So I said fuck that, and stopped playing, 8 of them still play every week and they have still yet to win anything over 4 numbers.Mugs!
That’s bad enough and truly deserving of a cunting but there’s more…
I just went to the shop to get a paper and some tobacco, something in my mind told me to buy a ticket, I’ve not bought one for years, but wait! The cunts now want £2 per ticket and have increased the numbers from 1-49 to 1-59. WHAT THE FUCK!
So before you had fuck all chance of winning and now it seems you may as well just donate £2 to the National Lottery because those extra 10 numbers exponentially decrease you chances of even wining £10
I know gambling and lotteries are for mugs, but fucking hell, what a bunch of cunts who deserve cunting!
Nominated by: Boaby
Yes, that’s three days in a row, Boaby. Don’t let it go to your head!
(The things I do just to keep people happy!)
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Former ITN newsreader Gordon Honeycomb has shuffled off his mortal, bet no one had him in The Pool. Personally I’d forgotten the man ever existed….
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Geoffrey Howe pegged out last night too. Who had him in their pool?
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Dropping like flies!
I can confirm no hit for Geoffrey Howe.
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I’ve got to admit, I’ve rarely played the lottery. I’ve never really seen in the point in it. I used to play on the stock market and did quite well on it. Well enough that at 42, I only need to work part time. And even then, it’s by choice rather than necessity. I’m with the RAF Reserve, because I can’t quite give up the military life. Camelot, are without doubt, a huge bunch of cunts. Making it more difficult is the sign of a monumental cunt. Watch, in the next couple of years, they’ll put the price up again, and then the directors will give themselves huge pay rises.
I reckon that by 2020, you’ll be paying somewhere around £5 per line.
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Totally bastardised by the corrupt sods that run it. The original concept that John Major came up with was good but we should have known it would get abused. Apparently, Camelot is rumoured to be owned by the Mafia. Even Spivey couldn’t make that one up. OK he could – but he doesn’t deal in reality…
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It wouldn’t surprise me if the Cosa Nostra had their fingers in Camelot’s till. It’s so ridiculous that it actually has an air of truth to it.
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Dead pool nom – Jenni Murray.
The grotesque cancerous fuck-pig is now about 40 stones. Apparently her arse is permanently blocked with caviar and truffles (bought on BBC expenses that is additional to her £720,000-a-year salary) and she has to shit out of her mouth.
According to the cunt Jenni Murray tattooed crack prostitutes are ‘strong’ women making ‘positive choices’ about their lifestyle. Women who abandon their babies to be abused in chav-run baby farms, to work in shops for £5 an hour, are modern mothers ‘having it all’. Single mothers are heroes (instead of dirty cunts bringing up feral beasts who would murder a pensioner for a quid to by glue to sniff).
Jenni Murray will die soon. There is no question about that. The evil pig beast will burn in hell forever. She has been influential in turning women into worthless dirty cunts (on stilts) who’s only interests are dressing like whores and filling their putrid VD holes with scabby knobs.
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Anyone have Geoffrey Howe in the Deadpool?
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His wife missed a trick – the stupid bitch could have come on here to nominate him, after she found the cunt dead and before the news broke, and been admired for 5 minutes by the dead-pool fans.
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See my previous responses to this question 😉
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Here are tonight’s winning numbers:
38 57 52 24 13 1
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Fucking cunt – I lost £2
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Congratulations to Mr Boaby, is this a first in is a cunt history?
The national lottery has been a con from the beginning, 14 million to 1 was a piss take but now it has gone to 45 million to 1. What kind of sad fucking loser bets on odds like that?
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Wish I hadn’t indulged him now…..
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Even a broken clock is correct twice a day,
For those interested I got one fucking number (32) – Cunts.
I was hoping to win, so then I could tell the wife to fuck off, purchased a Lamborghini and had cocaine fueled orgies with east European hookers till I popped my clogs from a heart-attack!
Everyone has a dream, right?
