Martin Lewis [2]

I desperately want to nominate Martin Lewis, the so-called fucking “money expert” on that cunty paper The Express.

Every bastard morning when I read this paper this cunty face is ALWAYS bragging on how to save money on every cunt of a thing, like he’s the second coming of Jesus Cunty Christ.

I don’t need to be reminded every fucking day on how to save my money from my low paid shitty cunt of a job!

Nominated by Happy Cunt

66 thoughts on “Martin Lewis [2]

    • It’s ironic that a blog which heaps so much hatred on other countries and other religions should be so touchy about one in particular…

      • Dachau blues those poor Jews
        Dachau blues, Dachau blues those poor Jews
        Still cryin’ ’bout the burnin’ back in World War Two’s
        One mad man six million lose
        Down in Dachau blues, down in Dachau blues
        The world can’t forget that misery
        ‘n the young ones now beggin’ the old ones please
        t’ stop bein’ madmen
        ‘fore they have t’ tell their children
        ’bout the burnin’s back in World War Three’s
        War One was balls ‘n powder ‘n blood ‘n snow
        War Two rained death ‘n showers ‘n skeletons
        Dancin’ ‘n screamin’ ‘n dyin’ in the ovens
        Cough ‘n smoke ‘n dyin’ by the dozens
        Down in Dachau blues
        Down in Dachau blues
        Sweet little children with doves on their shoulders
        Their eyes rolled back in ecstasy cryin’
        Please old man stop this misery
        They’re countin’ out the devil
        With two fingers on their hands
        Beggin’ the Lord don’t let the third one land
        On World War Three…

        (Captain Beefheart 1969)

      • The statement “To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize” is often attributed to Voltaire, the French Enlightenment writer, historian and philosopher.

        Possibly has some ring of truth.

      • Perhaps it’s the way you express it?

        Advocating in print that the POTUS be assassinated is not a great idea really, is it? Did you see the reaction that got with the number of likes on my response? There have been suggestions that you should be barred…

      • You say “A blog which” as if we are some kind monolithic blob or hive mind. There are a few cunters on here who have expressed anti – zionist views based on their own reasons and that’s fine.

        Seriously Fred, don’t just passive aggressively poo poo other people’s rebuttals when they are just trying to have a discussion, it’s like you’re trying to stifle debate by muddying the water. Not a sophisticated arguing technique at all.

        I for one think any people or state should be held to standards and although the Israelis are not perfect, they are a far cry from the Muslim brotherhood cunts who have essentially co-opted pan-Arab nationalism, applied it Palestine and made it about religion when it mostly isn’t a religious matter for most Israelis (if the religiosity polls are to be believed).

        What I think bugs a lot of people, including myself is that the Israelis in most cases are held to a much higher standard of behaviour than their peaceful counterparts. (double standard incidentally is one of the three D’s when determining whether criticism of Israel is anti-semitism or just anti-zionism). Rant over.

        • Precisely, bet we’d see things slightly differently if we were surrounded by a bunch of Islamist, autocratic Arab states gagging to wipe us off the map.

    • Corbyn will not rest until every last Jew is ousted from Jerusalem and the Palestinian flag is the ONLY flag to fly there.
      As a younger man Corbyn was an almost racial critic of the state of Israel.
      He has recruited even more anti-semetics around him over the years, and now labour is nothing less than an emergent Nazi aligned Party. ( please note, Merkel makes no noises against Corbyn )

      • Fred. I believe that all countries have a right to exist. My hatred of certain regimes, cultures or whatever is a result of bad politics and bad politicians.

        • Cpt. beefheart was ahead of his time but germany is in a state of disrepair

          TFW your entire purpose as a nation is to serve the Jews, Jews tell you to flood your country with brown people and take care of them like little retarded children, then the brown people start rioting against Jews and Jews tell you you must solve the problem I just can’t even factor a response both are cunts IMO

  1. I notice that new Star Wars cash-in is on the front of most papers this morning… But instead of having the film’s two stars – Mark Hammil and (the quite doable) Daisy Ridley – on the front page like the rest, the Grauniad has the box ticking black bloke and his relatives… What a surprise, eh?…

    • Apparently Prince Harry plays a cameo role as a stormtrooper.
      I guess he held onto that armband from The Queen Mother’s dressing-up box…

  2. My wife’s friend lent us the force awakens on DVD , I’ve started it 4 times and never got halfway into it before I’ve nodded off!!
    It should be freely available on the NHS for people suffering with insomnia……

    • Only ever watched one Star Wars film, the Phantom Menace. At the pictures about three years ago with my son who was about 9 at the time.

