Jenny Eclair


I walked out of a Jenny Eclair gig some years ago. (Wife bought the tickets) Lasted 35 minutes. Fuck knows how I stood it for that long.

Same old wimmins humour. Tampons, menstrual cycles, husband can’t piss in straight line, men leaving the toilet seat up…Nothing, but nothing new. Bet she does the same material now, 15 years later. She’s an unfunny, slack-skinned hag… Like an Iceland chicken when all the pumped in fatty water has been drained off. Very funny to look at, not even mildly amusing to listen to.

Fucking cunt.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

12 thoughts on “Jenny Eclair

  1. Every so often a nomination is posted on this blog that is so richly deserved it brings a tear to my eye!
    I’m fucking welling up right now…. 😀
    The highlight had to be:

    Like an Iceland chicken when all the pumped in fatty water has been drained off. Very funny to look at, not even mildly amusing to listen to.

    That line right there is funnier than anything Jenny Eclair has ever done or said. Pure comedy gold!

  2. Excellent cunting. I believe Jenny Eclair “rose without trace” (to quote Peter Cook) on account of the deliberately inclusive, positive discrimination embraced by the alternative comedy brigade in the 80’s. Unfunny cunts like her, Ruby Wax, Jo Brand and French & Saunders were all given a chance purely on account of being female, neglecting to realise that the first rule of comedy is not gender equality, but the need to actually BE FUNNY.

    The few female comedians who are really worth seeing wouldn’t touch those lazy, tired, clichéd “periods/diets/aren’t men awful” routines – their material tends to succeed by being inherently funny, not dependent on their gender.

    • “Alternative Comedy isn’t dead, it’s just not very funny. Never was, never will be”. An exact quote from Bottom Live 3 starring Rik Mayall and Ade Edmonson. They actually admit it to a live audience.

  3. True, Fred… None of those female comediennes are remotely funny… Someone who is funny doesn’t have to rely on PC bollocks or ride on the back of a ‘movement’ or ‘scene’..
    Judy Garland was known mainly as a singer…. But she was funnier in her onstage put downs to hecklers at her live gigs than any of those alternative cunts already mentioned…
    French & Saunders just do bad impersonations of others (like a female Little & Large).. Brand’s routine is as it has always been (men, cakes, men, vibrators, cakes, dildos, anoreixa and sick Lena Zavaroni/ Karen Carpenter ‘jokes’, and er… men… errr… cakes)… And the less said about Wax and Eclair (Su Pollard on crack) the better….

    I’m actually trying to think of a genuinely funny female comic…. And one that doesn’t do the usual men, sex, chocolate and fake feminist bullshit… I don’t mind watching Rachel Bloom, but maybe that’s because of her knockers…

    • Yes, Judy Garland’s off-the-cuff one-liners are the stuff of legend.

      Nina Conti is great – plenty of hilarious bad taste and definitely the first time I’ve ever found a ventriloquist funny. You’d never catch her doing the kind of crass, predictable material that Jenny Eclair does.

        • Her live shows are better than her TV appearances – more swearing and of course primetime TV doesn’t like jokes about paedophiles…

          • Nina Conti is hilarious. She does a ventrilliquist act with her monkey “monk” that has to be the funniest live show I’ve seen in a long time. Don’t miss the chance to see her if you can.

  4. For some years I have been of the opinion that Jenny Eclair has a very odorous growler. Your thoughts?

  5. Another ‘comedienne’ worthy of mention and that fits the same abysmal bill is Shappi Khorsandi. Look her up and marvel at how the fuck she gets paid for what she does. Utterly shite. No stage presence, She only survives at venues such as the Apollo where the audience is made up of middle class tossers that wouldn’t say boo to a goose let alone heckle. Get her down to a low-key gig with a predominently stag and hen audience. That’s where you find out if you can cut it. She’d be eaten alive and the bones spat out before she’d got past her first cheerless tale of being exiled from Iran. Silly bint.

  6. I’ve seen Shappi Khorsandi…. I agree, she is a prize cunt… Maybe we can send her back to Iran? With any luck they might have a death warrant out on her…

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