Mobile phones (7)


We all know that mobile phones are cunts and one of the greatest marketing con tricks in a very long history of marketing con tricks.

However, did it ever occur to you to check just how much electricity a latest gen smart phone uses? Well, fear not cunters as I have done just that. Each phone uses 4.9 kWh per year to keep fully charged, which on its own is fuck all. However, there are 1.91 billion of the fuckers out there consuming a global 9.35 billion kWh annually. That is the power consumption of 2.67 million global average homes!

Ban the fucking things this instant!!

Yes, I am a cuntโ€ฆโ€ฆ.

Nominated by: Fat Rich

26 thoughts on “Mobile phones (7)

  1. I agree ban the fuckers, it would solve more problems like People no longer talking to and educating their children, everyone who used one shouting in the street because they think the person they SOOO desperately have to talk to can’t hear them (they can hear you in timbucktoo you cunt STOP shouting), the number of people walking around looking like a zombie ate their brain as they stuff their face into facefuck and Twatter because they can’t go 5 mins without seeing what their cyber friends had for breakfast. and sitting on the bus whilst some cunt on the bus discusses the fellatio they gave and received in some drunken bunk up last night at the top of their voices. And finally all that pap pop music blaring out wherever you go even though 99% of the population seem to have growths coming out of their ears. Whatever happened to peace and quiet. And do not get me started on ring tones AAAARGHHHH

    • Yep, and how many times have you seen a bunch of braindead fucktards sat round the bar all busy doing whatever they’re fucking doing on their mobile cunting phones. I swear some days you can hear a fuckin pin drop theres such a lack of conversation.
      Its so bad sometimes I’d be better off going home and talking to the wife!!!

      • Lol yes many pubs could do away with big screen and Sky as all the patrons seem to be on their own devices in their own little world. OH i am not sure talking to the wife is a good idea, she may get ideas! ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Good cunting FR.

    I think the problem is they are no longer a tool, but a crutch for those with fragile egos, a distraction for the terminally moronic, but most of all: an itch that can’t scratched to every right thinking Cunter.

    They are Cunts.

  3. People that use phones in the street whilst walking ,shouting or taking selfies are cunts.
    As with all cunts they should stopped brutally

  4. An old mate of mine who is a black cab driver said that hardly anyone talks to him in his cab these days… It’s either some cunt on a mobile phone talking shit to the person they are going to meet, or some tosser playing some shite on an iPhone… Also anyone who is being served at a shop counter and is talking on their mobile phone at the same time is a pig ignorant cunt… And anyone who takes selfies is a narcissistic bellend… Anyone who owns a selfie stick should have it shoved up their arse…

    • Couldn’t agree more… so much mobile phone use is, as you say, narcissistic, self-adoring, rude and fucking dangerous – the worst are texters who wander along, heads down, walking into everybody. The best thing is their gobs are usually hanging so far open you could fling a dog turd at their tonsils. These people piss me orf so much, especially when they’re hipsters as well…could always set fire to their beards etc. Also, tourists taking fuckwit photos with the things…OMG, awesome. like, they’ve got a branch of Burberry / Lewis Vweeeton / Jamie Oliver’s cunty restaurant here too… How cynical of me…travel really broadens the mind (and, as you say, a selfie stick might broaden the anal passage)

  5. The cunts who promote all this malignant narcissism as some sort of essential fucking prerequisite for being human should all be put up against a wall. Yep, they are crutches as King Cnut remarked, more than they are tools. It’s fucking embarrassing when I’m riding my bike and I’ve got all these pallid acquiescent cunts walking with their heads buried in these silly little devices. It’s a form of masturbation, and as such, should be done in private, and if it ain’t then these cunts should be fined for indecent exposure… !

  6. I used to work in R&D for that cunting tax avoiding cum Vodafone.
    Mobiles, aka smart phones are fucking lethal.
    I saw many reports and studies that were subdued about the real risks.
    Just wait another 20 years, brain tumours will sky-rocket, also testicular cancer is already on the increase, due to men storing them in their trousers pockets.
    All the so-called independent studies that claim they are safe are funded by the mobile companies.
    And lets not even start on the true reason for mobiles, a stepping stone to microchipped people.
    It’s coming, not for another 20 years, but it’s coming!

    • โ€‹
      Don’t forget beardy bollocks cunt richard branson, who complained about mobile phones had killed his friend, and that he had a brain tumour the size of an orange because he used his huge brick mobile phone all the time. Then the cunt went and set up a mobile phone business.

  7. Oh, and I do NOT even own one, never have and never will.
    If you wanna get hold of Boaby, call my landline and if I can be asred I may get back to you.

  8. I bought 300 mobile phones to sell. The shit that calls itself humanity would not buy them because they are not the latest thing. The 299 cunts are in the loft laughing at me (I burned one for spite).

    • Isis’ll take ’em off your hands; they make great detonators for IEDs: hand full of caps and diodes for a voltage doubler, couple of nPns and a resistor for a driver, whip the speaker out bish bash bopp and Mohamed’s now mincemeat; or so I’ve heard, never having done anything similar myself. This channel is secure, isn’t it?

      • WTF!

        So you could be like in Bournemouth and phone up Tony Blair, when he has his phone up his arse, and blow his cock and balls off (right up David Cameron’s bum hole).

      • No. Not quite; you’ll also be needing some mercury with sides and a whole bunch of jumpy nitrogen atoms with tenuous multiple bonds to get the show on the road. School boy science stuff.

  9. Does anyone else remember the good old days when there was a pen and notebook next to the phone? If you were out, someone would take a message. If you didn’t want to be disturbed, you left the phone off the hook.

    If you were out and there was nobody there to take a message, people would could call back later.

    Now every cunt thinks you have to be immediately available 24/7.

    • Brilliant. Is it also just a coincidence that the world was built and markets boomed before the mobile phone and crashed and burned after the cunt was invented?

    • I remember those phone notepads… The faux leather ones with the 3D telephone dial on the front, and when you gave the middle of the dial a press the book flipped open… It was also better when the GPO did the phones and we had the classic red phone boxes… Then came British Telecom and those shite perspex boxes… Also, has anyone else noticed now that no phone box telephones work any more… Someone should tell those BT cunts that not everyone owns (or likes) mobile phones, and that it’s their duty to maintain public call boxes…

    • Ha ha, so true!
      My Nan, RIP, was frugal old cunt, her telephone was in the hallway, with a notepad & pen by it too!
      It was in the hallway specifically because she didnt have central heating back then and so talking on the phone for too long would result in contracting hypothermia!
      That’s how you keep the bills down!
      It was a proper old school pulse phone with a rotary dial, took about 2 minutes to dial a non local number and calling her sister in law in Canada took about 15 minutes to dial.
      None of that speed dial shite ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. They really are a cunt, allowing vapid cunts to blather on all the fucking time. And as for those CUNTS queuing overnight for the latest expensive piece of shite which will be obsolete in a month’s time…

  11. My missus is never off the bloody thing – she was checking facebook at 0500! What the fuck could have possibly happened since midnight, when she last checked it?!

    I agree that eventually they won’t be devices that we carry about, they will just be implanted in our eyeballs or something and everybody will wander about like dead-eyed zombies (well even more so than now) mumbling to themsleves. It’s big business and there will never be a shortage of muggles waiting to pay up for it.

    Pretty sure I used to be able to organise a piss-up without one…

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