Heat magazine

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Heat magazine needs a massive cunting…

What a pile of dogshit this rag is. No doubt read by illiterate fat Kathy types that work in the public sector and fat slag Croydon face lift dole breeders.

Latest edition features article on Katie Price having her vagina re-lined and tightened by Balfour Beatty.

Nominated by: we’ve got a Cuntbox

34 thoughts on “Heat magazine”

  1. It’s already happening Trumps life has just been threatened actually it was a meger red herring but still and the sick cunts in the biased media are basically saying he brought it on himself.

    Also these celebrity magazines are pure fucking shite just “soapy feel bad for me gossip stories” because some sick entitled millionaire cunt had a bad day and sprained their ankle or gained 20 pounds. So bloody what you cunts! celebrity worship is toxic I think

    • That would be like relining the channel tunnel. Once phase one is complete they can do that grease ball lover Cheryl rebored as well.

  2. If they’re re-lining Jordan’s lady bits do you know if they’re using steel or carbon fibre? Once a tunnel gets to a certain depth I don’t think you’re supposed to use steel in case it causes a spark and sets off any trapped gas.

    I only ask because it only applies to really, really, really deep holes.

  3. Gina Miller is doing the rounds, the Mail the BBC, how long till she turns up in Heat or Ok. She has now teamed up with Wee smells of it Nicky who herself is due a centrefold in Farmers Weekly.

    Heat is a prime example of shit being packaged and sold to a gullible public who lap it up rather than pay any thought to who is running their lives or what alternatives there are.

    Jordan’s bleached arsehole is more important than their kids education or future to the masses.

    We truly get what we deserve.

  4. I wouldn’t be too quick to cunt these magazines. I’ve made a few quid out of them over the years by making up or embellishing tales of a sexual nature and sending them in to the problem page. The fact that I send 4-5 at a time doesn’t seem to bother them,and some of the earnest advice they dish out in the published replies is far more amusing than anything I can make up.
    One of my finest was a tale about discovering that my Thai mail-order bride was a hell of a lot more of a man than I could ever be,and did the expert think that I could claim compensation under the trade description act.
    The reply was wonderfully OTT,suggesting that love flourishes in the most unlikely places,and was worth the price of the magazine alone.

  5. Excuse me …” fat Kathy types” I am a fat Kathy with Dyslexia and I would not give this rag a second look. I am also originally from Croydon and am currently registered as my husbands career because he is severely disabled, (we have both worked most of our lives and paid our taxes) . I still wouldn’t read this rag. So ummm yeah. A bit lost for words here really which as many here will know is not like me at all!

    • I thank you can probably thank Kathy Burke AKA Waynetta Slob. Don’t take it personally it’s more of a compliment to her that she has forever linked the name Kathy to the lowest common denominator of benefit Britain.

      I see you left Croydon, which is second only to Liverpool as a place people leave as soon as they get the chance.

      • lol when I lived in Croydon, it was still a good place to live it was some 30 years ago. I knew it was not personal and I agree Kathy Burke as Waynetta was very funny.
        If you think Croydons bad you should visit Nottingstan. Both myself and my husband are from small seaside places and ended up here by sheer misfortune and are looking to move to a smaller rural seaside town.

      • You should try Northampski or Lutonstan, Hastings if you like a drug haze and needles and pebble beaches, Brighton if you like all the above with some gender bending. Seriously though the I would like one of the proponents of mass uncontrolled immigration to stand up and tell us how British towns and cities only remaining British in name is good for the country. London has fallen, the figures given for total immigration are over 10 million since 1950 and these figures are I believe fudged.

        When does immigration become invasion?

  6. Walkers Crisps deserve a cunting.
    Not content with employing that Grand Master of Cuntitude, Lineker, to advertise their shit crisps,they have announced a 10% price rise due to Brexit! They say that exchange rate fluctuations are to blame,even though the potatoes are grown and crisps produced in the Uk.
    Considering that the bags are 90% air,perhaps they could save their “increased costs” by getting some cunt to squeeze some of the air out before sealing. Or,better still,sack that bell end Lineker. Their crisps would still be shit,but I’d buy a bag just to say thanks for getting rid of him.

    • Boycott the bastards, they’re not even that good they give you acne and make you fat whats to like? your right the bags should say now with 5% more air 🙂

  7. I’d like to cunt the word “elite”. I’m not sure why but this term has crept in to fashion with the flock of sheep that is the media. Every time I hear it, it makes me feel sick.

    The “ruling elite”, the “metropolitan elite”, the “establishment elite”…who the fuck are they? Because I’ve never seen them. And who they fuck do they think they are “ruling”? Last time I checked we were a democracy ruled only by the will of the people. What Brexit has done is give us a glimpse in to the minds of the people in parliament, in the civil service, the judiciary, the media, in that they truly believe they are an “elite” and the rest of us are just ill-intentioned or ill-informed idiots. Well you can fuck off, I don’t need any “elites” telling me what to do, whether that be in Britain or in Belgium.

    I even heard his excellency Nigel Farage use it today on the Marr show (another jug eared cunt), disappointing.

    • That’s the one of the many things I despise about this Miller cunt… She sees herself as better than working people and superior in her opinions because she believes she is part on an ‘elite’… I really do think old Sandpaper Snatch might take the crown off Lily Mong for my cunt of the year, and I loathe Lily Spazmo…

  8. I’d also like to cunt “Peter from Putney” who called in to LBC last night. Talking about reversing Brexit he said “you would have thought that all the Sun and Mail readers would have got it through their thick heads by now that Brexit is an economic disaster when they found they were paying 20% more for their foreign holidays”.

    Well Peter you cunt, why don’t you get this through your thick head. Trump won the primaries partially on the ticket that China has been fucking America over, how? Devaluation of their currency. And why do they do that? So they can EXPORT MORE. Now we have in effect had exactly the same thing happen here, except naturally. And if it’s so good to have a strong pound Peter, why don’t we raise to say 10 dollars to the pound? why not $1000? Probably because all of exporting industries such as finance, insurance etc would have a fucking heart attack.

    Get that through your thick head Peter you fucking cunt from Putney.

    • Putney… Typical arrogant mockney monkey gobshite cunt… And anyone (absolutely anyone: from rough snatch Miller to some cunt from Putney) who wants to ignore and reverse a democratic vote is more on a par with Nazis than any newspaper…

    • Ahh
      That cunt Peter called katie Hopkins this morning on Lbc and was calling sun and daily mail readers plain stupid and that they should realise that everyone else wants to stay in the Eu.

      Katie gave him both barrels for two mins in her usual fab style and then cut the cunt off.

  9. Oh and don’t just take my word for it, I suppose Mervyn King ex-governer of the bank of England has a thick head too.

    Where’s my bloody valium.

  10. Apparently sleeping on piles of old magazines can be very therapeutic if you have any back issues…..

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