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Lotto’s are scams your better off without them, also there have been alot scuffles between teams who by tickets they buy the ticket and don’t tell the other person. I’ve also noticed how stupid people are with their winnings I mean you don’t go out buy a few cars and buy a kilogram of cocaine be smart with it put 80% percent in the bank and treat yourself but don’t be a show off chav. Especially this cunt king of chavs mickey carroll https://youtu.be/c4KPDCpH9sw he could of been set for life but instead he blows it all on cocaine , prostitutes, mercedes,demolition derby ,and useless shite you’d never use. Money isn’t everything be happy with what you have and make smart choices in life.
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I agree, the stupid cunt could have forgone the Demolition Derby .
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Micky Carrol… What a weapons grade cunt… If I won the fucking thing hardly anyone would know about it… My mrs and my sisters and that’s about it… People (mates included) have big mouths and every cunt would be crawling out of the woodwork and there’d be fake two faced cunts licking arse… Either that or you’d get called a flash bastard by jealous cunts… I probably wouldn’t even move house… I’d get it renovated and redecorated, a nice holiday a couple of times a year and that’d do me… Any cunt who gets such a stroke of good fortune and blows it deserves all they get…
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The cunt should have died painfully in the demolition derby…
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Now mickey ‘chav’ carrol is working in a cookie factory(Walkers Shortbread factory) with limited visitor rights with his kids because he’s a shitty father. If I won that amount of money I’d been set for life. I only play lotto every once in a while maybe 3 times a year at best.
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Agreed. Carroll was/is an arsehole, with the IQ of a mouldy carrot. The type of winner that really annoys me though, are the ones who win £8 million and then tell the world that it won’t change them and they won’t quit their job because they love it.
What? Well give the fucking money back then, you miserable cunts. My wife and I loved being soldiers, but the second we didn’t have to, we were out of there.
And despite what the claim, winning the jackpot DOES change you. You’re several MILLION quid richer than you were the day before. That in itself is a fucking massive change.
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I’m reminded of the Pulp lyric;
“Check your lucky numbers, that much money could drag you under, oh.
What’s the point of being rich if you can’t think what to do with it?
‘Cause you’re so bleeding thick. ”
Most of the cretins who do the lottery lack the intelligence or the imagination to make use of their winnings, that’s why they are playing the lottery in the first place.
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Mark Ronson, now why the fuck has this cunt not been cunted before. This rich privileged talentless fucker has a stranglehold on the music biz simply because he was born to infuencial connected people and can pull off a half decent cover. Fuck me , the words original, talented, creative or even ‘can write a basic tune with three chords’ will never ever be applied to this rich cunt. On the other hand he could pull off a very good wedding band playing everyones favourites. NEPOTISTIC CUNT.
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The Ronson cunt thinks he is Phil Spector, George Martin and Glyn Johns combined… When in actual fact he’s just a cunt born with a silver spoon shoved up his arse… I recall one act who were ‘produced’ by the little twat…They said, ‘Oh yes, we know Mark… We knew his parents…’
Says it all really… What a spoonfed, coddled cunt….
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Phil spector is another cunt who thinks he’s he is gods gift to humanity , he’s produced a few decent singles but he’s a bit overrated I think. His influence can’t be denied and I liked the ramones end of the century and him co-producing a few rolling stone tracks during the brian jones era.
The best thing phil had was the wrecking crew that was his wall of sound but the term itself has been bastardized to the extreme like it was some grandiose thing. He died down in the 80’s taking shite loads of cocaine and becoming a paranoid zombie then he killed some beautiful woman and he was waving his gun around like a foolish cunt and shot her now he’s in prison playing with big bubba.
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I agree that Spector was/is a twat… He terrorised Ronnie Bennett when he was married to her, he also fucked up The Beatles last (released) album… I also think he overegged George’s ‘All Things Must Pass….’ Some fine songs on there (thanks to George), but why does that wall of sound have to drench everything? Also the percussion on most tracks sounds like someone shaking a box of cornflakes… Also Spector was a cunt for his buddy buddy attitude to that cunt, Ike Turner… Spector told everyone that Tina basically asked to be raped and beaten up by Ike… Spector didn’t do much at all with The Stones… Keith Richards says that Dave Hassinger and Jack Nitzsche did the production work…
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That Xmas album Spector did was good though…
Not as good as Slade, mind you…
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camelot are cunts. they have it arse about face. they think people want massive jackpots,noooooooooooo ! whats better 1 chance of winning 20 million or 20 chances of winning 1 million? i have been doing the same numbers for 12 years, most i have won is £108 for 4 numbers ( had the first 4 numbers out, got quite excited for about 2 seconds ) when it went up to £2 i thought of jacking it in but now its gone to 59 numbers i’m gonna stop.i can see it going for weeks on end with no one getting 6 numbers. stick it up yer arse camelot but thanks for finally making me see sense.
