Skip parasites are cunts… There are two types of skip parasite… One is the neighbour who doesn’t give you the time of day for most of the year, yet when you hire a skip to clear out some crap the smarmy cunt will come on all nicey nice and say ‘Oh, I’ve got this tree… I’ve got this car bumper etc…’ And they suddenly know you exist just so they can put their crap in a skip that you paid good money for… Fucking two-faced leeching scum cunts…
The other variety of parasite is the thieving scum who will shamelessly park outside your house in broad daylight and ferret through what you have thrown away… I caught one daft bitch doing this and nicking rolls of discarded wallpaper… She came out with all this hippy bollocks, ‘Hey! You don’t want it… Why can’t I have it?…’ I told the horrible slag that she didn’t pay for it and that I would whack her with said wallpaper roll if she didn’t fuck off pronto… No doubt about it, Skips attract right cunts…
Nominated by: Norman
i used to work with a skip parasite,he had a landrover so could crawl past and have a good look and the scav anything he fancied,the same guy was part of the sealed knot,where they dress up as roundheads and go to battle all over the country….what an embaressing cunt he was.
I would also like to cunt veggies and vegans,these ubacunts have made such a fuss about the new £5.00 note containing animal fat that the bank of England are talking about replacing the notes,,,,,wake up you stupid cunts,half the products in the world contain animal fats,and if they don’t the machines that make the crap they eat is made of animal fat,you cant avoid it you cunts so grow up….
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Don’t know why people bother with skips these days,better to just put your rubbish behind a locked gate,and wait for a pikey to steal it.Those cunts would pinch the skin off your shite.
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I was watching a program the other night about how much h “waste” gets put in supermarket skips.
Any item that had damage to the packet, even a small dent or tear in the outer cardboard, was tossed.
The program was about why it wasn’t given to food banks, when it was perfectly edible and well within its expiry date.
One student brought four big bags home, contain up to 200 euros.
Fair play to them i say…………
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200 euros worth of food that should have said.
If it was 200 euros cash, then I’d be in first……….
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Most of the fuckers who use food banks would do better to use their benefit money to buy groceries instead of using it for sky tv, weed,cigarettes,drink,knock-off designer gear and lottery tickets.
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Most students are scrounging cunts too
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It was stuff like fillet steaks, smoked meats etc. Stuff the cheeky shops charge top dollar for, to you and me……….
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It is ridiculous what these shops chuck out….it’s just that I’m such a miserable cunt that I hate seeing cunts like bin-diving students getting stuff for nowt and using their”save the planet” card to justify being scrounging wankers.
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That might have looked like i was standing up for “full time” students.
No fucking way .
My childhood sweetheart went to university. It was amazing seeing the transformation she underwent.
I put up with the bullshite for a couple of months, but when she started dressing the part was when she got dumped.
Good looking bird and a great ride, but no , no grebo student for me, ta very much………
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Know what you mean, Birdman. I knew a lovely lass who went off to “uni” and came back a few months later spouting the biggest load of “Power to the People” shite I’ve ever heard….didn’t stop her from letting Daddy still pick up the bill for her very comfortable lifestyle,even though he was one of those “wicked capitalists” who was,apparently, responsible for all the ills in the world. Stupid,spoiled kid.
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I know a daft cunt who describes himself as an anarchist but when you go round to his house, you can’t help noticing that all his books and CD’s are in strict alphabetical order and he goes mad if anyone messes them up, the knob-headed cunt
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Paddy and Murphy are walking past a skip. Paddy notices a mirror lying on top and picks it up and stares at it with a puzzled look.
“What’s a matter?” asks Murphy.
“Well I Know the face but can’t put a name to it” replies Paddy.
Murphy takes the mirror, looks at it and says “It’s me ya thick cunt”…..
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A binmen goes into the Chinese restaurant and asks ” where’s yer bin” ?
“Hong Kong” replies the Chinese guy.
“No, where’s yer bin? ”
“Hong Kong” replies the Chinese guy again.
“Noooo, where’s yer wheelie bin ?”
And the Chinese guy replies ” i wheelie bin to Hong Kong”
……………………………
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Brilliant cunting.
I have a need of a skip roughly every two years just get rid of the shit that we seem to collect. How the fuck that happens I don’t know, but every time said skip is delivered, within 20 mins there’s some pikey cunt park his van outside and try and blag me for any scrap metal. He’s clearly in cahoots with the skip company.
And, yes, the fucking ‘ooooh, haven’t seen you in ages’ neighbour come out of the fucking woodwork to ask if they can chuck a few bits in.
