The Luvvie Awards 2020

So the BAFTAS are over for another year and there’s no point in dwelling on the winners, because there weren’t any black nominees so clearly it was Waycist!

So here’s the results of the only awards that really mean shit tonight because we had some black nominees. One of them was even a winner. We’re very fair minded in the woke diversity equality stakes here at ISAC.

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Male Luvvie of the Year 2020
  • Idris Elba - For pledging to return to his homeland of Sierra Leone despite not being born there and never having visited it7.98%
  • Patrick Stewart - For pontificating on the evils of Brexit and telling us what to do about it despite living full time in the USA18.62%
  • Hugh Grant - For trying to thwart democracy in the recent General Election by encouraging other thick cunts to “vote tactically” against Boris.33.51%
  • Stephen Fry - For being a wet left self-promoting, faux-aristo flamboyant arrivist Cambridge Footlighter who delights in partonising the general public on all manner of topics5.32%
  • James Cordon - For receiving 7 Emmy nomination despite possessing no talent and inflicting us with Carpool Karaoke and resurrecting Gavin and Stacey, darlings20.21%
  • Steve Coogan - For inventing a character in Alan Partridge who is even less funny than Steve Coogan, and for endlessly lecturing us on everything from lefty politics to Brexit14.36%

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Female Luvvie of the Year 2020
  • Emma Thomson - For flying first class from Los Angeles and back again so she could address an Extinction Rebellion meeting on the evils of flying41.42%
  • Rose McGowan - For tweeting an apology to Iran for killing their terrorist general and accusing The Donald of overseeing a totalitarian dictatorship. And for being American obviously.11.83%
  • Pheobe Waller-Bridge - For being an insufferable arsehole banging on about how hard everything has been for her before she won multiple awards and landed a $20million deal with Amazon4.14%
  • J K Rowling - For her lectures on Brexit, her unswerving belief in Corbynism, her campaigning for an Independent Scotland and demanding that 16 publishers around the world print her books using "eco-friendly" papers10.06%
  • Lily Allen - For being reduced to tears on social media after reading Comrade Corbyns 'finest ever' manifesto30.77%
  • Olivia Colman - For convincing herself that she really is The Queen after playing her on Netflix, and for her endless charity appeals over Christmas1.78%

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Luvvie in a supporting role 2020
  • Elton John - For sucking up to the Sussexes and for calling all Brexit supporters xenophobic Little Englanders who were too thick to know what they were voting for 29.24%
  • Mark Gatiss & Stephen Moffat - For services to literature and holding out to be better than HG Wells, Bram Stoker and Charles Dickens7.60%
  • Daniel Craig - For dressing up as James Bond to reject his favourite vodka martini in favour of an alcohol free Heineken (which Incidentally tastes like horse piss) 1.75%
  • Meghan Markel - For her unswerving support of Harry the Halfwit whilst he pissed all over the Royal Family in order to 'Get Megxit done' 43.27%
  • Eddie Izzard - For his support for 'Don't call me Sir' Keir Starmer in the race for Labour leader in the hope that he can ingratiate himself after being told to fuck off by Corbyn7.02%
  • Ian Hislop - For using Private Eye and HIGNFY in support of his own political opinions against the will of the electorate 11.11%

14 thoughts on “The Luvvie Awards 2020”

  2. The worst of it is that you just know that any one of these Cunts would actually turn up to collect their award if they thought there might be a bit of publicity in it….or a chance to lecture “the little people”.

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  3. Phoebe Waller Cunt… Be warned, this is just the beginning…. This insufferable cunt will become and even bigger and uglier cunt than she already is now… Self importance, self promotion and self entitlement simply oozes from this odious fucking cunt… And she is about as funny as crabs… Think Miranda Horse Face crossed with Posh/Dog/Yoko Spice Beckham, with a bit of Emma Thompson and Ruby Wax thrown in… An absolute luvvie abomination who will now never be rid of… Apart from helping to ruin James Bond (with that smacked arse gnome cunt, Daniel Craig), Waller Cunt will also probably be the next Doctor Who as well…. Her auctioneering largesse with the Aussie fires crisis was also sickening self publicising shite of the highest order…. Thompson is luvvie cunt of the year and rightly so, she is a fucking cunt… But Phoebe Waller Cunt will be the Luvvie Cunt of the next year and maybe even the decade…

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    • Should changer her name to Watter Cunt.
      ’nuff said.

      Me-again will be playing Wallis Simpson in some “woke” cozzy drama.

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    • I couldn’t agree more Norman. God help us and now she’s re-writing James Bond with her feminist touch. Hilarious. This bird is the biggest cunt.

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  4. I would be quite happy to present Hugh Grant with his award……shoving that finger straight up his arsehole.

    Mind you, I’m sure he would enjoy it greatly, if he hasn’t had that sort of thing already, given his history with a certain ‘lady of the night’.

    CUNT.

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  5. ‘ I’d like to thank my mother, father and all my extended family for making me the Cunt I am today. This award isn’t just for me though, it’s for all the Trump haters, Remainers, # metoo victims, the LGTB + community, and Woke folk everywhere.
    In fact, I would like to dedicate this award to Saint Jeremy of Corbyn, who was ruthlessly crucified at the General Election by howwible Waycists ……….. sob, splutter, waaaaah.
    Thank you dahlings, I love you all ! ‘ …….. floods of tears.
    The End.
    Get To Fuck.

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  6. During the BAFTAs, Gayham Norton recalled a “horrifying stabbing ordeal”…
    Gayham, daaahling, don’t tie your shoelaces when the Wankseach is around.

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  7. I must say Admin you’ve done a lovely job of the masthead for this. What with the lovely pink border and the delightfully lit photographs especially the one of Meghan in that circular surround you have added. And doesn’t Dame Emma look so happy clutching her gong? Clearly you given over a lot of time to choosing the right images. The font you have chosen has a scroll-like flourish to it so very in-keeping with subject. I cannot thank you enough (and here I believe I speak for everyone on here) for the painstaking efforts you’ve put in to this visual display. You have created a stunning effect. Well done to you!

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  8. Apparently you can actually buy these stauettes if anyone fancies lashing out on one and tracking down the winner, I’m sure we could arange for media coverage in the form of a cunt with a mobile and facebook.

    Amazon and eBay have a nice selection at around £19 or there’s a nice gem encrusted one at £128. Alternatively my grandaughter could knock one up from some toilet rolls and some sticky back plastic for a tenner…

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  9. Who was that legend who used to doorstep ‘up their own arses‘ actors etc at Film Premiere red carpets, lull them into a false sense of security then hit them with a stinger?

    Ah yes, Dennis Pennis. Once held a BBC microphone to ask Demi Moore whether she was gonna keep her clothes ON next time?

    I’m sure ISACs can club together to hire Dennis and a film crew to stake out Dame Emma and present her with her highly deserved award ….. and an ampoule of Coronavirus whilst at it!!

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