The Cunter’s Dictionary


Following an excellent suggestion by King Cnut, we are proud to announce the Cunter’s Dictionary – a glossary of fine terms that can be used to describe the prize cunts of the world together with their definitions.

Additions to this fine tome are invited and will be added as and when we can be arsed…

accunting summary justice handed out by a cunter – or – false book keeping
Archbishop of Cunterbury pointless cunt and head of the Church of England
americunt teflon coated war monger
Agincunt notable English away win fought on St Cuntins day
advocunt cunt who speaks up for another cunt
acuntcronym cunt word formed by combining the initial letters of a multipart name, such as the wages theft “Pay As You Earn” (PAYE)
adjecuntive qualifier of a cunt-noun or other substantive by limiting, qualifying, or specifying and of several suffixes, such as cuntable, cuntous, cunter and cuntest
aristocunt a rich upper class twit
anaerobic cunt a cunt underneath the slime
acuntrobatics manoeuvres of a pissed cunt
acuntlyte fanatical follower of a major cunt (eg: Morrissey fans, Harry Potter cunts etc)
africunt probably your neighbour next week
agricunturist industrial scale weed farmer
AINACS slow driving cunt’s rear view
acuntability quality of being able to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt
anglocunt an English person acting like a cunt when abroad on trips or holidays
book of cuntdolence place for luvvies to leave their thumb print for a dead celebricunt
barcunt thing that makes the till go ‘beep’
cunt satchel a cunt with multiple cuntitudes held within them – like in a satchel
celebricunt pointless, talentless pixel shifter
cuntputer device used to cunt cunts
circuntvent hole in a cunt’s face from whence issues cuntishness. (esp. politicians, rappers….etc)
cuntryfile a repository of cuntishness
cunt factor a measure from 1 to 10 for measuring cuntishness – or – a talentless TV show
cuntometer a device for measure a person’s cunt factor
cuntdown boring quiz show for smartarsed cunts
cuntsearchers cunts who find and expose the real cunts
correctorcunting the art of non-politically correct cunting
cuntservatives caviar eating, champagne guzzling, Etonian bottybashing cunts who govern Great Britain (also known as Tory Cunts)
cuntstable person who is never there when you need him
cuntstitution guide lines governing Cuntitudiness
cuntstubble’s Hay Wain newly coiffured Cunters greeting to a Man U player
cuntrycide retaliation of the be-cunted
cuntry Seat Chequers
Cuntstantinople the final frontier
cuntvict an Australian
cuntrary cunters normal stand point
cunterpoint music for cunts
(in the) cuntch cunt in a difficult or vulnerable position; “he cunted me and left me in the cuntch”
clunt someone who is both a clown and a cunt
cuntural enrichment PC phrase for embracing diversity
cybercunts mindless, immature individuals such as internet trolls
cuntivore a person who eats pussy
cuntocracy a cuntry or organisation ruled by a cunt or cunts (e.g. North Korean, Tipton)
chilcunt procrastinating self, or friends, arse coverer
compocunt a compensation seeking cunt
cuntsistant a consistant cunt
cuntney a cockney cunt
cuntocrat a born cunt
cuntroversy is someone a cunt or not?
cuntfrontation two cunts arguing
cunt++ cunty programming language
(the) cunt in the hat Jamiroquai
cuntweazle sneaky cunt
cnt amerikan spelling
cunter comes between trot and whoa slow down you cunt
cuntstabulary where they keep police horses
cuntney Londoner
cuntradiction no it cunting isn’t!
cuntonation street once a benchmark in telly… Now a benchmark for cunts
cuntvict an australian
cuntiac american pimpmobile
cuntaloupe fruity cunt
Cuntney Love smack riddled scrag-end of the rock ‘n’ roll groupie market
cuntgratulations bad loser’s compliments
cuntsultant 33rd degree satanic quack (in mufti)
cuntvert bring someone to the dark side
cuntmas season of false bonhomie and SCUD (see ‘S’)
cuntryside ranger cunt employed to prevent sheep shagging (good luck with that one)
cuntment allez-vous? franglais – wassup yer cunt?
c’unt bien franglais – champion; fucking champion
charcunterie franglais – butty shoppe
distinguished cunt a cunt who stands out even amongst other cunts
discunt opening gambit for a shopping cunt
discruntled somewhat miffed cunt
descunt melody or cunterpoint
descunts (french) as in ‘des cunts est sur les totties’
decunthalon ten sports in one for the also ran cunts
decuntpitude fucked, knackered old cunt
discuntability condition of being unable to cunt someone, especially the intellectually challenged moronic cunt or the slime-ball hypocritical cunt
dead cunt walking deadpool nominated celbricunt
dicuntionary tome that contains words you can not spell. Not much fekin use if you don’t know how to spell the word in the first place
dickuntson cunt with a weird suntan
differential cuntulus a way for degree toting cunts to show off
difficunt lazy cunt’s attitude to something requiring considerable effort
