Richard Bellend aka Branson is a smug cunt!
And he expects people to go up in a spaceship that he built, after his balloon burst and his yacht sank. He could call it the “Explosive Decompression Tour” or maybe “The Virgin Death Mincer”.
Nominated by: Titslapper & Mr Bastard
Always thought there was something of the Bond Villain about the beardy twat.
“First, there was the dream…..”
Except he’s shit at it.
0
Dudley Moore said it best on the Derek and Clive video – “Richard, you’re a cunt.”
0
I nominate Job Hunting for a damn good cunting.
I am between jobs right now and am experiencing the usual fuck-witted bullshit I normally get from so-called IT recruiters. However, this time around they seem to have taken it to a whole new level of evil bastard.
Let’s just take it as red that I’m a very skilled, knowledgeable and experienced IT professional. I have a degree in Computer Science, my IT certifications are up-to-date and I have a breadth and depth of consulting experience few in my industry have. With so many IT jobs available, you’d think it would be a piece of piss for someone like me to snag a top job just by thinking about it. Think again!
I apply directly to hiring companies. I get ignored.
I apply for jobs listed by fuck-wit IT recruiters. I get ignored.
I contact fuck-wit IT recruiters who list jobs similar to ones I’m looking for and introduce myself as a potential job candidate. I get ignored.
WTF?
These people are supposed to be recruiters FFS. Considering they’re likely to get somewhere between $20K and $40K for ‘helping’ place me in a full time position (based upon what my first year’s salary would likely be), it seems it’s too much bother to actually pick up the fucking ‘phone or reply to an email. Even contract consulting work would generate anywhere between $25 to $50 per hour FOR THEM for every hour I work and it’s still too much trouble to follow up with me. Yeah, that’s their margin for doing FUCK ALL!!! A finder’s fee, fair enough. But hourly income for them based upon my expertise, dedication and work ethic? Insane, but that’s how it works. And yet it’s still too much trouble to actually follow up with me. IT recruiting must be the easiest job in the world. Get paid to do virtually fuck all.
It gets worse. These fuck-wits, just to add insult to injury, will contact me about completely unrelated and irrelevant jobs. Hey dickface, you’ve seen my profile online and you’ve downloaded a copy of my CV, so you know what I do and where I am located. So why on god’s fucking green earth would I want to hear about some dip-shitted Java Programmer job 1,500 miles and 5 states away? You utter cunt!
It gets worse. These fuck-wits email you irrelevant job openings, then say if you’re not interested to pass it on to people in your network or suggest other people who may be interested. Excuse me, did I just have a stroke and wake up in the recruiting business? Recruiting is YOUR job, not MINE!! When a database server crashes and corrupts some production systems at 3AM, do I call you for help? Do I fuck!
It gets worse. So many alleged IT recruiters these days are ‘two men and a dog’ operations, populated by our Indian friends. Some of these people have no business crawling out of the ghetto. They do not understand the IT industry, have no clue what the acronyms mean and can barely string an intelligible sentence together. All they do is word match between the dog shit job descriptions provided by their clients and people’s CVs. These people are the gatekeepers of the jobs and yet are utterly clueless. It just beggars belief this situation exists.
In the good old days, companies had Personnel Departments and would handle communications with job candidates. Somewhere along the line that disappeared, only to be replaced by HR Departments who don’t give a fuck. They can’t be bothered to handle job applicants, so they farm it out to dip-shit IT recruiters who are wholly unfit to do the job for them.
The worst part is, there is almost nothing you can do about it. Your ability to hit back for being abused, ignored or messed around is very limited. Job hunting sucks and HR Departments and IT recruiters are cunts.
0
Have you tried LinkedIn?
0
Odin: Indeed I have my friend. My profile is mega and awesome in every way. 🙂 I’ve been doing all the right things too. Making contacts, sending connection requests to recruiters, updating things so my profile shows activity, recommending people, liking posts, commenting on stuff, you name it.
CV has been revamped and has had positive feedback, so I’m confident that’s A-OK.
It’s just IT recruiters. Not all of them I might add, but the vast majority for sure. It feels like a massive conspiracy against me. I know that sounds paranoid, but day-after-day, week-after-week I get absolutely nowhere. I just don’t understand it. UK recruiters back in the day were so much easier to get along with. I hope that hasn’t changed in the years I’ve been away.
0
Well, I was living abroad for about ten years, came back, I’m getting a few interviews now for shite jobs, but the level of “intelligence” shown by recruitment staff is depressingly low… As a humanoid, I fear that I come about 17 points behind paperclips in the desirability list. So, Job Hunting indeed deserves a damn good cunting. At least that KardashiCunt Duncan-Smith has gone, even if his replacement is allegedly an equally pox-ridden toxic cunt… Very good luck to you in your search, IY!
0
Hi HBH – May I ask what prompted you to return to Blighty? I wrestle with going back home from time to time. America has some amazing positives, but when things seemed stacked against you like they do for me just now, I long to be back with my own kind and culture.
Thanks for the good wishes. Cheers – I.Y.
0
Hi IY !
