And thanks to our first past the post voting system the only guarantee is that the government that you get will be the one most people didn’t vote for.
I’m voting Looney because it makes no difference where I live because it’s a safe Tory seat. If you stuck a blue rosette on a chimp around here then it would get a 10,000 vote majority. Oh! Hang on! They did…
I’ll vote because if I don’t then I can’t complain at what I get. Don’t want to vote? Then scrawl ‘no suitable candidate’ across the ballot paper and spoil it. Even ‘they’re all cunts’ will do. Then at least you’ve told them what you think instead of sitting at home on your arse and whinging about the system.
And of course, we’ll all sit up all night watching Peter Snow and his fucking swingometer because it’s all so rivettingly exciting. And tomorrow when we see the results, it will be business as usual. Same cunts, different names.
Still, it’s an excuse to stay up late and get pissed, so that’ll have to do…
Nominated by: Dioclese
…and did I mention that the SNP are cunts?
I look out of my window and see loads of red Labour flags in nearly every garden. Being English and working class (and therefore “not worth saving” Jack Straw, you UBER-CUNT!), I regard Labour with the same unmanning fear that a black man might feel when the Ku Klux Klan march into town. Thanks to the inexplicable influence of media Cunts like Brand and the odious Paul O’Grady (surely ripe for a cunting of Biblical proportions) I fear that The Milibandroid is going to march into Downing Street on a tidal wave of self righteous smugness with either the SNP or Greens gleefully capering behind him. Not that I rate the Tories much but I wouldn’t trust the Labour Party to run a fucking bath. Not even if Miliband dragged out the reanimated zombie of Clement Athlee for support. For the first time in my life, I actually feel genuinely scared of an election result, after 50 years of not giving a shit. Oh and the SNP are utter, UTTER cunts. Socialism and Nationalism in one package….. National.. er… Social… er… sounds vaguely familiar from… somewhere……. Oh shit.
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I have been saying for quite a while now that Sturgeon reminds me ominously of Hitler in a skirt…
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An old 80’s pop song springs to mind… “Turning Jockanese, I think we’re turning Jockanese I really think so (doodle-eeh-doo-doo-doo!)”
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And we certainly will be in the doodle-doo-doo after today if Red Ed and the Virgin Sturgeon get their way.
So much for democracy…
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Paul O’Grady should also be a candidate for the Dead Pool, he’s not that old yet but there’s always hope. I would like to formally cunt him for being up Miliband’s arse, gloating about “politically enlightening” school kids on his show and for dragging his dog into the TV studio where the poor little cunt looks hot and terrified under the studio lights. Also ripe for cunting are all those well off influential twats suffering from “Post Colonial Guilt” who have contributed to the demonising of our history when most other countries in Europe have pretty much done the “Empire Thing” too. I’d feel a bit of a twat having a go at a modern German person for what the Nazis got up to but I’m supposed to hang my head in shame over shit that happened centuries ago. Bollocks to that. Anyone would think that the English invented slavery.
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Remember when over 1200 girls were raped in Rotherham on Labour’s watch because of political correctness?
Because their voters don’t….
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Cameron would like us to believe that anything but a Conservative victory would signal the end of western civilization as we know it. And as only sixty-odd per cent of registered voters are likely to take part, there are a lot of people who wouldn’t appear to be greatly worried by that prospect.
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I think 13 years of Nu Labour saw to that, progressively stupefying an entire nation.
Spam Cam does not quite have the Jedi mind trick abilities over the mouth breathers like Tony Bliar did. Thankfully Millibandroid does not have this ability either, but he is little more than a marionette in a suitcase waiting for rectal insertion from the Unions or the SNP.
The SNP are still cunts though.
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Ed Balls is an Ex MP after losing his seat… but he’s still a full on cunt, the pompous, fat faced toss pot. Someone needs to stick a pin in his neck and let out all fucking hot air.
And it’s so nice to see his boss Mr Milibland taken down a peg or two. A right pair of cunts. Mind you now we’ve got bacon faced Cameron for another five years. Think I shall emigrate…Room for one more in Nuzzieland Flaxen? I have a ready supply of matches and kindling to pay my way ??
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I fucking hate voting! … but I voted UKIP anyway…. just to piss you cunts off!
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Least they got one vote
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On the subject of the SNP, I wonder what the Horst Wessel song sounds like in a Scots accent….
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Horst Thistle? or Hoots Wessel?….
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Scotia, Scotia Uber Alles?
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Comedian and activist (ha fucking ha) Russell Brand has said that he regrets getting swept up in party politics ahead of the general election, in a new video on his YouTube Channel the Trews.
Though he “thought he could make a difference” he admits he is “just a bloke with a laptop and a bit of mouth” and had “no influence” on the outcome of the election after backing Ed Miliband in the week leading up to Labour’s polling day collapse.
The outspoken TV personality, who famously told Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman he did not vote, reconsidered his position after an interview with the opposition leader last week.
Of course Brand is only saying that because Milliband got shafted… The smelly sack of shit would be full of it if Labour had won… Just a bloke with a laptop and a bit of mouth? Nah, Russell, you are a cunt who thinks it’s all a game… Becuase your ridiculous bank balance and celebrity status means you don’t really give a frig who governs Britain… Just die, Brand, you fucking cunt…
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“I will now form a majority Conservative government” says David Cameron, whilst 75% of us didn’t vote Tory…
Democracy? Bollocks!
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