Ralph Ineson

I would like to cunt that fuckin’ bloke whose voice is behind so many fuckin’ adverts.

Well to be more precise not him but the ad. Companies that have decided he has the sort of voice we all ‘like’. He does the ‘you do the maths’ advert and now he actually appears on screen for the new ‘Betdaq’ advert .

Fuck off widdya!

Nominated by Richard1

25 thoughts on “Ralph Ineson

  1. Is he the cunt that play Chris Finch in The Office?

    If so he was a complete cunt in that – both as a character and actor; and has been a bit of a cunt ever since! Not exactly much of a leading man on TV or film probably because I can barely understand his gruff accent and he’s not very photogenic either.

    But those TV ads of his really do grate, to the point where the mute button is the only option.

    In the immortal words of David Brent: “Fuck off!”

    • I thought Ineson was pretty fucking good in The Office. The Chris Finch character was supposed to be a complete cunt.

      Those bastard ads make me sick though.

  2. He certainly does a lot of voice over work, the cunt’s dulcet northern tones are everywhere. I’ve seen him in a couple of things and I can’t say he annoys me.
    The day he appears with a load of luvvies, sucking the EU/Peaceful cock is the day I hate the cunt. Until then, good luck to him.

  3. What about the terrorist walking post box claiming her human rights were violated as her 7 rejected tax payer funded houses weren’t to her liking?

    Answer: Give her some Lego and let her build her own house.

    Fucking ungrateful bitch. I would buy her a house in Chernobyl or wherever there is an Ebola virus and,while she was in it:Semtex the bitch.

  4. I read a recent short interview with him once. He clearly lives for his wife and kids and seems an alright guy. He also comes across as very grounded, so I am with Freddie on this one.

    On this occasion I won’t be boarding the Cunting Carousel for the ride.

      • You get your leg blown off,
        Your arm blown off,
        Leg off,
        Arm off,
        Then they cut your head off,
        You’re going about your business,
        And you’re an infidel ,
        That’s what it’s all about,

        Oh , Isalamablokey !!
        Oh , Isalamablokey !!
        Oh , Isalamablokey !!
        Big beard ,
        Big knife ,
        Hire , hire car.

        Good morning.

      • Hahaha thank you JTC. Brought a belly laugh to me this morning!!

        Lyrics courtesy of Sir Tim Rice?

  5. Agree CF
    These smart arse advertising executives do treat the public like complete Cunts but it must work on The masses, they use people that their target audience identity with ….

    For wholesome family food we have Geordie lass Sarah millican droning on about Sainsbury’s?
    Wanna trust your mobile phone company give good old honest as Sheffield steel Sean bean a call on 02, fuck me it’s been going on for years , trusty northerner Brian Glover declared “ bread with nowt taken out”? Imagine posh cunt Hugh grant flogging hovis? 😂
    Most patronising of all and the adverts I find most distasteful are the 365 gambling with professional cockney wanker and man of working classers Ray winstone “ gertcha yourself Dan to 365 ya fuckin Toby’s “ Chortles winstone whilst dressed as some kind of cockney spive/ wideboy/ cunt/
    I can’t really Cunt ineson off as he’s just treading a well worn path and sticking a few quid in his pockets…..

    • Winstone is a despicable, shameless cunt pocketing 365 betting cash and popping up at HT for in-play betting. Professional cockney/hard man for hire who’d just as soon climb into lycra tights and recite Shakespearean bollocks. Thank fuck there’s so little live footie on commercial channels that we now see comparatively little of this Uber-cunt.

      I did however enjoy ice-hot MILF Keeley Hawes flogging Ford Fiestas in a typically very classy manner over the summer.

      • Did you see him in the sweeney?
        Don’t you just know he fucking wrote the bit in where that sexy young police woman slept with him! “ yeh I’ll do the fuckin flick but you’ve gotta make me look good , get some young totty ta sit on my cock” I’m surprised she could find it? the Cunt looked like a beached whale!! , my wife actually laughed at that scene…..

      • He was in The Departed playing the usual hardman, but his Boston accent made him sound constipated most of the film.