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I’m debating whether to cunt myself. A couple of hours ago, my youngest daughter (15) made a quip about me being ancient, when it came up that I’m 42. In front of her friends, I looked her right in the eye and said, ‘your mother and I had sex last night. And we may do so again tonight’. I thought it was quite a good come back. According to my wife though, it makes me a cunt.
I’m not sorry for it. And if my progeny makes another quip about my age, I’ll do it again. Ok, THAT might make me a cunt. I’m still not sorry though.
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An even better comeback would have been:
“Your mother and I had sex last night. And we may do so again tonight. What about you?”
You can bet your life your youngest would have shut the fuck up forever.
A friend of mine was once reprimanded by his teenage daughter for smoking. “It’s a filthy habit,” she whined. “Well,” replied my friend, “everyone knows that teenagers of both sexes masturbate excessively – isn’t that a filthy habit too?” Needless to say, she never moaned about him smoking after that. Embarrassment is definitely the most effective way to silence truculent teens.
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I’m stealing that come back of your friend’s. Embarrassing a teenager in front of their friends can work wonders. You have to be sure they’re nowhere near anything that can be used as a weapon though.
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Brevity is the soul of wit
a simple; “Have you started masturbating yet?” should do the trick.
Although in some circles that could be construed as child abuse. Best just to have fuck all to do with the little cunts.
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I generally try to keep her at arms length. Unfortunately, she lives in MY house, so contact is often necessary. Luckily, she’s the youngest, and only one to still be at home. We actually used to have FIVE under the same roof. The eldest three are triplets and 23 now. The two girls followed their folks into the Army, and my son joined the Navy. He’s now a warfare specialist on a submarine. The other is 18 and just started at uni.
I was hoping the 15 year old, Jenny, would turn out to be a genius, so she could fuck off early to Oxford or Cambridge, but the little cow has insisted on being of normal intelligence.
I actually thought about telling her she was an accident, because it’s true. That may be a bit to cruel though. People often talk about the dangers of drunk texting. Far more dangerous though, is the drunk fuck.
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Smash the wifes back doors in tonight and promise her a pair of Louboutins if she screams the house down, that will teach your daughter to fuck with the king of the household.
Fucking feminazi cunts
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Our house is sound proofed. The wife’s idea. However, when we had the house built, to our own plans, I had a roof terrace included in them, on which is my man cave. I’ve considered buying a plastic skeleton and hanging from the roof, right outside her bedroom window.
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my Girlfriends son whent through a not changing his bed linnen stage, he also got stropy with her at the dinner table when she sugested that tonight would be a good night to do it,
I calmed the situation down by explaining to him that his mum wasnt “having a go at him” it was just that when he had those funny dreams and woke up all sticky, well he was making the bed smell which was why the dog had recently shat in it (true).
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oh for fucks sake! i see that now if you get 2 numbers you get a free lucky dip ! well whoopy fuckin dee! thats great compensation for having an extra 10 numbers. a free entry to something thats virtually impossible to win this absolutely stinks. i see no one won the jackpot last night. what i hope now is that no fucker wins it for weeks and weeks and at 45 million to 1 thats quite likely to happen. camelot you’re 2 quids down as far i’m concerned. i’m surprised this hasn’t caused more of a stink.
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I noticed that, its so they can say your overall odds of winning a PRIZE is now 9 to 1 instead of 50 to 1, whilst omitting to mention the odds of wining the jackpot have tripled and the main PRIZE that will be paid out will now be another draw, whoopy fucking shit.
