It’s nice to finally have internet back after nearly 2 weeks, I would like to nominate a cunting for VIRGIN MEDIA for making me wait that long just to have a bloke “an engineer” come around and unplug one box and plug in a new one . Really two fucking weeks why couldn’t you send it in the post like they used to so I could have done it myself ……wankers.
Nominated by Sheriff Of Cuntingham.
I’ll second that cunting, because Virginmedia are fucking useless, their e-mail app is shit and when you finally wish to dispense with their overpriced services you have to jump through hoops on the phone for an hour while some hapless (and no doubt underpaid) poor sod in Calcutta or Delhi tries desperately to sell you more shite. I bet her bearded cunt of a boss dropped her into a shark tank for her failure, Bond villain style…
Nominated by Mr Bastard.
Virginmedia are indeed cunts of a higher order.
Bad enough trying to explain broadband problems to some Bangalore bot; then the fucking cunts throw in random £3.99 price hikes every few months.
Not coming across all fucking Anne Robinson but make sure you cunters ring up Virginmedia retentions at least every 6 months to try and get a marginally less excremental deal.
As an aside, nothing gets my fucking goat more than your average greasy-overalled phone company shitheel being described as an ‘engineer’ by Virginmedia. He is not a fucking engineer. He is a repairman. Perhaps if this fucking country held REAL engineers in higher regard, then we wouldn’t be treading human shit freshly laid by the fucking financial sector.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.
Mr Branson does make a good pickle though!
11
Umm what, make a good pickle what do you mean? I think you mean brantson M8 lol
4
I did know that! ‘ Twas a joke!
1
It seems to me the root cause of Virgin medias cuntishness is the boss himself.
3
As a gay I also am not happy with such service provision. Why are there engineers so fucking ugly? Why can’t the send round a tattooed hairy 20 year old in trackkie bottoms in a tight T shirt with big arms and a cheeky grin ana big bulge? Homophobes……
7
Isn’t homosexuality a Zionist plot to get rid of Muslims Mr Kravdarth?
Or are most Muslimists just jealous of you and desperate for a bit of botty action?
6
Judging by how male rapes are increasingly reported in Northern Europe, I strongly suspect the latter.
3
Oh like a plot from Dynasty? Can I play Alexis Morrel Carrington Colby Dexter?
Am in starbucks. Young guy serving asked me if I wanted cream on top. A bit forward I replied: We have only just met….
7
I don’t think that pooves should have access to satelitte telly. They probably watch all make and manner of good,wholesome telly shows and use them to fuel their lurid fantasies. This is why a lot of pooves like the televised wrestling, Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks are victims in their foul imaginations.
Gays should only be allowed access to telly made by Melvyn Bragg or Alan Yentob.
5
I am not a chubby chaser!
0
If beardy bollox sent a poof round my drum i’d tell him he’d got the wrong address and redirect him to the Muzzies down the road.
5
VirginMedia used to be great – but unfortunately it was bought in 2013 by Liberty Global (owned by American Cable TV billionaire John Malone) and that’s when all the cuntery began. Malone installed former Murdoch lackey Tom Mockridge as CEO (Mockridge replaced Rebekkah Brooks after she “resigned” in the wake of the phone hacking scandal), and since then VM have been rapidly going down the toilet.
5
It pisses me off how far removed Richard Branson makes himself from his vile fucking franchises – Virginmedia, Virgin Fitness, Virgin Rail etc etc. They all have an apalling record on customer satisfaction; the media and fitness arms especially. To cancel your membership at a Virgin gym, you almost had to pick a precise day in the month – otherwise, you were charged for the next rolling month of use.
I’m not sure if any of you cunters have the Tivo boxes you get with certain VM deals – fuck me down dead. These things take longer to boot up than a ZX spectrum cassette tape and are just as unresponsive. The guide takes a fucking century to load, too.
