Australia

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Uluru Kata Tjuta national park

Australia is fucking shit, that’s why all the fuckers want to come here. I went there for a month and it was a big mistake. I was bored shitless after a couple of weeks. Full of back packer cunts doing there now obligatory “gap year” and thinking they are having such a huge fucking adventure when really it is a sanitized conveyor belt transporting the spotty youths from one hostel to another.

A cunt of a country full of cunts and the only people who want to visit it are cunts as well.

Nominated by: Skidmark Eggfart

25 thoughts on “Australia”

  1. Me and Mrs Boaby went there back in 2002, it was OK but we made the mistake of going in December, fuck me was it hot, we went out to Ayres Rock (that picture) and the fucking flies everywhere were a fucking nightmare,
    I guess the Ozzies are just fucking dirty bastards.
    Shit people, shit beer, shit food, shit weather (too hot) and shit lethal wildlife.
    Give me two weeks in Portugal or even Spain any day.

    It was billed as a holiday of a lifetime, indeed, once you’ve been once that’s enough for a lifetime!

  2. My Dad once told me that my uncle was a merchant seaman who got thrown out of Australia for drunkenness and acting the cunt. Now that was some fuckin achievement. I would have said that he would have blended in quite nicely. Anyway I’ve never been but can say the Australian culture imported to this country has all been utter shite. So Australia is a huge cunt for me. Oh, and Perth is welcome to Rolf Harris to do as they will, the filthy paedo cunt. That’s a bit of Australian culture I’d like to see.

    • As the old gag goes;

      Q. What’s the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral?

      A. There is one less drunk at the funeral.

      I’ll get my coat…….

  3. My girlfriend is always nagging me to go there with her, she’s half Oz & half Italian, she nags me every two years when she goes there for her 4 or 6 week family holiday. Since I had a bad head injury when I was 18, I cannot stand the fucking heat here, never mind out fucking there, and I do not like those big cunting planes that they go on anyway, yet she still asks.

    All that’s needed is one crazed goat fucker on there, and that’s it. I am always begging her not to go, but off she goes with her mum, dad, and sisters and comes back as brown as a paki.Besides that, did anyone see this fucking great thing that ran off with a mouse the other day?

    https://apple.news/ACZ4UsZjeNu-3PXI5Bb0URA

    • Fuck me! Who needs a cunting cat when you’ve got that fucker living under your TV stand!……. Cunting thing, Australia, nah, I’ll stick to Blighty thanks.

    • That is a big arsed bugger! I’ve read a fair bit about these Huntsman spiders. Together with the Goliath Birdeater, they’re bloody huge. When you go to belt the fucker with a broom handle & it grabs the handle off you and belts you instead, you know it’s time to shit yourself and slide away sharpish.

      I knew a bloke several years ago who used to travel to Oz quite a bit with his work, and said pretty much the same thing. “Absolutely everything over there is out to kill you…snakes, ants, marine life, spiders, plants…the whole fucking lot”.

  4. I’ve lived in this cunting heat all my life – except for two-and-a-half years in Worthing, West Sussex (cunt of a place) – and I find it very hard to take. It gets worse in Brisbane, where I spent a few years during the 80s (and fuck that White Shoe Brigade from the Gold Coast too).
    But what of Chester? This cunt I know in Sydders hails originally from Chester.
    Crooked as a dog’s hind leg, the cunt. Superior attitude too.
    http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/01/24/1042911552191.html

    • I used to visit a mate of mine in Worthing back in the ’90s. After several pints we’d stop by a burger place called Porkies. Top nosh. Apart from that, you’re right – Worthing is a cunt of a place.

  5. Never been there, never wanted to .Too fucking hot , natives are thick pissheads and it’s full of stuff that can kill you. But one of the main reasons is that awful fucking accent like words are being squeezed through their fucking snouts.
    No worries mate as well. I ‘m not worrying about it you inbred turd and I’m not your fucking mate, capiche?

  6. Anyone thats old enough to remember total shite australian TV like “the young doctors” or “a country practice” knows it,s is a shitty backwater….

    • How about Hey Hey? They were weird but thats what made it so brilliant. Anyone who’s brave enough to Have TISM on is alright with me powerful performance https://youtu.be/hG4janHITY8 And as Zappa would say its not just comedy music its comedy music done well

  7. Where did Australia get its money?
    Was watching the telly the other night and the camera panned in on some city skyline , all skyscrapers and more skyscrapers.
    Back not so long ago it was all small towns .
    I’m not taking the piss, i was just wondering where it all came from……

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