Plumbers

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Plumbers deserve a cunting.

Just had one round today because the bath is really slow to drain, after him sucking in breath through his teeth he tells me I need the trap replacing and the pipe ‘snaked’ to clear the blockage causing the slow draining.

OK, I say, just do it, it needs to be done.

Straight away he comes back, it’s a certain type of trap which I need to go and get from the suppliers. Almost an hour later he comes back with the trap, he rips the old trap out, snakes the pipe clearing any blockage and finally fits the new trap.

Overall, 2.5 hours (1 hour sourcing the trap, cost of £8.20+VAT = under £10) and I get hit with a bill for £138.40.

Fuck me, being a plumber is a license to print money

Nominated by: Boaby

20 thoughts on “Plumbers”

  1. I’d like to give my avatar on here a cunting. It gives the impression that I’m a sour cunt. Yes I know I’m being a sour cunt on a site with other sour cunts cunting people but that’s beside the fucking point.

    • I think you avatar has to do something cuntish before we can cunt it? Unless you use that avatar on other sites and have printed it out as a full size mask and walk around the streets wearing it, that would be different.

      But if your point is your avatar makes you look like a sour cunt on a site you visit for the express purpose of being a sour cunt and it’s a random avatar that just happens to perfectly expres your cunting persona, you should also point out you are a lucky cunt.

      Unless of course you are a plumber,

  2. I’ve got a mate who works as a plumber,and yes,they really are robbing cunts. Even his own mother,after he ripped her off on the price of a new heating system,said that he was so tight that he’d “steal a worm off a blind hen.” He took it as a compliment.

  3. And, of course, the cunt had one on his van, but instead of fitting it he fucked off to another job, did that, got paid, then came back to yours, got it off the van, did your job and billed you again for the same hour.

    Frankly though, why didn’t you do the repair yourself or at least investigate the problem?

    • I did try to sort it myself, I tried plunging and even tried caustic soda but that made no difference which meant the blockage was further down the pipe than the trap under the plughole.
      Once that was established it was easier to get a plumber as the pipe needed snaking and it would be cheaper than buying the tool myself, at least that is what I thought.

  4. Here are my most hated groups of cunt. It would be a long list but here is my personal top 5 picks:

    1. Lawyers/solicitors – lying cunts.
    2. IFA twats – greedy cunts.
    3. Politicians – useless cunts.
    4. Civil servants – lazy cunts (and don’t forget the pension, cunts).
    5. Tradesmen (inc. plumbers) – thieving cunts.

    • I’d put politicians higher than that RwaC, as they are, without exception, useless, greedy, lying, lazy, thieving cunts, especially the ex plumbers. I’ve recently been enjoying myself golfing in Yorkshire and Harleying up to Aviemore for TITG (look it up) but would have hurried back earlier if I had known Nicola (Wee Burney, the Russian Poacher, Jimmy Crankie) Sturgeon was being cunted. She is the definitive political cunt and deserves cunting to the end of time.

  5. What annoys me when tradesmen come to your house to give you a quote for a job is when, pretending to be friendly, they ask you what you do for a living. They think you don’t realize they want to know if you have a well-paid job so that they can try and charge you more. The last one who asked me what I did, I told him “As little as possible.” Should have seen his face. And he didn’t get the job.

  6. Most electrician firms are also cunts… Couple of weeks ago our shower knackered: the on/off switch broke…. My old lady calls up various sparks firms and before she even mentioned the shower, she got a load of shite about a ‘one hundred pounds call-out fee…’
    and being a ‘set (ie: ridiculous) fee by the hour…’ I said fuck that and we found one in Bury: no call-out bullshit, nice bloke and the job only cost 48 quid and took half an hour…. There are decent and honest working men still out there, but a needle in a haystack comes to mind…

  7. The shitbag plumber cunt who installed our bathroom didn’t like any of his shonky work brought into question. “I’ve been installing bathrooms for twenty years.” said the cunt. “I’ve been singing for twenty five, doesn’t mean that I’m any good at it!”, was my reply. I ended up telling him to get of my property, the prick. Now, I’m stuck with a leaky shower, and the company he was contracted to has folded. So much for a ten year guarantee. Another plumber, burned a new carpet installing a radiator, then said it wasn’t his fault. What a useless blind cunt he was!
    I always treat anybody doing work on my house well, make sure there is tea and coffee, cake and biscuits on hand, in the vain hope that the cunts will do what you pay them large sums of hard earned cash to do, which is a half decent job. I must look a right mug! And don’t even start me off on roofers, the cunts…..

  8. Oh and don’t fall for that “Check a Cunt!” dot com bollocks either. Just another click-add site that tells you fuck all more than what you get from the yellow pages, and most of the fucking reviews are from friends and family anyway.

    The genuine ones are the negative ones which are them immediately followed by a quick fire round of “5 Stars” to force the neg comment off the main page and reboost the overall rating.

    I was looking for a chippy to give a quote on some fitted wardrobes and one of the reviews on there was hilarious. It was a few years back but it started: “After treading dog excrement into our new white carpet…” you can probably still find it online somewhere, but again, the next day when I went to show my mate (forra laugh) that comment was two pages away with a rake of “glowers” superseding it. Fuck me, that bloke must work 72hrs a day to get that amount of work in! Cunt!

    • Bang-on, all those review, referral and switching sites are just fucking re-sellers taking their 10% commission
      uswitch, moneysupermarket, checkatrade, icelolly, trustedreviews, trustpilot, and the other million websites.

      fucking cunts the lot of them

  9. Anyone remember the Watchdog from years ago when they stitched up a poor cunt of a TV/VCR repairman by nobbling a Philips video recorder? Basically they unclipped one side of the cassette lift then went all shocked and self righteous when he quoted about 70 Quid to put it right.
    What the BBC cunts didn’t mention is that when, on the old Philips videos, you had any tape loading fault the only reliable cure was to fit an expensive rebuild kit that required the completed dismantling of the deck mechanism plus a full re-alignment of the tape transport guides etc, otherwise there was a good chance that the repair would “bounce” amidst much whingeing from a customer waving his mangled favourite tape (porn usually).
    A good couple of hours tricky work and not many engineers liked taking the Philips machines on (I must have rebuilt at least a hundred of them) as they were fiddly compered to, say, a Japanese machine and Watchdog stitched the poor repairman cunt up good and proper, ending the episode with the statement “It’s best to avoid small repair businesses and use only your Main Dealer”.
    I nearly kicked the TV screen in and to this day despise the sight of Ann Robinson (and that Stapleton cunt). Talk about Auntie Beeb sticking the boot into the little guy on behalf of larger businesses.
    Thank fuck I switched to fixing motorbikes after 20 odd years of TV repair…

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