If I wasn’t such a lazy bastard, I’d just change already. It would however mean setting aside 60 minutes, going from Bangalore centre to Bangalore centre, dealing with the only Indians called Trevor and Victor in the entire fucking world, trying in vain to get these scripted cunts to understand what I actually want.
3
…. Just wait until Bransons Virgin ‘Galactic’ goes A.W.O.L. in space on it’s maiden voyage packed with some of the rich and famous … let’s see, Mr Publicity ‘When it suits’ Branson, side step the media cover on that story.
That should make Concords French tragidy look like Harrison Ford landing his Piper puddle jumper in a ploughed field.
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Don’t hold your breath for that fucker. Already about 12 years behind schedule.
Branson is a grinning, bearded, hippy, tax dodging, government money grabbing cunt.
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Can’t argue with that, although I would add ‘hypocrite” as he lectures us on Brexit and doesn’t fucking live here…!
7
I upgraded to BT Infinity 200 mbs,its fucking fast,but on the downside,so are the endless fuckin” narcissistic selfie taking cunts on social meeja.Not content with a posy selfie,the cunts are now posting selfies with photoshopped cartoon noses and ears;for fucks sake…………..cunts……………Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah(c)
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There is nothing Virginal about Virgin Media. It is a well used fucked up spunk laden cunt of an organisation.
8
I can’t watch channel 4 without some cunt yaking on bout pride every break.
I get it, it’s gay year, means nothing to me. Not interested, now fuck off!
9
Agreed and I is a gay. Gay pride? Forced ultra left cultural Marxism.
2
I abandoned these cunts years ago. What started as a 29.99 package had gone up to nearly £45 over the course of the two year contract.
When I canned them they had a hissy fit on the phone and made me take their rancid old tv box round to some smelly Asian corner shop so it could be “recovered” in the box it came in, it never came in a box cunts.
The box was basically an old Cisco 800 router with Virgin stickers on it, it was slow as fuck, the catch up was appaling and the service from “Roy” in ramadama ding dong land was appaling.
You sure your name is Roy? yah course it fucking is.
Cunts
7
Years ago Virgin told me they couldn’t connect me because my house is too far back from the road. They’ve been sending me mail advertising their services ever since. Clueless cunts.
8
I know nothing of Virgin Media unless ‘Barely Legal’ magazine falls under that description.
Thank yerselfs lucky you don’t have YOIGO.
Its a Spanish company run by an English woman.
Well maybe not ‘run by’, but she’s the boss.
Utter toerags who got a barrage off me the other week, again, for providing no service whatsoever.
That British boss, do you know that female boss in Spanish is ‘jeffa’ and is pronounced ‘heffa’ ?
Yeah, well she’s a heffa alright
6
I hate getting cold calls trying to get me to sign up to shit.
Some guy called me from the Rambling Association….the cunt just went on and on and on…..
9
Here’s my experience from 2013…
“Some of you might haver noticed that I have been absent for the last couple of days. Well, since Saturday actually…
This is because my broadband service is provided by a bunch of rank amateur, clueless wankers otherwise known as Virgin.
With no warning whatsoever, they decided to take apart the equipment in my local telephone exchange ‘in order to improve the service we offer you’. Naturally, this was entirely for my benefit.
On Monday morning I rang their help line. Of course, first I had to find the telephone number because that’s easily found – errrr – on line. That’s the ‘on-line’ bit that I was ringing them to complain about not having.
Anyway, I eventually got through to a very nice Indian lady based in a call centre somewhere in Mumbai. She was a little hard to understand, but I have heard worse. After a series of completely inane and unnecessary ‘security questions’ she went away for a few minutes and then told me that everyone on my exchange was having the same problem. She pointed out to me that this information was posted on line. Ggggrrrrr……..!
‘When will I get my broadband back?’ I asked and was told ‘Tomorrow midnight’ which I took to mean – erroneously as it turned out – Monday/Tuesday night.
