eBay [2]

A two part nomination for eBay and some of the illiterate intransigent cunts who buy stuff on it.

I’ve been on eBay for about 12 years ever since I moved house and had a clear out. On the whole eBay buyers are OK, but once in a while you get a fucking idiot. For example, the cunt in Jockland who claimed the bracelet see bought wasn’t correctly described – it was – and didn’t fit her fat podgy wrist. Not her fault of course.

For example, the bloke who bought a book of me, failed to pay or answer emails and then sent me a string of abuse after I raised a non-payment dispute. My fault of course, not his for not paying after he’d had several reminders and an invoice!

Or the one I had the other day who bought a roman blind off me and then complained it was the wrong size because she didn’t read it properly and took the width as length and vice versa. My fault of course because I only stated the dimensions in bold type in two different places in the listing.

That’s my stage one cunting. Now we move on to stage two – eBay themselves!

I got negative feedback from the last cunt with the blind so I try to leave her negative feedback. This seems reasonable to me as the error was entirely her fault. Guess what? eBay don’t allow sellers to leave negative feedback for buyers. Only positive feedback is allowed ffs!

So – no right of reply, no mechanism for removing inaccurate or malicious feedback comments, and no way to leave negative feedback for a crap buyer.

eBay, you are a bunch solid gold, grade A, greedy, intransigent, unhelpful, biased, up your own arse cunts. And some of your buyers are fucking illiterate, not my fault, rude, self fucking righteous arseholes.

There. I feel better now.

Nominated by Chas C

62 thoughts on “eBay [2]

  1. I don’t use e-bay, they blocked my account (never sold anything, just bought) and getting it reactivated is a fucking nightmare.

    So fuck ’em,, I use Amazon.

    • Amazon selling fees approximately double those of eBay. Also, you can only sell items on Amazon if they have an exact match in their limited database. For payment on Amazon you often have to wait up to 2 weeks, whereas with eBay/PayPal it’s usually instantaneous. There are pros and cons with both systems, but worth persevering with, imo, if you’ve got a lot of saleable stuff to shift.

  2. My sister in law is an e-bay addict, and will sell anything on e-bay. Ive seen her scratching around just trying to find something she can hawk.

    She should put her cunt on….!

  3. The 10% fees are what boil my piss, and on the postage costs as well!. Used to be about 3% I think. Sadly, as far as I can see, it’s still the best way of getting rid of the shite you no longer need, when you have no idea what its actually worth so, the cunts ramped it up just because they knew the could get away with ripping people off.

    • Yeah – charging commission on postage is taking the piss. I get that cunts used to sell for 99p plus £10 postage to get around it, but surely there was a better way. And they insist you use PayPal who charge you on the postage too. PayPal fair enough – t’s a money transfer – but eBay selling fees on postage. Fuck off!

      And then there’s the cunts that list at 99p and when it doesn’t bid up they renege on the deal. Cunts…

      • Agree re: postage Dio. But hard to devise a workable system not open to seller abuse. Definitely deters me from selling abroad – postage already high without extra 10% + PayPal 4% fees on top!

  4. I can’t fault it for buying and selling vintage car parts and watches.

    I have made an unexpected and tidy sum selling some secondhand classic car parts. I also rounded up a few hundred old stock bricks lying around the grounds of my recently acquired estate, put them up for sale on EBay and witnessed a bidding frenzy.

    360 notes for some shitty old bricks – yoinks!!

  5. e-bay is way overdue this mega cunting, the repetitive listings boil my piss adding another page to a simple search by duplicate or triplicate listings of the same item by the same fucking seller!
    I sold a water bowser/ tank on e-bay once, a large fuck off blue tank that bolts to a trailer even had pictures of said fuck off tank in the listing.
    The top 3 winning bidder contacted me with the following question “is it an eye or hook connection” Neither you daft fucks it is a tank that goes on a trailer not a fucking trailer!
    I blame mobile internet myself, all the nomads and strays have access to the internet.

  6. Have to admit I do miss the good old days when all I had to do to sell my treasured possessions or junk alike was pop down the local secondhand shop and get ripped off by the cunt behind the counter who’d give me less than half what I could have sold it for on eBay had it then existed. Ah, simpler times.

