Following an excellent suggestion by King Cnut, we are proud to announce the Cunter’s Dictionary – a glossary of fine terms that can be used to describe the prize cunts of the world together with their definitions.
Additions to this fine tome are invited and will be added as and when we can be arsed…
| A | |
| accunting | summary justice handed out by a cunter – or – false book keeping |
| Archbishop of Cunterbury | pointless cunt and head of the Church of England |
| americunt | teflon coated war monger |
| Agincunt | notable English away win fought on St Cuntins day |
| advocunt | cunt who speaks up for another cunt |
| acuntcronym | cunt word formed by combining the initial letters of a multipart name, such as the wages theft “Pay As You Earn” (PAYE) |
| adjecuntive | qualifier of a cunt-noun or other substantive by limiting, qualifying, or specifying and of several suffixes, such as cuntable, cuntous, cunter and cuntest |
| aristocunt | a rich upper class twit |
| anaerobic cunt | a cunt underneath the slime |
| acuntrobatics | manoeuvres of a pissed cunt |
| acuntlyte | fanatical follower of a major cunt (eg: Morrissey fans, Harry Potter cunts etc) |
| africunt | probably your neighbour next week |
| agricunturist | industrial scale weed farmer |
| AINACS | slow driving cunt’s rear view |
| acuntability | quality of being able to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt |
| anglocunt | an English person acting like a cunt when abroad on trips or holidays |
| B | |
| book of cuntdolence | place for luvvies to leave their thumb print for a dead celebricunt |
| barcunt | thing that makes the till go ‘beep’ |
| C | |
| cunt satchel | a cunt with multiple cuntitudes held within them – like in a satchel |
| celebricunt | pointless, talentless pixel shifter |
| cuntputer | device used to cunt cunts |
| circuntvent | hole in a cunt’s face from whence issues cuntishness. (esp. politicians, rappers….etc) |
| cuntryfile | a repository of cuntishness |
| cunt factor | a measure from 1 to 10 for measuring cuntishness – or – a talentless TV show |
| cuntometer | a device for measure a person’s cunt factor |
| cuntdown | boring quiz show for smartarsed cunts |
| cuntsearchers | cunts who find and expose the real cunts |
| correctorcunting | the art of non-politically correct cunting |
| cuntservatives | caviar eating, champagne guzzling, Etonian bottybashing cunts who govern Great Britain (also known as Tory Cunts) |
| cuntstable | person who is never there when you need him |
| cuntstitution | guide lines governing Cuntitudiness |
| cuntstubble’s Hay Wain | newly coiffured Cunters greeting to a Man U player |
| cuntrycide | retaliation of the be-cunted |
| cuntry Seat | Chequers |
| Cuntstantinople | the final frontier |
| cuntvict | an Australian |
| cuntrary | cunters normal stand point |
| cunterpoint | music for cunts |
| (in the) cuntch | cunt in a difficult or vulnerable position; “he cunted me and left me in the cuntch” |
| clunt | someone who is both a clown and a cunt |
| cuntural enrichment | PC phrase for embracing diversity |
| cybercunts | mindless, immature individuals such as internet trolls |
| cuntivore | a person who eats pussy |
| cuntocracy | a cuntry or organisation ruled by a cunt or cunts (e.g. North Korean, Tipton) |
| chilcunt | procrastinating self, or friends, arse coverer |
| compocunt | a compensation seeking cunt |
| cuntsistant | a consistant cunt |
| cuntney | a cockney cunt |
| cuntocrat | a born cunt |
| cuntroversy | is someone a cunt or not? |
| cuntfrontation | two cunts arguing |
| cunt++ | cunty programming language |
| (the) cunt in the hat | Jamiroquai |
| cuntweazle | sneaky cunt |
| cnt | amerikan spelling |
| cunter | comes between trot and whoa slow down you cunt |
| cuntstabulary | where they keep police horses |
| cuntney | Londoner |
| cuntradiction | no it cunting isn’t! |
| cuntonation street | once a benchmark in telly… Now a benchmark for cunts |
| cuntvict | an australian |
| cuntiac | american pimpmobile |
| cuntaloupe | fruity cunt |
| Cuntney Love | smack riddled scrag-end of the rock ‘n’ roll groupie market |
| cuntgratulations | bad loser’s compliments |
| cuntsultant | 33rd degree satanic quack (in mufti) |
| cuntvert | bring someone to the dark side |
| cuntmas | season of false bonhomie and SCUD (see ‘S’) |
| cuntryside ranger | cunt employed to prevent sheep shagging (good luck with that one) |
| cuntment allez-vous? | franglais – wassup yer cunt? |
| c’unt bien | franglais – champion; fucking champion |
| charcunterie | franglais – butty shoppe |
