56 thoughts on “Will Self [5]

  1. That other cunt Russel Brand was a smackhead as well. I have never knowingly tried the stuff but it seems you either stay a smackhead or you turn into a ‘I know everything’ cunt.

    • I agree totally, if you dont agree with these pillocks they rant like fukwits, you’ve heard the obnoxious Brand, Self is similar, another addict and lefty go shite.

    • Absorbed should be included in his last name, just another guardian know it all luvvie

  2. He has a double-barrelled named but he dropped the latter part because it sounded too pretentious.

    I can’t remember if it was Self-Obsessed or Self-Important but it was one of the two.

    He brought a book out called “My Idea of Fun” 20yrs or so ago and was so obsessed with himself that he gimmicked the cover with a bust of his own head made from his own frozen blood. It’s just a pity they hadn’t bled the cunt dry!

    Him and Billy Brag are the main go-to left-wing cunts for the panel of Question Time and for any opinion that the BBC know they’ll get in their favour (Self was interviewed endlessly following brexit – funnily enough he was for remain).

    My first experience of Will Self was as a stand-up comedian on some obscure late night Channel 4 flannel. Needless to say, when it was clear that he was about as funny as losing your job, he became a novelist/journalist and left-wing commentator (i.e. socialist gob-shite for the media).

    Like I say, as with most of these cunts, it’s easy to bang the drum of socialism when you’re minted!

    Russell Brand isn’t even in the same league. That cunt will jump onto any band-waggon that will afford him as much airtime as possible – now that his 5 minute long career of shite is in the shitter following the Andrew Sachs incident.

    Which reminds me, why do we still have to put up with that Jonathan Ross cunt? Me Nan used to have a saying “…gets their money for nowt!” Ross is the epitome of that, a talentless, useless cunt, who – as a chat show host – can’t even talk properly!

    • I wonder how many times Will Self has sucked Billy Braggs cock nose

    • Marcus Brigstock is another pompous, self aggrandising socialist weasel masquerading as an intelligent comedian.

      He is not funny, and his rhetoric is the same as Uber cunts Bragg and Self. Intelligent fuckers like these fawned over The War Criminal Tony Blair ©…enough said.

      • That’ll be the same Marcus Alexander Brigstocke who felt the true pain and social depravation of living in the high-rise ghettos that were profligate in most major cities in the 1970’s during his childhood?

        Or, is it the Marcus Alexander Brigstocke who’s Dad was one of those minted city banker cunts who brought the world to its financial knees in 2008?

        I wonder?

        Nah, he must be the first one because the 2nd one surely couldn’t live with themselves feigning a faux sense of socialism when they were born with a silver spoon in their mouth and one up their arse for good measure?

        Why don’t these cunts just be honest with themselves? Don’t pretend something you really don’t believe in you cunt!

        At least when Jimmy Carr was questioned on how much tax he paid, initially he at least had the gumption to say: “Exactly what I have to and not a penny more!” – IS THE RIGHT ANSWER! DING! DING! DING!

        Then the other tax dodging liberal cunts got on his case and the fucker folded like a bad poker hand. That was when Jimmy Carr became a cunt, when he appeased his faux socialist peers, who think they understand working folks’ struggle because they occasionally eat their caviar off a Ritz cracker rather than a toasted crouton seasoned with black truffle, prepared by their (minted) socialist mate Jamie fucking Oliver! Cunts!

  3. I wish James Corden would invite Will Self, Jonathan Woss and Russell Brand onto his Carpool Karaoke shite and I was nearby with a steamroller capable of 0 to 60 in 4 seconds. That would sort the cunts out.

    • That fat, unfunny fuck, Corden would break any steamroller known to man. We should donate him to the North Koreans who could use their next nuclear weapon on him.

    • Carpool Karaoke, Baghdad market style. Fill the car boot with some high explosives and a cellular trigger.

      Maybe we need to start Cuntpool Karaoke… where a couple of cunts meet a mildly comedy demise if they confess to being total cunts.

      • Fat cunt Corbyn stole the ‘Carpool karaoke’ idea from Peter Kay’s ‘Car share’. The deeply unfunny thieving cunt.