Well, my return to Blighty was done on several levels – firstly, I had a feeling that one way or another the EU solids were going to hit the rotor blades, and jc only knows where I’d have been left if I were still in Vienna. In the shit is fairly certain… Also, after ten years abroad, I was missing GB, even the politics (might show just how fucked-up I am!). Also, the first eight years abroad, in Switzerland… BEAUTIFUL country, bang in the middle of so many countries, yet in their own way VERY isolated and, it has to be said, somewhat racist. One Swiss person’s website said “We even have Italian food here!!” Well I never! My (ex-) wife and I could have got in our little Fiat and chugged round to Italy in about hour and a half to get pasta and pizza at realistic prices… Switzerland’s also almost run by the Portuguese (they do all the shite jobs the locals won’t touch), but hardly a restaurant serving their food in sight…a fairly usual sort of set-up for immigrant workers. Being broad-minded and living abroad, as you and I have done, we get ALL the experiences, good and bad… Hope to go and do a brief job in NY state when my business is up and running again, but not holding my breath. Welsh Assembly elections later today (I’m sort of Anglo-Scot, with a streak of Rhinelander from an 1806 immigrant, not Welsh), so interesting ‘cos I’ve never had this devolved parliament set-up before as a voter. The politicians will get in anyway, they always do…the CUNTS!!
0
This means nothing to me – ahhhh Vienna. 🙂
Seriously though, thanks for sharing. Interesting to learn a little more about the inner workings of Europe. You’re so right about getting ALL the experiences when living abroad. Someone much wiser than I once told me that when you’ve lived outside the country where you were born and raised, you’ll never be satisfied with where you are because you’ll always have something to compare it with. I’ve found that to be very true.
I also tend to feel I’ve left it too late to return to the UK. The cost of living over here in Yankland is significantly lower than the UK, but the standard of living is considerable higher. I simply could not afford the equivalent house I have now in the South East. I like paying about 1.40 GPB for a GALLON of petrol (I refuse to call it “gas”) and having to use dirty, expensive and crap public transport when I’m used to driving everywhere would be the end of me. I’ve worked in London and remember how hideous the commute was back in 2000. Can’t imagine how much worse it is now. Or how much more expensive. Anyhow, there are days when it’s depressing being surrounded by American accents all day. Maybe I’m just a bit homesick at the mo. I haven’t been for a really long time so perhaps I’m due.
Oh well, back to the job hunting. Thanks again and best of British with your business. Cheers – I.Y.
0
Very good luck to you too, IY. Know what you mean about cost of living in SE – I was born on Surrey / London border, NO WAY could I afford to live there now… prices just a v v sick joke.
So many people have diddly squit re home comforts, when I can move on from my digs and restart the business (just a little sideline in armaments, nuclear missiles, red nylon bras (cf Gideon Osborne), “Boris the Buttplug” sex-toys &c. !!), I’ll be heading to either Scotland or Lincolnshire, think I’ll actually be able to…roll of drums…BUY a small place, so long as I’ve got a roof over my head, my own kitchen and bathroom… Anyhow, Nil carborundum bastardi, as they say in the Vatican!!
Your observation about never being satisfied because of the comparisons are very true… I just feel like a round plug in a square hole…or a square plug in a round hole, I guess you know what I mean!
0
Despite the recent flurry of high profile passings, the dead pool has not seen many ‘sucessess’. However there is this http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/little-richard-denies-near-death-rumors-im-still-singing-20160503
0
There have been so many surprise deaths though bowie died from cancer, prince overdose,possibly aids?, alan rickman who saw those cunts dying. I can’t believe little richard is still alive the old punter is still kicking… unbelievable.
Speaking of prince he stole alot of his music and stage performance from little richard it clearly shows in his flamboyant mannerisms.
Also little richard apparently liked watching other people have sex without their knowledge he got a rush from it the sick tosser. Apparently Lemmy from motorhead really liked little richard who’da thunk it?.
0
“I long to be back with my own kind and culture.” …..
Fuck me, good luck with that bit mate, you’ll find that your own kind and culture have nearly vanished, least they have in the Midlands !
I’m in IT and gave up my job at the start of the year, basically because the company I worked for had a bunch of cunts running the show and since a takeover had happened a year previous, most people had left the sinking ship. Anyway, studied for a couple of Project Management exams, got those under my belt, and then just chose the two least fucking useless Recruitment Agencies I could find, and stuck with them, ignoring the other fuckwits who wrote to me on a daily basis, offering me to apply for jobs, like yourself, that were either fucking 100’s of miles away, wanted experience I obviously didn’t have, or for roles that were for a school-leaver. Anyway, after about two months, finally got one. Unfortunately, they told me lots of great things at interview, and the stuff they I assured me I wouldn’t be doing….I am. So, I’m going to have to start looking again.
However, it does sound like you’ve got it tough over there? Perhaps coming back would be an idea, if you can find somewhere to squeeze in…..
0
Hey Sausage: My god, you have a really good point there. With the amount of immigration that’s happened over the last 15 years or so, I wonder what day-to-day must be like in the UK now for actual British people. On a visit back home a couple of years ago, I saw and over heard several foreigners in a sleepy, out-of-the-way town in Sussex. Trust me, they weren’t tourists. If they’re infecting the UK in rural and semi-rural communities, what must the big towns and cities be like now?
I went to college in Leicester in the ’80s. A student friend of mine lived in a rented house in an ‘ethnic’ part of the city. I went over there one time to see him and as I walked further away from the city centre, things changed. The number of white faces on the street diminished in number, the shop signs changed to that weirdo squiggle writing and then the stench hit me. Before I knew it, it was like being in some high street in Calcutta. It was really eerie.
Change is inevitable, but not all of it is good and we don’t have to like it. I think you’re right though, the UK I’d go back to now is a very different UK to the one I left more than a decade and a half ago. And that’s a cunt!
0
Worked as a contractor for 20 years in IT and never had a single job in all that time where the job spec matched what needed doing. Best example : We need a systems analyst – ended up as the test manager!
0