| D | |
| distinguished cunt | a cunt who stands out even amongst other cunts |
| discunt | opening gambit for a shopping cunt |
| discruntled | somewhat miffed cunt |
| descunt | melody or cunterpoint |
| descunts | (french) as in ‘des cunts est sur les totties’ |
| decunthalon | ten sports in one for the also ran cunts |
| decuntpitude | fucked, knackered old cunt |
| discuntability | condition of being unable to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt |
| dead cunt walking | deadpool nominated celbricunt |
| dicuntionary | tome that contains words you can not spell. Not much fekin use if you don’t know how to spell the word in the first place |
| dickuntson | cunt with a weird suntan |
| differential cuntulus | a way for degree toting cunts to show off |
| difficunt | lazy cunt’s attitude to something requiring considerable effort |
| E | |
| epicuntean | self professed expert on foodycunts (see ‘foodycunt’) |
| ecocunt | a green cunt |
| ecuntologist | smoking, diesel driving, coal burning, sump oil down the drain kinda cunt |
| F | |
| foodycunts | pretentious self-important cooks and chefs such as the chef-cunt Jamie Oliver |
| four seasons cunt | simply a cunt all year round |
| First Cunt Is The Deepest | never getting over being dumped (or not getting a shag) off your first girlfriend |
| ecuntity | path to benefit wealth |
| francocunt | an English person that likes all things French |
| H | |
| holographic cunt | a cunt from all angles |
| hurricunt | someone who is such a cunt (like a Hurricane) they sweep up all around them in a mass of devastating cuntitude (e.g Iain Duncan Smith) |
| horticunturist | weed farmer |
| horse cunt | as in “look at the cunt on that horse”. A deceptive phrase that refers to the rider on a horse and not the actual cunt of the filly horse. (see “Mounted Cunt”) |
| I | |
| idicuntom | expression peculiar to itself grammatically or that cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in “keep tabs on cunts” |
| Intercunt Service Provider | awful Internet Service Provider (ISP) such as Virgin Media and Talk Talk |
| immicunt | a immigrant cunt – or – a cunt who works for the immigration service |
| immacuntlate | a perfect cunt |
| immacuntlate birth | honest Joseph I aint never not been wiv no one else. Innit! |
| J | |
| jihadicunt | islamic male with small penis and scruffy beard carrying a gun or bomb – or – islamic female wearing a burka-sack garment hiding explosives |
| jackcuntnory | kids stories for kids who are little cunts |
| jack-in-the-cunt | pops up from time to time as cunter clown or jester |
| je ne cuntprends pas | franglais – speak English ya’ cunt! |
| K | |
| Kayne Cunt | self important, talentless, gets away with murder cunt (see also Cunt Kardashian = fat arsed slapper, wife of Kanye Cunt) |
| kleptocunt | theiving cunt (e.g. a Liverpudlian) |
| kleptocunt & son | dirty old cunts |
| klu kuny klan | racist chickenshagging cross burning sheet wearing cunts |
| L | |
| lubricunt | KY jelly |
| lexicunt | a dictionary of cunts |
| lock, stock and two smoking cunts | lesbian post coital ciggy |
| M | |
| mulletcunt | a cunt with a dead cat masquerading as hair |
| mourinho cunt | cunt who is in a very privileged position, has a lot going for them, wins a lot, but is still always a sour faced miserable cunt |
| medicunts | quacks and foreigners in the NHS |
| morricunt | a hypocritical veggie eating ego maniac |
| magnificunt | a magnificent cunt |
| mancuntians | northern cunts (e.g. Oasis) |
| mornincunt crescent | cunty panel game |
| mounted cunt | a cunt on horse, especially a Metropolitan police officer cunt on a horse.(see “horse cunt) |
| morning cunt | lead in yer pencil and no one to write to |
| N | |
| neocunticism | revival of classical style (in art or literature or architecture or music) but from a new cuntish perspective |
| O | |
| octocunt | a group of eight cunts, especially mancuntians or kleptocunts |
| ocean going cunt | cunt of titanic proportions |
| P | |
| plebocunt | a common cunt |
| pourcunt | franglais – Why the fuck? |
| Q | |
| quadrillocunt | The Cunt Identity, Ultimatum, Supremacy, Legacy – pretentious up their own arse piss poor films made by cunts, starring cunts and watched by cunts |
| plutocunt | a rich cunt |
| QUNTY | broken keyboard incorrectly reassembled |
| R | |
| rusticunts | a expression for cunt villagers |
| recalcicunt | cunter who doesn’t give a cunt |
| replicunt | a copy cat cunt |
| recunting | a cunt telling a story |
| S | |
| swiss army cunt | a person with cuntishness for every occasion |
