Griefjackers [2]


So Cilla is dead and she dodged the Dead Pool just to piss on our chips, but, it’s the Cunts on all the six o’clock news who’ll share my good Cunting.

I predict reports of an: “Out pouring of public grief”. No. There’ll be the usual suspect lovies wheeled out, sobbing into their monogrammed silk hankies spewing the usual platitudes: she was such a talent, gone too soon blah, blah. Cut to outside broadcast unit at the Cavern Club now with two sunglassed, dayglo vested securidrones holding back the masses all looking for their fifteen minutes of fame.

Reporter asks bearded, be-tattoed fat scoucer and her husband for their thoughts, lemme guess: She was our princess, Queen of Livapule, always true to her roots and can I just say hi to me mam……… And Liverpool Council (City of Culture, and to think they put a cunt in Scunthorpe, there’s injustice for you. Cunts) are straight on the bandwagon with a book of condolences; I bet that’s had ‘Red Rum’ scribbled out and Cilla inked in double quick; anyway it’ll have been nicked by now. Cunts.

No! No! And thrice No! Don’t presume to tell me when and for whom I shall pour out my grief you manipulating cunts. Don’t try to convince me with your crocodile tears and squeaky voice how good she was you pointless wanna-be cunts. She was a toothy, titless and talent lacking annoying cunt discovered in a dank, damp cellar in Scallyland true to her roots from Costa del whatthefuck, but, that’s not going to stop everybody and his dog with access to the media telling the world we’re all sheeple pouring out our grief. Cunts

Perhaps a site Book of Cuntdolences is in order, just to redress the balance.

Nominated by: King Cnut

43 thoughts on “Griefjackers [2]

  1. Is there anything more shallow, narcissistic & pointless as posting “RIP CIlla” on a forum or Facebook/Twitter?.
    It has nothing to do with paying respect to the dead, it is all about the poster showing their “followers/friends” how empathic they are.
    These people make me fucking sick, they are the same bunch of cunts who complain when something happens on TV, yet they never even saw it, but cannot help themselves jumping on the bandwagon.

    The irony is these cunts book of condolence will simply have 50 likes on Facebook with no actual signatures.

  2. She often used to visit Thatcher’s lair to watch snuff movies made by Jimmy Savile at Haut de la Garenne (while they double-fisting each others arse holes) and then they would have a sherry and some cake.

  3. I remember the bullshit ‘national grief’ that we had to suffer after Princess Diana died. Anyone who didn’t share in the mourning was a heartless bastard with no feelings. It really annoyed me when that bewigged cock jockey, Elton John released a modified version of Candle in the Wind. What a load of sweaty bollocks. The lazy cunt couldn’t even be bothered to write a new song for her. He had to go and fuck up his tribute to Marilyn Monroe. Wanker.

    I was in a music store a couple of days after it had been released, and the queue of people wanting to buy that load of bollocks was huge. I’d gone in to buy a new copy of Queen’s a Kind of Magic, because a dozy fucking mate had spilled a glass of Coke over the tape that I’d lent him. Twat. Anyway, after waiting for the best part of 45 minutes to get to the till, I put the album on the counter. The look I got from the skinny, bearded student type behind the counter was priceless.

    It was clear that he’d spent the whole day selling copies of Sir Knob Gobbler’s ‘Ode to Di’, to an endless procession of insincere, bandwagon jumping, bell ends, who hadn’t previously given a Donald Duck about ‘The People’s Princess’. So when I put that copy of A Kind of Magic on the counter, he genuinely could not believe it. In all honesty, I’d never liked her. And although I was sorry that she’d died, I’m not a hypocrite. And of course, the biggest griefjacker back then, was that traitorous bucket of slime, Phoney Blair.

    I’ve got no problem with people being upset if someone they were a fan of dies. I was sad when George Cole died. But I didn’t take to Twatter to express my unending grief. Or to explain to everyone why my grief was more profound than theirs. And I certainly don’t get angry if other people choose not to jump on the grief wagon.

    Because the truth is, that George was in his early nineties and had been ill for some time. He’d had a good, long life. And he’d entertained us all with the various films and TV shows that he made during his long career. Especially St Trinians an Minder.

    This whole bullshit about Cilla dying was one of the more pathetic cases of grief jacking. Liverpool’s reaction to it was particularly pathetic. Because the first thing that Cilla did when she first became famous, was to get the fuck out of Scouseville.

    • I too was never a fan of ‘The princess of hearts’.

      As somebody recently pointed out, the only two things you need to know about Diana is that she was thick as pigshit and now shes dead (thankfully).

      I was living in Scandinavia when the pointless bint karked it and I remember that Sunday morning well.

      Up at 08:00 after a night on the piss and looking to give the day a soft start until the bars opened again with an hour of Søster Johanna, a Swedish kids programme with a saucy Swedish tart dressed up as a nurse, shortly followed by a spot of MTV Nordic in the background as I sorted the washing and ironing.

