Guy Fawkes


“Remember, remember the fifth of November…”

What a fuck up. Where are the heroes when you need them?

Maybe old Guido was a Jihadist? Maybe they’re not all bad? Just a thought…

Nominated by: Dioclese

It’s that merry time of year again when a minority of selfish, narrow minded cunts turn your average suburb into downtown Beirut. From sunset to sunrise, we can look forward to bangs, pops and whistles as their fucking fireworks off, and tough shit if you have to get up for work in the morning. Try going round to their shit-hole residence and ask them to keep quiet, and all you get is a load of bollocks about “its only fun”, “just five more minutes” or “fuck off, wanker”.

Only upside is you could blast the cunts with a shotgun and no one would be any wiser on the noise. That’d fuck them.

I get a real urge to burn these fuck-wits houses to the ground and stab any fucking cunt trying to flee the inferno.

Nominated by: KiwiCunt

12 thoughts on “Guy Fawkes

  1. Guy Fawkes night is the one time orf the year I feel proud to be English so any mealy cocked cunt that does not like it go strap some bangers orn yer bollocks, come down to me neck orf the woods and we’ll pop you orn the bonfire (where is Flaxen Saxon when you need him) with a rocket up yer arse and let you blow orf for Britain. Was in Belfast the first time Guy Fawkes Night was allowed after the Peace Process. Proddies and Fenian Fuckers were bottling it, not even a sparkler to be seen so drove around the Falls Road lobbing a few bangers out me old Bentley. Soon had the place lit up. Me butler was orn the floor shitting himself for some reason.

    Bonfire Night is one in the eye (pun intended) for health ‘n safety so have for many years gorn down to Lewes to aid and assist the psychotics there in their annual pyrotechnic carnage. Whole town resounds to explosions, marching bands, parades and deaf walking wounded kicking blazing tar barrels. A great night dedicated to prejudice and hate. Fucking old bill and the pc brigade have been trying to queer it for years and even Sir Limply has had to make a concession to health ‘n safety – have to use blanks in me shotgun now. Spoil sports.

    Then the crowds follow the Firework Societies to their traditional pitches around the town to burn in effigy the assorted cunts that have given them the arsehole that year. Yes the pope gets done but Cameron and Clegg (see pic) are popular, assorted paedos ect ect. An opportunity for the people to make a statement, lobb a few bangers and get pissed. British Democracy in action. Amazingly the whole town never seems to go up. Clearly all that pope burning bestows divine blessing.

    You nay saying cunts should get down there. If you have any get that British blood moving. Orn every year.

    Burning tar barrels


    • Bugger me. This is why Lewes happens. To protest censorship. Me post is “awaiting moderation” AGAIN!!! Thought we could have two attachments before the spooks at GCHQ get their cocks out.

      • Sorry old sport – but 2 attachments will bung it into moderation. I just spotted it and released it.

        To put it into perspective, we get a lot of spam. I’m about to delete a couple of days worth which amazingly amounts to 3,174 items! It’s a bugger, but there it is!

        • Only one attachment? How is an honest Nigerian expected to do business? Hey ho. So long as we know.

    • If anyone knows of any Jimmy Savile / Rolf Harris / Max Clifford effigies being burnt tonight, please post photographic evidence here!

  2. “Season Finales” are cunts. It’s just the last fucking episode, you melodramatic arseholes.

  3. Ian hislop is a smug right up his arse know if all annyong twat.

    Cunt has more chins than a Hong Kong phone book and a self claimed knowledge base challenged only by Stephen Fry.

    I cannot see that or understand why, he has been spared the cunting he deserves.

    My news for u your an annoying cunt hisplop.

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