Monarch Airlines


It was rumoured that Monarch was about to fold but this has been pooh-pooed by Monarch saying they’re fine but have gone through a difficult period in the travel industry due to terrorist attacks, brexit and the plummeting pound.

I would like to cunt Monarch Airlines, not for being a shite airline – which they are – but because the last two points of their “lack of profits” excuse above are completely untrue and unrelated to their shit business model.

I will however accept that the number of people travelling may have been affected by terrorist atrocities caused by “peaceful” cunts.

Nominated by: Rebel without a Cunt!

Monarch – first they keep me fucking about wondering whether I had a flight home at the end of last week and then, to top it all off – they allow some dopy cunt of a woman to sit holding a bloody great suitcase on her lap for the whole 4 hour flight. Hit an air pocket and it would have brained some poor sod; if there’d been an emergency she was causing an obstruction.

The rules are there for a reason. Not only is this dangerous, but said bag contravened their size requirements. She refused to put it in the overhead locker when asked so the dozy fucking cabin steward let her sit holding it. Much as I despise Ryanair, she’d never have got the fucking thing on board in the first lace!

If this is the standard of people they employ and the way they uphold safety regs to prevent endangering life, they fucking deserve to go bust!

Useless cunts!

Nominated by: Dioclese

54 thoughts on “Monarch Airlines

  1. I flew into Istanbul the other week on my way to Egypt with Turkish Airlines. The plane lands and comes to a stop on the tarmac. A good 30% of the dozy fuckers onboard get out of their seats and start to unload the overhead bins. An announcement by the cabin crew, “Sit back down as we have not come arrived at out designated parking spot yet”. All the dozy standy upy cunts take no notice. Second announcement, “Sit back down or we will not be able to proceed” Still no response from the zombies standing in the aisle. A third announcement, this time from the first officer along a now familiar vein and with the predictable response, i.e. fuck all. 5 minutes pass and the zombies are becoming agitated. The pilot captiulates and taxis the rest of the way to the airbridge with the zombies still standing in the aisle. Turks, thick as fuck zombie cunts. Turkish Airlines, fucking crap. The best airline in Europe? Since when has Turkey been in Europe? Cunts.

  2. Monarch airlines just a few pounds cheaper then virgin airlines but still the same completely overpriced and absolute shite customer service.

    The only benefit of monarch airlines is you won’t have Richard Branson dressing in drag and acting like a stupid bellend serving you coffee or tea

    • I flew Virgin Atlantic last year and it was wank. I got premium economy thinking it would be better as it was a longish flight but the upgrade from economy is minimal and certainly not worth the money. Anyway, I was trying to get some kip without any success and the trolley dolly comes round offerings drinks. In my bleary eyed and half conscious state I ordered a G&T and shoot me but I forgot to say please. Fuck me sideways the trolly dolly nearly shit herself so I deliberately didn’t thank her either just to piss the bitch off more.

      Later in the flights, still trying to get some kip around she comes again. I pretend to be sleeping and overhear her slagging me off to the passengers around me! ” You drew the short straw and had to sit next to HIM. Never mind, here are two drinks to make up for it. Such a rude man, etc. etc.” What a cunt. So when I was leaving the plane I made an obsequious show of thanking her profusely for the excellent service and assured her I would be letting old Dikkie know what I thought about it all. She looked well biscuit arsed.

      Anyway, moral of the tale avoid Virgin Atlantic.

      • Interesting story sounds alot like my same experiences with bitchy stewardesses. To be fair monarch has a good record when it comes to punctual arrival times and very little accidents.

        Virgin on the other hand are overpriced cunts ,your right you can’t get a decent mini from them without a cock eyed stare or a short lecture in how much alcohol I’m allowed to drink on a 2hr flight.