      To be honest apart from being pissed off at being relieved of about £10 for coke and popcorn could honestly not see what all the fuss was about.

      Love Sci-Fi but not Star Wars.

      • Never been able to get through more than 20 minutes of Star Wars. Complete waste of time – tedious, pretentious, unmitigated shite! On the other hand have enjoyed all 6 permutations/seasons of Star Trek…though most of the movies are admittedly crap.

  3. Never read his Express column (never read the Express) but his TV programme (the wife made me watch it once) is horrendous – the presentation pure excrement, phoney enthusiasm on stilts, patronising beyond words, “save money by buying your tabs in 20s instead of 10s”, that’s about the level. Sure the cunt knows his onions, but don’t let him anywhere near me, paleese!

  4. What REALLY fucks me off about Lewis and his ilk is the way they always tell you to switch energy suppliers. A waste of fucking time because the rates are up and down like a whores drawers and you spend as much or more in phone calls as you do on the bills

    • Precisely.

      Any “good deal” won’t stay good for very long, once loads of people cotton on to it, the costs’ll go up.

      It’s only done to suck punters in… They’re about all as bad as each other. Bit like politicos, really.

      • Exactly- energy pricing is a scam, the big energy companies are a criminal cartel, and the so called watchdog is a toothless corpse.

        • if the aim of switching sites is to get on the cheapest deal surely everyone by now would be on that deal?

  5. My sister in law has elevated this annoying cunt to some type of financial messiah!! Following his every utterance as if commanded by god himself, she has multiple accounts and moves them with the speed of a child playing draughts!!
    To be fair he knows his stuff and In the past I’ve followed some of his advice and it’s paid off …..
    so for me he’s actually been a helpful but annoying cunt……..

  6. I have to be honest, as infuriating as I find Lewis’ 100mph over-enthusiasm for saving even the most inconsequential of cash, some of the tips and advice on his website on more fundamental financial decisions have proven very useful indeed, particularly when dealing with cuntlord credit agencies,

    He is a cunt by virtue of the fact that his years of over-exposure on daytime TV have given him a sense of omnipotence; but other than being a pushy egotistical cunt, I can’t really muster a Full Metal Cunting for Martin Lewis.

    • Agree re: website – have often found it very useful. If the cunt just stuck to that, and the occasional appearance on ‘serious’ political programmes, my nose would not have been bothered by his existence.

      • Have you heard how often the Independent (ex newspaper) travel editor Simon Calder gets on BBC radio programmes? – anything to do with travel, even on the buses and up comes this arty farty sounding cunt who sounds as if he has the worst case of piles in medical history. You can picture him at home, all pains and pullovers. You hear even more of Simon Cunter than you do of Lewis

  7. Every night, I hear the honking get louder and louder, and the red lips of the clown get closer and closer….

  8. Fucking hell I can’t believe its the 13th already!, this month has been a big blur to me I haven’t even bought presents for my family yet. Truth be told I am a massive cunt I always wait until the last second and say I wonder what I’m gonna buy them this year and end up buying something stupid like gift cards or chocolates

    • I leave all that to the wife, and give her a pack of 20 Strongbow (gift wrapped!) on Xmas day for her trouble.

      You have my undying sympathy TS.

    • TitSlapper

      Haven’t guys always done this?

      When I worked in London, Xmas eve always finished lunchtime then straight up to Oxford St. for the rest of the day.

  9. Am with you tesb cant really get worked up regards lewis being a huge cunt like most nominations on here

  10. I see our American Chums are jumping up and down in good ole Alabama !!!
    The press reports 56% of blacks voted for the democrats!!!!!!!!!
    Now hold on a darn pickin moment just when did blacks get a vote in Alabama ?ffs as judge moore says ” it aint over yet ” ( yeah recount and republicans win you mean)
    Yankee Doodle Dandy cunts the lot of them !!!!!!

