Gentlemen, start your violins…

An ‘oh what a pity’ cunting for that dog rough old slapper, Katie Price, who has filed for bankruptcy.  Also known as ‘Jordan’ (is that because she historically welcomes anyone willing to paddle up her ‘river’ ?) has been declared bankrupt in a hearing at the High Court, when she had failed to make repayments of her debts.

Price, who lives in a £2m ‘mansion’ West Sussex, was once said to be worth more than £40m. She had a string of ‘Autobiographies’ published, which it later turned out were written by an unnamed ghost writer.

She was a frequent face on the front of ‘lads’ mags & appeared in TV shows Footballers’ Wives, and the 2004 series of I’m A Cunt… Get Me Out of Here, despite having all the class of tramps whippet & as much charisma as smoked kippers.
The loud mouthed, three times divorced mother of five, is now dating another gullible sap (who must be blind, deaf or stupid). She allegedly held a swanky party last weekend, despite creditors knocking at the door, whilst her pink Range Rover was spotted on sale at a used car dealers with “REPO” on the windscreen.

She was in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse, and convicted of driving while twice the legal limit (colour me ‘surprised’). This summer, she admitted screaming a “tirade of abuse” at her ex-husband’s new partner in a school playground (FFS) and was fined £415.

It’s about time this self-important hag was brought down a peg or two, but she’ll probably play the courts, putting her house in her boyfriends name, and will be knocking back the champers by the bucket load. Expect a ‘Katie, my bankruptcy hell’ feature on the front of ‘Hello’ magazine, and smug Phil Schofield fawning all over her on morning TV.

I think I’m gonna puke …

Nominated by Lord of the Rings