      But no. On this particularly hungover Sunday I switch on the shit pump to see rolling news coverage of the deceased and the sleazy tablecloth head that she was shacked up with, complete with the same five video clips of a Merc in bits and crying gap toothed yokels proclaiming her to be the best queen we never had.

      ‘ok, fuck this shit’ I groan as I switch over to MTV for some jiggly tits and arse action.

      But no.

      The ticker at the bottom of the screen reads ‘In keeping with the sombre mood, today’s programmes have been cancelled’….. WTF!!!
      Nothing but Take that and other easy listening offences to the ears being played for some dozy tart who would open her legs for anyone who ever payed her a fawning complimemt and had plenty of cash in the bank.

      My remedy to the situation was to play Butthole Surfers at full volume, followed by that song by half man half biscuit that includes the line ‘The nauseating bashfulness of princess Diana makes me want to set fire to commemorative tea towels’.

      And then on to the local petrol station for a medicinal six pack of Carlsberg and a trip to Cristiania to ease my frustration that an otherwise useful Sunday had been spoiled by The princess of cunts.

      Still, at least it wasn’t snowing for a change.

    • Spot on, QDM… I went to Old Trafford when Sir Matt Busby died, and I put down the scarf I had worn at games since I was a boy…. I was also sad when Bestie passed away, but I didn’t expect everyone else to join in… Not even members of my own family…

      I think griefjacking is another disease that plagues modern Britain… My mum was a huge Beatles fan, and although she was sad that Lennon had been shot she didn’t hook up with other fans and do all that collective mourning bullshit… Fuck knows what levels of mass hysteria we are going to get from the griefmonkeys when Macca finally shuffles off… Especially from those scouse cunts…

      • When Richard “Jaws” Kiel snuffed it I drank some beers and watched The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker in his honour. He did have a good run, not many Acromegaly sufferers make it into their 70’s. From all accounts a genuinely nice bloke too, unlike most dead celebs…..

        • The Spy Who Love Me is (along with Live And Let Die) my favourite Bond film… Kiel was a nice lad. so I’m told….

          I put on a bit of 1967 era Floyd when dear old Syd Barrett passed away… But that was my own personal choice… That sort of tribute is a personal thing… Now it has become a sick competition… Cunts on Twatter doing all that ‘I have more followers for my tribute!’ ‘My grief is better than yours!’

  4. Long time reader first time cunter.
    ok I know he’s been done before but our old mate Chris Spivey deserves another cunting. Not for his normal mentally ill twaddle but for the quality of the work of the “registered tattoo artist”
    go here and feast your eyes on the incredible masterworks that Michaelangelo himself would I am sure marvel at. I particuarly like the fact that Michael Jacksons nose looks even worse than it did in real life

    • yeh i saw those tattoos,i wasn’t going to mention them because call me a big softy i was actually feeling a bit sorry for him but it has to be said they are pretty naff. i see yet another of his ‘investigations has gone tits up with the revelation that the glasgow bin lorry driver lied about his health record. no conspiracy no ulterior motive just a man with health problems. i know people on his site, also read this site, could they please post a message saying what they think of his ‘expose’ now? as someone who was called a brain dead sheeple for daring to question his idiotic ramblings on that incident i can’t help feeling a little smug. come on Dogman woolfie and the rest, still think he got that right? he didnt, what else did he get wrong?

      • That is likely to be the best he can do. I have seen much better self tattoos in the forces.

      • Too be fair, he has two remaining major conspiraciy false flag operations which may redeem him, namely the Alton Towers roller coaster accident and that incident where a roof blew off a car dealership somewhere…..clearly we are fools for not seeing them for what they are, namely…..err I’m not entirely sure but he has screeds of prose and loads of pictures. So there you have it.

    • Spivey will be sentenced on August 27th, I believe – can I ask all cunters here to keep their fingers crossed for a custodial?

      In the meantime, one of Spivey’s cohorts recently posted this on his site:

      The hypocrisy is breathtaking – first he complains about the way Spivey has been “unfairly portrayed by the media” (you mean like the unfair way Spivey portrays Lee Rigby and his family, you fucking cunt?). Then, amazingly, he concludes by complaining about the hurtful things trolls have been saying about Spivey online…(isn’t that Spivey’s whole raison d’etre? So it’s ok coming from him, but not from anyone else?).

      Never thought I’d say this, but I think Spivey and his supporters are coming close to equalling Paul Dacre for unabashed, irredeemable cuntitude. I hope Spivey gets sent down and I hope the “arranged suicide” he so fears actually comes true. The world of tattooing would be better off without ignorant, talentless cunts like Spivey.

      • His site is up again? well I guess his take down was temporary, actually a friend told me his site would be back up a week ago but wasn’t sure. Like I said he won’t do much time maybe community service but thats it I don’t know why people think hes getting a death sentence or some harsh punishment.

        • Apparently the cunt was only obliged to remove the articles over which he was charged and convicted, and all references to them.