    Better still – if for example it was an LP – the cunt behind the counter (recognising it as a valuable collectors item) could give me a quid and sell it for a grand, cos in common with most other dopey non-expert cunts I probably wouldn’t have known an original Bowie UK Mercury Man Who Sold The World ‘dress cover’ from a worthless ’80s repress, or a 1st press gold label Please Please Me with 1G/1R stampers in EX+ condition from the bunghole in my shafted bottom.

      • My auntie left me the first four original Stones UK albums in mono (Decca labels, first pressings) and also The Beatles ‘White Album’ on white vinyl (with Apple labels, rarer than the Capitol ones) two years ago… We had a good Christmas that year… People will always pay silly money for vinyl from the old days…

  7. I avoid selling on ebay if I can, because there are some supreme spakkers and really thick scum out there… The sort of cunts that are told that a DVD is NTSC (Region 1), yet the cunts still buy it and then kick off when it ‘won’t play’ or ‘doesn’t work’ on their crappy bogstandard DVD player…. The same sort of knobheads willl also order a ‘pre-order’ item (ie: one that is awaiting release), yet they start all their shit when the thing ‘hasn’t arrived’ and they’ve been ‘ripped off’… These cunts are also all over Amazon and they should stick to being low IQ scum who frequent ‘Maccy Dees’ instead of being mongs and a pain in the arse online to decent people and reputable retailers and businesses…

  8. I have stuff I want to get rid of but I can’t be fucking arsed taking photos and pissing about with postage. So I’ll probably just take it to the tip. Can’t be arsed with car boot sales neither. Full of cheapskate cunts.

  9. All those celebrislags now bleating about nasty men in Hollywood are making me sick… Every cunt from Reese Witherspoon to Jennifer Lawrence (there’s a fucking surprise, eh?) and Rose ‘Warrington was a blast’ McGowan and some Game of Thrones cunt is jumping on the bandwagon in the wake of the Weinstein scandal… Thing is, you can bet that 99.9% agreed of their own accord to suck executive knob and do the casting couch in order to further their careers… And what I hate about these slappers is that when the shit hit the fan about Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, and Bill Cosby these trollops did and said nothing… No supportive messages for (real) victims, no attempt to highlight sexual abuse and bring longstanding pervs and p@edos to justice… Yet they smell money and publicity in the wake of Weinstein, so they’re all out of the woodwork on this one… Conclusive proof that all this ‘sisters together’ and ‘feminism’ is pure bollocks… It’s all about them and what they can get…. And Emma Thompson is a massive, lying, hypocritical, ‘in the know’ fucking bitch of a cunt…..

      • The movie slags are the tip of the iceberg on this one… Expect all the pop tarts to come out with the same ‘I felt degraded when I freely sucked some record exec cock and yet I use sex to sell myself at every opportunity’ from cunts like Chickboy Gaga, Kunty Perry, Miley Shagbag, Nikki Minj, Rita Oral, and the walking mackerel stinking snatch that is Madogga, very soon….

        I dare say Lily Mong will cash in on this phenomenon too…

        • Oh, and the media are cunts and all… Some Hollywood slut cries foul/wolf/rape and they’re all over it… Some poor girl gets groomed and done over by those peaceful paki filth and they don’t give a fuck…

          • I love the slut from the pussycat dolls gone to press claiming they were handed around and prostitutes. And i always thought they got where they did cause the could sing.

            Hate to be the cunt who had to do Adele.

    • Oh and the fact only Weinstain is in the frame cos he has lost his supposed power, what about all the others if it’s endemic throughout Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general. Like I said before the self centered cunts won’t risk their pathetic “career” in showbiz to blow the whistle in case the accused drops them in it and they lose their big contracts. Trouble is if nobody stands up to the cunts in charge cos they abuse their power then it will never change and that’s in all walks of life.

      • How depressing must it be for a sex addict like Harvey Weinstein to realize that he’s probably never going to get another shag? All the women in the world have ganged up against him. Even Las Vegas whores would think twice. Pretty soon his only chance of scoring may be if Kravdarth agrees to give him a wank.

