Dead Pool [27]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Sir Limply Stoke for winning the 26th dead pool by predicting that 96 year old Helmut Schmidt, former Fuhrer Chancellor of the Fourth Reich Germany would be the next cunt to pop his clogs.

This makes Sir Limply a 4 time winner – a rare achievement indeed! So well done Dear Boy…

So come on all you cunters! The slate is been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 27. They’re still dropping like flies this time of year so there’s never been a better time to get your name on the slate!

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices.
List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored. Please wait for the reset when a pool is won and we move on. That way, we all know where we are!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

3. It helps admin if you nominate one name per line, no numbers in front or comments afterwards. Comment what you like after your five names! A request – not a hard and fast rule – but it speeds up the list making if we can do a straight cut and paste to a spreadsheet.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

157 thoughts on “Dead Pool [27]”

  1. Tommy Docherty
    Geoffrey Bayldon
    Charles Manson
    Sidney Poitier
    Jimmy Hill

    Well played, Sir… Another hun bites the dust…

  2. Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Billy Graham
    Vera Lynn
    Olivia de Havilland
    João Havelange

    (Just pasted this over to avoid confusion!)

  3. Please may I have my last choice.

    Ricky Gervais
    Keith Chegwin
    Tim Westwood
    Robson Green
    James Blunt

  4. Congrats to Limply. Gonna have to pull me socks up to maintain the winners crown of crowns! Here’s my five to euthanasi-ise…

    Herman Wouk
    Javier Perez de Cuellar
    George Bush Snr
    Fidel Castro
    Kirk Douglas

  5. Congrats Sir Limply and I’ll stick with…..

    Colin Dexter
    George A Romero
    John Carpenter
    Hal Holbrook
    Dennis Waterman

  6. 1Barack Obama (muslim supporting cunt)
    2 Pope Frances (Peado Cunt)
    3 Roman Polanski (Cunt Cunt)
    4 Ginger Baker (Greatest Drummer,But Cunt of a Father)
    5 Benjamin Netanyahu (kid killing cunt and immigrant spreading cunt)
    same old five congrats to sir limpy.

  9. I know it has always been a cuntfest but this year’s I’m A Celebrity/Cunt has really seen the barrel scraped….

    Some old cunt off Dragon’s Den, that sad screeching bitch from Most Haunted, a little fag from some One Direction tribute band, that ugly minger from Trinny & Susannah, some cunt from Spandau Ballet, a TV director who worked on The X-Factor (I fucking ask you!), an ex Newcastle footballer (and a crap one at that!,). A Hollyoaks/FHM slapper and Chris Eubank… So that’s only Eubank and the Spandau bloke who have had any sort of real fame (‘True’ was alright), with a load of nonentities you wouldn’t piss on if they were ablaze…… ITV are cunts…

      • Thankfully the only shit celeb show that Mrs B actually likes. Admittedly there is a certain sadistic enjoyment to be gained from watching some Z list wanker so desperate to get their mostly forgotten mush on the telly that they’ll force themselves to chow down on insects or a kangaroo’s bell end.

  10. I made me noms at the end orf the old pool but you have not carried them over so it is my pleasure, having got in second (shaun of the dead was first and stole me Olivia DeHavilland) to claim me rights on these:

    Muhammed Ali
    Ken Dodd
    Fidel Castro
    Leslie Phillips
    Roy Hudd

  13. Same as last time please Dioclese.

    Kate Moss
    Pete Doherty
    Tony Blair
    Caitlin Jenner
    Bahar Mustafa

  16. Long shots for sure but I’d be made up if any of these cunts were to die.

    Tony Blair
    Charles Lynton
    Lynton Blair
    Charles Blair
    Tony Lynton

    I thank you.

  17. Good Morning! Congrats to Sir Limply.
    Please may I have:

    Cher (after careful studying of the National Enquirer…)
    Terry Wogan
    Alex Ferguson
    Alan Sugar
    Stephen Hawkin

    Thanks very much!

  18. Good call Sir L.

    Herewith, ever hopeful:

    David Rockefeller
    Santa Claus
    John Glenn
    Henry Kissinger
    Mark Thatcher

    Ta muchly.

      • Bugger! Can’t blame a lad for trying, hang on, then who is it that eats the mince pie ? Mmm?

        And so the festive season starts with a disappointment.

        Sub on: Twiggy.

      • Thats appalling Dioclese, you have just ruined christmas for the little children who visit this fucking site.

      • Exactly you ruined christmas for me too 28 years of my life and today you were painfully truthful in your expose of saint nick ,for shame sir.

      • “He’s just pleased to see you Matron”

        Do a chap a favour old sport. Drop Dioclese a note confirming we both got in our noms at the end orf the last pool. Don’t care about having them back (replacement noms above) – unless one orf ’em cops a stiffy imminently – but do care about any lingering aroma orf porkies donchaknow.