  4. Like all the rest of the pseudo working class lefty cunts, he actually despises the working class. The reaction post EU referendum showed us the utter contempt cunts like this have for the common man. Apparently the common man is too old, too stupid and too racist to be trusted with a vote. Right on, comrade. Cunt….

    • Hang on Will Self used to do stand up?I bet he was as funny as cock cancer.

  5. I’m sick and tired of seeing celebrity cunts pleading for money for starving children in Africa. I’m sorry but Africa’s problems are for Africans to sort out, hand outs from gullible Europeans never actually make it to the intended recipient, a large part goes in administration fees for the charity and the rest is pilfered by corrupt wogs. And why would the corrupt wogs running things want this situation to change? They wouldn’t, the status quo is very nice thank you.

    Africa has everything going for it, oil, gold, diamonds, iron ore, and many more. Much of it has fertile soil and a climate you can’t stop things from growing, huge potential for tourism, the list goes on. Africa should be the richest continent on the planet. But it isn’t and that is the fault of the Africans, so they can fuck off. Cunts.

    Tom Hiddleston can fuck off and all. “1/3 of refugees are children” Are they fuck, Tom. 60% of the cunts are single military age men. Cunt.

    • David Cameron ensured that EVERY taxpaying British citizen gives generously to all the world’s poverty stricken. Whether we want to or not. That is, all the world’s poverty stricken, unless they’re British. Cameron cares more about fucking dead pigs than he does about poverty stricken Brits. Cunt.

  6. I was wondering, who pays this cunt, then I thought the BBC, then I thought me, sigh.

  7. I also saw his reaction to the referendum result and it was shameful. The extreme arrogance and petulance he displayed, showed him up for the utter cunt he really is. He completely epitomized the foot-stamping, throw-your-toys-out-of-the-pram, spoilt brattishness that are the London-centric bubble-living luvvie tossers.

  8. You can always rely on the BBC to provide plenty of cunting material. Todays little gem is that peace loving women are the most disadvantaged members of society. My heart bleeds. It seems they are hit with a triple whammy, firstly being female ( as if that was a disadvantage in the first place ), secondly for being from an ethnic background ( I wonder what ethnicity the most powerful man in the world is?) and for being a peace lover ( entirely their own choice.)

    The report states that 58% of them are unemployed and are not even looking for work. In my book that does not make them disadvantaged, that makes them lazy cunts sponging off the state.

    The geniuses who penned the report, at tax payers expense concluded that this negative discrimination was caused by cultural expectations withing the peace loving community, religious dress, mosques failing to involve them and inability to speak the fucking language! Oh yes, and the big one being islamophobia, an imaginary mental condition characterised by a reluctance of employers to hire people dressed as tents who cannot speak English. Cunts.


      • Holy fuck!

        Those five look like they were dragged off the licky bus and told to bust out their hottest moves…….with predictably hilarious results.

        Leftards really are retarded.

    • Notice this is specifically muslim women, not hindu or buddhist or seikh but the religion of special needs as Pat Condell so brilliantly puts it. Islam is a scourge of modern life.

    • I’d set them all on in the nearest pork-scratching factory,scorching the hair off the piggy hides might be enough to mask any other noxious odours,and I’ve no doubt that their knife skills will be adequate when it comes to slitting a few pigs’ throats. No need to provide splatter-proof overalls,seeing as they already come dressed as bin-bags. I do hope that my suggestions are put to our peace-loving neighbours in the earnest hope that they feel more “included”. God forbid they feel unwelcome,and fuck off back to whichever sandy paradise that they came from.

    • MPs are cunts. The BBC reported this but an all party committee came up with this nonsense, not a bunch of corbynista Islamophiles.
      So, it’s our fault these fuckers dress as they do, act as they do and are subjugated by their men. It’s our fault they breed like rabbits and live on the child benefits available to them.
      It’s employers who discriminate (the bastards) It’s workmates who discriminate (the bastards) Society is to blame and must change to fit in with them.
      MPs are cunts.

      • Yeah they blame anyone but Islam.Surely if the women and equalities select committee had a shred of integrity they would highlight how Islam treats women like shit.I love how some Muslim women say the burqha or Niqab is empowering.If it is so great how come the men dont do it?Could it be that actually it is because they are dressing up patriarchal coersion with medieval notions of modesty.Of couse not I am just being a cis white male Islamophobe naturally.

