Paul Burrell

Paul Burrell, Princess Diana’s former butler and, allegedly, her rock, is need of a cunting. He’s popped up in the Daily Fail, to offer his thoughts on Meghan’s strained relationship with her father, and other members of her family, notably, her gobshite half sister.

It baffles me no end why ANY media outlet would give this vile, obnoxious, self styled ‘royal expert’ both publicity and money to spout his opinions, yet its been happening for the past twenty years. The truth is, the Royal Family despise this motor mouthed little parasite. And it’s a sign of how much they hate him, that Harry didn’t bother to invite the little shit to his wedding. Of course, Burrell didn’t let an oversight like that stop him from turning up in Windsor, suited and booted. Happily, he failed to get past security, and had to watch from behind a barrier, like the rest of the hoy polloy. Honestly, this self-important prick has no shame.

The fact is, that while he may have know William and Harry quite well as children, he knows nothing about them as men. That means his ‘qualifications’ are out of date. He certainly knows as much about Meghan as I do, which is fuck all. But that hasn’t stopped him hawking his services around, particularly in the US, and making a mint out of his tenuous connection to the Royal Family.

Paul Burrell, you slimy little snail penis. Crawl back under your rock, you royal cunt!

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

53 thoughts on “Paul Burrell

  1. Didn’t they make this cunt sign a disclosure contract when he was employed by the Royal Household? This cunt has zero integrity.

  2. Paul Burrell is a grovelling kowtowing pathetic little man who is still hanging on and wants to be famous, despite his only claim to fame (Slapper Spencer) perishing over 20 years ago.

    Anything to get a mention in the media or to appear on TV. Often likes to become emotional and on cue, cry or make a complete prick of himself (as in the Bushtucker trial). A man who says “I think it is important to retain your dignity”, but does little to demonstrate this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngGf7uSNBD8

    Think Jimmy Carr sums him up perfectly.

      • Could be something he has on The Cunt and Cuntess of York?… Just saying….

        Burrell though is a complete cunt and the closest thing there is to a human slug… Time for a lorry load of salt, methinks….

    • Forgot to add that James Hewitt is a thick, ginger Cunt and it’s fucking lucky that he has never bred.

  3. I wonder how he thinks the Foxes V Man UTD game will go today?

    I don’t care about that or his opinion on it either.

    Irrelevant cunt.

  4. I’m no fan of the Royals but this cunt is the lowest of the low…the parasites parasite….

  5. Didn’t Dick Fiddler unmask this cunt as Willie Stroker? Time to come clean ,Willie.

    • I withdraw that allegation unreservedly… along with my doxing of Mr. Cream-Puff as Alan Bennett, Krav as Alan Sugar, and Mr. Cunt-Engine as the construction worker in The Village People..I now know that only one of these allegations is correct.

    • “Hot tears sparang into my eyes…
      And I couldn’t help but laugh”

      Irish Mirror sounds like part of a bad joke, possibly involving kneecapping and Will Self’s vagina-knee…
      Possibly feathers, too.

  6. Sorry to disappoint Cuntstable

    Dislike the Royal family with a passion (apart from Phillip who makes me laugh), and have a modicum of self respect and dignity, unlike Burrell. Even though currently without gainful employment would never work for our monarchy.

    Earlier this week nominated Prince William for a cunting.

    Detest everything to do with the the press and media and would certainly not go running to them for payment for a cheap and insignificant piece of garbage, even if I were in dire straits (not the popular beat combo)

    Other major differences being that as a heterosexual male (and not a faggot) I am married to a lady. A Japanese one. Think I am right in saying that PB is married to a bloke now? Twat.

    Slightly off topic, always wondered why Will Carling preferred Diana to his wife, Julia? Other than Diana was a princess obviously? Julia gorgeous and with fantastic tits (saw a photo of her once braless and wearing a see through dress). Unfortunately the photo no longer available for perusal.

    https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo/julia-carling-tv-presenter-november.html

    Off topic a bit- yesterday whilst watching the men’s 10m diving in the European Championships, the presented introduced Tom Daley (who she said we were lucky to have because he was on “maternity leave”). For fuck sake.