    • To avoid confusion, Sir Limply, you now have
      Ken Dodd
      Leslie Phillips
      Muhammed Ali
      Roy Hudd
      Jim Dale

      That sound OK. I don’t have anyone down has having bagged Doddy.

      • Well I did actually, but who am I to argue with the esteemed Sir Limply? So I will choose my old standby Walter Palmer to make up my five.

  23. Hello, I’ve had a real cunting day at work so I really hope the following fucking cunts die :

    1) Russell Brand
    2) Lily Allen
    3) Keith Allen
    4) Ruggero Deodato
    5) Clive Anderson.

    With thanks and much appreciation.

  24. The Beatles drummer is dead….

    No, not that one (or the other one come to that), but Andy White, who -played drums on the Beatles first single, ‘Love Me Do…’

    I personally think that Ringo will be the last Fab standing…

  25. To avoid all confusion – including mine – here’s the definitive Dead Pool 27 list as at 22:41 on 11th November :

    Alan Sugar cunnyhunny
    Alex Ferguson cunnyhunny
    Bahar Mustafa Odin’s Balls
    Barack Obama TitSlapper
    Benjamin Netanyahu TitSlapper
    Billy Graham Shaun of the Dead 69
    Caitlin Jenner Odin’s Balls
    Charles Manson Norman
    Cher cunnyhunny
    Chuck Berry Vermin Cunt Spotter
    Cliff (Clit) Richard Pagliacci
    Clive Anderson Guardian Hater
    Clive James King Cunt
    Colin Dexter Mr Bastard
    David Rockefeller King Cnut
    Debbie Reynolds Vermin Cunt Spotter
    Dennis Waterman Mr Bastard
    Derek Hatton Uncle Dickie
    Dick Dale Mr. BlobbyBlobby
    Eddie Large Uncle Dickie
    Fidel Castro Dioclese
    Geoffrey Bayldon (The Crowman) Norman
    George A Romero Mr Bastard
    George Bush Snr Dioclese
    George Michael Mr. BlobbyBlobby
    Ginger Baker TitSlapper
    Hal Holbrook Mr Bastard
    Henry Kissinger King Cnut
    Herman Wouk Dioclese
    Ian Brady Pagliacci
    Jacob Rothschild Uncle Dickie
    James Blunt Ram it home Ginger Rogers
    Javier Perez de Cuellar Dioclese
    Jim Dale Sir Limpy Stoke
    Jimmy Hill Norman
    Joan Collins Pagliacci
    João Havelange Shaun of the Dead 69
    John Carpenter Mr Bastard
    John Glenn King Cnut
    Kate Moss Odin’s Balls
    Keith Allen Guardian Hater
    Keith Chegwin Ram it home Ginger Rogers
    Keith Williams King Cunt
    Ken Dodd Sir Limpy Stoke
    Kerry Kuntona Pagliacci
    Kirk Douglas Dioclese
    Leslie Phillips Sir Limpy Stoke
    Lily Allen Guardian Hater
    Little Richard Vermin Cunt Spotter
    Maggie Smith King Cunt
    Mark Thatcher King Cnut
    Max Clifford Allan
    Melvyn Hayes Uncle Dickie
    Michael Parkinson King Cunt
    Morrissey Mr. BlobbyBlobby
    Muhammed Ali Sir Limpy Stoke
    Nancy Reagan ToolForTheMan
    Norman Tebitt Vermin Cunt Spotter
    Olivia de Havilland Shaun of the Dead 69
    Pete Doherty Odin’s Balls
    Pope Benedict Mr. BlobbyBlobby
    Pope Frances TitSlapper
    Prince Philip King Cunt
    Ricky Gervais Ram it home Ginger Rogers
    Robson Green Ram it home Ginger Rogers
    Rolf Harris Allan
    Roman Polanski TitSlapper
    Roy Hudd Sir Limpy Stoke
    Ruggero Deodato Guardian Hater
    Russell Brand Guardian Hater
    Sidney Poitier Norman
    Sir Bernard Ingham Vermin Cunt Spotter
    Sir John Chilcot Mr. BlobbyBlobby
    Stephen Hawken cunnyhunny
    Stuart Hall Allan
    Terry Wogan cunnyhunny
    Tim O’Carroll Allan
    Tim Westwood Ram it home Ginger Rogers
    Tommy Docherty Norman
    Tony Blair Odin’s Balls
    Twiggy King Cnut
    Vera Lynn Shaun of the Dead 69
    Windsor Davies Uncle Dickie
    Woody Allen Pagliacci
    Zsa Zsa Gabor Shaun of the Dead 69

    You can also have it by cunter :