Now you might think that I am annoyed that a communications company is incapable of sending an e-mail telling me there’s going to be some down time. But you’d be wrong. Yes, that did annoy me, but what really got up my nose was the e-mail they did send me yesterday afternoon informing me that the previously unnotified maintenance was now complete.
Of course, I already knew this because if it hadn’t been back on line, then the e-mail telling me so could not have reached me.
There’s a distinct logic bomb in there somewhere which I am absolutely sure would be totally lost on their management.
Tossers!”
11
What is going on with the dead pool? You would have thought that some old cunt would have popped their clogs in this heat. Cunts.
5
You’ll find, Gingers Ballsac, that when it comes to dying, people can be right selfish about it.
I mean, there’s the honour of being crowned ‘Deadpool Winner’ here, but these guys just plod along regardless.
5
Plus shit loads of cunts die every day, not just who we nominate.
We run a dead pool in our local that I’ve been paying in to for 15 years. Biggest win £2,500, what have I won? Fuck all. So a big cunting to everyone else in our club.
4
And then there’s this post from 2015 when they unilaterally transferred me to TalkTalk – an even bigger bunch of cunts.
https://dioclese.wordpress.com/2015/02/15/fuck-you-virgin-media/
The link at the end of the post is worth a read as it’s a transcript of the Twatter conversation we had when they read my piece.
I’m now with BT but both these cunts keep hitting me with ad literature with deals. I particularly like their Fibre broadband deal – especially as we’re still not wired for it. BT do that as well – and they do the fucking wiring so they KNOW DAMN WELL I don’t have it.
Basically, they’re all bloody idiots…
6
I think that I was about 9 when they laid cable near my Mum & dads, middle of 1989 I am sure of it. Some bloke came banging at the door for subscriptions for NTL, I think that it was NTL anyway.
Little black receiver, tiny little remote, but the stations on there were great. I am sure that there was some soft porn german channels, I know that I crept down in the night for something. I found a kids channel with a character called ‘Mrs Pepperpot,’ being 10, I liked that, I also watched Bill & Ted for the first time on this, and I thought it was great.
A few years down the line, and this beardy old cunt branson took the network over. The free magazine that came every month stopped, and the whiskery old cunt went on to ruin everything. When I left home, I had AOL Broadband installed for my little sister, and that was good until that posh cunt from the carphone warehouse took it over. The cunt.
6
Can’t be as bad as the cuts at sky
3
I have no experience of Virgin but I do of Sky.
Now when you’re at home Sky is fine. Expensive but I do enjoy watching it especially sports, flicks and the documentary channels.
Now when you’re away from home and are supposed to have full access to Sky services, originally it worked ok but more and more you find the remote service being erroded more and more.
Not a problem if you work 5mins away from home but when you’re away 4 nights a week, covering around 800 miles a week, when you can’t get access to a service you’re paying a stupid amount of money per month to enjoy it wears very thin very fucking quickly!
The first one was limiting devices to two. Before you could access your PAID FOR content from anywhere and via a phone’s browser. Obviously they locked it down because of folk sharing their interweb details. So fair enough but two for fuck’s sake!
Then streaming via phone browser was blocked and now you had to use Sky STOP (it’s supposed to be Sky Go but STOP is more accurate). Why did they do this? Ah well you see by forcing customers to use an app which they have control over Vs a browser which they don’t means that when you plug in a HDMI cable to watch on a decent sized TV the app detects it and shuts down!
Again this is because they don’t want some cunt rocking up to the pub or a mates house, plug it into the TV and let everyone watch. So when I bought a new phone I bought a massive fucker so that I could watch it remotely.
Then they started to block the streaming of premium content when on a 4G network. “Are you sure it’s not just a coverage issue?” – “No you thick cunt because I can watch you’re free channels no issue at all like Sky News but as soon as I go near Sky Sports or Movies I get ‘Network Error’ now you explain that one to me!?!” – “Er, have you checked your network?”…FFS! Thick as day old porridge doesn’t even come close to the thick twats on Sky’s (lack of) customer support. They must be the cunts not good enough to get a fries job in Maccy D’s!