    • Good cover story. Say no more.
      The reference to Tom’s maternity leave was a gratuitous insult to a much loved shirt lifter.

        • Had a feeling that was coming Ruff Tuff.

          Just a tad predictable methinks.

          Off topic, getting fed up having to sign in every time. ☹️

          • Not protesteth-ing too much again are you Willie?

            Having to sign in every time will make a real man of you!

    • If people think Daley’s ‘maternity’ antics are hilarious, just wait until the inevitable ‘custody battle’ when Daley and ‘the wife’ split up… Because, rest assured, they fucking well will…

  7. Latest scare anyone? Pensions may not be paid if we ‘crash out’ (I like that term, very emotive eh?) of the EU. Didn’t get full details – it was on R4 while I was fucking about with something.
    That’s me fucked. I have stockpiled sandwiches, au pairs, bomb shelters against the civil unrest, and brie, but this is the final straw.
    Doomed, we’re all doomed.

      • Also Kenneth Williams’ “Hail, vermin, and cramp in the knees.” (Round the Horne)
        Aaaagh, feck, we’re overrun with vermin…
        Shut the door, they’re coming through the window

  8. The continued existence of Burrell performs one valuable service, at any rate. It disproves some of those Illuminati/Royal/Mason conspiracy theories: he’d have been inhumanely put down long ago if they’d been true!

    The greasy, lachrymose, probably thieving, handwringing slebsucking cunt. His head should be on a spike outside Buck House.

  9. Hmm. Thought this guy might have died by now. I had him crying in a mouldy bedsit in his underwear. So short of cash and dignity, he had to contemplate suicide with a butter knife. So desperate for a swift end to it all he didn’t even wipe off the marmalade first. And all to the background of jeremy kyle.
    Cunt.
    As for the royals, I have never really been a fan until the Islam thing prompted a call for all things British. Soon as the only letterboxes left are red they can fuck off too.
    Lizard cunts.
    Meghan markle? What the fuck is that?
    Double cunt.

  10. I find it amazing, and quite disturbing, that after all these years this creepy little weirdo is still making a living out of his tenuous links with a dead prostitute.
    It says as much about the audience as about him.
    All cunts who deserve each other.

  11. More colour and diversity cuntery in today’s news…
    Beyonce now shamelessly milking publicity about how one of her ancestors was a slave…
    Descended from a slave? So fucking what? Which one of them fucking isn’t?
    She’ll be ‘feeling their pain’ and ‘channeling their spirit’ naturally, the cunt…

    Oh, and there’s a (very crap looking) Superman prequel coming out… And (wait for it) General Zod’s grandmother is ‘misundesrtood’ ‘feisty’ and is (what else) as black as Newgate’s Knocker…. Fuck me ragged…

    • Hold on a minute, are they inferring that black ancestry determines criminality? That’s a bold move, even by hollywank standards.
      Can’t wait for all the cuntery that goes with that!

    • This fucking infuriates me. At the same time that this talentless bitch’s ancestors were slaves my ancestors were starving in a famine or working as children in mines and mills. And that is true for most of us outside the inbred parasitic gentry.

      • True, Cuntstable… My great grandmother worked all the hours god sent for next to fuck all in one of Manchester’s infamous matches factorys… Didn’t do her any good health wise either… But a rich daddy’s girl cunt like Beyonce wears her descendants plight like a fucking fashion accessory… She’s an immense fucking cunt…

    • Not sure Beyonce is totally happy with her black ancestry.
      Compare pics of her twenty years ago and now, completely different skin colour, no doubt she’s had skin whitening treatment.

      I’d always hoped she marry some bloke called Mr Castle….

      • My neighbour said “You’ve got a good suntan, been anywhere nice?”

