomies and bromide tea would help a lot too.

      Alternatively, Rupert Murdoch could just give them all free SLY™ packages c/w internet porn to cure their boredom.

      What kind of parents would want to bring a child into the position of likely dying right in front of their eyes?

  6. Does this fucking thing still come on only once a year? it seems to be on every fucking week these days.

    I hate it with a passion and have never watched one min of it. Fucking micro celebs and z-listers mincing around trying to get you to donate your hard earned cash to a load of fucking Zulus so they can fuck and breed some more.

    Or they give it to cunts in countries who fucking despise the UK but can’t wait to get here and sponge of it while trying to kill us at the same time. The whole thing is so fucking sickening it’s enough to make a cat puke.

    Fuck of Pudsey Bear you’re a solid gold rat mother fucking son of a cock sucking whore.

    • I would crowdfund to send Pudsey off to one of the Baltic states.

      It seems they eat bears there.

      And the cunt would actually be doing something useful – feeding a hungry Latvian.

  7. Bravo RWAC!!
    Gem of a cunting, I particularly liked your main character M’TEBE your brought his hopeless plight into my lounge…
    Nice one……….

  8. Fuck Africa. More natural wealth than anywhere else in the World and run by crooks, lording it over a population of apathetic thickies.
    You’d almost think Geldof and his fellow scrounging shitstains like it that way…
    Cunts.

    • The average IQ of sub Sarahan Africa is about 70 which is lower than the IQ necessary to complete simple tasks. Even lower than necessary to join the US army.

      Hardly surprising that it is a shithole. So the chap that has an IQ of 85, which is very low, can rise to the top as the rest of the fuckers have no clue what is going on and then set about about raping the wealth of the nation.

      This means that the average thickie in the UK would be ‘brains of Africa’.

      Without ‘ol whitey’ the place would a god forsaken mess of tribal warfare…. Oh wait…….

    • Just take fucking Adolf Mugabe for instance? English colonialism helped Zimbabwe become a thriving country, then along came that CUNT who did his best to turn it back into a shithole!
      They couldn’t run a fucking bath!

      • Cunts could even farm their land, white man shows them and they dont care. White man establishes farm and makes a viable business providing wealth for country.

        Wogs uprise, repossess farms and run them back into ruin again as they are quite happy to sit around and wait to be fed.

        Them farming own food and water treatment is the road to survival without aid.

  9. I couldn’t give a fuck how many of the Cunts starve. I wouldn’t give the lazy, sponging wasters the skin off my shite. Too fucking idle to even wipe the flies off their own faces. You don’t see Chinky kids starving,they get put to work early and earn enough to buy themselves a couple of bowls of rice.
    I don’t care about the “special” schools over here that Children in Need claim to back either. I’ve nothing against Spaccas,but I don’t think that kind of thing should be encouraged.

    Fuck them.

  10. In a delicious irony, one-cunt crusader Rose McGowan, leading the charge against Hollywood sex cases everywhere with her ego-busting #RoseArmy, has today been busted as part of a drugs investigation:

    https://amp.timeinc.net/nme/news/film/rose-mcgowan-responds-arrest-drug-charges-2159543?xid=amp-nme

    There can be few things more satisfying than cunts who believe that they are omnipotent one moment getting caught out the next.

    Rose, you silly fucking axe-wound. Now disappear.

    • Wankstein will seem like a warm, fuzzy distant memory if she has to do time with Big Barbara, the hairy bull dyke from C-Wing.

  11. My offer to sponsor one of these children who have to walk a considerable distance for water, was returned by said charity deeming it inappropriate and insensitive….

    10p a mile….

      • In reality though, in a village near lake Victoria, bogococo was a bit sly. Instead of walking miles from his village to the lake for fresh water, he found that baboon piss was just as good and a lot fucking closer than the lake. Sly cunt

  12. The BBC have done a video titled.Robert Mugabe:Hero or villain? Even by their standards this is incredible.

  13. Fucking Children in Need.
    I believe the actual original bbc proposal was Children in Need of fucking.

    • “This is an appeal for Children in Need. Pudsey, the BBC executives and myself are in need of Children, so we need your donations to buy lots and lots of sweeties. Because children just won’t get in the fucking van if you haven’t got any sweets. So please, give as much as you can. Thank you”

  14. I mean, is Children in Need caught in a fucking time warp? I swear it comes around every three months. It’s just a celebration of cuntiness presented by cunts. I expect they’ll dig up Wogan, attach string to his limbs, and have him announce the audience is 7% more stupid than last time.

