I wish to nominate celebrities and the plankton who pay attention to them for a cunting on this esteemed website.
Just this weekend I have seen headlines about:
Cheryl Cole (or whatever the fuck her surname is this week) and her fabulous post-baby body;
Beyoncé on a date night;
One of the Kardashians is up the stick to her boyfriend of five minutes.
I mean, who gives a fuck?
Why the fucking fuck is media attention given to the inconsequential doings of ‘celebrities’? Seriously, who gives a damn about what jug-eared ex-goal hanger Gary Lineker think about anything outside football? Or what crap actors like Bendycock Cuntypants or the oaken Ben Affleck think about politics? Why would anyone with an IQ in double digits think a drug-addled fuckwit like Lily the Musical Mong is the go-to person about refugees?
The multi-talentless Victoria Beckham and her equally talentless brood are perhaps the best example how one can become rich and famous without any discernible talent, looks or character. Remember Beckham was the crap one in the Spice Girls ffs.
Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt.
Excellent cunting.
Derek and Clive dealt with the rise of celebrity culture quite brilliantly as some cunters may remeber:
https://youtu.be/JQsGBgDRNuM?t=38s
9
Wow. Derek and Clive. That takes me back.
2
An era when you could call a fucking cunt a fucking cunt…
Not that that stops us, thank Dog.
2
I first heard Derek & Clive in 1976 and I still piss myself laughing .
Alfie Noakes and stories from the North was a favourite of mine
2
Pulling lobsters out of Jayne Mansfields arse.
2
Mother !!
“I remember when you used to masturbate to Elgar’s 1st symphony. You once got very attached to “White Christmas”, but I… slapped…I slapped that out of you.”
Me mahself personally, am partial to a bit of Elgar, but I think his 2nd symphony is a better bet…
1
Or being stalked by Greta fucking Garbo.
0
absolute genius wonderful, leaves the present day cunts in the dark!!
0
absolute genius wonderful, call a cunt a cunt!
0
Derek and Clive rule! “But who took any notice? I’ll tell you who took notice – FUCKING NO-ONE, THAT’S WHO TOOK NOTICE!! They’re all Cunts out there!”
Thing is, celebrities are a perfect reflection of the Society they ooze from. As with government, Society generally gets the celebrities it deserves. Ever since WWII, Britain has gradually been dumbed down and infantilised by exploitive cunts like Philip Green who rake it in selling you stuff you don’t need but can’t live without cos you’re afraid your stupid peer group and idiot neighbours will think you an even bigger pile of worthless shit than they themselves fear they are deep down.
Hence the Cunt culture, gullible to the nth degree, bursting with useless politicians and celebrity scumbags, a £2trillion National Debt and Brexit that is anything other than Brexit, blah blah woof woof…Fuck!
21
Did you send robin round??
Yeh
The letter was addressed to.. CUNT BBC……
7
Yeah – but forgot the Postcode!
Had that John Cleese in the back of my cab once…who’d have thought he’d turn into such a 5 carat Cunt?
7
UK celebrity has long been a whores meat market…. It’s just prostitution with TV, social media, and newspapers…. Katie Price, Scarlett ‘Oh Lordy! It’s The Fat Slags!’ Moffat, every TOWIE, Big Brother, and Love Island slapper… Even Wayne Rooney’s hookers have got TV deals and shown their ugly orange faces at Royal Ascot… I agree about society getting the ‘celebrities’ it deserves… This world is chocka with mongs, and only said mongs would make an ugly fat cow in a Chewbacca mask a ‘celebrity’, or ‘follow’ a ‘Youtube Star’, or see Lily Mong as some type of oracle, or view Bonebag Swift or Gargoyle Sheeran as ‘pop genius’…
6
Music business whore Swift is a professional beard for Gay male celebrities who need a cover girlfriend .
1
Brilliant cunting CMC..
plankton is the perfect word for the masses that follow the frenzied media coverage of celebrity….
Anybody obsessed with somebody else’s life ( famous or not) needs to visit a psychiatrist!, or at least pop into their doctors for a cozy chat…
But the problem here cunters is we appear to be the minority ( again )😂
Do I need to know that Jordan’s new man has a 12″ cock and allegedly knows how to use it?