  11. Don’t think he is worthy of a full cunting. I believe when he sold MSE he gave half the proceeds to charity. He is passionate, if a bit OTT about saving people money. The cunting should be the Express.

    • Feel the same way CNR

      Think he is genuinely interested in helping people no matter how small the amounts involved.

      It would be very easy to fuck off and have a great time with £80m plus however he has decided to continue working despite clearly not needing the money.

      His enthusiasm can be irritating at times but do get the impression he is genuinely doing it for the right reasons.

    • Tend to agree with you CNR.

      Get the impression ML does what he does as he is genuinely interested in giving sound financial advice to those who need it most, even if the amounts can be relatively small.

      There are after all some complete financial fucking morons out there who think that borrowing money at an APR of over 1,400% seems like a good idea.

      Lets face it, most of us lucky enough to be worth £80m+ would not continue working so all credit to him for doing so.

  12. He is quite a useful cunt for tips on not getting rinsed by other cunts. A bigger tool on the same show is that mangina Phillip Schofield, he can shove Gordon the Gopher up his arse and fuck off back to the Broom Cupboard.

    • Hate Schofeld, one of the biggest cunts on television, if I had my way I would bring back the Colleseums and make him and Lineker fight to the death with only their bare hands and very large sex toys.

  13. Infinitely more interesting than Martin save ya pennies Lewis is tonight’s quislathon
    Hosted by Dominic Grieve…..
    Had a chuckle earlier one Tory rebels said “We’re doing it for our constituents” ?? Psss someone needs to tell Anna soubry…..
    If the amendment is carried parliament will get the say on the final deal? Mmm mm
    Knowing this will happen and the EU don’t want us to go what kind of deal will they offer us?
    A decent deal? Or
    A shit deal??
    I’m racking my brains on this…
    I’m gonna have a wild guess , I’m not a 100% by any means but it will be a shit one…….

    • A shit deal is a slam dunk. And there’s still another 15 months of these tortuous, spurious negotiations designed to edge us ever closer to a point where demoralised Brexiteers throw in the towel and their lot with their majority Remain colleagues, begging the EU to remain on present terms & conditions.

      Another 15 long months to plant the seeds of doubt in an increasingly unsure and gullible electorate, that anything less than staying put would be disasterous for their families, drip, drip, drip, Son Of Project Fear.

      And you can bank on them not having the bottle to leave on WTO rules – either that or they’ll manufacture some illusionary technicality to demonstrate why it couldn’t be feasible anyway…

      • If they pass that amendment tonight the EU know full well Parliament will never vote to leave and go to WTO rules, all they have to do is offer a shit deal that they know Parliament will reject! GAME OVER!
        Particularly odious bit of shit “ it would give us a chance to go back in try to renegotiate a better deal” said one traitor….FFS! What like poor old Oliver asking for more gruel??
        Excuse me mr Tusk could we please have some more?
        Great negotiating skills?
        It’s actually Called begging….

        • GAME OVER NOW, as far as I’m concerned Q. Suggest we pack our bags and go home to mother…

          • I hear you SB but I don’t write anything off till it’s conclusive!
            As the saying goes “ a week in politics is a long time” agreed it doesn’t look good but? ……

          • Genuinely admire your optimism Q, but 17 months is also a very long time in politics, with Brexit consistently going from bad to worse to absurd week after week. But then, my glass always was half empty.

            Now where did I put that sawn off shotgun? Oh silly me – had it in me mouth all along!

          • Sb here’s something that might interest you…
            My neighbours a professor in behavioural science and we’ve had many beers and conversations over the last 10 years
            He has explained this to me with regards to positivity….

            if something is out of your sphere of influence ie my friends a season ticket gooner who fuckin hates wenger and wants him gone, it’s actually affecting his life! So angry !! Been like it for 2 years , I’ve known him for 27 years and never seen him so down……

            Is it better to focus positively and think to the future when he does eventually go? Which of course will happen…….
            Or spend years focusing on the negatives which he has little to no control over and makes him feel like shit on a daily basis?