      • Indeed it did LL 😂
        Mind you Russell Crowe in Robin Hood takes some beating or Connery in highlander! Classic

  6. No idea who he is,but he must be the only Cunt in the adverts who isn’t either a Chutney-ferret,a cripple or a Darkie.

    Fuck them.

  7. He played Ian Durys drug supplier “The sulphate strangler” in the film Sex and Drugs.
    He played a great character. Andy Sirkis did a fine Ian Dury. Now there was a fine musician and someone who had been dealt a crap hand but got on with life. Great music and words that mean something. Not like Taylor Shaft or Ginger gargoyle shearin.

    • The great late Ian Dury died on 2000 aged just 57.

      What a waste.

      Fantastic showman supported by the brilliant Blockheads. As you say made the best of a bad hand.

      Remember once driving on the A12 in Essex and saw a pink Rolls Royce which had a personal number plate which included the initials ID.

      As he was an Essex boy always wondered whether it was him.

      • Dury was a great entertainer – saw him in concert a couple of times in the 80s. Good singer and very funny with his random anecdotes.

        That said I remember one Christmas Day my parents bought me a single of his (old fashioned record players back in the late 70s, and it was called “Plaistow Patricia”

        I hadn’t heard of the song previously, so after Christmas dinner I put it on our record player in front of my parents, grandparents and a couple of relatives. Roughly 30 seconds later I ran to the record player and stopped the record before it had chance to get into its stride. The reason?

        The opening line went something like this “Arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks!”

        They don’t write songs like that anymore!

  8. I watched an episode of “Father Brown” last night. I’d read some of the stories by G.K. Chesterton years ago. I certainly didn’t remember last night’s story,however. It involved some Second World War decorated flying-ace returning from the dead years later. He went on to be shot,mistakenly,by his young daughter as he was climbing in through a window after some mysterious assignation. Apparently she didn’t recognise the shadowy figure climbing in because he was dressed as a woman. Turned out that the war hero was a tranny who’d been living as a woman for the missing years.
    Now to my point. Why do they have to bring perverts into everything? I’m no expert in the stories of G.K. Chesterton,but I’m amazed if he wrote a story where the poor,(misunderstood by his brutish,obviously right-wing family,) war hero was actually some kind of degenerate sex-offender.
    On a happier note, the daughter who,mistakenly,shot the rump-raider got off Scot-free. Good for her. I’d like to see as much common-sense used these days when it comes to Degenerates and Perverts attempting to enter where they’re not welcome. Wonder if I’d get off with it if I invited La Izzard to visit and then shot him/her after claiming that it attempted to invade my inner sanctum?…which is probably what the Pervert would have had on it’s mind anyhow,truth be told.

    There’d be a lot less Perverts “confused” about their sexuality if people were allowed to discharge both barrels in the direction of any person of indeterminate gender. Degenerate frippery would quickly go out of fashion,but at least the shot-gun industry would receive the boost that it so desperately needs .

    Fuck Off.

    • Florida has the right idea with their Castle doctrine law or ‘Stand you ground’ and I should think more of the so-called conservative states have similar practices. Over here you get the Tony Martin treatment, a true scandal still after all these years.

  9. Mr F above. Ah the great Gilbert Keith Chesterton.’The Apostle of Common Sense’. If he was only living at this hour. We might get some clarity of vision. Not a great fan of Father Brown. I (literally) lose the plot. Nor the novels either if I was honest. Though ‘The Man Who Was Thursday’ is a masterful work. But it’s his Collections of Essays which are such a healthy restorative from insanity of the present day. Especially ‘Orthodoxy’ ‘Heretics’ ‘What Is Wrong with the World’ ‘The Everlasting Man’. Recommended for tired, jaded Cunters.

  10. No, not a Cunt. Simply for playing the Cunt iso well in The Office. Played it as a Cunt I mean intelligently. ‘at’ David Brent aggressively, ‘Pillocking’ him as we say Up Norf. Have met loads of Cunts like that. The best bit in the Office. He was a good ‘Cunt’.

  11. Ricky Gervaise. Now there is a real life Cunt. A tweeted photo of him with his cat ‘how could someone hurt such a creature’ a tear in his eye, blub blub blub…what a cunt. No, I’ll turn it round this tme- a complete Arsehole.

Comments are closed.