    • Wogan used to say ‘every penny goes to the children’ then it came to light that he was making thousands for ‘giving his time’, the cunt said he was unaware as his agent dealt with all that stuff. Poor M ‘ Tebe, fucked over by a silver tongued bogtrotter. If only I’d got that free pen of Michael Parkuntson, I could have sent him a cheque.

  15. Here’s a Top Tip if you’re Welsh, Scottish, Irish or Italian:
    Join the festivities of the 2018 World Cup by continually moaning about England and how they’ve got no chance/will be out first round/are shit.

    England might be an average footy side bereft of World Class players but at least we’ll be at the Finals. Perhaps we might go out first round, but we’re at the party.

    Might suggest you crack open some cheap booze and wheel out every hackneyed, clichéd joke possible in a painfully evident, though embarrassingly futile, attempt to vent your bitterness.

    Cheer up! There’s always Qatar.

    • So fuckin piss poor at sports are the Scots apparently Archie gemills magical ( unimportant) WC goal against Holland in a dead rubber game has seen the wee man voted Scottish sportsman of the year ( every year) since 1978!….,,,, hoots ma boots !!

    • The peaceful appeasing NATS are outlawing cheap booze in Scotland.

      Crime will rise as people struggle to pay for booze whilst junkies get their methadone for free at the cost of thousands to the taxpayers.

      SNP haven’t got a clue!

  16. Not a word in that cunting to argue with, first class.

    My monthly donation goes to the Brittle Bone Society, because I have it, not Um Bongo who eats flies and drinks piss water.

  17. There’s one way to make sure there are less starving kids in Africa, and that’s to round up all the blokes living in mud huts and cut their fucking goolies off.
    Failing that, we can ship them over here so they’ll get the chance to rape a few white women for a change. I suggest we have a referendum to decide, as long as our politicians promise to uphold the result.

  18. Children in need is the wrong title for the fucking thing. It should be ‘Celebrity ego’s in need’. Don’t these cunts see the fucking irony in what they do. There is absolutely no need to subject the British public the fest of wankers poncing around here and there with their faux grief. There are more than enough charities in every fucking high street for people who want to donate can. Give us all a break from Bonio and Goboff etc for fucks sake. It has the COMPLETE OPPOSITE effect on me. Cunts.

  19. Every year, the British people donate 10.9 Billion pounds to charities. Every year, we give 4.4 Billion ponds to the United Nations. Every year we give 9.2 Billion pounds to Europe. Every year we give 14.2 Billion pounds to Overseas Economic Aid. Total. 38.7 Billion pounds of our money goes every single year to “jolly good and deserving causes” 38.7 Billion !

    Now, my gripe is this, every fucking year, we are told to tighten our belts. Every fucking year, the Politicians give our money away to any fucking sandwog, darkie cunt, frog, spic or coon, and every fucking year we have to suffer the fucking BBC and its cretinous army of arseholes and degenerate feeble minded twats shoving tins under our snotters for more of our cash!

    Ane every fucking year the people give their dosh away like fuckwit morons dancing to the pied piper.

    just tell em all. FUCK OFF!

    • Jesus fucking Christ. Are those figures legit? That’s almost as much money as been spent on the hunt for Madeline.

    • The thing is if they did that and we knew and things STILL were still as shite then there’d be a rebellion on their hands wondering how to hide the monies those (mainly) OxBridge cunts shill in undisclosed positions, advisory roles, etc.

      Think a smaller Brussels and you’d have it! The cunts!

      In fact Comrade Corbyn is probably the only one who I reckon doesn’t have his hand in the pot. Pity he’s a cunt and that his policies would make us even skinter (unless you’re on the bennos).

  20. Used to work with a nauseating ginger cunt of a woman who used to go hyper on events like this. First time I saw her reaction I thought she’d turned her vibrating butt plug up to number 11. Thank fuck I escaped.

    • The BBC should dontate the back salary of Saville and al the other nonces it covered up for

      Out of presenters salary.

