Just sat here looking out the window at a fucking bunch of off white bastards parked outside the kitchen window with their five children. They just fucked off and now there is a half dozen piles of assorted shit strewn in the road – chocolate & ice cream wrappers, bits of paper, general shite.
What the fuck is with these people? My daughter taught my grandchildren to pick up their litter. They are taught to give it to me rather than throw it in the street. Why do these cunts come to our country because it’s better than the third world shit hole they came from and then try and convert our country into the dump they tried so hard to get away from?
And this shit will never be swept up because the cunt Osbourne keeps cutting services and you can’t sweep up past the illegally parked cars they don’t bother to nick!!!
If a four year can understand these standards, why the fuck can’t these cunts???
And the EU wants us to let more of these fuckers in. FFS!
Vote to leave!!!!!
Nominated by: Mrs D
Ah my dear Mrs D, a pleasure indeed and may I say how we old lags and lifers do welcome you to our internet soiree. Your use orf the Queen’s English is both enlightening and salutary to us humble sinners struggling alas with the lower vernacular. No doubt your inestimable partner in life is always ready at hand to assist when you have the need to conjugate a verb or two. Your fragrant conversation must prove such a delightful example and a ready corrective for your dearly beloved orfspring. Well done madam.
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Thank you Sir Simply for subjecting us proles to your heavy, florid, Victorian tones. I suspect you had a couple of bracing snifters before putting ‘pen to paper’. Tis a shear delight to see such elegant prose. I am off to emulate your good form by quaffing a hog’s head of vermouth. Surely I will be suitably fortified to emulate your discerning and sure footed penmanship.
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What the fuck does that mean?
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Did you read it? Actually to be honest its a muddled rant she calls the litterers white bastards but says “Why do these cunts come to our country because it’s better than the third world shit hole they came from and then try and convert our country into the dump they tried so hard to get away from?” Why would she call muzzies white bastards? the rest makes sense Mrs D was probably drunk when she wrote this rant I dunno
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It does say “of off white bastards”, I missed the “of” first couple of times
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Oh yeah you’re right well I’m a silly cunt then I’m also no better because I was high when I read it lol. Still going strong on my tobacco withdrawal though. 2 months 1 week cold turkey too! the makers of nicorette can fuck off with that expensive piss of a product never bought into it
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“off white” not “white”
It wasn’t a typo
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I think it means hello.
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I applaud Mrs Ds articulate breakdown of the mis-en-scene outside her kitchen window. I cannot stand litterbugs and I run a cleaning company. Well done you, Mrs D.
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Gideon is indeed a horrific wankstain, and I have an idea for how he could help clean up the country. Down on all fours, on wheels, with a heavy iron bar pushing his snout to the pavement. He can gobble up all the shite (it seems he’s a good gobbler, our Gideon) and if his performance isn’t up to par, a few whacks across the arse with a cricket bat studded with six-inch nails.
Also, the behaviour of the average four-year old is vastly superior to what we see in parliament
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Welcome to the club Mrs D.
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Manchester, Aston Rd junction with Grey Mare Lane: a length in front filtering left is a pikey transit -driveways tarmaced….etc call 077…….., yep you got him. Out of said pikey window flights a McWankstain paper cup; I hadn’t time to think: “ya cheeky bastard” when up my inside trots a bloke in blue slacks, white shirt and tie, he scooped up said cup and with some force returned it to it’s rightful owner. The Perpetually Offended pikey driver (I hesitate to claim van ownership for him) was out inna flash whereupon the aforementioned dapper chap donned his cap complete with black and white chequerboard trimming and reapplied his epaulettes. Classic.
Coppers with a sense of humour: NOT CUNTS!
Pikies: CUNTS!
Litterers: CUNTS!
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Even here in the heart of Lincolnshire, far from the maddening crowd (Hardy) our verges and hedge bottoms on even the smallest of roads are speckled with everything from used nappies, mcwank containers, bottles , cans, parts of large animals, dead badgers, dead rabbits, syringes and so on. I am lucky to be able to spend time staggering around the highways and byways with camera and slingshot and the tide of shite increases year on year, the only decrease is the number of fields going up in smoke due to discarded fag ends though due to the number of eu migrants in the area all of whom seem to smoke this trend is due for reversal. Why do these cunts think that its OK to throw their waste onto my sacred verges. What is worse is that some of the locals have begun to copy these wankers. I mean us country people always have been good at the old fly tipping game, but nappy bags out the car window was classed as not right.
So I have instigated a campaign for want of a better word, any local observed discarding trash from vehicle gets bag of dogshite through letterbox in the early hours. Parked cars up farm tracks etc the occupants of which are discarding shit come under sustained weird behaviour till they fuck off or fight. I feel I am making a contribution to the betterment of society whilst making use of all the esoteric bollocks I had to learn in my previous life.
Take meds and off to the woods.
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A razzamataz,
we’re doing the Daz,
Keep Lincolnshire white
on a Saturday night! (loosely attr. to Spine Millington)
I aspire to live in the fine town of Louth, so good on yer Sir for keeping the county clean!!
but beware of rabbits, they have some dodgy habits.. (hence the syringes)
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