        I said “I’ve just had a week away with some new friends at a town on Italy’s Adriatic coast.”

        “Rimini..?” he asked.

        “Not yet” I replied. “I haven’t known them very long”….

    • ” one of?” Takes two…..we can virtually guarantee one of her other ancestors was a slave owner. She’s plainly not full-blood Mandingo, and some of those plantation owners improved the stock whenever they could.

  12. Excellent JR.

    Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.

    • Pretty sure there’s a bouncy castle inside our local mosque.

      Would explain all the shoes left outside….

      • What do you call a Muslim woman with an opinion?
        Whatever you like, she’s already been stoned to death.

        • It’s literally mind blowing what Muslims put themselves through just so they can get 72 virgins in heaven.

          It would be a lot easier if they just became Catholic priests.

          • I’ve got a new Muslim neighbour. Seems decent bloke, keeps chickens just like me. Fuck me though his chickens, just like mine aren’t laying.

            Then yesterday we both came out to find an egg on the fence, we both piled out and tried to claim it.

            Anyway that was harder than I thought, Ali wasn’t for backing down so I said,

            Reet tell you what Ali let’s kick each other in the balls and the one that stays down the longest loses the egg’

            Ok Mr Cuntface great idea, so I says great Ali I’ll go first, I swear I did the full Jonny Wilkinson on him and as his body contorted and crumpled to the floor the last thing Ali heard was me saying ‘you can keep the fucking egg you paki bastard’.

          • I’ve got a new Muslim neighbour. Seems decent bloke, keeps chickens just like me. Fuck me though his chickens, just like mine aren’t laying.

            Then yesterday we both came out to find an egg on the fence, we both piled out and tried to claim it.

            Anyway that was harder than I thought, Ali wasn’t for backing down so I said,

            Reet tell you what Ali let’s kick each other in the balls and the one that stays down the longest loses the egg’

            Ok Mr Cuntface great idea, so I says great Ali I’ll go first, I swear I did the full Jonny Wilkinson on him and as his body contorted and crumpled to the floor the last thing Ali heard was me saying ‘you can keep the fucking egg you paki bastard’.

      • A refuse collector is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.

        He goes to one house where the bin hasn’t been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck, goes to the front door and knocks. There’s no answer.

        Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again – much harder.

        Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door.

        “Harro!” says the Chinese man.

        “Hello sir! Where’s ya bin?” asks the collector.

        “I bin on toiret” explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.

        Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.

        “No! No! Mate, where’s your dust bin?”

        “I dust been to toiret, I toll you!” says the Chinese man, still perplexed.

        “Listen,” says the collector. “You’re misunderstanding me. Where’s your wheelie bin?”

        “OK, OK” replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin. He then whispers in the collector’s ear.

        “I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife’s sista!”

        • Ha, nice one WS. Maybe bin man tell Chinese man, ” I won’t tell wifee where you wheelie wheelie bin, on condition you tightly wrap up Paul Burrell in a nasa duvet, & ship him off to Singapore as malfunctioning component part.

  13. Paul fucking Burrell, he needs the Stuart Lubbock treatment.

    Like you say Freddie it does indeed say as much about the audience that this fucking oxygen thieving cunt still gets publicity.

    I really wish he’d just fuck off, cunt.

    • Fucking brilliant, pissing myself here with the Lubbock gag. Death by bum fisting, what a way to go.

    • A sworn oath of silence, maybe, to her Majesty, at his trial, was his one way ticket out.

  14. Hard to believe this twat is still making good money out of talking bollocks about something that happened years ago. Seems to be a growing trend in our modern life. Washed up /out cunts trundled out to spread their”insight and wisdom” to a zoned out public. I mean look at the amount of total shite being spouted about Ant and Dec if Trump nuked Canada I doubt there would be so much media coverage. I wonder fellow counters if we have all slid into another timeline were cuntery rules.

Comments are closed.