John Barnes

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John Barnes deserves to be cunted, for being…well…a cunt. He was on t.v. yesterday, whingeing about not being offered any managerial jobs because, y’know, “I is black innit”. I’ve done a little bit here and it turns out that, far from being denied a manager’s job because of racism, the reason he can’t get a job as manager, is because he’s shite.

He was head coach of Celtic for the 1999/2000 season, and did a piss poor job. He presided over Celtic’s shock loss to Inverness Caledonian Thistle. Anyone remember the headline in the Sun after that defeat? “Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious”. He was asked to leave shortly after that.

In 2008, he became manager of the Jamaican national team. To be fair, he actually did quite well with them. But it wasn’t what he wanted, so he got the manager’s job at Tranmere Rovers. He was shite. In his first fourteen games as manager, Tranmere won THREE matches. There’s a rumour that the players gave Barnes and his number 2, Jason McAteer the nickname “Dumb and Dumber”. He was sacked after a 5-0 loss to Milwall. He’s since applied for a job with the Rwandan national team.

I don’t like racists. But I really don’t like cunts who play the race card when they don’t get what they want, especially when there are more plausible explanations. In Barnes’ case that explanation is that he sucks donkey testicles when it comes to football management. And possibly because he talks so fast, no fucker knows what he’s saying. He’s just not cut out for management.

That’s not good enough for Barnes though. He doesn’t get jobs as a manager, because all us white people are fucking racist bastards. This cunt spent too much time in Liverpool. Their perpetual victimhood has rubbed of on him. Fuck you Barnes. If anyone is racist, it’s you.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

16 thoughts on “John Barnes”

  1. Dead right, QDM… Entire reputation built on a goal against Brazil… Did fuck all else of note for England…. Did even less as a manager… Yet because he is now seemingly unemployable in football management due to his horrendous track record Barnes pulls out the race card.. Skin colour is nothing to do with how good or bad someone is… I think Kanye West is shite, but I also think Oasis were a load of wank too… They’re just both talentless gobshite tossers… And Barnes was/is a crap manager… Does anyone hear Stevie Wonder say ‘I don’t get in the charts any more because I’m black?’ Nah, he just isn’t as great and prolific as he used to be (and Cowell/iTunes has turned the Top 40 to shit)… But while Stevie really was great at one time, Barnes never was… His posturing and tantrums reek of his own self importance… Anyone would think Barnes was Pele or Johan Cruyff the way he goes on… It appears that Barnes expects a big management job because he is black… And if that isn’t a form of racism, I don’t know what is…

    His ‘rapping’ is also shite… See ‘Anfield Rap’ and ‘World In Motion’…

    • Everything you say is true Norman, but not slagging off World in Motion – the greatest song ever written.

      • There are some fine mixes of World In Motion on the 12”…
        There is a Barnes-free version, and atlhough Barnes was bad it’s better than having that Keith Allen cunt singing on it (…

      • The irony with his “rap” in World in Motion, is that it’s probably the SLOWEST he’s ever talked.

  2. Compared to Newcastle’s head coach John Carver. Barnes is an absolute genius of a manager.
    It would not matter if Carver was Black, Asian or from outer Mongolia, he’d still be shite.

  3. “This cunt spent too much time in Liverpool. Their perpetual victimhood has rubbed off on him.”

    Perfect analysis.
    And the SDP are cunts too.

    • Don’t get me started with the SDP mate. Though their is actually something worse. Scargill’s Socialist Labour Party.

      • Scargill’s lot are due a cunting over at my place on Monday. Their manifesto is well worth a read if you believe in total fantasy!

        I’m doing the Communist Party of GB later in the week as well – just in the interests of not showing political bias you understand…

      • I actually heard it the other day. I have to get my ears tested though, I’m sure I heard him say they wanted out of the EU. Funny though, how this cunt has been silent pretty much since Maggie shoved her shoe up her arse when he was leading the NUM. Now there’s a GE coming, and Miliwank looks like having a chance of getting into No 10, he raises his head again. Helps that Thatcher’s dead too.

  4. Is Scargill mental, deluded or just thick? Surely he must know that he’ll achieve nothing?

    Felt a pang of nostalgia today… When I saw online that Scarlett Johansson was appearing in Parade magazine my hopes (let’s just say that) were raised… How gutted I was when I discovered the Hollywood bit of fluff would not be appearing in the legendary UK top shelf classic… I got leathered at school for reading that… I wouldn’t mind, but the teacher nicked it and read it himself… The dirty old cunt…

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