Internet Porn

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Internet Porn deserves a damn cunting, I am old enough to remember the days when finding Porn on the Internet took all evening, 3 hours spent finding and downloading a video for free which looked half wank-worthy.

Even just browsing pictures took forever, waiting for the picture to display pixel by pixel!
Fast forward to today, fucking porn everywhere, petabytes of it in every deranged form you can imagine.

There’s a niche for everyone:

Looking for hairy Latina girls in glasses being bummed by Mexican immigrants? – You got it! sign-up today

Enjoy watching a woman crap honey out of her arse whilst dressed as Lois from Family Guy? – You got it! sign-up today

Can you only get off to lesbians masturbating for money whilst complaining about womens rights? – You got it! sign-up today

Fucking Internet Porn, it all blends in to one sea of shit and thus, deserves a cunting

Nominated by : Boaby

47 thoughts on “Internet Porn”

  1. It still takes all evening to find something that makes your dick stand up. The quality of most porn these days is abysmal. All these women look the same with their dyed hair, tons of make-up, false tits, tattoos, piercings etc. Most of them look bored and half of them seem to be trying hard to get their feet into the picture, as though they’re convinced that’s what men want to see. And if you google Sucking Cocks or something like that, half the pictures are gay.
    I remember Ginger Lynn in her early twenties. Ah, those were the days.

    • There is a good standing joke on Ted 2, what ever you google always comes up with “did you mean black cocks”

  2. The first e-porn I ever saw was a little clip called head42. I think this was about 1988 ish. It was in 16 colour CGA standard and was (I think but I might be wrong) basically an animated GIF which looped after about 3 seconds. I was blown away, at last computers had a purpose!

    I heard, and again this might be shite, that the reason VHS won over Betamax was that Sony refused to licence porn on Betamax. Sex sells, always has and always will.

  4. I was trying to get the specs on the highrider 120 built by nifty lift. Very work related I googled HR120 and some very non powered access pictures came up.

  5. Apropos of fuck all can I nominate Sue Perkins for a cunting? I’ve just sat through her usual piss-poor appearance on a panel show. How does this cunt get on the BBC? I mean all she is is gay, Cambridge educated and female. She’s not funny, but what comedian needs that attribute these days?

  7. Mark Thatcher
    Looking in the list of cunts I’m surprised this fucking cunt has never previously been cunted. This vile excuse for a piece of dogshit never gave a fuck about anyone else but his pathetic, useless self. It says something when his own mother sent him packing from the UK. Can’t say I blame the old slag really, he must have been one massive disappointment, greedy little money grabbing scumbag trading on mummies name. The best part of this cunt slid down his mums leg while Denis was wiping any trace of him from his cock.
    Anyway, seems the ugly little cunt may now facing be a massive fine and possibly (if there’s any justice in this world) a spell in jail. You may remember his alleged involvement in an attempted coup in Equatorial Guinea which went wrong and his then friend Simon Mann ended up doing a stretch in jail out there. This cunt then denied anything to do with it and worse still disowned his mate and left him to languish in some festering African prison. Well now sonny boy is being taken to court by the ruler of Equatorial Guinea Teodoro Obiang who it seems is determined to get to the bottom of the whole fiasco. The best bit is Simon Mann is the star witness for Obiang who freed him from jail after just 18 months.
    I hope the cunt gets a massive fine AND a big fuck off jail sentence and gets bummed dry on a daily basis by the entire population of the inmates until his ringpeice resembles the Japanese flag……fucking CUNT !!!

    • You are correct. It is a travesty and I shall see about rectifiying this horrendous omission from the Grand Hall of Cunts immediately…

  8. Internet porn is getting really really fucking sick :fart porn,piss and shit porn(WTF?), sex with animals and 20 guys vs 1 girl gangbang. Just really evil sick shite, I remember getting off on lingerie mags and simple nude mags/pinups/posters now it’s total depravity nowadays it couldn’t get any sicker.

    • Me too, TS… Nicking copies of Men Only and Mayfair from my uncle Terry’s garage… That’s how I discovered the aforementioned Miss Chambers… Now it’s some skank drinking a gallon of spunk out of a glass and other depraved shite (so I’ve heard)….. And as for anything involving ‘water sports’ as Alan Partridge said on the subject: Disgusting… Absolutely disgusting…

  9. Thing is: if you got rid of web porn there’d only be two sites left:

    1. Fluffy cats r’us.com.
    2. Petition. We want or porn back.

    My little sis’s Persian cat died so I googled Persian kittens, the folly of old age.