The final straw however is that before you could still live stream via a browser on a laptop. I don’t like lugging one of those about with me but needs must I suppose. Last week I get in, switch on, click on Sky Sports 1 in my favourites links but oh…lo and behold…now I need to have another fucking app on my PC now in order to watch Sky!?! Well fuck off you CUNTS!
Now here’s the rub. They are doing this and restricting it more and more to try and stop the illegal viewing of their premium content.
Well !!! NEWSFLASH !!! Sky you feckless cunts! Anyone can watch any of your content online via illegal streaming sites. And *THAT’S* exactly what they do, including your Box Office content!
Feel free to go after those cunts if you want to but adding measure, after measure and restriction after restriction only effects and pisses off one group of people – the people who actually *PAY* for your service you fucking cunts!
What’s going to be next? Random house visits on paying customers just on the off-chance they have a few mates around to watch the footy or a pay-per-view boxing match?
How much fucking money does Murdoch need? The greedy fucking cunt!
7
That was a nice long vent probably felt good to get that off your chest lol I’ll be sure to stear clear of Sky.
Cable companies are cunts cancel your subscription to protest M8 http://i.imgur.com/nTOODKs.jpg
2
Both the Richards Branson and Hammond should get in a car, balloon, tandem, rocket or whatever mode of transport and do us all a favour (although I believe there are a few Richard Hammond fans who will disagree with me on that one). Anyway, I couldn’t give a fuck, they are both cunts and beardy cunts at that.
5
Hammond is a legend so can’t agree with that one.
Branson however can stick all his companies and services up his arse and fuck off while doing it.
Especially Virgin East Coast, bunch of cunts.
6
I’ve never seen Top Gear, never, not once, but my daughter used to watch a fun science programme with Richard Hammond in it , innit, init , and that is were i got to see the little prick.
Popping eyeball stares into the screen and talking down everybody as if he’s too cool for school, when, in fact he’s just a little prick.
He was a normal little prick but then that crash made him famous and he grew a ‘rockdads’ haircut and started dressing ‘smart but casual’ and took a fancy to himself.
Little prick……
2
Richard Hammond has a beard ?
Ha….haha……hahaha………hahahahaha……..hehe….hahahahahahahahaha…….
I cant even grow one ffs….
1
Gay Pride? Have these cunts never heard of non-binary gender neutrals and our struggle against an oppressive phallocentric society. Gay is soooooo last year.
8
Has ‘park and ride’ been provided for this event ?
That could end up a right mess if it is.
Nylon Pride.
That’s what i demand.
Michelle’s Nylons/Sugarbabe, Sandy’s Secrets, Jan Burton, Elise Summers, Sally Taylor, Hazel May etc marching through the streets in all colours and patterns of hosiery is what i want and need.
6
Participants, spectators, vendors, viewers, and anybody else connected to the Pamplona bull run is a king kong mega mega sized CUNT.
It has no place in a ‘civilised’ cuntry and should be stopped now. Scrap that, it should be stopped yesterday.
The biggest cunts through it all are the American students on vacation especially for this event.
They see themselves as modern day Ernest Hemingway, but not one realises that Hemingway was also a mega cunt and a lying cunt at that.
This year has also seen the new event that coincides with this atrocity, sexual assaults.
While arseholes are experiencing their ‘coming of age’ , female spectators are being groped and graped on the sidelines.
Good. They deserve it for cheering on animal torture.
—————
Hemingway was mentioned in yesterday’s cunting and even though he’s pan bread, he deserves a cunting for all his bollocks and false bravado.
If not Hemingway, then his cockless fans should be cunted.