  10. I find Ebay reflects much of society…. mostly good people involved along with the socially inadequate and mega cunts. My first purchase was a football shirt size medium and I received a kids size. Didn’t answer my mails and I gave up. Another seller claimed to be the official Ebay Superdry seller and then sent me cheap fake tat from the back of a garage in Peckham. I bought some football socks (£2.50) and didn’t receive them. I mailed many times but no response. After 3 weeks of no reply (allowing for holiday but I’d expect them to advise if they’re away) I raised a dispute. Within 10 minutes I received a mail calling me a cunt for raising a dispute over a £2.50 item. How about sending me the item I paid for 3 weeks ago you cunt ?. Lastly I’ve been constantly outbid (by the seller) and lost the auction. They then mail you to say the buyer has dropped out would I like to buy the item for the winning bid ?…. Fuck off.

  11. Great cunting, Chas.

    I’ve only ever bought on eBay; with respect to selling what puts me off is exactly what you state – the inability of eBay to look after sellers and give them fair recourse on -ve feedback etc.

    I’ve been using since 2001 and on the whole, a pretty good experience. As with every marketplace, some sellers have been chrome-plated cunts but unlike most things in life, eBay hasn’t really conspired to give me a shit deal as a punter. Although, genuine bargains are much rarer now than in the early days – probably a result of everyone being more savvy all around, I suspect.

    I do wish that bald, bearded bespectacled fucker would piss off from the front page, though. Sick and tired of seeing that cunt’s punchable mug each time I visit.

    • Fair comment TECB. Rule is: buyer beware, use common sense, and if something looks to good to true it probably is.

      Sellers are terrified of negative feedback, so majority try to be reasonable & honest. But you’d have to be living in Disneyland not to expect a shitbag transaction now and again – buyer or seller.

      Sellers particularly vulnerable. As in every area of life, there’s an infinite quantity of stupid buyer cunts out there…

  12. Wot no song abarrt Ebay Chas….or is there one? Yours Truly gets particularly arsed orf aboit Trip Advisor. All the good feedback is fake and it is always good because, quell surprise, the cunting site only allows good feedback. Was looking for a nice liittle cottage for an autumn stay in Canada (why? autumn leaves, Niagara Falls, Vancouver and the gateway to the North Pole ect) but me old cunt sniffer smelt a rat at the hyperbole orf all the feedback. Immediately tried to leave me own more balanced judgements aboit one French Canadien merde hole and was put into moderation (happily used to that with this effing site). Then essayed a glowing encomium aboit self same merde hole which went straight in. Bugger that.
    Bit orf a brainwave, delete key words such as “shite”, “pubic hairs” and “camp frog cooking” and resort to a spot orf irony. Made a list orf words and expressions that the site comments section had allowed, mixed them up to give the opposite meaning and bob’s yer uncle, straight in.
    Algorithms unable to tumble irony you see. Who said cunters are not activists?

  13. I would like to nominate fat cunts for a cunting.  I have just been for a run along the seafront where I endeavour to dislocate my kneecaps, and coming towards me were two fat cunts walking side by side, so wide they blocked the whole pavement, and one of them would have to move aside to let me pass.  Well as I got near them it became obvious they were not gonna let me pass and I would have to pass them on the road.  Instant decision, head down, shoulders braced, I just ran right at them, barged through and just kept running.  So fucking ignorant.  Because of the blub,  my impact was cushioned and I didn’t hurt myself.

    Back home, it got me thinking.  Went to my daughters Graduation couple of months ago, probably saw 150 students graduate.  Not one of them was a fat cunt.  How many fat cunts do you see on University Challenge.  None.  Mastermind.  None.

    How many fat cunts on Question Time?  Fucking loads of them asking if any knows how to double their benefits.
    Go into McDonald’s at 3pm on any given Saturday and it’s a blubber fest of poly saturated ogres with an average IQ in the mid 70s passing their worldly knowledge on to their kids.

    I’ve always thought being a dietician is the easiest job in the world.  When each patient comes through the door, all you have to say is “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

    Cunts.

    • The Brits get touted by a research survey every now and then as being the most obese in Europe(Brexit, obviously) but the Americans have it down to a fine art. I went over once and my old man is a bit of a porker admittedly but some of these salad dodgers made him look like Mo Farrah minus the sun tan. Large portions doesn’t do it justice, a pizza was the size of a car tyre and milkshakes were just a bottomless pit.

