Can I cunt lanyards? Especially people who go shopping with there lanyards flapping around there necks thinking it makes them look important while reaching for shit role off a shelf in Asda.
I have the misfortune of wearing a lanyard for my job and it makes me feel like a fucking branded animal, I try and stuff it in my pocket but get told to wear it by my arsehole shite business manager (whatever the fuck that means) he’s useless cunt. I never where my lanyard outside work cos why the fuck would I be wanting to be reminded about the shit hole that I work at in my own time, so I HATE LANYARDS
Nominated by: Harry Balls
The only lanyard I ever wore with a sense of pride was when I wore my army twos uniform. Although I was in the Signals so scratch that last.
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Be glad, I had a fucking crossbelt and buttons like christmas tree baubles to commemorate some fucking battle where some cunt forgot to bring enough ammo and they ended up using the buttons from their tunics!
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Lanyard is a word which sounds/infers nothing like the function for which it is intended.
It sounds like something you would attach a sail to on a ship or some measuring device used by farmers to map out field crops. Instead it describes a means for petty middle managers (who are usually short with a Napoleon complex) to feel important about themselves.
The word “lanyard” is a cunt, lanyards themselves are cunts, and people who wear them (and are not embarrassed by them) are cunts!
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Lanyard skynyrd they should of reformed under that name
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The lanyard is a form of Jason King syndrome,I have also heard it said that the gay community popularised them some time ago,Its believed that a lot of sociopaths like to wear them as it associates its self with the noose around ones neck,And it is also believed that women who love bondage love to wear them and get their kicks out of doing so,The jurys out on this one,Many thanks ANDZ.
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For more details see staff.
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I have heard that biggins wears his as a posing pouch before whipping it off and using it as a gag when restraining Tom Daley at the municipal pool.
That’s when barrymore moves in with the inflatable banana.
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Quite right Andz, Barrymore and Biggins were seen wearing them while inflating a blow-up banana at an Elton John pool party. Lanyards popularity took off from there,as did pooves buggering each other to death in a watery environment,and,shockingly,inflatable pool toys.
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Very a true bird,The gay like to actively wear them while a foraging around public toilets or should i say cottages while on the pull for another gay,They use lanyards as a sort of mating symbol ,The gay use these lanyards as cock toys as well,their a strange bunch.
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Sorry dick i was calling you Bird,I just looked at pic and not name,I must be going blind,Say no more lol.
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Anyone have that cunt Alan Thicke in their pool? “growing pains in the arse” star dead at 69 He was playing hockey with his son and died of a heart attack what a ironically canadian way to die.
Blood pressure meds could of saved his life but alot of the celebricunts eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and convince themselves that they got a iron heart because of their increased vitamin intake
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lanyards, name tags, Jewlery ect fucking dangerous in my day to day, the most I have is a chain with the keys on it, simply because some wanker stole the keys a year ago and I had a shit time cutting all the locks off and replacing them.
(keys turned up in a bush outside the gate a week later)
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I am supposed to wear one at work. Bought an I/d card holder that clips to my belt or pocket, problem solved. Lanyards get in the way no matter what you do at least my solution meets the letter if not the spirit of the game. Besides no member of the public is allowed past the doors unescorted and there are key fob locks on the doors. So sod the lot of them.
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They have them at my gaff. As a contractor I just have one from the “Here today, gone tomorrow!” pool while the permies get one with their mugshot and name printed on them.
There’s no lanyard on mine and it lives in my pocket until I need to get in/out of the place.
The permies have to wear theirs which is a great cunt-test because anyone who goes into a meeting with one and then adjusts it to be face-forward after they’ve sat down is invariably going to be a cunt.
They think it’s being proper to do this but secretly they yearn for recognition – which they never get from me because I am a cunt!
It’s a wonder the card printer hasn’t run out of ink given the amount of permies (as in permanent) staff they get through. I was once in a meeting where some cunt got a bit arsey (early days trying to assert himself but laughingly failing miserably to impress) when I asked, stoney-faced: “And you are?”
Quick look down, adjust card to be face-forward and then a few index finger taps on it. Maintaining eye contact I then said: “I’m sorry, are you having a heart attack?”
He was only there a few weeks and then gone. I don’t understand how these cunts get through the interview process because I can’t imagine them being any less of a cunt even under interview circumstances.
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Bad enough they make us wear this fucking outfit with the arrows on and a number on the front, if they make us wear a lanyard rooftop protest it is.
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Another way to spot a student cunt – Apart from the stupid coloured luminous gonk hair, the ludicrous clothes, the ‘Remain’ badges, the being glued to their iPhone, the bad manners, the irritating voice, and the endless bullshit – is that the fuckers all wear lanyards…
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No.. the best way to spot a student Cunt is to speak to him/her thus requiring a social interaction at which point the pathetic Cunts head explodes due to the the perceived stress involved… total Snowflake shit Cunts….
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