3
Running of the bulls hey?, I mean if people are retarded enough and brave enough to do it why not? Let the stupid fucks get gored to death its fun lol
You can probably get better cheap thrills sticking a garden hose in your arse on full blast Maybe the spanish are just sadistic dumb cunts I dunno http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4677104/Man-hurled-air-TRAMPLED-bulls-Pamplona.html Stupid cunts lol
3
I applaud any death or injury at this evil shitefest, but even with casualties, there’s still the torture of animals, and that has to be stopped.
They could replace the bulls with vans.
There’s loads of Morros in Spain who would probably jump at the chance to mow cunts down.
3
Vans with horns on the front: ideal.
A dashboard cam linked direct to the web too?
0
What’s the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels…
Jack Daniels is still killing native Americans….
9
Virgin media is a cunt.
I don’t care who owns or runs it now, it was started by that Branson cunt so its a cunt too.
He’s always made me sick from day one. ”I started my first business from nothing”. N he fucking didn’t…he had a huge ”loan” from his rich dad. Nothing wrong with that except be honest about it beardy.
As for his psuedo socialist views while living on a Caribbean island, fuck me.
Perhaps he could send some boats out to pick up some Syrian refugees? No? Take some to live on his island with him? No, I thought not. Cunt.
8
When I awoke from my slumber this morning I found my head still shaking from side to side from the night before. ‘Why’ you may ask. Now don’t get me wrong I would NEVER knowingly tune in to such utter shite as Blind Date. But last night while channel hopping I arrived at the said sad transmission at the very moment the shot was showing 3 birds on one side of the divide and a single female on the other side. After a moments computation I realised what was going on. I know it’s all very ‘de rigueur’ at the moment but talk about awkward. I know Paul O’grady bats for the other side but I sensed even he was somewhat compromised. Call me an old(ish) knuckle dragging cunt if you like but we all accept people’s rights an shit but give me a fucking break. What next, a fucking nonce and three kiddies sitting on the other side. Progressive cunts.
6
What does it take to get served in these cunting fucking chemists these days? Fuckers won’t even sell me a packet of Sudafed, because it ‘might be addictive.’ I swear to christ it’s easier to procure a gramme of smack from a backstreet dealer than a manufactured ‘over the counter’ drug.
Could it be that I am a white middle aged male perhaps, and those that serve me are ALWAYS little muslim and pakistani women who seem to see me as some kind of human Guy Fawkes of right wing extremism, because I want to unblock my fucking nose.
Could it be they are discriminating against me because they can get away with it, and has nothing to do with protecting me from addiction.
Could it?
So I sent the girlfriend in to the two shops I was denied service, one after the next.
“There you go madame” no problem at all.
If I was a queer and it was a christian cake shop, bringing a lawsuit wouldn’t be a problem I imagine.
But I am a White middle aged man and therefore the lowest thing on the caste system. Might as well be fucking Hitler.
6
Back in the old days you could get a tincture of morphine and if the chemist gave you a dirty look you could tell him to fuck off or face the music Nowadays you try an buy a tylenol/codeine pill or sudafed and they give you a lecture on it and will refuse to sell it to you what a bunch of twats Fucking morality police I tells ya
1
The Empire Cunts Back: “As an aside, nothing gets my fucking goat more than your average greasy-overalled phone company shitheel being described as an ‘engineer’ by Virginmedia. He is not a fucking engineer. He is a repairman. Perhaps if this fucking country held REAL engineers in higher regard, then we wouldn’t be treading human shit freshly laid by the fucking financial sector.” Wise words my friend.
In many countries, one has to have an engineering degree and suitable postgrad experience to call oneself an engineer. In this country, any cunt with a toolbox calls them selves an engineer; no you cunts, you are a fitter, mechanic or perhaps, if you have an apprenticeship behind you , a technician. All noble and worthwhile (non-dole scrounging!) people who have my respect, but not engineers! Raises my piss to saturation temperature every time.
1
I’ve notice it’s much quieter than usual here on is-a-cunt. Has somebody farted?
1
Its summer M8, cunters are with their families, on holidays or soaking up the short-lived sun
1