        Its like “Please you dumb cunt I’m getting a few thimbles full of vodka not going on a two week bender here”

  3. I think I could quite happily never get on a plain again,i can see inconsiderate,rude foriegners here now and I can have shitt food,watch stray cats and dogs all without having to get on a plane….talking of which I see the latest shit stain immigrant kids coming over from Calais may be over 17……theres a fucking surprise migrants lying to get into the uk who would have guessed…..the wankers who thought this idea up need a mega cunting

  4. A recap of a previous post, but it needs doing… The so-called ‘Children of Calais’ and their cheerleaders are cunts…

    The ‘vulnerable children’ let into Croydon… How convenient that none of them have any paperwork, ID, or age records… If those smirking cat that’s got the cream wogs are scared children then I’m a Scouser… Just like Germany, this is a time bomb waiting to go off… I wonder what Lily Mong and all the other snowflake cunts will say when one of their ‘children’ commits rape or a terrorist act?…. Because they will…

    Also notice that there will be no young women, or girls coming to Croydon… They will all be young men, guaranteed… May and Rudd have already proved that they are pro-muslim cunts and – like their predecessors and those BBC scum – they think nothing of betraying the British people and putting them in danger… ‘Vulnerable children?…’ Yeah, fucking look it, don’t they?… Brave new Britain. my arse… Brexit or no Brexit, this country is a caliphate in the making….

    Also, it turns out that Lily The Mong’s precious ‘child’ (the one the ugly tuneless spazbag ‘apologised’ to on ‘our’ behalf!) is the son of a barbaric Islamist savage who used to do dirty deeds for an Afghan warlord… Of course daddy has been in the UK for years claiming benefits, and now his filthy offspring will be joining him in the welfare free for all… Nice one, Lily.. Go and kill yourself, you total fucking mong….

    • This needs cunting time and time again although I fear Norman et al are preaching to the converted.
      The Lily Mongs of this world see “children” of any age as worthy of help. They must be laughing their (dropped) bollocks off at her and cunts like her.
      Shed a few tears, tell a sob story and it’s swallowed hook,line and sinker by these lefty anti british bastards.
      Now that it transpires the little cunt has a murderous father will any of the mongs change their minds. No, of course not. They have empathy for anybody apart from the cunts in this country who have to put up with these “children” and their rapeugee families.
      As Norman says it’s a dot on the card that one of these cunts will commit some crime – probably sexual assault of some kind – and where will Lily Mong be then. Safe in her own home which will be clear of rapeugees despite her saying she would “100% consider” taking some in.

    • Why aren’t the parents of these “children” getting charged with neglect ? When war comes to town you don’t do a runner and tell the kids ,I’ll see you when you get there . who would leave their children behind unless you are a fuckng cowardly piece of shite . so if these “children really do have parents already in the UK ,lets reunite them and lock the cunts up.
      Can you imagine going on a package holiday with Thomson’s and said to the kids that if they want to come they’d better start walking……….maybe they’d get away with it if they were called Ngolo McCann………

  5. I’ve said it before , how the fuck does a “child” make it to Calais all the way from Afghanistan ? . I’d call myself a fit cunt ,i used to run 10k a day ( until i got my head fixed ) and have done the West Highland Way twice but you look at a map of the world and think ,no fucking way does a “child” make it that far without some kind of support or orders…..
    On al Jazeera last night there was some Aussie tart crying about the rapeugees stuck on an island who are commiting suicide because the Australian government wont let them in and is laying the blame for the self harming cunts on the
    I am finding it hard to comprehend why lefty cunts think it’s alright for any cunt with no ID or history to be able to settle where they want . you really don’t have to be Einstein to get that it’s fucking illegal……

  6. Amber Rudd is a spineless cunt… Good idea to get UK companies to go on record about their foreign workers (aka cheap labour), but backs down instantly when the snowflakes and leftie cunts cry ‘racist!’… She is now letting in grown men from the woglands and ignoring the warning signals from Cologne and Paris… One (probably more) of these ‘children’ will either rape or kill someone, and the BBC, Rudd, May and the Mayor of Londonistan, ‘Citizen’ Khan, will have to explain it away… This is going to be both a tragedy and a farce…

    • As far as Lily Mong is concerned, all publicity is good publicity… In a year’s time she will get her horror show spazmo mug on the front of the papers yet again.. This time by ‘apologising’ and ‘crying’ for someone who has been assaulted or killed by one of her lovely ‘children…’

      So, the mong wins either way…The fucking spaz faced cunt…

      • She’d never apologise if one of her “children” did something wrong, Norman. It would be our fault for most doing enough to “understand” and “empathise”
        Anyhow,I wouldn’t let any of the bastards in,no matter what age they were. They are mainland Europes’ responsibility,not ours. So much for taking back control of our borders, eh.