| seasonal cunt | someone who becomes a cunt at certain times of the year e.g. Christmas |
| scuntnik | any Russian cunt or one of the rulers in a Russian oligarchy |
| scuntish | of or concerning the haggis chomping, papist sheep shaggers |
| sissycunt | timid milksop cunt considered childish or unassertive. Often says: “He’s not really a cunt” or “she’s not really a cunt” |
| cunt’s watering hole | |
| Strictly Cunts Dancing – or – Christmas eyebola: symptoms: bleeding of the eyeballs | |
| T | |
| tecuntnology | gizmo’s one generation too advanced for a cunt |
| tourettes | fucking cunt! |
| tailcunter | cunt who watches another cunt’s back |
| tacuntograph | ministry tool to circumvent the use of three log books and two sets of number plates. (HGV)(Happy days) |
| tour de cunts | sweaty, be-lycra’d, chain grinder race. In fekin france |
| Très bien, mercunt | Franglais – Thanks a lot, cunt! |
| U | |
| universal cunt | a cunt whose cuntitude can be recognised by people all over the world, even to cunts who don’t know what cunt means |
| upfront cunt | cunt who makes no effort to hide their Cuntitude |
| Uber Cünt (or Unt Cünt) | cunt from ze fatherland |
| V | |
| vacunt | a cunt who’s a bit slow on the uptake |
| vacuunt | a hoover |
| W | |
| weapons grade cunt | a cunt who’s a threat to humanity (e.g. Tony Blair) |
| whizzcunt | a self made cunt |
| wancuntle engine | source of schoolboy humour |
| Y | |
| yoocuntility | rip-off energy commodity or service company, such as E-on electricity, Thames Water or British Gas |
O.C.D. – Obsessive Cunt Disorder
2
Cuntrol-Alt-Delete: the action required when one has made a proper cunt of oneself
1
The Two Cunts: yet another television programme featuring two amusing bespectacled cunts, achieving legendary status over years of broadcunting. Known for ending with the catchphrase “well it’s goodnight from me, and goodnight from this cunt…”
0
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Cunt: gripping fictional account of life in the field of cunter-espionage. Now a major film starring Benedict Cunterbatch.
2
Dai Henwood
(noun) A New Zealand “comedian” with no discernible ability.
(adj) used to describe anybody with no discernible ability. E.g. Oh fuck, he’s a Dai Henwood
(verb) to annoy or bore to such an extent that you want to kick the cunts teeth in. E.g. He’s being a Dai Henwood and I’m going to kick the cunts teeth in.
2
Cherieblaircunt – ugly woman
Bossycunt – senior management
Lyingcunt – politicians
Cuntasourours – a dinosaur unpopular with other dinosaurs
3
Cuntucky Fried Chicken – Where you can eat fried chicken cunts.
1
There are some things money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MasterCunt.
Cuntsberg – If Carlsberg made pussies.
1
Physics: Loop Cuntum Gravity, Cosmic Microcunt Background, The Big Cunt Model, Cuntum Theory.
Maths: Percuntages, SOH CUNT TOA, Cuntesian Coordinates, Cuntplex Numbers.
2
Roberto Cuntos – Can fire a cunt through a wall and into the back of the net.
Cuntinho – Livercunt’s mercurial number 10.
Theo Walcunt – Can accelerate from 0 to cunt in 2 seconds.
Eric Cuntona – Will flying kick the cunt.
0
Please add ‘Arrocunt” i.e. an arrogant cunt, when/if you can be bothered, to the Cunters’ Dictionary.
I love this website!
5
Macuntosh – Apple computer.
Crash Bandicunt – Popular Playstation 1 game.
9
Francis Bacunt – Father of the scientific method.
Stephen Hawcunts – Expert on black hole physics.
Schrodinger’s cunt – Can be both open and closed at the same time.
4
Cuntagious – the spread of cuntism by close proximity to a cunt
2
This is not a nomination, Eurocunt is not in the cunters-dictionary,It really should be there..
thanks
2
Not a cunting as such but I was just wondering – fellow cunters – what terms/expressions might get into the Oxford English (or is it Urdu or Pidgin these days) Dictionary after 2018?
I thought: “Is your bag ticking?” might have made it in this year – following all of the accidental, lone-wolf, “he’s English really”, non-peaceful massacres of 2017. Maybe 2018 is the year eh? But don’t forget there is no “M” problem in this cuntry.
That aside, this year I think the term: “Sho’ Nuff!” is a shoe-in for stardom.
Usage: A positive response to a question such as: “Will you take the ginge, half-blood Prince as your lawfully wedded husband?”
“Cunt’s finger.” must surely also be under serious consideration?
Definition: a medical condition afflicting you people between the age of 17 and 29 through overuse of banal social media websites on thick phones.
