FHM Magazine

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I see that paragon of reading matter, FHM magazine, is to close…

Truth is it was always crap, but 20 years ago they did have a better class of celebrity/bird in it (only issue I remember purchasing was the one with The X-Files bird on the cover, 1995 or 96)…

Fast forward to 2015 and all they can get is scrag-ends from Hollyoaks, reality TV trash and slappers who have shagged Wayne Rooney (he must have paid them a fucking lot!)… Let’s face it: any magazine that proclaims a poundland slag like Tulisa as the world’s sexiest woman has dug its own grave…

Good riddance to the cunts…

Nominated by: Norman

36 thoughts on “FHM Magazine”

  1. A damn fine cunting Sir,
    these fucking ‘lads mags’ are so 1996, they are as bad as the phone-line wank TV channels on TV after midnight, why the fuck would anyone spend £1.50 a minute to talk to a tattooed, breast-enlarged cunt in her underwear?
    I would just dial a random number and hope I got lucky 🙂
    And it is 2015, you only have to type “P” in to Google and it already knows you are looking for PORN (as evidenced by auto-complete)
    I am old enough to remember when seeing a wank-mag was a magical event, someone would steal thier Dads and bring it to school and it would be passed around, same with VHS bootleg porn videos.
    Kids these days have it too easy, too much porn and in every conceivable fetish.
    And mags like FHM are a con anyway, £4 for a few pictures of sluts and 6000 adverts!

  3. Sorry off-topic, but I’d really like to nominate sick web troll Chris Spivey for his fourth cunting for posting the latest unbelievably stupid and nasty entry about last Friday’s Paris terrorist attacks on his deranged website:

    http://chrisspivey.org/qui-qui-poo-poo/

    The judge let the guy off with not even so much as a slap on the wrist in August for trolling and harassing Lee Rigby’s family, similarly claiming that his brutal murder was a hoax. Yeah, I can see Mister Spivey really learnt his lesson there, didn’t he? Honestly, what does a cyber bully have to do before getting locked up these days!

    • Well done… There can never be enough cuntings fof that odious creature, Spivey… He is a bit of a favourite among us here (ie: we hate the bastard!)…

      • Thanks Norman. Although I’m not a fan of the Daily Mail, I decided to use their online ‘have you got a story?’ feedback form and actually sent them a link to Spivey’s latest sick post as a follow-up to show how predictably ineffective the judge’s meek caution that concluded his August trial was. In his latest offering of dreck, Spivey has even included a photo of the British victim’s girlfriend Polina Buckley on there, dismissing her as a ‘crisis actor’ and pouring scorn on what he calls her “dry” tears. I saw her on the news the other day and it was clear she was absolutely heartbroken. Are trolls like Spivey even allowed to do this? What if some of the victims and their families come across his website with the inane mocking captions he uses to intrude upon their grief?

      • The fucking idiot thrives on trying to be controversial to get a reaction. His bog, erm I mean blog, no i’ll stick with bog actually is much like some of his tattooing, extremely poor no matter how much effort he put in.

        Don’t wind yourself up too much, just wait for the day karma kicks in and he’s hacked to death by a terrorist and his death is put down to a hoax and is never investigated.

      • I’ve listed all the useful tabloid newsdesk email addresses below.

        I suggest sending them all an email. Don’t forget to include the link to Spivey’s Paris crap:

        http://chrisspivey.org/qui-qui-poo-poo/

        Refer to Spivey as the internet troll who narrowly escaped jail earlier this year for harrassing the family of Lee Rigby (whose murder, Spivey claimed, was a hoax). Despite warnings from the judge, Spivey seems to be up to his old tricks:

        news@dailymail.co.uk

        talkback@the-sun.co.uk

        exclusive@the-sun.co.uk

        mirrornews@mirror.co.uk

        scoops@sundaymirror.co.uk

        feedback@people.co.uk.

      • Could you imagine his followers reactions if that happened?
        Chris Spivey gets decapitated on a viral video by someone from ISIS,
        But as ‘they all know’, it must have been crisis actors.
        It would blow their IQ of 17 minds

      • fucking sure he is, some cunt that man and a repulsive piece of attentioning seeking shit at that

  4. Lads used to buy it 20 or so years ago because it featured the ‘names’ and stars of the time (Liz Hurley, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Aniston etc)…. Now FHM can’t attract the 2015 equivialent (Scarlett Johansson, Christina Hendricks etc), so they go downmarket and feature slappers like Jorgie Porter (currently on ‘I’m A Cunt! Get Me Out Of Here!’) and Tulisa Cuntostavlos, and any crap like that is going to show a decline in sales… I agree that lads mags were of their time (with Britpop and all that bollocks!), and now (certainly in Britain) the ‘famous for fuck all celebrity’ and cheap slapper is dominant… So if a rag like FHM only features such tarts, a lot of lads aren’t going to be interested… Some of us still like a bit of class… FHM has deservedly gone down the bog… They couldn’t even lure Kim Kardashian to do a shoot, and that trollop would strip for a bag of chips….