      • I was there in 1981 and had a similar experience. My dad was 6′ 1″ and overweight by our standards, but compared to half the yanks he looked like a slim fucking midget!

    • I’m a fat cunt. Just the two degrees though (courtesy of Maggie RIP) and actually in “proper” subjects (science and everything).

      The reason I’m a fat cunt is because I live a sedentary life (Inc. job) eat too much shite and drink like a fish.

      There are fat cunts who do nowt and pay nowt into the system and then there’s fat cunts like me propping it up.

      As I work for myself I’m never ill and have never suffered from any faux mental affliction (which seems profligate in my cards-in colleagues). Not on any tablets for blood pressure, cholesterol and all that shite when my skinny colleagues eat them like smarties.

      You must’ve been blocked by the thick ones cos us intelligent fat cunts are aware of our surroundings and have manners enough to move the fuck out of the way! 😀

      I agree all fat people are cunts and I’m one of the biggest cunts you’ll ever meet – but not in that sense me auld China! 😉

  14. Yes a thoroughly deserved cunting if there ever was one, and yes ebay themselves primarily but also some users who piss me off just as much just as Chas C writes.
    Firstly ebay themselves, i think they got to a point a few years ago where they just thought , right!! we’ve got most of the planet hooked now so lets take the piss and up the percentage take on each sale to 10%, i mean what are they all going to do about it? go somewhere else? there is nowhere else and these fucking cunts knew it. Then came the postage and packing scam where they started to take a cut of that too. The excuse for this was they were trying to encourage people to offer free p & p. Just who the fuck were they trying to kid?
    i mean any fucking retard on the planet could see that either way the cunts still get their 10%. Sheer unashamed fucking greedy stinking bastards.
    As for some of ebays users i sometimes fucking despair. It beggars belief how some of these mongs with such limited intelligence actually have the ability to log on and use a keyboard to ask me the most ridiculous questions about an item i’m selling. Time after time it is crystal clear that said mongs have simply just looked at the pictures before asking their stupid question, without even taking a glance at the description but then again they probably can’t even read for fucks sake.
    I use ebay a lot to sell motorcycle parts as a bit of a hobby/sideline and to be honest probably couldn’t have made the few extra quid without these cunts but i also fucking hate piss takers and these fucking cunts are no exception.

  15. So playboy gets its first transgender playmate.Hefner will be rolling in his grave if he is in it yet.I doubt it is a coincidence they waited until just after he died.Playboy has been irrelevant for years and this will hasten its demise.Would loved to have been at the board meeting it was approved and asked who is this for ?Our lefty enemies no as they will never buy a copy and not for your target demographic who want to see women not trannies although why anyone would buy playbpy now the internet is here I have no idea.

  16. My present grievance against E-Bay (apart from the courier companies who clearly delight in playing football with anything I purchase) are their time estimates. Presently i am awaiting a parcel from Germany. The package has been posted by the seller International Standard thus snail mail. That would not matter but E Bay who obviously have no idea when It will arrive filled me with hope by estimating delivery any time within a ten day period. It didn’t and another week has passed since the latest date of their estimate. Will I ever receive what I paid for or will it arrive tomorrow or perhaps it has yet to leave Deutchland?

  17. Oh for fuck’s sake. Just got in, glass of vino de collapso in hand, just about to tuck into a tidy lasagne and I make the mistake of putting the box on.

    O’course it defaults to ABBC1 and so I’m treated the opening of Cuntstion Time.

    Usual mix of no-marks and libbos.

    First up the Wankstain saga. Floor opens to the raspberry woman (how very box ticking) who is LibDum president who claims that the “#metoo” hash tag (that I ridiculed in the week as being trite at the very least) has proven the extent of the problem.

    Well let me tell you now, and let me make myself clear: FUCK OFF!!!

    All it proves is that there’s some nameless cunt at the end of a mobile phone, wishing to be part of something, anything to help fill that tiny void they call a life and to associate as though friends with the likes of Angelina Jolie, et. al.

    Baroness Stuffyknickers please understand that the hash tag “#metoo” proves only one thing, that there’s a lot of folk out there with too much fucking time on their hands which would be better served doing a fucking day’s work like the 13hr shift I’ve just pulled!