        • You have to admit it was a funny article I fucking laughed at least 10 times throughout aside from his superstitions, about the fuzz wanting to kill him .The way he addresses the reader is comic gold and the msm did seem to lie and portray him as a troll they even called him a journalist haha. I think blogger/cunt funnyman is more appropriate.

    • Outstandingly bad tattoos aren’t they? I wouldn’t let the cunt near me with a needle that’s for sure…

      Spivey’s bad tats will defo go into Rooom 101!

  5. Liverpool the “Capital of Culture!” oh please! The city where Interflora operate a “Blues and Twos” service? This blasted griefjacking or whatever is a reflection of the decline in our nation. What happened to the stiff upper lip? Now in scouseland they have shrines to dead chickens complete with toys and cards, anything to avoid a days work I suppose. “Our Cilla” is now “GodsCilla” and will be attacking Tokyo later this week (h/t Sickipedia)
    As for the originator of this narcissistic “look at me I’m showing more grief than you” princess…
    “Gone to Heaven, Not to Hades… All because of a fast Mercedes”

  6. Our cilla fuck off more like Our cunt this shit is getting too much now they wanna do a musical? I wonder if the musical will mention how rude she was to her fans. Once my friends uncle tryed getting a autograph from her in the early 90’s i think, he said he asked very kindly in a calm manner for her autograph she just gave him this evil stare like some demonic harpie and said in a nasty voice “I don’t give autographs now leave me alone or I’ll have you thrown out” what a nice little cunt she is she lost another fan that day.

  7. Talking of Princess Diana, I hear Kate Middleton is off to Paris on her own soon, well she has produced the heirs so she is now superfluous.
    If I was her I certainly would not drive through any tunnels.
    As Spivey would say, the whole thing was crisis actors and Diana is now living in the Moon with the mind-controlling Reptilian order.

  8. Van Gaal should buy Rooney a banjo, see if he can hit a cow’s arse with it… I think Wayne would be incapable of that though… The useless, money grabbing, granny shagging, wigheaded fat scouse cunt….

  9. The funeral is like a gathering of Satan’s minions: Paul O’Grady, Carol Vorderman, Cliff Richard, Jimmy Tarbuck, Dale Winton, Lorraine Chase and loads of retards in piss-stained Jimmy Savile shell suits thieving the funeral flowers to sell for drug money.

    • Tom Jones was there too…. I thought it was Morgan Freeman for a minute…
      It’s also guaranteed that several of the ‘souvenir programmes’ from Cilla’s send-off will be for sale on Ebay by our not so loveable scouse cunt friends tomorrow (or even tonight!)… Those bastards would sell their own grannies…

      If every working and ‘ordinary’ person Cilla had been a cunt to over the years attended her service, they’d need to book Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral and St. Peters in Rome… I wonder if the staff of British Airways are having their own special ‘tribute’ for Cilla?

    • I notice along with Cliff, Biggins, O’Grady, et all, Nigel Evans is also there. What is the attraction with Cilla for these cunts?

  10. Warning: you may puke up if you read all the bullshit about Cilla in the following link:

    ‘Cilla touched everybody’s hearts?’ Fuck off, you stinking scouse cunts… And who is the decrepit old bellend in the ‘Goodbye Cilla’ T-Shirt? Conclusive proof (as if it was needed!) that scousers are the biggest self basting griefjacking cunts on the planet earth….

    And doesn’t Carol Vorderman look like a Moss Side slag?

    • That was pukey especially cliffs worship of cilla of course he will do anything to get people to stop talking about his paedo behavior well supposedly he had sex with a teenager boy at a billy graham event. “She had the determination and above all she had the gift” what gift would that be? being a self centered cunt who hated her fans, who stopped singing years ago because she lost her terrible voice. I was talking to some our cilla fan cunt today and she said cilla was a angel who is in heaven yeah right! I assured her cilla was a bitter cunt who was most likely in the other place hell but don’t worry satan created a liverpool like landscape just for her packed with robbers thieves and rapists just for our cilla with none of the posh life items that the cunt was obsessed with.

      • O’ Grady, Biggins and Winton are cunts too… Someone should tell these celebrity benders about Cilla’s love of Thatcher and of Thatcher’s love of Clause 28….

        As for Cliff, now I now what his awful ‘Saviour’s Day’ single was about… I swear that he sings ‘He is gobbling you, a-gobbling you…’

  11. ‘Cilla was the greatest TV presenter of all time?!’ Yeah right… Keep taking the church wine and the pills,Cliff, you senile old cunt….

    • An absolute certainty that was gonna happen, Dio…
      Typical scousers…. I have it on good authority that the Liverpudlian griefmonkeys were selling (and buying) badly printed ‘Cilla’ T-Shirts on the day of her send-off…. Those lot really are vermin…

  12. Susan Calman, lesbian Scotch BBC darling has been awarded series of her own on Radio 4 to continue to demonstrate what a desperately unfunny, chippy cunt she is. What CAN people see in her?
    There is not much hope for Radio 4 really. Perhaps I should cunt them again? And that whining lefty cunt Jeremy Hardy. What a bunch of cunts.

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