Naive and gullible to the fact that the people they are looking at with fake tans and beeming white teeth are as fucking bored with their pointless lives as they are – they just hide it better with camera smiles, instagram filters, photoshop and clothes they keep the receipts for.
I had to use instagram for business recently and the whole thing made me sick. I can honestly say it is full of the most egotistical narcissistic (that took a few times to speel) braindead morons I have ever had the displeasure to encounter.
I actually had to meet a few of the 1,000,000 plus followers “icons”. All of them are as thick as pig shit, just slightly more intelligent than the mass of moronic retards that follow their every move – only because they realise how to manipulate them so they can make money.
Oh and they don’t look anything like they do in the pictures – for those dumb cunts who are still looking for all the birds they see on instagram, thinking must live in a small village in Sweden.
Obviously, I had enough, hired a lemming to do my social media and went back to handling financial matters instead.
Nominated by: Toomanycuntstoomanymanycunts
The world was a bit more normal before the invention of twitter and facebook wasn’t it? Guess you can say the same bout anything.
Facebook reminds me of like a 1984 type mindset where if I said the wrong thing I could lose my job or something I said could easily be taken out of context, bollocks to that I don’t need the grief!
Various family and friends want me to use it but I can’t be bothered to be honest, its a pissy way to destroy my own privacy and freedom.
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When one of these idiots bangs on about how great social meejah is, and how many friends they have on there, I just say this: “Wow that’s great! But I hope you haven’t got anything a bit racy on there or have friended an unsavoury type. You know, just in case you need to go for a job interview or anything.”
“They’re not allowed to use it to prejudice job applications. I’ve checked, it’s against the law!”
“Officially yes, but let’s just say that they all do it, and unfortunately social media look-ups seem to be the main initial applicant filter long before a CV is even looked at with regards to your pertinence or qualification for the role. Sorry that’s just the way it is. So you’ll forgive me if I don’t sign up and friend you. I’d rather let my CV do the talking, cheers.”
And watch the colour drain from their faces. If nothing else, it’ll cost them most of a weekend to review their posts and friends.
I’d also like to cunt businesses, societies, etc., who’s main form of contact/notification is via one of these sites. Fine if that’s posted on the main page but don’t force me to have one of these site’s logins so that I can scratch beneath the surface in order to see the shite underneath!
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Very true. No way in hell would I ever get involved with all this Facebook wankery. Once again it’s a mind-control tool designed to invade privacy, personality-collecting and aimed at the sheep. Time and again I hear “Oh I couldn’t live without Facebook?”. What the shit? Sad, sad cunts. We all seemed to manage perfectly well before it was around?
People have asked me “Are you on Facebook?” To which I reply “Am I fuck” which kills the conversation stone dead.
It’s a pretty dangerous thing really, as the footprint it leaves and the information on you which is easily accessible to others is scary. These soppy cunts who brag that they have so many “friends” are fucking tragic. People who aren’t real friends at all, and would more than likely never meet in person anyway…just incase they were fucking chainsaw murderers or something. Why people need to broadcast the fact that they’ve just had a satisfying shit, I’ve no idea? No level headed person even cares.
I don’t want to be tracked down on Facebook by people from years ago ie old classmates…as I fucking hated school and don’t want to ever see any of them again. Life has moved on. Twatter and Facecock can build their false mindfuck empires without my feeble input. No thanks very much.
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It was that “friends reunited” shit that started all this bollocks.
I have 2 mates from school who were genuine friends. I could pick up the phone now, call them and say I needed summat and I know within the 3hr drive it would take them to be here I’d have it, and me them.
We see each other on high-days and holidays but they are true friends. They have my real address and telephone numbers.
In 2003 I had the misfortune of bumping into one of my old “school chums” when I was back home visiting my folks. This cunt was the school punchbag and while I was neither a bully nor bullied, you knew who was.