Honestly you would be better off with premium bonds, still fuck all chance of wining but you never loose your stake
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sorry to keep on but this really needs mentioning. i find it hard to believe camelot can be so fuckin cynical. they are actually advertising the changes they made as follows ‘ more numbers to choose from’ ! what the fuck?, thats a fuckin good thing is it you moronic cunts ? someone should organise a boycott.
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I know – the logic of that advert is absolutely baffling. Are there really millions of frustrated lottery players out there thinking “the reason I haven’t won a big prize yet is that there just aren’t enough numbers to choose from…” ?? Cunts.
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While I’m thinking of it, I’m nominating a creature that I shall call the, ‘amateur bushcrafter’. This a creature that buys all the books and DVD’s on bushcraft it can find. Especially those by Ray Mears, Bear Grylls and Lofty Wiseman. You’ve probably met one. They tend to wear Army surplus clothing and think they’re an expert on all things military, again because they’ve bought the books. And they usually like to try to make other people think they’re a military/bushcraft expert. I don’t know why they do that though, because they’re usually not an expert. On anything.
I am an expert on what’s known as bushcraft. I was taught about the outdoors from a young age by my Texan granddad and his Apache best friend (Native Americans are among the best people to learn this sort of thing from). I also learned a fair bit about the subject whilst serving in the Army. I even spent the last four years of my career serving as a jungle warfare instructor in Belize. But I’m only an expert because I’ve spent years practising my skills. These dicks think they can read a book and become an instant expert.
This was perfectly demonstrated earlier today. I went out for a walk in the woods behind my house. They’re quite big these woods, and one of the places I use for my wild camping trips. Near to the river that runs through the middle, I encountered two such cretins. They’d actually done an adequate job of setting up their tarps and hammocks but they were doing a piss poor job of getting a fire going. This was mainly because, despite the open book (Ray Mears) they had no idea about the correct way to build a fire. They’d all the gear though. Shiny, new stuff like a small forest axe, bushcraft knives, survival tin, med kit, etc. There was no tinder or kindling, just four large logs, about 8 inches in diameter and twice that long. They were wondering why they couldn’t get them to light. Did I mention that there was a shit load of dry grass all over the ground? Well I have now. As I’m sure you’re aware, you do not try to start a fire in an area that has that much combustible material on the ground.
So, I got them to clear the entire area that their camp was in, keeping some to help with starting their fire. To be fair, they were actually quite good students. And after only an hour, they had one of the logs ablaze. I advised them to do a bushcraft course and then went on my way. If I hadn’t been there though, they would either have started a massive forest fire, or they’d still be trying to get a fire going now.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve encountered an increasing number of people, usually young guys, who buy all the gear, and the books/DVD’s, and have absolutely NO idea what they’re doing. Sooner or later, someone is going to be seriously hurt because these dumb fucks haven’t the first clue what they’re doing. A book can’t tell them how sharp a knife or axe can be. And none of the books I’ve seen have mentioned the importance of practising the skills they demonstrate. I’ve been out hiking with my wife in the lake district, Cumbria and the Pennines and seen people hiking wearing jeans and trainers. No map or compass, just a fucking smartphone app. One idiot even asked my for directions to Ladybower dam. We were in Cumbria at the time.
In some ways, it’s good that people are taking more of an interest in the British countryside. I just wish they would clue the fuck up before heading out.
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Ladybower? Get to Manchester and ask again.
That’ll larn him.
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AT LEAST THE GOLD DIGGING CUNTS WERE HONEST ABOUT THERE GREED. ITS ALL ABOUT MARKETING. PROMOTING A JACKPOT OF 50 MILLION SOUNDS MORE EXCITING THAN ONE OF 2MILIION, BUT WHO WANTS 2 MILL?…. NOT ME! I WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE CHANCE OF WINNING 50. DUH
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time for another cunting. 5 numbers paid out £15 the other day!!!. i’d be very interested to know how their takings have gone since they introduced the 10 extra numbers. ‘ more numbers to choose from ‘ yes that really was the advertising slogan they used the fucking idiots. i stopped straightaway and i’m sure as no wins the jackpot week after week lots of others will have packed up. the only way to get them to reverse this stupid stupid decision is to stop playing.
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