Which is often associated with: “Wage cuckold.”
Definition: an employer (usually in the public sector) who has to pay wages to cunts who claim they are (officially – what the fuck NHS you cunts) mentally ill due to social media addiction and therefore will be taking the rest of their lives off work (on full pay) to deal with their affliction by staying at home as posting their recovery progress on social media (providing the anti-inflammatories ease their “Cunt’s finger” problem).
I’ve no doubt my learned fellow cunters have many more terms/expressions which should be submitted to the Oxford Insert any language other than English – which is clearly racist – here Dictionary.
Dip your bread. 2018 has already been a cunt so I could do with a good larf (as Sir Limply would say)!
3
Fuckery: The act, acts or actions of a cunt or group of cunts with the intent of achieving something that is beneficial to them and detrimental to you.
Democunt: An Americunt political party made up of progressive libtard cunts whose stated intent is to repeal individual rights and liberties while promoting bullshit progressive values and group think.
Republicunt: An Americunt political party made up of regressive conservatard cunts who stated intents are completely irrelevant because they don’t believe in them and whose bullshit values are only marginally better than the Democunts.
5
Cuntilicious- tastes a bit like a cunt.
Cuntilingus – what you do to a cunt.
2
Cuntopia – Anywhere Indians ain’t, the dirty cunts.
Americunt – gun toting ex-euro trash.
Mexicunt – greasy Aztec’ian jippo coke mule.
afghanicunt – al qaeda.
syricunt – isis.
yiddicunt – oven dodging baby bakers, the jews.
semi-immicunt – unborn immigrant.
femicunt – emma watson.
cuntelicious – very fucking tasty, better than cunt.
cuntastrophy – “your going to be a daddy”.
medicunt – doctor.
supermegacunt – police officer .
fat cunt – obese.
cuntagious – a selfish rotten cunt spreading the flu.
zombicunt – a cashier.
xylocunt – a musical tin mashing fucktard.
cuntastic – fabulous
7
You forgot Cunta Kinte- an especially Cuntish Black Lies Matter member of African descent but can be applied to any gender of male female LGBTQ PP CC QC QUID …….
7
Paul McCuntney – Ex-Mop Top over the hill thumbs aloft cunt
Benedict Cuntberbatch – Worst Sherlock Holmes ever snowflake luvvie cunt
Skanklett Johansscunt – Arch libfuck snowflake hypocrite and celebrislag
Cuntcorde – Defunct supersonic aircraft
Jeremy Cuntbyn – Terrorist loving Labour cunt
Glastcuntbury – Yuppie twat hippie festival
KT Cuntstall – Crap female ‘rock star’ (snigger!)
Cunty Python – Still cashing in has been comedy troupe
Cunty Don – Smug gardening cunt
Pep Cuntiola – Brian Horton with more money and better drugs
Cuntie Williams – Insufferable big headed fat fruit cunt and sacked Take That member
2
I see you are missing a definition in the cunt dictionary, I am not sure if it would be a noun or a adjective but here goes:
Deja-cunt: A feeling you have met this cunt before.
Thanks!
5
here’s one to add to the dictionary…
Vecunt – Someone who will not consume meat or dairy products!
1
House of Cunts. both Commons and Lords.
From the US TV show featuring for the most part, self confessed drunk diddler Kevin Spacedout, ripped off from the UK show of years previous that told the story a lot fucking quicker.
0
Cuntatude – a cunt with attitude
Cunt or NO Cunt – what box to open
Cuntabox – cunts on TV watched by
cunts watched by cunts
Crazycunt – cousin of the cunt green
frog
Mind the cunt – there is always one at
the train station
1
Cuntsy – to perform a curtsy while being a total cunt
Succulecunt – a tender, juicy, and tasty cunt
Scuttlecunt – rumor or gossip about a cunt
Cuntman – an acrobatic cunt
1
zebracunt Nothing for Z zenocunt zerocunt.
0
Police Cuntstubble = Bobby on the beat.
Cuntybollocks = former bloke ie Bruce Jenner
1
You forgot Supercuntingfragilisticexpialadocious -self explanatory.
0
Arcunt – the owners of the New European
Bercunt – an overbearing narcissist
Cuntroller – 1. Electronic device which self destructs at some crucial point
2. Cunt in charge of the BBC
Decuntstruction – all-female literary programme
Elecunt – 1. alleged attribute of ropey old luvvie cunt at BAFTAs
2. Huge stroppy quadruped with tusks (example, Diane Abbot)
Fecunt – That fat slag blocking the aisle with her 9 brats
Guarcuntee – A topic of endless mirth for the cunt who sold you the item.
Etc…
1
Cunterstated as in some smarmy narcissistic announcer talking down the obvious
1