Heston Blumenthal


Heston Blumenthal is a prime rib of a cunt. Not least because I just had to waste my time finding out how to spell the cunts name correctly.

This fucking Captain Cunt is so painfully fucking rich it turns my cunt inside out. He’s become famous by just adding ridiculously cuntish things to standard cunting meals, then standing there in his cunt glasses with a head that looks like somebody started making a Toby jug then gave up half way through, spouting shit like ‘It just seemed so natural to me to take a British favourite like Toad in the Hole and inject it with dingleberries fresh from my putrid, fetid anus, and semen. Instant classic!’. You absolute fucking CUNT Heston my boy.

I hope this cunt hurries up and dies pretty fucking soon so I can return my attention to wanking over that tasty sort refereeing the snooker at the moment.

Nominated by: Cunt O’MaCunto

3 thoughts on “Heston Blumenthal

  1. I disagree, I do enjoy my weekly treat of prime rib steak fried in the engine oil from a Maybach accompanied with potato au whale sperm and courgettes fried in placenta. Yum!

  2. He ranks up there with Rick Stein, Gary Rhodes, John Torade, Monica Gullatti, Jamie Oliver. Funny 3 people who served time in Australia and New Zealand. The other Nigella Lawson.

  3. I inquired at Heston’s Restaurant about booking a table for a 50th Birthday and I was told that the minimum spend was £200 per head. This man is overacted. I have been to the Fat Buck in Bray in the pat, his food is poor, I have been to all you can eat Indian buffets at £15 per head which were better. However Indian, Pakistani Bengal cuisine is plagiarized. I saw him of Australia Masterchef, and he is the definition of a woman’s orifice, I think hes worse than that. The BBC have created Frankenstein, and when people are eating in food banks and this twat charges £200 a dish when most people this sum this would feed their family for several months. I can here the criticism right now. Why did i try and go to a place knowing the high piracy of his food and given he is a cunt? Well I had been given the task of organizing several 50th parties, and try to accommodate all. Woe has betide me. I saw that the poor Indian chef they asked was just treated like a hobo.

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