Tombstoning

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The fucking idiot craze of jumping into water from a height without knowing how deep the water is or what’s concealed underneath it. Apparently jumping off a bridge or cliff into water risking instant death as your body is mashed on hidden rocks proves how brave you are.

Until you lay mashed crippled or dead in the water then the whole world knows what a moron you are. May as well stick a rocket up your arse and light it whilst your mate films so it can be uploaded to youtube.

If your going to hurt yourself in a moronic way at least have the decency to record it so as we can laugh at you and kids being dumb enough to to think about copying you can at least see the possible results first

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

If you’re going to jump off a bridge into three of water, at least have some consideration and kill yourself because I don’t want my taxes contributing to your upkeep for the rest of your sad stupid life

Nominated by: Dioclese

18 thoughts on “Tombstoning

    • There are not enough people doing this. Here is my top 3 groups who should be heading for the clifftop
      1. “Peaceful” people
      2. Labour MPs
      3. Cunts who see no wrong with mass uncontrolled immigration

  1. There’s plenty of cunts who should be forced to jump….specifically when the tide is out.
    First candidates should be those two groups of faggotty cunts mincing about on the money supermarket commercial.
    It’s fucking repulsive and what signal does it send out.
    Poofs in denim shorts and high heels ffs…..
    I’ve had the misfortune to see it twice and each time I’ve wanted to kick the TV.
    Any cunt involved with that campaign is a weird cunt…….

  2. I’d like to see Mo Farah as World Tombstone Champion….whether the cunt wanted to be or not.

    • I notice Farah’s missus is blabbing to the press about how her ‘Olympic Champion’ husband was ‘humiliated’ by US airline staff… She claims he wasn’t believed when he said he had a first class ticket… But it was probably him just being told to wait his turn… Full ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ routine automatically deployed… ‘You can’t do that! That’s Mo Farah (drum fucking roll) Olympic Champion!’….. They’re going to dine out on that for years…

      • She was probably worried that the drug testers were in hot pursuit. Or the taxman. Or she was hoping to ditch her ugly kid.

        • As the late Mrs Merton would say: ‘Tell me, what first atracted you to the millionaire, Mo Farah?’

          • Mind,she’s no oil painting herself. No wonder the cunt can run so fast,I would too,if she was squatting over my face,demanding oral attention.

  3. After weeks of speculation about Killary’s health and after she had a coughing fit last week, today she fainted at an event to comemorate 9/11. I’m sure you will all join me in wishing her a full and speedy recovery.

    • If she can’t be recovered faster than her illegal email server she may as well pick her coffin

  4. Ah poor Killary, something serious I hope. The stupid cunt is actually making Trump look good except I can’t take him seriously because trump is synonymous with fart where I come from. I might proudly wear a basket if deplorable T shirt though.

  5. I would like to nominate for a cunting those who hold Macmillan Coffee Mornings and Macmillan itself. I’ve see the advert on telly and couldn’t get to the remote quick enough. Why is cancer and cancer survival fashionable? People somberly saying how they’ve either got “the Big C” or beaten it. Chief executives of most major charities earn obscene amounts, especially the third world ones for which they seem to think money is the fix. I’ve got heart disease but the British Heart Foundation chief exec won’t be seeing money off me the greedy cunt. But the cancer shit being de rigeur blows me gasket. For fucks sake why ain’t they got Cröhn’s Disease or Ulcerative Colitis coffee mornings? Because nobody wants to have coffee and biscuits around the issue of shitting and ulcerated colons. It ain’t nice nor fashionable and don’t raise money from the gullible cunts who feed the charity business machine. I ain’t saying charity is wrong. Just shut the fuck up about it, choose what you do and do it on the quiet. Fuck Macmillan and their stupid cunting coffee mornings and fuck any victim who starts waving the “I’m a survivor” flag.

    • They do them at our gaff in Milton Keynes, luckily I’ve managed to escape them because they usually do them on days when I’m not in “Hell” (hateful fucking hole of a place).

      This is how two-faced the cunts are: there’s around 100 folk who work there (well who turn up, about 5 actually work) and when it’s an overt show of “charity” (Smashy & Nicey style) they’re all in there showing how “charitable” they are.

      A lady from a local hospice came round and asked if she could leave a collection box in the canteen (near the til – and its all cash there, no cards), it was left.

      There is a butty van who also does the rounds (and I’m partial to a swine butty of a morning), the lady in the van also had one of the local hospice collection boxes.

      3wks later I notice the butty van had a certificate of thanks for raising £480 odd quid. Low and behold the certificate for our gaff was up in the canteen (across 100+ employees)…£17.50! And two quid of that was mine! The greedy bastard cunts!

      Had they had a “donate and take a selfy for the hospice” tag with it the vain cunts wouldn’t have been able to resist and it would’ve netted a grand easy.

    • The reason why cancer is the go to charity is we all have a fucking good chance of getting it nowadays. from 1:100000 in ancient Egypt to 1:3 and heading to 1:2 in the next decade.

      Anyone who is half aware of the world knows that they have a fair chance of a cancer diagnosis in the future and if not them then almost certainly a loved one.

      Cancer is a cunt, though maybe the cure wont come from science but from the powers that be fessing up to why we are now so likely to get it.

      Saying that the Macmillan nurse that was assigned to my mother for the last coule of months of her life was pretty awesome and not a cunt at all.

      • I take your point SV regarding the odds and what the Macmillans and hospices do. Everybody knows someone who’s either had it or died from it so people might rather chip into that rather than the African financial black hole. Go to is probably a better term than fashionable. I just get fucked off at the relentless marketing they do when many others are overlooked. The collective smashy and nicey fundraising thing is a pisser too. Shit like children in need and Red nose day almost shame people for not taking part especially on schools non uniform days. The chief exec of Macmillan last year was on £161,000, more money than the PM and with only 1400 staff. It’s a piss take.

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