  10. How about cunting Benedict Cumberpatch for his lecturing the UK and all politicians to open the doors to more “refugees?”

    • Ben-A-Dick Cum-Stained-Snatch is a cunt, a typical pseudo socialist who has made money, but now bleats on about equality – meh!
      Include Russell Brand, Charlotte Church and any other cunt who made loads of money and then ‘spoken up’ for the plebs in that clique when they have ‘fallen of the radar’
      CUNTS

  11. And another thing, why do they all have to have shaved fannies? It looks gruesome. Put some hair round it, for fuck’s sake.

  12. Celebrity Fragrances need to be cunted….

    TIs the season to senselessly spend loads of cash on cunts you can’t stand, so all these lemming-like mongs go out and buy celebrity fragrances…. Basically cheap and nasty bog water perfume that thick cunts pay well over the odds for, because it has some greedy want more money celebrity cunt’s name and ugly mug on it… They all do it: Beckham (both of the cunts!), Ladyboy Ga Ga, Katy Perry, Britney Spears (I thought she was dead!), Beyonce and probably that Kardashian slag too… Even that fat obnoxious warthog, Jade Goody had a perfume (Christ knows what it smelled like!)…. Anyone who buys a celebrity perfume is a cunt, and any bloke who ever uses Beckham or One Direction aftershave is a poofter….

    • Yes Norman another seasons reason to be cuntishly grumpy. Advertising agencies must live in a different world to regular folk. Who’s the skinny tart that gets naked and there’s a leopard, or some such, in the room? What the fuck has that to do with odour suppressants. Now Hai Karate and Valerie Leon* could be the exception to this Cunting. Is there such a thing as ‘the nuclear button option’ for xmas, a sort of mega scatter gun Cunting? Mr Dio refused to allow Santa in the dead pool because he doesn’t exist, Pepsi™ would beg to differ on that one. How about a Cunters crowd sourced advert:

      SANTA DOES NOT EXIST YOU LITTLE PRICKS!©

      Scans to: Chestnuts roasting……….etc.

      Don’t get me wrong. I shall be entering into the xmas spirit with my 16 yo Jura and a cheeky 12yo Edradour Burgundy cask finished; then, Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy will all exist in my happy little world.

      ™ Pepsi Cola Industries.
      © Mr. Dioclese.
      * For Boaby.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5ENX7HjD10

    • Even that fat obnoxious warthog, Jade Goody had a perfume (Christ knows what it smelled like!)

      I heard it smelled of cervical cancer which is quite ironic…

  13. Kitten Natividad was a Playbirds favourite of mine. She had huge norks and didn’t mind a lezzer scene.
    Started my obsession with the female form in the time honoured fashion of finding a porn stash behind a bush in an alleyway. Boy did that give a thrill. Later in life I gave something back by depositing a carrier bag full of jazz mags where some lucky lad would find them whilst ferreting around in the undergrowth. And so the cycle of life continues…

  14. I don’t think it’s just misplaced nostalgia. Whilst I’m very grateful to the internet for providing me with porn on tap, I feel that the youth of today are missing out on many significant rites of passage – porn in the bushes / park, elder brother’s hard core mag being brought into school and passed round to mass astonishment, plucking up the courage to buy your first top shelf mag. Also, quite agree re shaved business. A bit of a trim – fine. Insistence on hairlessness all the time = Yewtree.

    • Too right a pile of jazzmags dumped in the hedges and as a kid and prying the paper apart looking for the best bits
      Fiesta and razzle readers wives lol
      june from norwich ,debbie from bristol and april from wolverhampton and one for the ladies

  15. Hairy Beaver FTW.
    There is nothing hotter than a dirty, hairy, stinky minge.
    Fuck all this clean-shaven, bald, landing-strip bollocks.

      • Cunnalingus causes cancer ,HPV. Seriously just fuck it women can’t really cum just squirt/piss anyway and 90% of women have fake orgasms 10% might have a g-spot but it’s doubtful.

      • An over 50 unshaved rabbit warren needs tenderness and has been shagged uphill down dale and you try with your best(with a liver sausage) only to be disapointed
        MAKE ME WET you are not tender enough START COUGHING I say and i get the full monty .
        this why old peoples homes stink of piss

  17. As you know I am a firm advocate of the bushy beaver to the extent I think all this bald pussy malarkey should be raised in Parliament. Shaven havens are the domain of paedos. Its fucking obvious.

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