Young blokes with beards

Posted on by

Can I nominate young blokes with beards for a cunting please?

Seriously, did your Dad’s old photo album not teach you anything about poor fashion choices that you think facial hair is anything that remotely hints at being a good idea? I have no clue why trying to make your chin look 80 years older than the rest of your face is currently in-vogue among the metrosexual beta male, but exactly how attractive is it to the opposite sex to have a head like a 1970s vagina? Not discounting the fact that the beard is always about 3 shades further into the red spectrum than the hair on their heads. How can this be?

Call me old fashioned, but apart from giving the impression that they are maths teachers, art historians or fugitive kiddie molesters, the only reason young blokes should sport a thick grizzly beard is to hide an acute dose of herpes.

Nominated by Megacunt.

31 thoughts on “Young blokes with beards”

  2. Always been arsed orf by this ‘like’ crapola. Either be arsed to make a positive comment or contrarywise or fuck orf. All too California teen for Yours Truly. Now a ‘sod ’em’ button would be useful.

    • As to cunt beards used to have an interest in a gym where we trained a fighter or two. One day a fighter turned up sporting a cute little cunt beard wanting to make it big in the game. Cocky cunt. Got knocked out three in a row. Turned out he had a glass jaw underneath it. Had a word with the lads and they all had bets on as to who could tank him on the beard the quickest. Irrisistible target see.

      • I was gonna like your comment Limpy but seeing how you don’t want a like, well too bad then no like for you! Seriously tho It would be nice to have different rate comments like some forums doo but whatever I could live without it also

  3. Good post, its about time these twats with facial furniture were cunted, you can also see the same cunts walking about town with tights under their shorts, whats the point of that ? pretentious cock suckers.

    • Add a top knot or my little pony and you have the complete, Bonio grade cunt.

  4. All skinny jeans wearing cunts. They must start growing the beard at the age of 12, fucking attention seeking pricks.

  6. I hate cunts with beards, not because of the reasons set but simply jealousy… When I have attempted to look hip, even with my advancing years all that I can grow is bum fluff… More concerning is that when left to it’s own devices, said bum fluff turns ginger… At which point I become an uber wimpy ginger hipster wannabee cunt.

  7. It’s the ones who have their neck covered in tattoos that bemuse me. They’ll look right cunts when the hipster trend dies out and the beards need to be shaved off.

  8. Can I nominate for a royal cunting weatherspoons?

    I have been told they are the reason for a few of my favourite locals being put out of action.

    I refused to be drawn to such a mighty symbol of the globalist elite, putting hard working grubby locals out of business.

    Problem is I went into one of the culprits yesterday and found Doombar to be £2 a pint, a bowl chips topped with goodness at £3 a bowl, the atmosphere was terrific and the décor superb.

    This throws me quite the conundrum. One of my favourite moans is that it is impossible to go out on £20 and pubs have lost their atmosphere. I am now faced with choice between getting stung at my local or capitulating to the den of commercialism. For that dilemma weatherspoons are complete and utter cunts.

    Also having re-read the above and realising that I am becoming a middle class yuppy makes them even bigger cunts on a personal level than before.

    • All Wetherspoon pubs are full of cunts, including myself, who want cheap drink and food (although I wouldn’t eat in one).

      I have cunted these institutions previously for being full of coffee drinking twats and single mothers downing Stella or jugs of cocktails while their kids run around or scream their fucking heads off.

      CunTim Martin throws his political view into every bit of literature. But he does cheap ale, and I like ale, so I’m torn as well, fucking Wetherspoon, making me look like a cunt.

      • Have you noticed every cunt who sits in Wetherspoons has a plastic carrier bag?

      • LOL, now you mention it.

        Plus, you know you’re in a really good Wetherspoons if your elbows don’t stick to the stale-ale-reeking wooden tables.

    • Wetherspoons food deals do sucker me in… or at least used to. Years back, their ‘Sorry Ronnie’ deal was so good it was pulled because no fucker bought any extra drinks. And curry club wasn’t bad either – decent portions and extras. Not sure if it is still any good, not had one since 2011.