      • Do they not think it “marginalises” employment opportunities?
        1, I will not show my face.
        2, I am un educated
        3, I can not speak to men without a male relative.

        Find a job that fits that description!

    • Heard it on radio cunting four this morning, in their usual balanced reporting, as in someone who agreed, and another cunt who strongly agreed. I’m sure I only listen to it to test my blood pressure. And Chris über cunt Evans is on radio two.

  9. I had the shits last year, a case of food poisoning from the local Taj Mahal, Will Self reminds me of the shit I left in the toilet that day, smelly, runny and utterly disgusting.
    I swear I also clocked Stewart Lee’s face in the creamy shit too

    Will Self, total utter pretentious wanker, typical soggy biscuit private school boy, he’s swallowed more cum than Elton John, John Barrowman, Graham Norton & Susanna Reid combined!
    He only has to breathe on your fish an chips and they are seasoned!

  10. Will Self, the epitome of a self indulgent, self righteous Leftard who wants to impose his opinions on the rest of us.

    Go fuck youself.

  11. You can’t cunt Will Self any better than he does it himself every time he writes an article or opens his smug self satisfied mouth. Like another self satisfied smug ex junkie Davina McCall.

    Did they ever overdose? If so they know how we feel having to put up with over exposure to the dross they dish up.


  12. Will Self once tried to defend Robert Thompson and Jon Vennables on account of their age.Listening to him ramble on in that nasal monotonous voice majes me want to chuck my TV out of the window and then piss out of the window onto it.His wife is also a massive murderer defending cunt.She reckoned that the killer of Ann Maguire was being treated unfairly.Cant one of us just put a few bags full of heroin through his letterbox?

    • If we scapped the BBC, a lot of this sort of shite would simply disappear, the BBC is a self inflicted wound

    • Heroin isn’t exactly cheap stuff mate, the price of a gram is double the price of a gram of cocaine. A gram of coke is roughly £46 depending on quality

      @ Yeah poor Will Cornick its almost like Ann was asking to be stabbed.Feels bad for the murderer? thats what happens when you marry a loony like Will Self you end up defending murderers. Oh and she works for the guardian too?! well that explains it then.

      • I didnt realise it was that expensive.Would still be money well spent though!Yeah Orr is well qualified to work at the guardian.I feel sorry for their kids but I imagine they are regurgitating their progressive vermin parents pseudo_intellectual claptrap.They are probably just like the modern parents sketch on Viz.

        • Ahhh Viz. Back when it was good. Fave was The Parkie. Cried laughing reading about that bastard. Classic stuff!

          • Nobby`s Piles Student Grant and Buster Gonad were my personal favourites.I seem to remember them doing a alphabetical system of flags to spell out bollocks on the front cover when they got banned from swearing on the front page.

          • Got to be Mrs Brady and Cockney Wanker for me. Roger Melly too for sticking it to media cunts.

          • Viz was very funny years back. These days it is really, really shit, the only good stuff is that written by the readers. Cunts.

          • Agreed. Bought a copy last week, first time in about 8 years, and was depressed at how unfunny it was. The Readers letters page WAS the funniest thing, won’t be buying again in a hurry. Funny how everything gets crappy as time goes on……

  13. Thought Self was quite good on Shooting Stars. The cooing on the Dove From Above round always made me laugh. Also thought Corden was good in The Wrong Mans. Really enjoyed that. Suppose that makes me a cunt.

    I think Corden is over here in Yankland now presenting some talk show tripe. Television for the LCD – Lowest Common Denominator.

    • I would pay a lot of money, to charity, to see a TV show where Corden is put into a small room with a tiger, and his own means of escape is up a very greasy pole.
      Would feel a bit sorry for the tiger, having to eat all that lard wouldn’t be good for it. In fact, chuck in the entire cast of that fantastically unfunny piece of crap ‘comedy’, ‘Gavin & Stacy’ too, that also featured the cunty fucktard.

  14. James Corden is proof that if you can suck a cock well you’ll get ahead on TV.
    That fat cunt could suck a roast chicken down a hosepipe, the fat talent less cunt.

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