Dead Pool [15]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Yes, Dioclese has won it again! What a clever little cunt I am!!

Congratulations to me who predicted the next dead cunt would be former Aussie PM Gough Whitlam who died on the 21st October. Being an extremely modest sort of bloke, I wasn’t monitoring it and didn’t realise how brilliant I was until somebody told me he’d snuffed it.

So we have a new Dead Pool champ and clearly I’m going to have to defend my title one more time! so the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 15. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

73 thoughts on “Dead Pool [15]”

  1. Here’s my high five…

    Zsa Zsa Gabor
    Billy Graham
    Kirk Douglas
    Peter O’Sullivan
    Wilko Johnson

  2. I was hoping Wilko Johnson was on the mend, so, in the hope I might get to see him play again, I hope you don’t win with him.

    My 5 requests:
    Ian Brady (
    Ian Watkins
    Vera Lynn (come on you old trout, times up)
    Leonard Nimoy
    Stan Lee

    • All noted. Gazza is inspring. Mind you, he’s come back from the dead more times than Lazarus…

  6. Can I have…
    Joao Havelange
    Olivia De Havilland
    Antony Booth
    Liz Smith
    Caroline Aherne

  8. My reckoning please:
    Mohammed Ali
    Helmut Schmidt
    Anthony Armstrong Jones
    Jerry Lewis
    Ken Dodd

    And may the Stoke family curses be visited upon the cunts that stole me original noms such as Doris Day, Olivia DeHavilland and Leslie Philips.

  10. First of all I’d like to say congratulations on your win Dioclese. And my nominations please. Neil Armstrong Ken Dodd Michael Parkinson Jim Dale Judy Dench.

  12. Oh fuck I’m a right thck cunt. I’ll swap Neil Armstrong for Brian Cox (actor) he looks rougher every time I see him.

  13. 5 from Flea Mansions

    John Cleese
    Douglas Hurd
    Charlie Watts
    George Foreman
    Richie Benaud

    Fingers crossed !

  15. I’m about to make a tactical error – changing long standing nominations.
    One of my old list will now die off very quickly.
    Doing this is the kiss of *err* death.

    No longer: Acker Bilk, Denis Healey Jean Alexander Cliff Michelmore and John the Jihadi

    Right, it’s Hollyweird all the way for me here:

    Mel Brooks
    Gene Wilder
    Honor Blackman
    Harper Lee
    Dick Van Dyke

    • Oh yes, and death to Sioux Chieftain in the 1:20 at Catterick today which I was firmly fucking informed could not possibly lose ever in a million years, guaranteed mate, nailed on guv’r etc etc.

      Horse tipsters are cunts. Must write that one up for the front page.

      • I feel for you. No. I really do. I’ve been there. Right person, wrong pool….

        Old Acker is no more – and you had him in Dead Pool 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, and 7. And what happens? You drop him from Dead Pool 15 and then he dies on you. Clearly a right cunt…!

        I was so convinced that you had got him at last, I even pulled the picture to roll over to the next pool, and then what did I find? Oh dear, oh dear…..

      • Console yourself dear heart thet your powers orf prophecy are as bang orn as ever. You predicted that the second you switched horses the old nag would win the treble and so it came to pass. Tough cheddar that the old gee-gees are running a bit foreign on you these days but such is life. At least you do not have to put up with the obscene sound orf a vulture sniggering which is the cross I must bear.

  16. The Lord he hath spake and unto me hath delivereth this ungodly crew:
    Christopher Lee (never happy at the way the cunt portrayed me)
    Frank Finlay
    Gerard Depardieu
    Valery Giscard d’Estaing
    Clint Eastwood

  17. Ray Reardon
    Bill Beaumont
    Peter Hain….horribly painfully, hopefully
    Billy Bingham…..I hope not because he was the greatest manager ever…82,86
    Bob Hawke

  18. Damn. Looks like I will have to swop Anthony Armstrong Jones for Peter Sutcliff (reportedly orn last legs again), long time favourite orf Fred West if nobody has got in there first.

    • Hhhmmm…… OK.

      But I might have to take another look at rule three next time….?

      He’ll probably outlive us all anyway. Only the good die young.

    • Added to the list. Thanks.

      But I’m afraid Prince Philip and Ian Brady have already been taken so you can have 2 more

  21. 1. valerie harper 2. andy dick 3. andy fordham 4. pudsey (the bgt dog) 5. harry styles (hopefully)

  22. So Glen .A. Larson has shuffled off…. OK, so his shows were basically arse (Battlestar Galactica etc). But at least Knight Rider had a good theme tune…

    Although it has to be said that the original Battlestar was miles better than the recent crappy reboot version…

  23. A pisser that Ian ‘Mac’ McGlagan has gone… He was in two superb bands (Small Faces and Faces), was a master of the Hammond B3, and when I had the pleasure of speaking to the guy, he was a genuinely nice fellah…

    Longtime Stones sax player, Bobby Keys, also passed on… Bobby was almost as important to the Stones sound in their prime as Keef’s riffs… RIP lads…

  25. Well the Grim Cunter has it with Jeremy Thorpe. Well done that man.
    I am sticking with my original list please:

    Mohammed Ali
    Helmut Schmidt
    Anthony Armstrong Jones
    Jerry Lewis
    Ken Dodd

  26. Thus the sinner reaps the rewards of his iniqiuity. He will burn in Hell for an eternity.
    The Good and Bounteous Lord hath revealed these cunts to me to be ready for His Judgement
    Leslie Phillips, Christopher Lee, Gerard Depardieu, Valery Giscard d’Estaing, Clint Eastwood
    I give thanks and wish thee a merry Yuletide, pagan abomination though it be.

  27. I would like to change my list to the following for number 16:
    Sam Simon
    Jimmy Hill
    Antony Booth
    Helen Fawkes
    Diana Athill

  28. I shall choose:
    Dame Vera Lynne
    Leonard Nimoy ( logically)
    Kirk Douglas
    Ian Brady
    Bob Geldof

    I’d also like to share Dave the troll as a rank outsider with all and sundry

      • Apparently the former members of Wings said McCartney was really tight arsed when it came to paying them… The best musician they ever had (Jimmy McCulloch) was paid a pittance. He also got sick of Linda McCartney (of all people!) ordering him around. So he eventually told them to fuck off…

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