Recently on this esteemed site, a certain Mr Cunt Engine admitted to (and I quote) ‘knocking one out to a picture of Diane Abbott (wearing mis-matched shoes)’. One can only conclude that the gentleman concerned either has a shoe fetish, or was considerably under the influence at the time. (Or both – NA)

Now for a while, I’ve been toying with the idea of putting up a nomination entitled ‘a challenging wank’, but wasn’t sure if it would meet the criteria for a cunting. Anyway, Admin. have given their blessing, and inspired by Mr Engine’s onanistic excesses, I’ll proceed.

Okay; so what to my way of thinking actually constitutes a ‘challenging wank?’. Well, I think we could reach a fair degree of consensus as to what constitutes ‘an unchallenging wank’; a five knuckle shuffle to lascivious thoughts of a Salma Hayek soapy tit job for example;

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/13600616/salma-hayek-54-purple-bikini-celebrates-2020/

Ergo, a ‘challenging wank’ is the opposite; an attempt at self-fulfilment while lost in perverse thoughts of someone considerably plain or unattractive. The challenge is completed if the proverbial ‘happy ending’ is achieved.

As I’m actually putting this nom. up, I’d better kick it off. In moments of perversity, usually alcohol-induced, I’ve done the biz to Joan Rivers, Celene Dion, Barbra Streisand, Kathy Griffin and (heaven help me) Emma Thompson. Each one a bit of a challenge in her way.

However I couldn’t get a rise with the assistance of a lorry-load of Viagra from the likes of Yoko ‘the Wail’ Ono, Angela ‘The Fuhrer’ Merkel, silicon skank Madonna, Emily Thornberry or the queen herself, Flabbott the Hutt. Now these really do constitute ‘a challenging wank’!.

Need I say more? Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of IsAC!

Nominated by: Ron Knee