  5. The Premier League are Cunts…
    The French National Anthem, La Marseillaise, will be played ahead of all this weekend’s Premier League matches…The moment when appropriate remembrance crossed over into mawkish griefjacking and grandstanding…..

    And The Stretford End will get bollocked for singing the Cantona version…

  6. The ISIS apologists are such a bunch of cunts… The tossers moaning about the bombing of Syria would probably have moaned about bombing Dresden in the last World War… Of course the BBC’s Question Time is full of the knobheads… I wonder where all these do-gooding cunts will go when there is a major Islamic State attack on Britain?

    Fucking cunts!
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CUNgdjKW4AE9T6F.jpg:large

    • I agree, Norman, but it’s also worth remembering that all the cunts who moaned about Iraq turned out to be proved right.

    • It’s predictably annoying that every incident like this is immediately followed by hordes of cunts shouting “ooohhh, they’re not representative, look at me, I’m really inclusive and liberal, you’re RACISTS, I’m better than you (oh some people were murdered)”.

      • It’s worth remembering that Islam is a religion, not a race. I’m sick of cunts misappropriating words in order to promote their lefty agenda.

        Apparently, if I object to a bunch of pikeys, sorry “travelers” parking up on the vacant plot down the road then I’m being “racist”!

        And I’m not even Islamaphobic, I’m not frightened of the cunts I just don’t fucking like them! I don’t like their fanatical devotion to a mythical supernatural being, I don’t like that they do not drink alcohol, I do not like that they exempt from animal welfare regulations, I don’t like the way they cover their women up, I don’t like the way they refuse to integrate, I don’t like their sense of superiority…etc. etc. etc.

      • That’s how things are debated these days. Simply shout “YOU’RE RACIST / ISLAMAPHOBIC” and you’ve won. It’s no different from children “winning” an argument by shouting “YOU SMELL”.

      • Islam is a bit like the Scousers… You criticise or find fault in them at your peril… Hillsborough gave these thieving, self basting, griefjacking, murdering cunts a platform to be holier than thou and untouchable on… Because of the aforementioned disaster and the related antics of The Sun ‘newspaper’ the media in general go easy on those Scouse bastards, and all the unpleasant stuff like killing Italians in Heysel, rocking occupied ambulances and celebrating air crashes are conveniently forgotten or ignored… Same goes for Islam now… We all know it’s the BBC’s pet cause (a Syrian ‘refugee’ family will be in EastEnders soon enough!), and anyone who says anything about it (no matter how right or well put their argument or criticism is) is labeled as islamaphobic…

      • GH, you are a fucking genius. All the critical debate of koran verses means nothing. Muslims fucking smell, and that is the end of the matter. Fuck off you smelly muslim cunts.

  7. I’ve just watched an old episode of Top of the Pops from November 1980 on the BBC iPlayer. Now I know Sweden is Jihad Central these days but the blonde girl from ABBA (Christ I wanted to shag her when I was a lad) was giving an ISIS salute in the Supertrooper video. I think we need to be told THE TRUTH about this! Perhaps Spivey can enlighten us?

    Wibble.

    PS – Has Tommy Vance had his collar felt by the Operation Yewtree boys? Looks like a fucking nonce.

    • Tommy Vance died a bit ago… As far as I know he was a bit of a ladies man, and one of the few Radio 1 DJs who wasn’t into girls of the younger variety (DLT, Jim’ll Savile, ‘Saint’ John Peel etc)… I heard Tony Blackburn sailed close to the wind though, and although he liked a bit of jailbait he didn’t go over the line (if you get my drift)….

      Agnetha from Abba…. That magnificent arse…. Say no more…

      Spivey will have a field day with the upcoming TOTP 1980 repeats… I can see it now: John Lennon wasn’t murdered by a lard arsed psycho… Chapman was a crisis actor, and everyone knows that it’s Paul who is really dead and he was offed by the St. Winnifred’s School Choir (and other such bollocks)…

  8. Twenty years of missing top totty because I thought FHM was Farm Hand Mechanic! There’s probably nowt as daft as a stropy Cunt, that’ll be me then.

    I’m a Cunt and I know it.

  9. As young un from a big family ,i used to nick nudie books as a hobby
    From men only to fiesta,razzle …………………………………readers wives
    A fucking old boiler poleroid with her giblets out WANK MATERIAL
    I now have internet a flat screen and porn no end BLU RAY FANNIES
    WITH BOILS ON EM scratch&sniff 3D
    What a fucking shame i was not born later

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