    Cunter Cunt
    Allan Max Clifford
    Allan Rolf Harris
    Allan Stuart Hall
    Allan Tim O’Carroll
    cunnyhunny Alan Sugar
    cunnyhunny Alex Ferguson
    cunnyhunny Cher
    cunnyhunny Stephen Hawken
    cunnyhunny Terry Wogan
    Dioclese Fidel Castro
    Dioclese George Bush Snr
    Dioclese Herman Wouk
    Dioclese Javier Perez de Cuellar
    Dioclese Kirk Douglas
    Guardian Hater Clive Anderson
    Guardian Hater Keith Allen
    Guardian Hater Lily Allen
    Guardian Hater Ruggero Deodato
    Guardian Hater Russell Brand
    King Cnut David Rockefeller
    King Cnut Henry Kissinger
    King Cnut John Glenn
    King Cnut Mark Thatcher
    King Cnut Twiggy
    King Cunt Clive James
    King Cunt Keith Williams
    King Cunt Maggie Smith
    King Cunt Michael Parkinson
    King Cunt Prince Philip
    Mr Bastard Colin Dexter
    Mr Bastard Dennis Waterman
    Mr Bastard George A Romero
    Mr Bastard Hal Holbrook
    Mr Bastard John Carpenter
    Mr. BlobbyBlobby Dick Dale
    Mr. BlobbyBlobby George Michael
    Mr. BlobbyBlobby Morrissey
    Mr. BlobbyBlobby Pope Benedict
    Mr. BlobbyBlobby Sir John Chilcot
    Norman Charles Manson
    Norman Geoffrey Bayldon (The Crowman)
    Norman Jimmy Hill
    Norman Sidney Poitier
    Norman Tommy Docherty
    Odin’s Balls Bahar Mustafa
    Odin’s Balls Caitlin Jenner
    Odin’s Balls Kate Moss
    Odin’s Balls Pete Doherty
    Odin’s Balls Tony Blair
    Pagliacci Cliff (Clit) Richard
    Pagliacci Ian Brady
    Pagliacci Joan Collins
    Pagliacci Kerry Kuntona
    Pagliacci Woody Allen
    Ram it home Ginger Rogers James Blunt
    Ram it home Ginger Rogers Keith Chegwin
    Ram it home Ginger Rogers Ricky Gervais
    Ram it home Ginger Rogers Robson Green
    Ram it home Ginger Rogers Tim Westwood
    Shaun of the Dead 69 Billy Graham
    Shaun of the Dead 69 João Havelange
    Shaun of the Dead 69 Olivia de Havilland
    Shaun of the Dead 69 Vera Lynn
    Shaun of the Dead 69 Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Sir Limpy Stoke Jim Dale
    Sir Limpy Stoke Ken Dodd
    Sir Limpy Stoke Leslie Phillips
    Sir Limpy Stoke Muhammed Ali
    Sir Limpy Stoke Roy Hudd
    TitSlapper Barack Obama
    TitSlapper Benjamin Netanyahu
    TitSlapper Ginger Baker
    TitSlapper Pope Frances
    TitSlapper Roman Polanski
    ToolForTheMan Nancy Reagan
    Uncle Dickie Derek Hatton
    Uncle Dickie Eddie Large
    Uncle Dickie Jacob Rothschild
    Uncle Dickie Melvyn Hayes
    Uncle Dickie Windsor Davies
    Vermin Cunt Spotter Chuck Berry
    Vermin Cunt Spotter Debbie Reynolds
    Vermin Cunt Spotter Little Richard
    Vermin Cunt Spotter Norman Tebitt
    Vermin Cunt Spotter Sir Bernard Ingham

    Anyone disagrees, let me know and I’ll change it if I can be arsed…

      • By hours you mean minutes copy and paste? but seriously sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who reads the nominations before hand well a few other cunters as well but this should avoid confusion Thanks dioclese for the nom listing.

    • You forgot me Dioclese you cunt

      1/ Sepp Blatter
      2/ Michel Platini
      3/ Jerome Valcke
      4/ Jack Warner
      5/ Chuck Blazer

      I’d like to nominate FIFA but I suspect organisations are excluded from this esteemed competition.

      • Apologies for the oversight. I go through often hundred plus comments a day so I suppose it was always going to happen. I shouldn’t miss any because I used the admin comment screen rather than go through individual posts, but I’m not perfect 😉 The list when I’ve been away a few days is bloody horrendous…

        You’re on the list now tho’ and they’re all good.

        Why stop at FIFA? IAAF and IOC are just as cunty!

  26. Here are my dead pool predictions:

    Paul Gascoigne
    Jim Bowen
    Bernie Eccleston
    Diana Ross
    Liza Minelli

  29. It is a sad fact that at my age one orf the few things that one remembers are the Dead Cunt noms going back a good few years. Counting them is the only way I get to sleep at night. My appreciation to Allan and to Dioclese for playing the white man.

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