This cunt then tells me about X, Y and Z who’ve contacted him through “friends they-were-shite-heads” and I took a step back: “Z!?! Wasn’t he the one that used to hold your hand under the red-hot tap in the school bogs???”
“Oh, that was just school hijinks. He’s married now with two kids working for an engineering firm!”
Hmmm, the days of morning assemblies in tears having had a run in with the cunt all forgotten about, eh!
They were twats in school and they’re cunts now. Had they been of any friendly worth they’d have my fucking number! Cunts!
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Chas did a whole album about this sort of shit. The title track says it all really…
https://chascmusic.wordpress.com/old-friends/
And there’s a track on greybeard “My fascinating Facebook friend”. Not one of his best but contains the classic line ‘we don’t need to know every time that you take a poo’ which pretty much sums it up…
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Maybe I’m just a grumpy old cunt but I don’t understand all this social media malarky. What is it? What does it do? Why would I want it? Facebook is valued at billions of dollars, why? What does it make? How does it make money. Do you have to pay for it? Im just really confused by it all. What ever happened to reading a good book and listening to the wireless?
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All this Facebook and Twitter stuff is of no interest to me whatsoever…I don’t need to know what some cunt had for lunch or what time they went for a shit.
Seems to me that every cunt needs to be noticed nowdays.
Maybe I’m just the wrong generation, but I don’t get it.
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You are not alone. Fucked if I know why complete strangers want to tell the world they have just had a dump, put a coat on or whatever. I don’t fucking care and don’t want/need to know.
Just in case you think I look at Faecesbook to know this, I don’t. Did once and that was enough.
Cunts the lot of em.
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I traveled by train from Wales into England last week.A journey of 45 minutes.The train was almost full,and 99% of the passengers were using their phones;no doubt to Facefuck or Twatter e.t.c.I sat and admired the lovely scenery and made 3 REAL friends,just by chatting to them face to face (exchanged addresses,phone numbers) albeit they were my age (56) or older.A young lad sitting near me quipped to his partner that he had just made 4 friends through Facefuck……What a sad cunt;4 to add to the 4 fuckin” hundred that he”s never met…and never will!………..ARSE.
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The only thing I ever learned from Facebook is that a lot of people I thought were ok beforehand are actually massive cunts.
By the way, is it too early to nominate Richard Branson for yet another cunting? Only I received a letter from Virginmedia this morning informing me that the broadband internet is going up by another 3 quid a month AGAIN. Greedy, grasping, grinning, bearded, can’t even ride a fucking pushbike CUNT!!
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he’s probably having some plastic surgery after his velocipede malfunction
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That’s four increases in two years the wanker. Wish the bike saddle had gone up his backside, springs, stem and all.
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Cancel Mr.B go with a another ISP if your not satisfied. Was their a reason for the price hike? If they are dicking you around, leave or stay if ya like.
Unless you want to stay with a man who looks like the flying dragon dog falcor from the neverending story. http://imgur.com/gallery/1R1EhmU
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Last time virgin put my bill up, they said it was ok, we were now having BT sports for free. Great, they may as well said I had gout. It wasn’t fucking free if the tariff increases, you beardy wanker.
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What exciting times we live in.
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I have 14 friends on Facebook, all of who either live abroad or far enough away to not see very often. The rest of my friends are within 25 miles of me and easily reachable by phone or riding to them.
From what I can tell from a bit of snooping at profiles of people I know it’s mainly a platform for lads to boast how many reps they did in the gym on arm/leg day and women to post daily pictures of their little shits.
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#notfuckinglikely – Unlike
Oh look a Pidgeon
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What is so fucking great about their very ordinary lives that they want to share it with others. Do they all wake up hoping that some other retard has opened his tiny shitlife to them so they can be grateful.
I cannot imagine what these numbnuts are about, use what is left of your brains , go do something and make it something so interesting that the horde of gaping twats awaiting your latest news will faint from excitement.