  23. I think pressure groups are in need of a cunting. I refer to the ridiculous shitstorm regarding Gregg’s, and their (rather funny I thought) decision to depict a nativity scene involving a sausage roll taking the place of the sweet baby Jesus. Now I’m no fan of advertising, but if I must suffer it, I would rather have something amusing rather than that prick Barry Scott shouting at me to buy his Cillit Bang shite.
    But back to the point, how much of a sad, insignificant cunt do you have to be to find that advert offensive? To even the most demented religious nutjob that could MAYBE be perceived as a little tasteless but that would be stretching it. But being the precious little snowflakes they are, they refer to the ad as cowardly and sick.
    Groups like these boil my piss something rotten, full of self righteous pricks who don’t serve any meaningful purpose or existence, but all flock together in mutual outrage at something silly on the the TV.
    And the irony of a Christian group calling itself the ‘Freedom Associaton’ isn’t lost on me either.
    Loathsome, soulless, cretinous cunts the lot of them.

    • Most of the cunts who find the Greggs advert ‘offensive’ (ie: virtue signaling Twittertards and Grauniad mongs) have no interest in christianity anyway…They’re all too busy licking camelbuggering ‘peaceful’ smelly arse…

  24. Looks like Mugabe has dipped his toe in The Pool and is inching ever closer. Fair play to him for remaining such a prime cunt at the age orf 93 though. His missis has down a runner to parts unconfirmed so that should give the old bastard a few more years. Have had him in The Pool for a good few years orf and on and charted his flagrant misdemeanours with relish so will miss the cunt when ultimately he does oblige. A phoenix from the ashes?

    • Mugabe makes Ian Smith look like the fucking messiah. Dear Robert should have been shot years ago, won’t be long before South Africa follows Zimbabwe down the same shit tube. A hyena from the jungle.

    • I wouldn’t be smacking those gums together just yet,Sir Limply. That old coon’ll take some killing. I reckon that he’s already been to The Gates of Hell and the devil’s told him to “fuck off,we don’t want your kind in here.” Apparently even Uncle Adolf and Pol Pot had their reservations.

  25. What will the 13th Doctor’s first words be after she regenerates?

    ‘All those nasty men before me were crap… And I can’t believe Man United haven’t got a women’s football team…”

    Cunt….

  26. The only solution for Afreaka is to exchange them a big bag of rice, nuts and sultanas for their bollocks. Forget the fiscal aid, set up continent-wide sterilisation centres to remove Umbongo’s overactive nuts. This will stop the fuckers multiplying.

    Then eventually the Afreakan population would reduce and the likes of Umbongo would either find a way to sustain his family or face extinction. The sub Saharan is a creature with a low IQ. The sterilisation proposal is most humane as it prevents babies being brought into the world and perishing through malnutrition or disease.

    Saint Bob is Satan’s cockcheese. Even a cunting diddly like him will know that the aid efforts driven by himself and Midge Urine have made matters a whole fucking sight worse. He has made himself extremely rich through his modest efforts, most of which appear to be associated with shouting a lot. A Simple ‘cunt’ branding doesn’t cut it. An emphatic CUNT CUNT FUCKING WANKSHITTING CUNTBUBBLE is more of a step in the right direction.

    • Sounds like a cracking idea to me Paul! And to each successful cunt reaching Dover, they surrender their nuts prior to entry.

      • Nah, just put the cunts in a second hand rubber dinghy and tow them far enough out to sea so the tide doesn’t pull them back to Dover.

  27. Why not invite the whole of the third world here? Most of m are children fleeing from a shithole. We could all be a happy family.

    • When it was Rhodesia they called it the bread bowl of Africa , now a bunch of fuzzy haired gentlemen are running the show it’s nothing more than the begging bowl of Africa. Make your own Conclusions as to why ?

    • “why not invote the whole third world here”

      I take it you’ve never had the pleasure of visiting East Ham?

    • Sweet, tit fucking Jesus, that was beyond parody! I long ago gave up watching the MSM, reading the Grauniad and the Independent or having anything to do with the vile output from Al-beeb, so I had not realised how fucking far this sort of nonsense has descended into a swirling cess pit of moral depravity topped by a froth of syphilitic cum bubbles.

  29. Ah, if you did and then complained about a housing shortage you will be called a RRRRAAAACCCCCCIIIIISSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

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