Or that scary spices fanny is bigger than the dartford tunnel?
Or that fuckwitted rap star Kanye west may be calling his next child north by north west??
Of fucking course I don’t!! But there’s millions of empty headed intellectually subnormal Cunts that absolutely love it!!
25
Celebrity culture is a definite cunt.
A sad reflection on society. Doesn’t celebrity mean someone who is celebrated for having talent or something? Nowadays you go on any reality show and your a ‘Star’ for having no talent at all and who the fuck buys those cunt magazines about so and so’s amazing bikini body when really it’s edited photos. There are real celebrities with proper talent but they are out numbered by all the cunts who are famous for fuck all. No wonder the peaceful people look upon us as cunts when they see the utter cunts that make up a massive part of the population.
All this pile of cunt is made worse with Twatter and Cuntbook giving these wannabe celebrities an outlet for their cunt like behaviour. Having a hangover is a cunt.
18
RYLAN CLARK…… 😡😡
17
The cunt who has borrowed Dick Emery’s vicar’s teeth?
A certifiable cunt of wamkademic proportions.
8
Of all the cuntings on here this resonates like an atom bomb going off in Jordans cunt. Why ? Because its everywhere. Turn on the devils lamp. Boom. Jug lugged footballer come political analyst linekar giving it what for. A quick change of channels gives you people having meals at other peoples houses. Dont want to see what shite Helen serves to her 3 brainless fucking guests. Itv. Celebrities taking a shit in the woods. Great. If youre a fucking sofa attachment and cannot get off your fat arse. Go online. Any newspapers website is choc full of celebrity plankton. A whos dicking who of tripe.
8
I love OK magazine. At the risk of sounding conceited I have an autographed copy of the Alex Jones wedding issue. I’ve had it valued for insurance purposes and keep it in my safe. I usually take it out Saturday evenings. Every time I read it I learn something new, like when you watch Pulp Fiction.
8
How dare you come on here flaunting and boasting like some latter -day Croesus? I expect Lloyd Grossman is regularly trying to gain access to your collection of exclusive limited edition Franklyn Mint Princess Diana plates too, eh ? .. “What kind of an egocentric Howard Carter type of collecter could live in a hooooouse like this?” he’d probably ask,if your private security guards hadn’t chased him away.
Really, it’s your kind of selfish collector who dispossesses the world of lost masterpieces from old masters like LS Lowry and Banksy.. Sitting in your temperature controlled private museum, fingering your valuables, while cackling with selfish delight at depriving the public of their birthright.
You remind me of Gollum.
13
CNR….
your living la Vida loca!!
Ok magazine on a Saturday night?
Do you also dim the lights?
8
What a coincidence we have a quality cunting on celebrity culture and I unfortunately stumble across this ‘Story’.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4956662/Melissa-Meeks-goes-blonde-divorce-filing-makeover.html
2
Looks like that horse-faced slag orf the shampoo ads, the one that models for tat shoe-shops, and achieves the impossible, by making Sarah-Jessica Farter look wankable…
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Smellie Goulding looks like someone put a blonde wig on a foot and drew a face on it.
3
“Including vaginally tightening…”
I call them in-laws, a bunch of tight cunts!
5
I love the way the cretinous snowflake followers of slebs often quote them in arguments when they’re at some virtue-signalling rally, in some affluent locale.
“Yes cos Adele said…”
“I was watchin’ Ed Shearan and he said…”
Know what? You’re opinion matters as much as the cunt’s you are quoting which – through inference – makes you a cunt!
6
Very funny….
Knowing that large swaths of the population are nothing but sheep needing to be sheared I love the way advertisers get sleb Cunts to endorse their products!!, ” oh look it’s George clooney drinking coffee!!, well if it’s good enough for him”
Listen you stupid Cunts! He doesn’t actually drink that over priced coffee !!, he is being PAID!
To the best of my knowledge jug eared pseudo intellectual linker doesn’t walk around all day shovelling bags of walkers crisps down his neck!! And if he does there’s dozens of better ones!… psss …he is being PAID!!
Got it you thick Cunts??
Comprende!!