        • I would laugh my cock off if it all turned out to be a ruse. Amber Rudd lets the cunts in, just to shut the whining frogs and lefty lovey cunts up. Then puts the cunts on a monarch charter plane back to which ever East African shit hole they came from, where they also have family. Job done, nice one, now fuck off.

          Can’t see it though.

      • Of course old mong features is trying to play it down now by saying she is being ‘abused’ for ‘showing compassion’ and personally feeling sorry for a child who was suffering… Well….

        1) Mong took it on herself to ‘apologise’ on behalf of the entire UK… Such is her arrogance and self importance…

        2) Blubbing for the TV cameras is not showing compassion.. It is getting free publicity (and being a cunt)…

        3) What suffering? The little son of a terrorist shitstick looked pretty well to me…

        4) What child? I never saw Mong talking to a little kiddie ravaged by war…

        Jog on and fuck off, you talentless, tiltless mong….

        • All of Lily Allen’s so called “hit records” are only reviewed by femitards,dykes and nme/melody maker type poofs. How she has A+ reviews is beyond me

          Any decent reviewer who loves music would laugh off her music as parody or satire. Even mark e. smith’s stupid unitelligible rants are more amusing and thought provoking then anything Lily Mong can come up with

          • At least Smith is intelligent and is a dry, funny bastard… He should have been a stand-up comic instead of a singer, and I’m not joking….

            Mong makes out she is all ‘street’ when she was brought up middle class with a (cunt of a) dad which opened doors and got spazmo noticed by the muso-wank cunts at the NME…

          • Honestly never liked Smith since he said in an interview that people who like porn are sick deviants . i don’t know if he meant it , but i was young and impressionable and thought fuck you ,you ugly cunt ……….

          • He’s right though porn isn’t healthy in the slightest.

            I’m not saying I don’t watch it either but the effect porn has on the brain can be debilitating. In fact watching it can only lead to darker genres of porn.

            Whats admirable about Mark E Smith and the fall is Mark decided that he was a horrible shite vocalist but regardless of that fact.

            He is going to release more albums than the beatles and stones put together…. That is fucking madman type stuff right there mates

          • What do you mean by darker genres of porn ? If you your talking interracial lesbians licking arseholes, well I’m already down that road……..PS.wearing stockings….always stockings………..

  7. The sexual assaults that happened in Cologne and other cities is maybe not just muzzies . in yesterdays Spanish news they were covering the trial of four spics who done the same at the Pamplona bull run ,adding that it was not an isolated incident and that coupled with the fact i saw two Brits grab a woman’s arse last week. I know cunts are becoming unsociable ,but this is a new low……

    • Things are definitely not what they used to be.
      Funny how when we were kids, our parents would say about how ‘things are getting worse, people have no respect’, and we’d roll our eyes. Trouble is, they were right, and they are getting worse and will continue to do so. No respect for anyone or anything any more.

  8. That lefty lovey Kevin Maguire, editor of the Mirror and all round cunt was on Sky news press review last night displaying some (special) Olympic standard mental gymnastics. According to him the “children” let into Britain yesterday didn’t look like children as they had experienced things we can never imagine and the experience has aged them beyond their years. A truly stupendous display of cognitive dissonance even for a lefty lovey. Obviously Maguire has never heard of “Occam’s razor”, the principle that the most simple explanation is usually correct. They do not look like children because they are not fucking children, you fucking cunt!

    • Totally agree with you ,but on the other hand I’ve been buying smokes and booze since i was 14 ,and getting in clubs since i was 15…….

      • Slightly different. You see you were paying for the fags and to get into clubs. If these shit stains were paying to get into UK, it might be a different matter. It would have to be a fucking lot though.