            Both options are open but the end result will be the same! Wenger goes….( eventually)

            Is it better to concentrate on what we have? What we enjoy? What makes us happy? For me ISAC! 😂
            Or what we haven’t got ? Etc etc …..

            of course leaving or not leaving the EU offers a different ending but is that decision in our sphere of real influence? Not for my money anyway! but the fight isn’t over till the corner chucks a yard of Turkish over the top rope…..And positive I shall remain…… 😎😎😎
            Even if as we all suspect we’ve been sold out I will be up for the next challenge to the EU…….
            Those Cunts will never put out my flame….. and it’s not gonna ruin my life either….

          • Thanks Q. You might be surprised to know that I fully concur with your professor’s viewpoint, despite the impression I may give in some of my posts on here. In fact I consciously work to prevent shit beyond my sphere of influence (eg: Brexit) from getting me down, though it’s not easy when you listen to as many current affairs programmes as I do.

            My next door neighbour became so sick and disillusioned by the Government’s handling of Brexit and the Remainer biased TV Media coverage that he stopped watching the news channels altogether to prevent himself going off his trolley!

            Maybe I should mention that unlike many who post on here I am one of those lucky cunts who was never knowingly or consciously effected by our membership of the EU one way or another. Our area is not noticeably blighted by immigration and my income and standard of living is not dependent on whether we’re in or out of the EU, as far as I can tell.

            But I do have plenty of relatives living ‘up North’ whose communities have been transformed out of all recognition by Blair’s treachery. Personally, during the Referendum, I was always more concerned about the EU’s unaccountability and the waste of £10billion+ a year net taxpayer’s money for the privilege of having Juncker et al take the fucking piss.

            As you say, “Is it better to concentrate on what we have? What we enjoy? What makes us happy? For me ISAC! Or what we haven’t got? Etc etc…” Quite.

            For me it’s ISAC too…on stilts!…done wonders for my mental health…

            Btw: Not surprised by appalling Commons vote this evening. So much for democracy! No-one can now be in any doubt that Brexit means Remain. Worse than Remain, in fact! My next ballot paper will be spoiled for sure.

            God bless ISAC and all who sail in her!

          • Totally agree SB ….
            just trying to explain what old clever bollocks next door told me , it’s a real shame when people get battered to the ground by circumstances beyond their control, my gooner mates really low with the whole arsenal thing, and I mean low, to me it’s fuckin crazy to let something like that dominate your life. On holiday this year he spent 90% of it on Twitter ranting!! , even when we all went out eating/ drinking his nose was buried in his phone !!
            That old cunt wenger will go when he’s good a ready……
            And my mate will have wasted 2/3 years of his life being angry!

          • And ISAC is fuckin ace!!
            It’s nice to know there’s some like minded individuals knocking about…..
            it’s a proper little comfort blanket 😂😂

          • Yes Q, know the type your gooner mate is precisely, and have been in his shoes myself to one degree or another, mostly in my teens. As you say, crazy to let stuff you have no control over to dominate your well being to such a detrimental extent!

            About 30 years ago me and a mate decided to give up smoking together. He spent the following 2 months or so ranting about all the inconsiderate cunts who were smoking wherever he went, blaming them for every setback in his quest to be free of the evil weed. I, on the other hand, tried to accept the world as it was and concentrated on tackling my inner demons and negativity. Guess which one of us was successful…?

            Have a nice day – don’t let the Brexit blues bite!…

      • Only hope…and it’s an outside chance, is that Berlaymont is laid permanently low by a killer disease of sci-fi proportions (although some of them, remaining nameless, look as if they’re already into the final lap of syphillis, ranting, drooling and spitting all over the place), or a heavily – armed firing squad.
        Same goes for Wetminster…

  14. As with others, I can’t get fired up over Martin Lewis. After all he does give advice to the not-so-financial savvy to avoid being cunted themselves by unscrupulous weasels, so fair play to the man.

    Now Phillip Schofield is a different kettle of haddock altogether. A nasty , indiscreet dried semen stain on Holly Willoughby’s bra-strap and a prissy little cunt to boot.

    I bet when he interviewed Prince Phillip recently that he must of thought Schofield was a copper-plated cunt who should have been put through a woodchipper and then fed to Brenda’s corgis.

  15. if the aim of switching sites is to get on the cheapest deal surely everyone by now would be on that deal?

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