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Anyone who likes Adele Arbuckle is a cunt
Anyone who likes Gargoyle Sheeran is a cunt
Anyone who likes Lily Mong is a cunt
Anyone who likes ‘Tay Tay’ Swift is a cunt
Anyone who likes Beyoncé is a cunt
Anyone who likes Kunty Perry is a cunt
Anyone who likes (any) Beckham is a cunt
16
Come on you cunts, be fair! Celebrities do have their uses – could even be thought of as valuable assets!
For instance, I always look to them for guidance whenever I have a major decision to make, or a vote to waste.
Basically it works like this – If the Celebs are in favour of someone or something, I’m against it. If they’re against something, I’m usually 95% up for it. Or don’t give a bleeding donkey’s ass.
In short, they save you having to think – especially about this mindless septic tank of a country that considers worthless scum like Beckham & Lineker to be Gods.
Anyway, we wouldn’t want anyone to actually think, would we?
10
It’s a just another bi-product of the endless pointless human race. Ever increasing population with totally pointless life’s. Pointless celebrities used as a distraction from pointless fucking lives. Watching soaps and reality TV, going online to view the latest celeb gossip, what fucking purpose do you actually serve? Sometimes it makes you wonder if those who say cull the masses and save the world from death by consumerism don’t have s point.
7
I think zeleb cunt culture peaked with the broadcasting of that pig faced pound shop chavette Jade Goodey’s funeral on Sky News. Teary eyed teenage girls, Vickey Pollards of chavdom with little Beyoncé and Wayne and feral teenagers who gave the local Spa a morning off from shoplifting, lined the streets, sidestepping the dog shit and vomit to give their queen a proper send off.
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“Gave the local Spa a morning off shoplifting…”
I fucking howled at that one! So fucking true. Little cunts!
6
Me too, very funny
2
Ah, Jade Goodey… Attention seeking self serving scum to the last…
Now the patron saint of chavs, alongside Katie Price, Tulisa Cuntostavlos Coleen Rooney, and Tasha’s Mam….
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Jade Goody!
The white man’s thinking Diane Abbott on speed!
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Tasha Slapper’s mum is class compared to Goody, Price and the rest.
3
Jade Goody and her husband Jack Tweed were obviously cunts but I’ll always be grateful to them for this one…
What’s the difference between cervical cancer and Jack Tweed..?
One used to eat out Jade Goody’s cunt…..and the other is Jack Tweed..
5
I loved Elton John’s tribute to Jade – “Cancer in the Minge”
1
Oh, and anyone who buys a ‘celebrity’ perfume or aftershave (Kunty Perry, Chickboy Gaga, Judas Beckham, ) is a monumental cunt….
Surprised Lily hasn’t cashed in on the celebricunt fragrance craze… The possibilities are almost limitless…. Eau de Spastique, Mong Musk, Le Retardé etc… She could even bring out her own Xmas tipple… It could be called Windowlicquer…
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Trump wants to ban techno music but keep Rap crap? I say give me techno or give me death! Real techno must live forever! Fuck you Trump #TechNo4Trump
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There is shite techno, fake techno and their is real authentic techno most cunts sadly just don’t know the difference…
For example acid house was just shitty ready made techno for stoned Ecstasy users Basically what sad cunts think authentic techno sounds like Don’t even get me started on Progressive house or Goa Trance… Just rip off genres in my opinion
3
The answer is to ignore the fuckers. Avoid ITV and all it’s window licker’s channels. In fact avoid 99% of the rest of the channels provided. Avoid tabloids and their websites. Do not on any account watch anything with ‘celebrity’ in the title as a) you wont have a fucking clue who they are and b) It is unlikely that whatever it is they do requires anything other than self-promotion. Discount modern pop music entirely. It is bland shite or crap rap. Also discount 99% of movies unless you have the mentality of a 10 year old who likes superheroes or cartoons.
At any mention of the fucking royals on the news, turn the fucker off. Especially if it has anything to do with the dumb parasite who collided with a tunnel.
I think I can date this shit back to the inane ramblings of that oaf Lennon and the talentless hag he was with. Since then it has got worse and has accelerated since Princess Died.
A well merited cunting but apart from the advice above there is fuck all we can do.