epicuntean self professed expert on foodycunts (see ‘foodycunt’)
ecocunt a green cunt
ecuntologist smoking, diesel driving, coal burning, sump oil down the drain kinda cunt
foodycunts pretentious self-important cooks and chefs such as the chef-cunt Jamie Oliver
four seasons cunt simply a cunt all year round
First Cunt Is The Deepest never getting over being dumped (or not getting a shag) off your first girlfriend
ecuntity path to benefit wealth
francocunt an English person that likes all things French
holographic cunt a cunt from all angles
hurricunt someone who is such a cunt (like a Hurricane) they sweep up all around them in a mass of devastating cuntitude (e.g Iain Duncan Smith)
horticunturist weed farmer
horse cunt as in “look at the cunt on that horse”. A deceptive phrase that refers to the rider on a horse and not the actual cunt of the filly horse. (see “Mounted Cunt”)
idicuntom expression peculiar to itself grammatically or that cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in “keep tabs on cunts”
Intercunt Service Provider awful Internet Service Provider (ISP) such as Virgin Media and Talk Talk
immicunt a immigrant cunt – or – a cunt who works for the immigration service
immacuntlate a perfect cunt
immacuntlate birth honest Joseph I aint never not been wiv no one else. Innit!
jihadicunt islamic male with small penis and scruffy beard carrying a gun or bomb – or – islamic female wearing a burka-sack garment hiding explosives
jackcuntnory kids stories for kids who are little cunts
jack-in-the-cunt pops up from time to time as cunter clown or jester
je ne cuntprends pas franglais – speak English ya’ cunt!
Kayne Cunt self important, talentless, gets away with murder cunt (see also Cunt Kardashian = fat arsed slapper, wife of Kanye Cunt)
kleptocunt theiving cunt (e.g. a Liverpudlian)
kleptocunt & son dirty old cunts
klu kuny klan racist chickenshagging cross burning sheet wearing cunts
lubricunt KY jelly
lexicunt a dictionary of cunts
lock, stock and two smoking cunts lesbian post coital ciggy
mulletcunt a cunt with a dead cat masquerading as hair
mourinho cunt cunt who is in a very privileged position, has a lot going for them, wins a lot, but is still always a sour faced miserable cunt
medicunts quacks and foreigners in the NHS
morricunt a hypocritical veggie eating ego maniac
magnificunt a magnificent cunt
mancuntians northern cunts (e.g. Oasis)
mornincunt crescent cunty panel game
mounted cunt a cunt on horse, especially a Metropolitan police officer cunt on a horse.(see “horse cunt)
morning cunt lead in yer pencil and no one to write to
neocunticism revival of classical style (in art or literature or architecture or music) but from a new cuntish perspective
octocunt a group of eight cunts, especially mancuntians or kleptocunts
ocean going cunt cunt of titanic proportions
plebocunt a common cunt
pourcunt franglais – Why the fuck?
quadrillocunt The Cunt Identity, Ultimatum, Supremacy, Legacy – pretentious up their own arse piss poor films made by cunts, starring cunts and watched by cunts
plutocunt a rich cunt
QUNTY broken keyboard incorrectly reassembled
rusticunts a expression for cunt villagers
recalcicunt cunter who doesn’t give a cunt
replicunt a copy cat cunt
recunting a cunt telling a story
swiss army cunt a person with cuntishness for every occasion
seasonal cunt someone who becomes a cunt at certain times of the year e.g. Christmas
scuntnik any Russian cunt or one of the rulers in a Russian oligarchy
scuntish of or concerning the haggis chomping, papist sheep shaggers
sissycunt timid milksop cunt considered childish or unassertive. Often says: “He’s not really a cunt” or “she’s not really a cunt”
cunt’s watering hole
Strictly Cunts Dancing – or – Christmas eyebola: symptoms: bleeding of the eyeballs
tecuntnology gizmo’s one generation too advanced for a cunt
tourettes fucking cunt!
tailcunter cunt who watches another cunt’s back
tacuntograph ministry tool to circumvent the use of three log books and two sets of number plates. (HGV)(Happy days)
tour de cunts sweaty, be-lycra’d, chain grinder race. In fekin france
Très bien, mercunt Franglais – Thanks a lot, cunt!
universal cunt a cunt whose cuntitude can be recognised by people all over the world, even to cunts who don’t know what cunt means
upfront cunt cunt who makes no effort to hide their Cuntitude
Uber Cünt (or Unt Cünt) cunt from ze fatherland
vacunt a cunt who’s a bit slow on the uptake
vacuunt a hoover
weapons grade cunt a cunt who’s a threat to humanity (e.g. Tony Blair)
whizzcunt a self made cunt
wancuntle engine source of schoolboy humour
yoocuntility rip-off energy commodity or service company, such as E-on electricity, Thames Water or British Gas

104 thoughts on “The Cunter’s Dictionary

  1. Discunt as in discunt over here, as opposed to datcunt over there.
    I didn’t know this page existed, so I’m trying it out.

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