    • Used to go to weatherspoons for breakfast but it fuckin stinks in there.
      Smells like musty old homeless people.
      Don’t know if it’s the carpets or the alcolholics that always seem to be there, drinking pints of stella at 8.30am.

  9. My niece’s boy friend who is in his twenties has an enormous thick bushy beard. He thinks he looks cool. Everybody else thinks he looks like Brian Blessed.

  10. Not sure what is worse – bearded cunts or actual shitcunts who uphold facial hair as some kind of real display of masculinity.

    There’s a certain breed of tattooed slut – you know the type, all badass attitude on Instagram or Facebook, giving the camera the middle finger, extolling all the virtues bestowed upon them by 3rd wave feminism. I’ve lost count how many I’ve seen gagging for a fucking beard.

    Just more cunts of course wanting to be where the attention is by leaping on the stupidity bandwagon. As I find myself saying with alarming regularity these days, beards and excess fucking hair is just another symptom of the look-at-me culture increasingly becoming ingrained within fuckers in their teens/20s thanks to all forms of online validation-whoring.

    Now, stoke up the cunt-coals and let us throw that fucking annoying phenomenon on the cuntfire known as ‘Movember’. I suspect this charity-inspired wankery greatly helped to fuel the hirsute explosion; Movember being at its zenith around 2013 or so. Clarification – the act of raising money for prostate/men’s cancers is not, I repeat NOT what I am cunting. It is the method of the attention-seeking bearded cuntfucks that utterly drives me insane.

    It’s bad enough having one bunch of bearded cunts, giving it the raging towelhead against Western values. Now we also have these hipsters-cum-shitsheep bringing up the rear. CUNTS!

    • I’d say it’s a mixture of wanting to show a faux sense of masculinity (as snowflake men have been emasculated by the libbo education establishment into thinking that only women are cool, that all men are cunts and that they should get in touch with their feminine side and become women), combined with the “look at me” culture of virtue signalling that “…while I am a male cunt in tune with my feminine side, I am passively signalling that I am still available as a mate even if you kill me afterwards for being a cunt…”

      I’ve never understood this trend in the young men of today. They look fucking horrendous. Last time I saw a cunt with a beard as bad as some of them have he was shouting “Squeal like a pig!” at Ned Beatty!

  11. I have to admit, I grew a beard when I retired from the Army. All those years of having to shave, and suddenly I was free to do what I want. Spent a lot of time having lie-ins too. Though I quickly got bored with the beard. They’re useful for keeping your face warm in winter, but as a fashion statement? No. The statement they make is, “I’m a lazy twat”.

    • That’s different. I had that lazy phase also around 21/22 but fuck me, soon copped on to what an unappealing scruffy fucker I looked like.

      Growing a beard to say ‘look at me, I have a beard’ is what warrants full ire of this cunting.

    • I also did the same when I got out of the army in 2012 and grew my hair a bit like Liam Gallagher circa 1997. My beard wasn’t a fashion statement, it was a combination of laziness and attempting to cover up/prevent my case of perioral dermatitis (for which I used to get no-shaving chits courtesy of the med centre to the ire of my OC Squadron).

  12. Oh, and this phenomenon has sparked considerable growth of ‘beard grooming’ accessories. From combs to oil to all kinds of other wank, it is just an extension in some ways of the metro-sexual.

    • I’ve seen beard oil for sale, what the fucking fuck is beard oil?

  14. As a proud goatee wearer since my mid 20s (I’m 54 now) I personally blame that one Star Trek episode for the goatee’s image of untrustworthiness…

    • But yes, those young hipster types look like utter cunts.
      Bet Frankie Boyle has grown his back, to tickle Owen Jones’s arse…

  15. Why do so many of you get worked up over what another chooses to do with their appearance? I genuinely just want to know as it’s intriguing me…

Comments are closed.