5
CC I like your filter!
If you can make one I’m your first customer……
I seldom watch live TV, record the lot then blow the endless adverts off…..
2
I only watch recordings except for the news. Whizz through the adverts and only watch what I want to watch.
I avoid ITV news because it has fillers between local and national pushing whatever Callow’s latest cuntfest is. Oh, and BBC also has fillers for Strictly Come Wanking or Great British Wankoff but these are minor irritations compared to sitting through shite.
5
We never watch anything live now either, apart from news channels. Adverts and ABBC trailers are now a thing of the past Allah be praised (or whatever peaceful crap we have to spout these days).
6
The Nobel peace prize is a cunt.
This year, they have decided to bestow this award to ICAN, a nuclear disarmament campaign group, for getting 122 non nuclear countries to effectively ban nuclear weapons. Good for them. However, some Doris who runs the show is quite anti Trump (of course), and spends a lot of time on Twitter calling him a bellend, and saying the world is on the brink of nuclear war because he threatened North Korea. What does she think of Kim Mong Un, and all his sabre rattling, test firing missiles over Japan, threatening them with destruction? Who knows, because apparently it’s all Trumps fault. The BBC gleefully broadcast this without any question of course, and point out that Britain and the US, along with all the other nuclear armed countries, have decided not to be a part of this agreement. There is zero chance that any of the other countries are going to get rid of their weapons, so why would we? Of course, the west is the bad guy in all this, and the rest just catching up, protecting themselves from our imperialist advances. It could be argued that nuclear weapons have saved more lives than they have taken. The only time they have been used in anger was to end World War Two, and horrific as the effects were, the casualties were nowhere near the projected casualties of the mainland invasion of Japan, which was about three million people, military and civilian. Nuclear stalemate probably prevented a conflict breaking out on mainland Europe between NATO and the USSR, as there are no winners in a nuclear conflict. A war between India and Pakistan is far more likely, so you think that region might warrant more scrutiny from these twats, but there you go. Then again, I’ve always found it ironic that a peace prize could be legitimate when it was instigated by an arms manufacturer, and named after a man, who in his own lifetime was called ‘the merchant of death’, whose inventions have killed more people than smallpox.
13
If the West had taken any notice of CND and related useful idiots we’d now be slaving under the Soviet jackboot. And Japan would be a region of the People’s Republic of China. On the other hand, no North Korea to fret about…
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Oops – that should’ve read ‘suffocating’ not ‘slaving’. Not that it makes any difference to ya.
3
Regarding Mike’s earlier connection with ‘sleb’ culture and its link with moronic consumerism,
May I please cunt people with absolutely brand new cars, especially German ones.
Keeping up with the Jones’s (or more probably the Patels or the Abdullah’s) usually marks you as a pretentious cunt. Surely you’d be better off getting a 2-year old car?
Probably half the price and with its inevitable factory recalls mostly sorted, you’ve just saved yourself 15 grand you could invest in something more sensible, you daft clot.
I was driving on the hellish M25 yesterday and looking round at all the 67-plate cars and felt a sense of satisfaction that I was in a £250 22-year old Toyota Carina.
My wife asked when I’m going to replace it (as I can afford to do so) and I enquired if she’s emabarrassed to be seen in it (it’s also the wankest car in a middle class street, by a country mile). She admitted that yes, she is not only embarrassed to be seen in it by her cunt friends, also it’s “an eyesore” on our road apparently as our neighbours have almost new cars.
So I’ll be keeping it long after its economical repair life if it offends that fucking witch!
Is there a name for such a thing as an anti-consumer way of thought?
12
Our car is an 8 year old Suzuki SX4 and it’s the most beat up car I’ve ever had. Literally every panel is scratched and dented. Half of the back is literally caved in. It passed it’s mot this week, fuck knows how. Mrs CnR thinks it embarrassing, I think it’s fucking cool.
8
anti-consumer = common sense, in my book !
Well spoken, TtCE
3
I have never understood the perception the masses have of successful prosperous people is based on how much money they spend rather than how much money they actually have.
Your neighbours are likely so far up the wazoo in debt they are insolvent and one layoff or redundancy away from bankruptcy all to show off their borrowed ‘wealth’ to people that don’t care.