I’m due another skip soon. It normally takes me about 15 mins to fill it. I’m gonna be fucking ready for these cunts next time, waiting, absolutely fucking shitfaced on vodka, smoking a fag and wearing my dressing gown and slippers. No one will dare come near me or my beautifully filled skip.
Cunts
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Yes they do work in cahoots.
Anyone gets a skip and you’ll have transits, lutons and flatbeds doing flybys like bluebottles round a fresh shit in no time!
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Same thing happened when I was working on a building project. The building company went bust and we went to secure the site. Literally within minutes of us turning up – first thing on a Friday morning – , there were fucking all sorts of cunts driving past looking onto the site. How the fuck these cunts get wind of something that happened literally the night before (in the middle of fucking nowhere in this case) really fucking pisses me off.
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As our respected football professor Norman, what are your thoughts on the many Paedo Uniteds that seem to be a feature orf our national game?
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Don’t put your shit in my skip there fucking expensive but take what you want out of it.
Gives me more room for my shit and stops the collector bloke banging on about level fuckin’ loads…..
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Is there a skip protocol ? There should be.
Over the last couple of years I have had two skips in order to get rid of accumulated shit in the shed. Anyway the skip parasites were out in force on both occasions.
Now I don’t care if some cunt wants to take my shit away but why can’t the cunts knock on the door and ask.
The local gyppo pair are constantly doing drive bys and when they see a skip the eyes light up.
Went out on the last occasion when they were half up on the skip itself and wondered out loud what was going on. No embarrassment from them at all the cunt faced bastards. Anyway they soon fucked off when the German Shepherd appeared.
My neighbours are cunts who don’t even bother to be smarmy. They wait till night and chuck their crap on then. Know full well it’s them as one day said crap is in their garden and the next on my skip.
Cunts.
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Put The Panel from BBC Question time in a skip, Tim Stanley looks like a bloke who would play a tranny in the Rocky Horror Picture show, there’s a do-gooder in geek glasses, a fat Scottish lesbian, a puzzled looking bloke, Alan Johnson who looks like a fat David Bowie and it’s hosted by good old senile Bumbling David Dimbleby, cunts.
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Just turned over and question cunts is on, stayed long enough to see some twat lefty deny immigration had anything to do with the problems in the NHS. Turned over again, same shit from the BBC every week.
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What a fucking voice that Laurie Penny has got as well.
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It’s like the sound of bagpipes been boiled in Porridge.
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Who the fuck is she anyway apart from an annoying cunt.
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Good description Harry
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Has Andrew Sachs just died? Or will I believe any old shit people tell me?
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Just saw that on the BBC but will wait till I hear it from a reliable news source before I believe it.
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She is another fucking feminist cuntress that writes for the new statesman
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He’s dead. Just read it on sky, liked Manuel, I feel like him where I work, I get under paid, treat like shit and my cunt employer is making me redundant in March, cunts!
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I have just read that about Andrew Sachs as well.
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I liked Faulty Towers, it would probably be banned now like In Sickness and in Health / Death to us Part, now we are stuck with Citizen Kahn, still open all hours and that Shit Comedy Closet gay David Walliams is doing at the moment.
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I’d never heard of Still Open All Hours until you mentioned it.
Just googled it.
That just wrong, even if David Jason is in it………..
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It’s fucking shit, it’s Granville trying to be Arkwright. It’s painful to watch, Ronnie Barker must be spinning in his grave.
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Switched to sky news and what a lovely pair of tits in the blue top
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She looks like she drives a Range Rover through Chelsea mind.
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Que ?……………………………
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The biggest parasites are the ones who wait until the early hours and then throw all their shite in your skip. A number of houses on the street where I used to lives were renovated over the years, meaning they required. It never failed to amaze me the type of things that people used to throw in someone else’s skip. I woke up one morning to find that someone had dumped two huge wardrobes in my neighbour’s skip.
Even when my house was being built, every time the builder hired a skip, you could guarantee that some cheeky cunt would dump a load of their own shite in it overnight. One time, some dumb cunt dumped a desk, that had an envelope with his home address on it in a drawer. The builder went around early the next day with some of his lads and put the desk on the roof of the guy’s care. It was accompanied by a note that simply read; “This delivery is free. The next one will cost you a window”.
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Care? That should be car.
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I would still jizz on those tits though Cunt
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I liked Spike Milligan. Still read his books from time to time. Didn’t he have “I told you I was ill” as an epitaph on his gravestone.
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I don’t want to over do it on the jokes, but earlier i was thinking of my favourite Spike Milligan joke, and then you mentioned him.