        • You’re right i paid for it , delivered milk from half two in the morning until about half seven ,home ,get changed and fed and then off to school and then there was the collecting of the milk money three evenings a week…..all for twenty pound plus tips…… daughter has a strop if i ask her to take the dog down for a pee…….

          • I know, mate. Ask a kid to do a stroke these days and they’d get social services in. Shame the social weren’t as busy in Rotherham, the child rape enabeling cunts.

    • There was a generation of children who grew up through the War…..didn’t seem to age them by 15 years. Even the poor fuckers in the camps didn’t all look to be in their twenties.

    • My cousin,, Geoff, went to The Falklands when he was 22… He saw the Sheffield go down and some of his mates melt alive…. He still looked 22 when he got home and he looks 55 now (because he is)… Even Ray Charles could tell that these wogs from ‘Da Jungle, Innnit’ are not kids… And hiding in a cupboard and being in a Nazi death camp didn’t ‘age’ Anne Frank, did it?… I’ve heard of apologists and lame excuses, but this is going to far and borders on blind insanity… 10cc should reform and remake their late 70s hit as ‘The Things They Do For Wogs’…

      • For all the cunts moaning that the camp in Calais is atrocious, it’s still going to be like butlins compared to where these migrant cunts come from. If you believe their fucking sob stories…….

        • From the reports I’ve been reading lately it comes across like a folk festival. All that’s missing is slebs in posh wellies . whats that? ……oh they were there too………………

  9. It’s a fucking charter company run by cunts on behalf of cunts for cunts.

    They fly from round here and every time I see one take off I think yep, another load of cattle cunts on their down and out flight to a foreign shit hole to be robbed, raped and generally despised by local slimeballs.

    Fuck off you cunts I wave as they go overhead.

  10. I’m just surprised that Dio lowered his standards that much to fly cattle class, rather than, as he keeps telling us at every fucking opportunity, business class? I guess you just missed the BA flight then, Dio? 🙂

  11. The last time I was in Vegas the bouncer insisted I show him ID upon entering a titty bar. He was fucking serious too, I had to go all the way back to my hotel, admittedly only 100 yards away, to get my passport. And I’m 52!

    Even Las Vegas titty bars have stricter age checks than the UK border agency.

    • If you’re 52, he probably wanted to see your ID to verify your address, so when you popped your clogs out of excitement, he’d know where to send your mouldy old corpse, you old cunt ! 🙂

      • And obviously your balls haven’t dropped yet and can’t get into a titty bar. If you had ever been to one you would know they are far from exciting. I just like to see how low a wiminz will go for 10 bucks.

        • Haha! Fuck me, they’ll soon be by my knees! I’m 50, just made me feel better calling you old😊.
          You’re right, they are boring. Tired looking women with saggy tits….. Bit like the Green Party conference.

    • About right isn’t it? What a mess. Give it another 5 years and then lookin at the state of not just the UK, but also the rest of Europe.
      Not sure about putting Farage on a pedestal though….

    • That isn’t even a joke, that actually disgusted me coz it’s so fucking true.
      Never thought I’d see the day that I got offended…………never knew i was a snowflake……….

      • Hey at least Putin isn’t anti-russian it would be unthinkable but its a requirement to be anti-british nowadays especially for mongy MP’s.

        Christ I dont think the once absolved monarchy is even pro-british these days they live in their own little deluded world.

        • Over the past few years ,the West has pissed me off more than Russia has.
          I’m not saying Putin and Russia don’t have their faults , but you know where you are with the Russians ,whereas the Western leaders of late have been a shower of slippery cunts .
          The main reason I see for the West and it’s controlled MSM to hate Putin is that he doesn’t take any shit from them……..

          • Too true, Putin won’t go with American hegemony. He is an ex military man and has this old fashioned notion about duty and putting his country first. What a cunt.

            However before we all buy our tickets to Moscow be aware they have there own problems their too. In fact their problems outnumber our own having 20 million of the cunts or 15% of the population. Also, have you ever met a group of Russians on holiday? Worse than the fucking Germans. Ignorant, rude, arrogant and boorish. And thats just the wiminz.

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