It’s fucking madness.
Spend as little as possible and stash as much as you can so you can get out of the UK shitefest as soon as possible to somewhere cheaper, warmer and with less taxes. One can live well on surprisingly little.
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Nice one Dick, my philosophy in a nutshell.
3
Cheers SB,
I have started a blog about it, but got hit with the ‘white screen of death’ which I need to sort out, technology being a new thing to me.
About making money, saving money and making decisions that are beneficial to your financial future rather than satiating imaginary desires and the financially ruinous ‘I work hard so I deserve all these trinkets’ mentality.
4
Sounds good, don’t forget to put up a link when you find your feet and get it up n running!
1
Not sure about a link on here Bob!
Thanks for the encouragement, the WSOD is not helped by having tea spilled on the keyboard, gotta love kids eh?
0
Does anyone here reckon that Robert De Niro is a wannabe tough guy cunt? He reckons he would like to punch old trumpy in ees Chevy Chase. I’d love to see a box on between Dr Niro and Trumpy. I reckon De Niros a queef and might end up getting KTFO to be honest.
6
De Niro is an old actor who has simply played the tough guy for so long he actually believes he is, in saying that him and the tango man going at it in the ring would be good……
personally i think it would be far funnier if trump just flattened the cunt if they ever met, especially as de Niro has been giving it large…….
8
Paddock’s wacky brother https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGJAIEdJtFM New Vegas massacre was a hitjob by the higher ups as far as I’m concerned The whole thing stinks
2
Was Emma a fan of Techno or Touchno? you be the judge punters https://i.redd.it/4mpvd7r7kcqz.jpg TFW you a high priced whore who does what shes told to do
Note: All my posts for the rest of the day will be techno themed except the vegas post
3
Techno should be banned.
It mixed in with this cunting of celebrity culture, in that it brought around a whole generation of cunts and made them fuckwitt cunts.
1989 sshdum sshdum sshdum, wave hands in the air.
1995 sshdum sshdum ssdum, wave hands in the air
2000 sshdum sshdum sshdum, wave hands in air
2010 sshdum sshdum ssdum, sip through a straw and hold one hand in the air.
There’s something wrong with these poser cunts that go to clubs and put up with this pish year after year.
I will give you Underworlds Born Slippy.
Where he sings “mega mega white thing”, i always thought he was singing “nigga, nigga, white boy”, and was amazed how they got away with it.
I didn’t mind some trance years ago for the comedown.
Google “chirigota”, that’s what i have to endure from the chirigota bar downstairs, all fuckin’ day.
I’d take techno over chirigota.
6
Don’t make much sense that, reading it back. (really stoned)
I don’t like techno but do like that Underworld song. I think. I’m not sure. Eh. Hmmm.
Toot toot. 🙂
2
“Techno should be banned”
No you should be banned lol jk m8 You are confusing shite techno with “real techno” You just haven’t heard authentic techno before Bman Underworlds Born Slippy was more hard trance then genuine techno in my opinion
This is authentic techno for example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJwHfSz98GM chirigota? what is it? Chirigota sounds disgusting I’m guessing some spanish variation on techno perhaps?
1
Techno. An irritating repetitive noise that attracts simpletons to sway around a flashing light.
3
Not my cup of acid tea, TitSlapper.
All my mates were into stuff like that in the early nineties. I was the only one that never got into it.
I would go to clubs though, and there’d be the odd song I’d sorta like.
The nearest i get to techno is Vince Clarke’s remix of The Happy Mondays Wrote For Luck. 🙂
PS. The missus got angry when i turned the telly down to listen to Orbital. 🙂
1
JC on a feckin trike, do I DETEST that horrid little bint.
Must put down some rat poison tonight, in case she’s whoring in Cardiff
2
“The missus got angry when i turned the telly down to listen to Orbital”
What a wicked wrenched, wench of a woman you mean she never even let you listen to the full song? Divorce her or kill her birdman If she doesn’t appreciate techno she’s already dead inside
And who fucking watches telly nowadays? telly is for plebs all the programmes on telly suck shit
2
Did she “Chime” in?
