Celebrity culture and its fans.

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I wish to nominate celebrities and the plankton who pay attention to them for a cunting on this esteemed website.

Just this weekend I have seen headlines about:

Cheryl Cole (or whatever the fuck her surname is this week) and her fabulous post-baby body;
Beyoncé on a date night;
One of the Kardashians is up the stick to her boyfriend of five minutes.

I mean, who gives a fuck?

Why the fucking fuck is media attention given to the inconsequential doings of ‘celebrities’? Seriously, who gives a damn about what jug-eared ex-goal hanger Gary Lineker think about anything outside football? Or what crap actors like Bendycock Cuntypants or the oaken Ben Affleck think about politics? Why would anyone with an IQ in double digits think a drug-addled fuckwit like Lily the Musical Mong is the go-to person about refugees?

The multi-talentless Victoria Beckham and her equally talentless brood are perhaps the best example how one can become rich and famous without any discernible talent, looks or character. Remember Beckham was the crap one in the Spice Girls ffs.

Nominated by Cunt’s Mate Cunt.

119 thoughts on “Celebrity culture and its fans.”

  1. Not a terror related incident just a chap called Mohammed (I made that bit up) who got confused between his accelerator and brake pedal.

    • It would probably be wise to ban all people of colour from using any form of motor transport until the current crisis is resolved.

  2. As a notorious Fuckwit with no discernible talents,I can’t understand why I’m not a Celeb. I did achieve a certain notoriety locally when I posted copies of my “stolen” sex-tape through my neighbours’ doors. However the police have explained to me that while Kim Kardashian can make millions by flashing her worn out growler,apparently a video of me “wooing” a blow-up doll with Gemma Arterton’s face stuck on, doesn’t hold the same pulling-power.
    I applied to go on X Factor,but unfortunately my “journey” contained no drama. None of my relatives had the decency to be bravely battling a terminal illness,and I myself wasn’t “turning my life around” after a tough upbringing. I also applied to be on Geordie Shore,but the fact that I was unable to prove that I was a borderline moron with a drug problem ruled me out of that one. Celebrity Love-island?..Too hetrosexual. Celebrity Big Brother..too famous.Apparently the fact that my name was published in the parish magazine as a man to be avoided meant that I was better known than most CBB contestants.
    My quest for Celebrity continues and rest assured Cunters, I wont rest until I’ve had Davina McColl,Amanda Holden and Mylene Klass to one of my Fatty Arbuckle themed parties.

    • If you pretend to be an obnoxious Peugeot salesman cunt with the ego to match and a tight fitting suit around the genetals then you are a walk for the Apprentice.

      Gives you a chance to asssinate Sugar.

      Why are there 2 p’s in apprentice?

      • I actually appeared on The Apprentice as Stuart “The Brand” Baggs. Thankfully the shame killed me before I could inflict any more of my buffoonery on the world. My appearance as Katie Hopkins,unhappily,has not had the same result.

    • Regarding my earlier comment about my wanky car, Mr Fiddler, is it safe to assume that you run about in a V8 Landie Defender?
      On another note, I used to consider suicide a total coward’s way out of a shit life. Now however, I’m at a relative’s being forced to watch “Strictly” and am cheerfully contemplating suicide as a blessed relief. I could go and sit in my car, I suppose, but it’s bearable if I’m a cynical cunt and ruin everyone else’s enjoyment of the dancing ponces.

      • Fuck me sideways, tuppence fisting monstrosity Susan Calman has now come on dressed as Wonder Woman. I taste rancid bile.

      • It’s a hilux pick-up for me. However I do enjoy driving a tractor along the narrow,twisty roads at a funereal pace. I like to pretend that I’m pulling over to let people pass by leaving an indicator permanently flashing and then veering across when they try to get past me. Had a particularly good giggle when Mr Patel was forced to crawl along behind me for 5 miles…as if I’d honestly believe that they’d let a coloured in a white’s only ambulance just because he’d had a heart attack. No amount of flashing lights or siren were going to fool me.