A Chinese guy asks the captain of a ship for a job.
The captain gives him a job in charge of supplies.
A few weeks later , the captain was thinking the Chinese guy must not have turned up, as he hadn’t seen him and nobody was looking after supplies.
Then one day he walked by a funnel, and the Chinese guy jumps out and shouts ” SUPLISE”
………………
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Haha fucking classic!!
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Can anyone help, Harry Balls turns 40 tommorow 2nd December, if I have a mid life crisis is there a crisis I should avoid? The only thing I will say is I’m becoming a more crumpy cunt with age, I wish it was 1996, things were better then. If you got a parking ticket it was a fair cop as a warden would stick the ticket on me old Ford Scorpio. Now the cunts ticket you by number plate recognition, you can’t even piss in a doorway without a pretend pig (pcso) turning up on a bike via some grass watching you on cctv. Music was less annoying to, you could smoke in night clubs and drives a car without slowing for speed chicanes or speed bumps! At 40 I’d say the only good thing about 2016 is been able to moan to fellow cunts about stuff that pisses me off on this website
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Cue another bloody song. Seems to be the day for them…
https://chascmusic.wordpress.com/2015/06/05/mid-life-crisis-unplugged/
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Cheers Sir! Old Harry liked the electronic version!
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I’m 41 , and its not a mid life crisis you’re experiencing.
The world has gone to pot, with only a few glimmers of hope, and the younger generation are lost.
Its just harder to cope with, coz when you get to this age, breaking a chair over someone’s head is no longer socially acceptable…….
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Still Games a good comedy, One Foot in the Grave – liked that cos he was a miserable cunt who used to try and get his own back on society. Loved Rik Mayall in Bottom and the Young Ones. Porridge was good, Steptoe and Son, Dad’s Army fantastic, comedy now is shite, the last modern comedy I laughed at was Man Down with Greg Davies in it. I find no women funny, ie: Miranda, Victoria Wood, just never have found women funny.
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Porn is better than it was in 1996, lost count the amount of times me and me mate lurked outside a newsagents to by a wank mag. Suppose 2016 that’s one good thing about the Internet.
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Me and my mates used to go lurking in the woods for porn, but the best place for a discarded nudy book was along the side of the dual carriageway……..
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I checked into a hotel recently and the girl at reception was giving me information about the facilities, WiFi, tv etc. and casually slipped into the conversation that the porn channel was disabled…..sick bitch.
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Joking! It’s every mans right to have TV wanking material provided by a hotel.
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Gentlemans relaxation material
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Its two in the morning here, and i think I’ve just woke every cunt up with my laughing.
Brilliant…………..
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I have that trouble with neighbours putting shite in my skips, they do it at night and think I’m that stupid and won’t notice. One time I posted dog shit through their letter box in retaliation, and when that shit’s from a couple of Great Danes we’re not talking about a little dollop.
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I hope they didn’t have the fucking audacity to chuck those turds in your skip as well.
Would have been something coming round and biting you in the arse.
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Did anyone have Andrew Saches on deadpool?
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Are those two cunts, Russell Brand and Jonathan Woss going to his funeral?…. Pair of fucking cunts…
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Don’t spend three figures on a fucking skip chaps. That’s what we all pay our coucil tax for, seats down – dust sheet in -then fill the fucker up – then watch the public serpent squirm as you fill up the household waste recycling centre’s quota for landfill. Our car’s brand new, but still gets used simply because we buy a car to use the fucker, not for it to look pretty.
Unless I was infirm, I’d never line the pockets of a greasy firm of fat cunts hiring skips.
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Back in the 1980s I hauled a complete BSA Bantam out of a skip, but I asked the owner first. Chap even went indoors and found up the log book.
Now that’s what I call recycling…
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…. and I’ll bet you’re still trying to get it started / run properly !!! Sometimes, somethings are best left in a skip. As kids, a mate swapped a perfectly good running BSA C11 field bike for a ‘better’ Bantam … we must have pushed that thing further than it had ever travelled in it’s life in an attempt to get it started. It was a ‘character building’ cunt ..!!!
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I’m a biker from a family of bikers, most of whom have fine collections of old british bikes, but none of them use them because they’re so unreliable and basically shit.
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I passed it on to a chap who was a Bantam fanatic. It was a red ex-GPO 125 so he was in with a chance, the later ones where BSA tried to wring more power out of the design were apparently more, ahem… temperamental?
A B175 goes past my house every day, I’m just waiting for the bang as his clutch disintegrates.
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