3
Emergency cunting to the brave goat shagging peaceful who has committed a terrorist act outside a museum. Well dobe you scum cunt.
6
Is that a Toyota Corolla albeit a verso?
The “peaceful religion worshipers” transport choice.
Always a better way.
2
You should have kicked him in his cunt.
8
May Allah be praised:The brave twat got nicked.
2
Is it correct that the cunt didn’t (thankfully) even manage to kill anyone? What a pathetic bell-end.
3
The pictures I saw had several guys pinning this cunt down, and not one of them was punching him. Given the opportunity, who wouldn’t want to batter the fucker?
5
The police only nicked him because he was black…. Wait, someone will say it!
3
My knee would have been transmitting my body weight right onto his temple with my big bunch of keys between his other temple and the pavement.
How they restrained themselves I do not know.
2
I would have been tempted to squish the cunt’s stoopid fucking great heed with the rear wheel of the panda car.
2
Before Sly News™ started blurring his head out it looked like his head had multiple mini organic coil shock absorbers fitted to protect his bonce in such a counter attack.
Once Sly News™ decided to blur his head out, I knew the news were going to report it as a “peaceful” driving error as opposed to a terror attack.
They obviously either didn’t wait until he jumped out and shouted the Aloo Arsebar war cry before they took him down or he decided his attempt wasn’t successful enough so will try and get off and try better next time.
They will all be at it soon 🙁
2
Who was that?? His dad maybe??
7
My twelve year old daughter is getting into this slebs culture pish.
Labels are making their way into our house and i hate labels.
I’ve tried to tell her not to be a slave to fashion and have her own brain but i ain’t getting through.
We have a great relationship but lately I’ve had to be telling her to button it when she tells me what these cunts are up to.
Last night was her first gig. Bad Bunny (Google the cunt).
Its all I’ve heard about since two weeks ago, and its on full force today.
Bad fuckin Bunny?????
The cunt reckons himself to be a rapper. I bet he is, its not that hard with auto tuning and repeating three line over and over whilst throwing in the odd “uh yeah, uh yeah”
In other slebs/tat news, Pink is back.
Fuck nooooooo!!!
Pinks strategy (that somehow works for her), bring out a sad song about some poor cunt that has the world against them, but they’re beautiful and strong g and can come out the other side.
Next song, she will tell the world how tough she is and doesn’t give a fuck about no cunt.
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat
And she spells her name wrong*
*(prick)
6
Should be spelt CUNT
2
I’m not much of a label fan and felt your pain years back. Kids become trojan horses smuggling the cunty labels into your home at about age 12 and its a right cunt, especially on the wallet.
I focused more highlighting the fact to her most are made by children much younger than her in foreign countries and explained the conditions they work in and that the kids making these labels won’t even get a proper education as they are too busy at the workhouse.
Didn’t stop all labels but it did have some effect and made her pay more attention to the label inside the item than the brand label.
2
Bad innit?
That cunt playing the tuff guy to school kids.
Maybe i’ll go next time in the hope he stage dives, and I’ll be waiting.
Good plan, by the way Cuntflap.
Should’ve done that myself.
1
Ever seen Pink and Eddie Izzard together in the same room?
No? Me neither.
1
Legend has it Pauline Campbell Jones – The demented jobcentre woman from The League Of Gentlemen – was based on Fanny Izzard…. ‘We need to stay in that there EU, Micky Luv….’
1
Comrade Catweasel quick off the mark, twittering away pretending to condemn peaceful incident. But he already is Prime Minister, isn’t he? And a total fuck up to boot.
Mind you, Brexit cancelled, so not all bad…
3
Bbc blurred the cunt out. Daily fail unblurred. Good on them. Despite their faults they dont shirk it. Wonder how long it takes the bbc ?? Everytime this shit happens the board at the bbc must think “oh fuck lets get the euphemism bible out and water down our integrity even more” coooooooooooooooonts.
3
Anyone who doesn’t post on this site is a cunt. That’s quite a staggering statistic actually. It means that:
99.9999999999999999999999999% of the worlds population are
CUUUUUUUUUUUUUNTS
6
The trouble with posting on this site is that it requires an element of literacy which automatically excludes what, 63% of the population?
4