  3. Bugger me, The Mail has gone to town. Like this quote re the driver : ‘He had blood in his mouth so I assume they smashed him down on the ground’.

  4. Pedantic cunt alert – no apostrophe needed in the title.

    I’ll get my coat.

  5. I don’t get chance to comment much these days but there have been some excellent cuntings lately so well done mike and cunts mate.
    I can’t even put into words how much I agree with this cunting.
    Why anyone would aspire to be a cunt is beyond me but they all wanna be slebs now for some unknown reason.

    Cunts.

    A useless, talentless, big mouthed, over opinionated, self indulged, over rated, lefty (That’s fuckin guaranteed there days), utter cunt.

    FUCK them and every dumb cunt that follows them.

    • Ha ha … good on em … strange, I didn’t hear about that.

      Wouldn’t be anything to do with the usual lefty agenda of fighting tooth and nail to save offence from any minority, while the whole time trying to convince the majority that they’re all cunts would it!?!

      I did watch our ” friends” and “partners” having a “debate” in the Reich today. …didnt hang around for the vote coz it’s pretty obvious how shit was gonna go.
      Some Italian guy made a very good case about us working together but he didn’t get a single clap.

      If I could declare war on anyone right now it’d be the eu.

      Fuckin club for old washed up politicians to feel important again. …. cunts.

      Dangerous, dangerous people.

      • I’d like to take out that smug, fat cunt Verminhofstadt.

        NOT for oysters and chablis, I might add…

      • Oh man … I’d pay every penny I have just to smash that cunt right in the chops.

        And for the record his name sounds like someone choking on cock.

        … … … I wish he was choking on my fist … ….

    • Strange given it was big enough for Jezzas pet whale to arrange a counter demo with the stand up to racism crew.

      As she used the wonky calculator in estimating the FLA numbers, she was advised to stand down from going head to head and their routes were kept apart it seems.

      I bet the “peaceful religion worshipers” were livid, knowing how they like to follow these marches (cunts never miss Britain First ones) from the pavement, hurling abuse, spitting their HIV ridden saliva over and occasionally a couple of braves run in and dish out the odd kick or punch.

      They do it right in front of the police in order to get protection if case demonstrators try defend themselves, knowing they won’t get lifted themselves in the process.

      The Chief doesn’t want them all protesting at the station for their release with constant phone calls from Sadkhunt, Flabott, Jez, Lammy, Dunt Coad etc preaching about islamaphobia, white supremacy, ragheads mattaz etc etc and likely a scolding from Cressida Dick too.

  8. I was watching the Tory Conference and didn’t realise Theresa May is married to Woody Alan ?

      • Hank Marvin? Arthur Miller?

        The possibilities are endless…

        God I’d like to see that Izzard cunt recycled in his local abattoir!

    • I thought it was Arthur Askey with a new I.D. You would need a sense of humour to live with a high profile tory or

      On new I.D’s, just remembered the way they gave all Sadmann Hussain’s lieutenants nice big houses in Britain, wads of cash and new I.D. and 24 hour security. Could never fathom out how cunts such as Tariq Iziz or whatever he was called spouted anti Britain shit on the Iraqi news and after it all, Tony the Liar put the cunts up?

      Still costing us I wonder?

      I’m a bit older now and could quite believe Hussain & Bin Laden didn’t meet the fate they had us believe.

  9. Consumerism: buying stuff you can’t afford which you don’t need in order to impress people you dont like.

    • You want one of the cars that’s cheapest to run and never break down?

      Don’t bother with Which magazine, JD power surveys, What Car and Parkers guide, just get down the car park of your local “peaceful religion worshipers” den and examples are parked within. The pre 97 ones are theirs.

      These cunts have shared the info about car reliability etc between terror attack planning down to the penny.

      They also have brands of tyres on them I bet you have never heard of. They have rubber so hard that the tread never wears out though wet weather grip is non existent. Like they care!

  10. Look at what the cunts did to all the UNESCO sites, places like Palmira etc in Syria. They want to erase history and start to write their own. Cunts.

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