    Oh and by (virtue signalling) stating that your daughter tweeted “#metoo” means that a) she thought it was a tweet about liking Xmas, b) was offended at the sexism of some random bloke holding the door open as he left a shop as she entered it! Oh the humanity!

    Fuck you Baroness Brint and your virtue signalling.

    Fuck you Cunstion Time and your lack of a non-libbo, group think view (there’s a conny on there but the cunts won’t let him speak – constantly interrupted by some gob shite woman from Wigan – or to answer a cunt question which Dimbleby stifles if it’s an anti-libbo or pro Brexit question).

    And fuck you ABBC you truly are anti-British and anti common fucking sense. W1A doesn’t even come close to your cuntitude!

  18. Quick cunting for Question Time. Why o why do we have to have the obligatory Transfuckedup on the show every fucking week now. Why not just fill the whole fuckin audience out with em and give us all a free telly brick.

  19. Still anticipating the Playboy Transgender Paraplegic centrefold. Call me a nostalgic old cunt but the aroma orf wanked orn 130gsm glossy magazine paper takes me straight back to me youth, long gorn. A sticky keyboard don’t hold a candle to it.

    • how bout when you drop the magazine on your cock and you get a papercut still think magazines are better? stuck together pages from natures glue isn’t too good either…

      Playboy obviously wanted to do this for awhile they aren’t selling and alot of hetero’s are turning bisexual so they do this tranny special to get people talking

  20. Time that fat clueless coke head cunt paul merson got a cunting. This dilusional alcoholic smackhead somehow has a job for sky even though he has little to no knowledge on football. He obviously gives whoever employs these simpleton pundits a massive blowjob every day because there’s no other reason to it. He should just fuck off back under his rock snorting 30 lines of coke and drinking himself into oblivion and everyone can forget this cuntface ever existed, we should get sky for free if we have watch this delinquent.

    • It was the fat blubbering cunt known as ‘Merse’ who helped start the trend of grown men crying on television, the softarsed little shithouse… Merson has always been a cunt… He spent one England away trip flicking his own spit into a young woman’s hair in a hotel bar when her back was turned… England captain, Bryan Robson, took Merson out and twatted the little Harsenal shit… Nice one, Robbo…

        • I think someone should bray that cunt Robson and be given a knighthood!

          I’m referring to our “favourite fisherman”, Robson fucking Green of course.

          Maybe they could get a hold of his old mate Jerome, put the cunts on a pedalo in shark infested waters and torpedo the cunts.

          Give the fish a chance to get their own back after all, I can’t get the time back from when I had to endure their presence on my mums telly screen as a lad.

  21. I payed a 100 notes on eBay for Genesis vinyl Trespass on the pink charisma label. When it came out in 1970 I payed £1.50 for it. Mrs Fistula would kill me if she found out, so please keep quite about it.

    • Fear not Fenton, your secret is safe with me. Mrs Baker still not twigged I paid £240 for Amon Duul II Phallus Dei with DayGlo sleeve on UK Liberty.

      • Trepass is a pretty good genesis album I don’t blame you for buying it twice Fenton and Amon Duul II is a good krautrock/instrumental band Yeti was a really good album too…

  22. I would like to nominate the cunts who give storms names. At the moment Brain is blowing, well good for him. Also was utter daft cunt thinks up storm genders, the first storm of the year will be female and will be named ‘Aileen’ and we are told the gender of the first storm alternates each year.
    I see in the list we will soon have a storm named Paul and Winifred, for fucks sake.
    A storm is wind and rain sometimes with snow or sleet, it is not a male or female and the only name I ever give them is something on the lines of when I am blown about and drenched is you bastard.

    • The cunts will be screaming islamaphobia that there is no storm Abdul etc and the BBC Weather will be the driving force in appeasing the cunts.

      • They’d crash a van into Broadcasting House if the storm naming cunts called one Mohammed or Allah, unless it blew some civilised, democratic country away of course.

  23. On the subject of eBay, has anyone else noticed the amount of sellers on the .de site that don’t seem to provide shipping to GB?

    I went on browsing for some old school car parts and for all I found a few bits n pieces, none quoted GB shipping.

    Is bay shafting them for GB posting or something?

    • Postage costs from abroad high + 10% eBay fee on top could render certain items uneconomical to send. I sometimes post abroad and it can be double cost within UK, especially if Signed For service is used.

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