I once had to join Twitter because a good friend died and his wife put all the news about the funeral etc on Twitter. That was 5 years ago and despite trying to get rid of the fucking thing it’s like a bogie on your finger, it will not be shaken off.
Trouserbulge, it keeps saying ,everyone wants to hear what particular bits of food came out of your mouth while brushing, what colour are your Richards, don’t forget to share..
I’ve got a jockstrap more interesting than these drones.
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Facebook can go fuck itself. Cunts think it’s weird not to be on the fucking thing. When asked why not, my only answer is “I don’t do anything worth reading about…and neither do you!” Also, cunts moan about the NSA, government snooping and erosion of privacy, then post every detail of their boring as shit life on twatbook. When my parents were growing up, they had rationing and post war gloom to contend with. Generation snowflake get hysterical if the have slow wi fi. Cunts…
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Proof of how thick the Facecunts are is evidenced by the many fraudsters who put their shitty lives on it when they go on a swing or something whilst claiming they can’t walk and then get nicked because some other sad cunt working for plod sees it.
They deserve all they get the cunts.
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Agree, Johnson… The amount of lying bastards on Facebook is enormous… Another trick is the ‘illness’ sob story… Some bullshitter makes out a relative is ill or spazzed up (usually a kid) and gullible twats lavish them with gifts, cards, and even money…
And anyone who does a YouTube ‘reaction’ video while watching a TV show or reading a book (like Sherlock, Harry Potter or some other shite) should be disintegrated… Cunt Trumpets…
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I thought I was the only one that refered to the medium of emotionally needy narcissistic fucking wankers as Facecunt.Glad to see I am not.
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Social media is an open window for every narcissist, looney, pervo, oddball and cunt on the planet… YouTube is also riddled with ‘look at me’ mongs… Whoever invented Facebook and Twitter should be shot… Giving a multitude of freaks and self obsessed cunts such a global platform? Fuck that for a sack of shite…
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Kids are cunts…
Looking forward to the little fuckers going back to school… I am sick of these little bastards ruining my dinner hour with their screaming, tantrums, and those sadistic little cunts that chase pigeons… Not to mention their parents doing fuck all when the brats act up and are generally foul… Fucking cunts…
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What sort of retarded cunt runs through a town centre frightening birds? Too young to know better, my arse… I got up to all sorts as a whippersnapper, but I never picked on dumb animals minding their own business… A cunt is as a cunt does regardless of age (Venables and Thompson anyone?)… As their riff-raff parents do nothing, their should be a warden (lie the Parkie from Viz) who throws a net over the nasty little cunts…
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Very true. Most kids today are horrid little cunts and their space cadet parents are even bigger cunts for not being proper parents. They don’t believe in discipline in case it “stifles their darling child’s development”. What a bag of unicorn hipster piss.
These modern parents spend too much time wanking over alternative pixie-parenting websites instead of trying to practice with that very rare animal of commonsense. Time and again I see these little over-spoiled fannyturds running amok and causing havoc in public whilst their total cunt parents stand there wondering what to do about it. Cuntish behaviour illustrated.
Kids will be kids…but when their behaviour in public is totally out of order and new age mummy and daddy choose to ignore them and check their facefuck stats on their phones instead, it’s parental failure on a grand scale and just pisses everyone else off.
These liberal parents need to fuck out. As for Thompson and Venables…they should have received a round each in the back of the head and JCB’d into a landfill with all the other waste.
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I remember one idiot posting: “At work, bored!”
Only for their boss to see it and reply: “Bored? Sacked more like! #P45”
I do hope the cunt followed through and sacked them! We have a t’internet link at our place and you can drop on YouTube, BBC shitePlayer, but there are blocks on all social meejah links. The 3G/4G reception in our gaff is abysmal and so at any given time there’s 10 or so foetuses outside updating their statuses by swiping their smart phones.
When the older folk (i.e. the workers) go out of the office it’s usually forra tab and a brew, oh and that thing called “a chat”.
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